February, 2009

I harbor a deep, dark secret that even the most language-inhibited expats will scoff at. However, I’m a glutton for punishment and all things humiliating, so I will unveil it to beijingkids readers, if not for educational purposes than for sheer giggles.

I have lived in Beijing for almost two years and have never, ever ordered-in. Every time my partner picks up the phone to dial our local Chinese restaurant (zhong guo cai fan dian 中国菜饭店) he looks at me in a way that can only be described as disgust. I know what he’s thinking: two years of living in Beijing and four months of Chinese study, and you still can’t tell the nice person at the end of the phone what your address is.

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There are more than enough kid-centered hands-on literary events to fill your family’s weekends in March. Find events for kids of all ages (even your teenagers). See events below or visit The Bookworm’s Literary Festival schedule.
The Bookworm

Got a budding National Geographic photographer on your hands?
Saturday Mar 7 10am – 11.15am
Kids: Diary of a Wildlife Photographer (ages 5+) - Jan Latta
Got a budding National Geographic photographer on your hands?

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I loved theatre groups as a kid, and I never really got over them. Singing, dancing and generally showing off (but with flare, of course) have been imbedded into my personality ever since I joined my local theatre group at the tender age of 7.

Sadly, it’s now time I step aside and let the younger ones take over. On that note, the Beijing Playhouse has announced that they will be holding enrollment/auditions this Sun 22 for their kid’s theatre camp. Kids aged 6-13 are invited to perform the classic Chinese play Monkey King. I am giggling with glee at the thought of our littlest Beijiners giving this red-hot go.

For more info check out the event listing on beijingkids.

I am 100% allergy free. There is nothing I can’t (or don’t) eat. This, of course, is a wonderful asset in a city where you’re never quite sure what you’re getting. My darling friend, Belle, on the other hand is plagued with allergies. Her allergy to peanuts takes pride of place amongst her other various ailments. Belle is many things: educated, sophisticated, has an amazing ability to hold her liquor (ta neng he jiu 她能喝酒); but a Chinese scholar she is not.

Belle is not so keen on learning Chinese. She already has a second language and has absolutely no interest in obtaining a third. But after she’d been living in Beijing for almost a year, one thing continued baffled me. OK, so you don’t need to know what ‘bike’ is in Chinese, you don’t need to know what ‘computer’ is in Chinese, however you do need to know what, “I go into anaphylactic shock if I eat peanuts” is in Chinese.

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Speaking of Sesame Street, here are more videos* from Big Bird in China, a 1983 PBS special filmed in Beijing and around China before there were KTVs, tapas bars, wi-fi connections and expat villas.

The production came on the heels of a thawing in relations between and the US and a newly opened and reformed China, and the Western media crew was granted relatively unprecedented access to film people and places across China.

*Part G is missing from Youtube

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I recently brought back an assortment of books, toys and supplies from the States for my daughter. Among them was a “Sing-along with Elmo” book that features a puppet of every toddler’s favorite furry monster and lyrics to the song “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”

At first, the sight of a bug-eyed little red monster wriggling around in a hole cut out of the middle of a book completely freaked Marianne out, but she eventually got over it and now giggles with glee whenever we whip out Elmo.

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I may be starting a tad later than your little ones, but it’s back to school time for this little black duck. Last year I made the crazy decision to commit myself to two semesters (xue qi 学期) of Chinese study (xue xi han yu 学习汉语). It’s had its rewards, but mostly it’s just prevented me from going to post-work drinks on Friday night because I was chained to my desk writing characters (han zi 汉字).

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Job Mentality
A college degree just ‘aint what it used to be – so says Newsweek in this article about a “crumbling job market for college grads” in China. This perennial problem is nothing new, but the current worldwide financial crisis is definitely not helping things. With an estimated 1.5 million graduates of the class of 2008 still jobless, the government has responded with a plan to create 9 million jobs in 2009, primarily to help build up the country’s infrastructure as well as positions in rural villages – an initiative that recalls the zhiqing campaigns of years past in which young intellectuals were sent to work in the countryside, albeit with far less ideological motivations.

Judging from pictures like these, they’ve got their work cut out for them.

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Having a baby is usually considered a joyous event, but all those dead-of-night feedings, pushy in-laws and general jitters can make life miserable for any new mom. To make matters worse, some women experience serious post-natal depression, which leads to a vicious cycle of fatigue, fights and even more stress. This can be particularly distressing for family members caught in the crossfire – a stressed-out mama can turn from “sweet-and-nurturing” to “hellfire-and-brimstone” at the drop of a hat.

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As much as I would love to impart some new freaky Chinese language knowledge upon you, I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything vaguely humiliating after my Spring Festival (chun jie 春节) experience.

My partner and I decided to visit both his mother and father’s side of the family in Shandong (山东). The fact that they were separated by a 12 hour train ride where the only tickets available were hard seats, did not occur to us at the time.

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We here at BeijingKids are all about dispensing sound parenting advice. So in the spirit of imparting some good old fashioned common sense, we present you with the following illustrated instruction guide on the Do's and Dont's of baby care*.

*(incidentally, we never were able to figure out the source of these images, which we received as an e-mail attachment. Anyone who may know please feel free to share.)

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Nadya Suleman wins the “Mother of the Year” award for 2009 so far with the news that in addition to the eight babies she gave birth to last week, she had previously conceived and given birth to six other kids, all through in vitro fertilization. Her own beleaguered mother recently told the press that the 33-year-old single mom has been obsessed with having babies since her teenage years and has even sought psychiatric help for her fixation, of which little is understood. Your correspondent’s own late grandmother could have, perhaps, emphathized – she gave birth to 14 kids as well, though only half survived to adulthood, and she did it the old fashioned way: one at a time.

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If you’ve been feeding your dog Optima dry dog food, stop immediately and get your pet checked out by a veterinarian. At least 20 dogs in four cities had died from aflatoxin poisoning after eating the contaminated dog food. Chinese representatives for Optima (优格狗粮 or you1 ge2 gou3 liang2 in Chinese) claim the dog food, imported from Australia, became contaminated with the naturally occurring toxin at a custom’s location in Guangzhou due to increased government regulations during the Olympics. Aflatoxin, a toxic and carcinogenic substance that causes liver failure in animals, thrived in the hot and humid summer weather in Guangzhou, tainting the dog food.

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