It’s easy to become a parent, but not so easy to be a good one. But how do we define good parenting? Parenting styles differ and are highly dependent on personality, culture, and environment. So when a new parent asks, “How can I be a good mother/father?” should we tell them to learn it their way, or get advice from relatives and other professionals? We asked Chava and Mushka, ninth-graders at Ganeinu International School, to explain their insights into this topic.
Can parenting be taught? This is one of the main controversial questions in parenting. Some parents feel the need to learn and get guidance and ideas. Maybe this is because they need more support or want to be guided, and that is fine. Knowledge is power. Parents need to use this power, learn, feel confident, and use their skills to best educate, lead, and pave their children’s way.
Parents should always feel satisfied with their accomplishments and never feel down if something did not work out. In addition, parents should always remember that each child is different, which means that if one way works with one child, it will not necessarily work with another. This is one of the main reasons that good parenting can be taught.
Parents can go to parental guidance classes and share their feelings and thoughts. They can get advice and work on parenting skills and, of course, bring all that learning into action. This can be an example for other parents as well, when a parent goes and learns. It gives the chance to other parents to open up, be confident, and get the help that they need. Just adopt at least one skill that you learned, and then, at the next class, bring it up for discussion to make sure that you understand it. These skills that you have learned are very important and after you have tried them, you can move on from it to letting others know.
Learning how to parent is not necessarily only about going to classes or hearing a lecturer speak. It’s the inside of you that wants the best for your children and that is why you learn. Learning can be from anything; something you learned at another point in your life can definitely guide you as a parent.
We are all people and we can always learn and gain more, including from experience of course. We all can always learn from our mistakes and move on in the giving cycle. If you want to learn, then think of it as an opportunity to teach. Based on what you know, based on what you have learned, you can change someone else’s life. If you do not learn, then someone else loses the chance to learn from you. It’s a never ending cycle. You learn. You teach. You get, and then you give.
Experienced parenting is educating your children based on past mistakes and successes, and raising them based on what you feel is right or wrong for them.
The way you were raised as a child is beneficial when it comes to raising your own. All the things you loved and admired about the way your parents raised you and the things you didn’t like about it pave the way your children will grow up and be raised in.
Looking back at past mistakes that you have made as a person and as a parent is critical for future growth and progress. As you grow older, and hopefully more mature, the way you choose to bring up and raise your children in this crazy journey called life changes. This is because you have learned based on past experience, such as what is appropriate or inappropriate for your children’s growth and the environment you want him or her to be raised in.
Experience of parenting plays a key role in raising children. Going to your own parents for advice and guidance can help direct you to what they felt was right in raising you. And based on their experience you can get a better idea of how you want your own children to be raised. Hearing about the mistakes your parents have made can help you avoid repeating them. In addition, going to any other family member for advice on their experience can benefit you as a person and parent in many ways – learning from their mistakes and successes.
Every child is different and has a unique personality. Therefore, there is not only one way to educate all. The way you educate one is not necessarily the way you would with the other. s one of six children in my family, I see this all the time. Of course rules and guidelines are the same, but a parent’s approach and interaction with every child is different because every child needs their own special attention.
Think of it as a soccer game. The coaches guide the soccer players to the goal based on past experience as a player. It is the same as being a parent – you guide and direct your children to the “goal” – guiding your children to live life and conquer it.
I think experienced parenting is the correct way to raise your children because you learn and develop from your own faults and successes. Your experience as a person is what determines the way your children or future children will be raised and guided. Balancing experienced and taught parenting is important to establish a happy, healthy, and sturdy household.
Photos: Olichel via Pixabay, courtesy of Ganeinu International School