Because heaven forbid a woman be allowed to birth a child in peace, the BBC and every other news outlet is reporting that ever-impeccable uncommoner Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, aka Kate Middleton, is currently in labor. She and her husband, the Duke of Cambridge/Prince William, pulled into the back entrance of St. Mary’s Hospital at about 6am, London time, sending levels of anticipation of the year’s most important crowning into a fervent frenzy.
As everyone knows, this is the first Cambridge baby. Third in line to the throne and first in line for Catherine’s first-rate hand-me-down wardrobe (assuming it’s a girl), this royal baby is so hotly anticipated by complete strangers that news organizations have made their reporters camp outside the hospital for days, because it’s not like there’s anything else they could be doing.
Now that the labor (ahem, labour) is underway, media organizations large and small must content themselves to speculation and ardent recapitulation of the BBC’s report until the birth announcement is pinned to an easel in the courtyard of Buckingham Palace.
Whenever the Duke and Duchess decide to bring their offspring to Beijing for a holiday, we’ll have plenty of family-friendly recommendations for them. Until then, we’ll just keep waiting for a royal New Arrivals submission.
Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons user Carfax2