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The Adoption Question
Does Elsa want a sibling?
For a couple of years now I’ve been toying with the idea of adopting. I would love Elsa to have a brother or a sister. I have one of each, and have developed a theory that as adults we naturally seek to replicate the family size we grew up with. This theory has as its scientific basis my mother’s habit of setting six places at dinner. She grew up as one of four siblings, and obviously felt that in producing a mere three children, she and my father were left one short of a full set.
As a single parent, my options are somewhat limited. I have friends who have gone the sperm donation route, but although I’d love more of my own children, having Elsa has satisfied at least 90 percent of the biological urge. Adoption seems therefore the best solution, but I’ve been finding it hard to decide whether to go ahead. At the moment, it’s relatively easy to balance work with time for Elsa. When I’m not working, I can focus on her in a way that would be impossible with a second child claiming my attention. And we’re actually very happy as things are, so do I really want to tempt fate? As it is, I don’t always feel I deserve such happiness, knowing that Elsa will probably suffer later as she comes to grips with not having a father. Part of me worries that I’m overreaching, risking what we have by seeking more.
Baby, You're a Homeowner
Living way north of Line 5
I seem to remember being told at school that it might be handy to have a thing called a “life plan.” I must remember to mention that to my son Daniel one day. Helpfully for clueless parents, there is a ready-made one-size-fits-all pattern that is especially popular in China: Get a proper job, get married, buy a place and then have kids. In that order.
It makes sense if you think about it, but it’s boring, isn’t it? Being contrary sorts, my wife Su and I haven’t quite done things according to the book. After falling in love as students in Japan, we got hitched – in Tokyo’s famous red light district, Kabukicho, as it happens. (It’s where the town hall is, honest.) I left a steady job and then we ran off to China, where I eventually started to freelance. (It’s okay, don’t worry: My missus has a salaried position.) A few years later, quite intentionally, we had a baby. And as every new parent could imagine, the script – if ever we had one, which we didn’t – was left in tatters in a forgotten corner, presumed unread.
The Young Spirit of A Christmas Carol
Junior thespians take the stage
Comedian W.C. Fields once said, “Never work with animals or children.” That sentiment is often heard on the set of Beijing Playhouse’s A Christmas Carol, a production that opens this month. That’s a good thing – at least for the kids. “When child actors are good, they’re just adorable, and they steal the scene,” says Chris Verrill, the theater's founder.
Marking Time
A family’s life in Christmas ornaments
Everywhere the Gorman family goes, we take our Christmas trees with us. The first is an eight-foot-tall, bendable plastic spruce, bought on sale one hot Washington summer right before we moved to our first overseas post ten years ago. The second, purchased a few years later, is smaller, sized to fit in a tight corner somewhere.
They might sound tacky, these plastic trees of ours, but they are really quite beautiful. They go everywhere we go because we haven’t always lived in countries where it’s possible to buy Christmas trees. And we are a family that needs a tree.
