humor

I love nature…from afar. And by that, I mostly mean the wild creatures within it. I love playing in the ocean, but would much rather the little critters in there just move aside while I’m in the water. And a hike would be much more rejuvenating to me if I weren’t looking out for surprises on the trail. I’ve never been camping, nor do I have any desire to go, since my idea of it would be sleeping in a motel rather than a hotel. Sounds quite pampered, I know, and I’m well aware that I wouldn’t make a good contestant on Survivor. I do love nature; I just don’t need to be so darned close to it.

So the beginning of our much-dreamed-about Australia vacation tested my ability to embrace nature, and in some cases it tested my nerves.

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There was a bat in our house Sunday morning.

I wish I had taken a picture, but it all happened too fast. My husband returned from a U.S. business trip on Saturday night. We were all asleep when he got home, so in the morning he and I sat in the living room with our coffee to recap the past couple of weeks. All the sudden he kind of freaked out, saying something about there being a bird in the house. I didn’t see it, nor did I hear any noise. But after a few minutes I did see -- not a bird, but a bat.

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Tiger moms and wolf dads, beware! Ten-year-old Beijing students Chen Leshui (陈乐水) and Deng Xinyi (邓欣熠) have you all figured out. They’ve collected their wisdom into a crude but effective guide to dealing with overbearing parents. Aimed at 6-12-year olds, the book is written in blue ballpoint pen and contains helpful diagrams for aspiring rebels. The story went viral after Chen Leshui’s dad posted the scanned images on Weibo, causing parents everywhere to break out into a cold sweat.

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The bright red exclamation point light on the dash, followed by an incessant alarm made me know something was very wrong. I had just driven to the local car wash, but something told me a button or two were inadvertently pushed when the workers wiped down the dashboard. Unfortunately, the controls and warnings are all in Chinese, putting me at great disadvantage when trying to solve the mystery.

Note to self: LEARN the language. But until that happens, learn to deal with the unique situations that just might come up on a daily basis living in a different land. This could have been more upsetting than it was. Perhaps I’m just more used to these things happening.  But it also reminded me of the simple kindness of strangers and how most just want to get along and help.

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In this guest post, blogger and media expert Will Moss muses about the intersection of pop culture and soft power at a recent Disney on Ice show in Beijing.

Chinese soft-power is doomed.

I came to this conclusion a couple of weeks ago. The message was delivered in the form of a guy in a mouse suit on ice skates, and I received it loud and clear when Mrs. Imagethief and I took our son to see the Disney on Ice show at the Workers Gymnasium.

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I’m far from being a techo-geek, however you view that – positive or negative. I don’t have a smart phone or any i-gadgets, nor do I have much desire to own these…although I’m getting to be more curious. I do love e-mail and can browse the internet without any issue, but downloading programs or solving problems makes me anxious. I know all too well that my elementary aged children are going advance beyond my abilities on the computer all too soon.

But I do know about etiquette, even if involved with the electronic kind. 

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This post comes to us courtesy of The Tiger Father, aka Trevor Marshallsea, a Beijing-based Aussie who is the stay-at-home parent of two young daughters.

My wife is OK with any sort of misbehaviour I might get up to as long as I apologise and admit I was wrong.

So yes, basically I’m screwed.

It takes a big man to say sorry and concede he might not have acted 100 per cent correctly 100 per cent of the time. It takes a far bigger man to admit he is lost and ask for directions, but that’s another matter.

In any event, as you all should know by now, I am nothing if not a big man.

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I recently started a job; YES a real paying job here in Beijing. Getting from here to there has never been a question before; I just did what I needed to do to get around. But now; the options and choices are not as easy to come to a simple conclusion. Not discussing money, cost, or amount of money I don’t have; there are many options for getting around in the city. You can choose to drive a car, or actually hire a car and personal driver, hire a taxi, ride your bike, walk, hire a bicycle taxi (ren li che ~ my personal favorite), subway, and of course the bus. But, finding the way to work on a daily basis, what do I choose?

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This post comes to us courtesy of The Tiger Father, aka Trevor Marshallsea, a Beijing-based Aussie who is the stay-at-home parent of two young daughters. His full bio appears below.

Dear Zealous Fanatics,

Today I am extremely proud, weeping with pride in fact, to present a brand new feature of this website. It seems we can’t turn around these days without seeing another show or whole network devoted to cooking. Celebrity chefs lurk in every shadow. Reality shows abound and get more tedious by the hour. Can't we just merge a few of them and save time? How about So You Think You Can Dance, Sing and Cook?

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