May, 2009
Articles from prior issues of beijingkids can be found by checking out the archive links below for the month and year you are interested in.
Take to the Lake: How to make the most out of Dragon Boat Festival
Head to Houhai on a warm Sunday afternoon to see people rowing long, skinny dragon-adorned boats. Dragon-boating is the first sign that Dragon Boat Festival, also known as Duanwu Festival (端午节), is approaching. There are several versions of the origin of Duanwu Festival, which takes place on the fifth of the fifth lunar month. The best-known story is of Qu Yuan, a great Warring States Period poet and the minister of the Southern Chu Kingdom who dedicated his life to helping his country. Despite Qu Yuan’s efforts, the ruling emperor of his time caused the kingdom’s demise by allowing the Qin armies to invade. Disappointed by his emperor and disconsolate at seeing his kingdom’s downfall, Qu Yuan drowned himself in the Miluo River. When the people in the kingdom discovered the celebrated poet in the river, they threw zongzi (glutinous rice and date wrapped in bamboo leaves) into the water to distract fish from eating Qu’s body. In another effort to protect Qu’s body, the people took to their boats and scoured the river to search for his body and frighten the fish.
Beijing Mamas Around Town
Sophia Aurangzeb
Where are you from? Pakistan.
How long have you been in Beijing?
We’re here for a year; it’s been six months so far.
What are you doing for Mother’s Day?
We’re not really doing anything. Every day is kind of like Mother’s Day for me.
Where’s your favorite place to go on the weekend?
We like to explore the markets. Last weekend we went to Tianyi market [in Fuchengmen].
Where do you go to indulge?
My home. It’s comfortable, and I can keep control of the kids.
Welcome to the Motherhood Club: Worry lines, silent prayers and crossed fingers
Nine years ago my first Mother’s Day seemed like a game. The word itself, “mom,” as it applied to me, was still new enough to sound strange on my tongue. Like all new mothers, I carried my baby everywhere, proud to be the mother of such a perfect little creature.
Exhausting though it was, this mom gig was a lot of fun. Talk to the baby, change the baby, take the baby out, watch the baby grow into a healthy, productive, appreciative adult – what could be simpler? Eye of the Tiger: Mastering jujitsu for juniors
If sending your kids to learn to wrestle people to the ground sounds like an accident waiting to happen, think again. Born in Japan and developed in Brazil during the early 20th century, jujitsu is as much about self-defense as it is about the ability to take down an opponent.
Chet Quint, an American who has lived in Beijing since 2005, runs Black Tiger Academy, a martial arts school in the CBD that specializes in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu (or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) and Muay Thai (Thai Boxing). After 2,500 hours on the mat and a year of full-time training in Brazil under Gracie Jiu-Jitsu master Rilion Gracie, Quint earned a coveted black belt. He now holds black belts across a total of five different martial arts.
Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, as opposed to other forms of jujitsu, is largely about self-defense. Quint says that most street fights inevitably end up on the floor and it is here that Gracie Jiu-Jitsu reigns supreme. The Popovics
Irina and Branislav Popovic moved to Beijing three years ago from Moscow with their daughter, 3-year-old Danica. Luka, 1, was born in Beijing at the Amcare Women’s & Children’s Hospital. The family feels fortunate to live in Asia because they can travel with their kids to interesting locations like Thailand and Indonesia to celebrate their birthdays. Here are their family favorites.
Kids Activity At the moment our children are a bit young for extra classes and clubs, but next year we will start taking Danica to dance or music lessons as she is already showing interest in these activities; she is extremely creative. Rainy Day Play
These don’t come around that often in Beijing, but when they do we are fully equipped withall the rain gear imaginable. We get all dressed up and then head outside so Danicaand Luka can splash around in the puddles.
Escapes
2 hours to Shanghai
Families in search of urban glitz will find plenty of kid-friendly entertainment in the Pearl of the Orient. Check out performances by the Shanghai Acrobatic Troupe, stroll the Nanjing Road pedestrian mall for play areas and toy stores, and on the Pudong side of town, treat the kids to combo tickets for the Oriental Pearl TV tower and the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium.
Bring the Family: Kong Yiji 798: Art District
The 798 art district isn’t just for hipsters and the art-savvy – the wide lanes are ideal for a stroll with the family through sunny, tree-lined lanes. The complex was originally designed as electronics and munitions factories by East German engineers in the early 1950s and given the charming designation of 798. After the factories closed, artists looking for cheap studio space moved in during the late 1990s, and the opening of several key galleries propelled the district into popular consciousness in 2003. Now the upscale restaurants, galleries with rotating exhibitions and charming shops that currently occupy the space make for a fun family outing. Spend a day there with the young ones – pop into photography, painting and sculpture galleries, pick up fun postcards, peruse the bookstores, and dine at outdoor eateries. Most cafes here offer fare that will whet kid appetites (smoothies, sandwiches and fruit plates) and parents’ coffee cravings. The Other Mother: Managing the fine line between ayi and mom
For long-time Beijing resident Helen Plummer, having an ayi has been wonderful not only for her career but also for her family. Still, she would be the first to admit the challenges in allowing another person to care for her children. “It hurt when my son called out for ayi instead of me,” says Plummer, a former New Yorker who was raised by a nanny herself. Moms and ayis walk the fine line between friend and foe. Many mothers see their ayis as vital members of the family but finding that perfect caregiver can create tensions and unearth insecurities most moms never even knew existed.
For many moms, having another woman care for their children forces them to deal with some uncomfortable truths, namely that you can’t do everything by yourself.
It can be especially difficult when you realize your kids can be just as happy in the care of a stranger as they are with you. If this tension is left unresolved, a busy mom can quickly begin to feel like she’s being usurped by the nanny. 10 Great Things to do in May
1. Mother’s Day! beijingkids lunch
It’s beijingkids’ favorite time of year, and we want to show moms just how
wonderful they are by treating them to a day of family fun and relaxation. First stop is Annie’s in Ritan for a delicious Italian buffet, then on to see Beijing Playhouse’s adaptation of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. To top it off, every mom gets a bunch of flowers and abox of yummy chocolates.
2. Assemble a Scrapbook
Are you coming to the end of your Beijing journey, or perhaps just starting it? Now is a great time to collect all of your treasured memories and interesting tidbits together into your very own Beijing family scrapbook. It’s a great way to spend a day with the kids, and will also help ease the repatriation blues. Under the Knife: Does cosmetic surgery cut too deep?
Alexandria Pineda, 16, Malaysia, has lived in Beijing for four years
Zhu Huazang, 17, China, has lived in Beijing for three years
Baek Seung Min, 15, South Korea, has lived in Beijing for eight months
Kate Ustyuzhanina, 17, Kazakhstan, has lived in Beijing for two years
She's the One
Strangers never assume that my mother and I are related. Her fair skin and light eyes are the exact opposite of my half-Chinese complexion and dark almond-shaped eyes (courtesy of my Chinese father). “But don’t you wish I looked just like you?” I had often asked as a child. She always laughed and confessed that it didn’t bother her in the least.
Homemade Puffy Paint: Watch your painting come alive
Difficulty Level: Easy Time: 10 minutes
Concoct magical paint, create a masterpiece and then see it puff up in the microwave.
Snapshot: Beijing Mamas Around Town
June Lee Johnston
Where are you from?
Korea.
How long have you lived in Beijing?
Ten years.
Where’s your favorite place to go shopping?
I buy most of my clothes when I go traveling, from places like Cambodia. I like ethnic culture.
Where’s the best place to indulge?
I like going to Bodhi. It’s pretty popular, and I feel comfortable there.
Where do you go on the weekend?
The parks around Lido; anywhere that’s green and peaceful.
I Want to be a Videogame Designer: Frank Yu turns his hobby into a career
American Frank Yu has been living and breathing videogames for as long as he can remember. A Harvard graduate, Yu is the Chief Operating Officer for Shouji Mobile Entertainment, and his career has spanned the globe from Russia to Korea. His resume reads like a Who’s Who of the videogame world – Yu was the Asia Business Manager for Xbox, a program manager for Microsoft and even spent some time as a videogame columnist.
Repatriation Blues
Sometimes the scariest journey is the one that leads back home
Expats are old hands at handling the challenges of living abroad, but when the next destination is home, expats may face a range of unexpected obstacles. The process of repatriation comes with mixed emotions – especially if the decision to move back wasn’t planned – not to mention the logistical challenges of setting up a new home and settling children into new schools.
Beyond the loss of financial benefits and the expatriate lifestyle, returnees often miss the exchanges with different cultures and the small expat community where everyone looked out for everyone else. Worse, they sometimes realize that their values have changed and do not match any more with those of old friends and family.
Here are five tips for transitioning back into life in your home country.
"What I've Learned..."-The Grandmother
The Grandmother
Not your average grandma
My children are adults now, and I’m most surprised by the choices they’ve made. I traveled with them a lot and put them in unique positions with the purpose of nurturing an adventurous spirit in them, but it’s had the opposite effect. I did a lot of traveling through Europe right after high school. I lived and worked in Birmingham in the UK. I worked at a photography studio by day and worked at the White Horse pub at night. I lived in a convent with the nuns because it was cheap lodging. But my kids are both homebodies. Neither of them likes to travel. They both value staying in one place and establishing a firm foundation and home.
I met my husband when I was hitchhiking in Texas. He picked me up. I’m dating myself, but this was in the 1970s when hitchhiking was acceptable. I moved to Texas for him, and that’s where my son and daughter were born.
"What I've Learned..." The New Mom
The New Mom
A whole new life
Looking at my bump, people thought I was having a boy, but I had a feeling I would have a girl. I felt great during pregnancy. I was healthy and enjoyed being pregnant. I’d read that you don’t need to eat for two so I consciously tried to eat well, and in my job, I kept mobile. That helped too. I had a little bit of queasiness in the first few months but nothing major. And no cravings for food – very boring!
In the months leading up to the birth, I wondered, “What will her personality be like?” I did lots of reading and also went to the childbirth classes at BJU which were really helpful. I talked to friends that had been through it. I think I read more about the birth than what to do afterwards. Thank goodness my mum was there to help.
"What I've Learned..." -The Experienced Mother
The Experienced Mom
Three teenagers, one roof
I always planned to have three children and when I had the third, I knew that was enough. I was exhausted! I didn’t originally plan to have them so close together and it wasn’t easy having three children back-to-back, but I wanted them all born in France. Our children were born in Paris, but we’ve lived in the United States, the United Kingdom and now Beijing.
I would say that having teenagers in general is more difficult than any specific challenge of raising children in Beijing. It’s hard having teenagers no matter where you live. Children seem to have more freedom and purchasing power here than, say, in France. They can go here and there with 100 kuai. I don’t give my kids any more freedom than I would in any other country but I worry about this becoming a problem because their friends have more freedom. With teenagers, it’s important to pick your fights carefully and not to worry about the little things.
"What I've Learned..." - The International Mother
The International Mom
Mixing cultures, languages and countries
My mom is from Hong Kong and my father is from England. Up until I was two years old I only spoke Cantonese. I’ve lived all over the world: Zambia, Hong Kong, Australia, Fiji, Egypt, the US, and boarding school in the UK.
When I was at school in London, I identified as being from Hong Kong because that was where I had spent most of my time before then. But when I turned 16, I couldn’t call anywhere home. I went through a bit of an identity crisis. I’m now more English than I am Chinese.
I was 22 when I came to Beijing to study Chinese, and I just stayed. My husband is born-and-bred Roman, through and through. When I first met him, I had never been to Italy. We met in a nightclub in Beijing nine years ago. In those days it was the only place people went. The next time I saw him I remembered his name and pronounced it correctly. That was it for us.
"What I've Learned..." - The Single Adoptive Mother
The Single Adoptive Parent
Embracing the non-traditional
In hindsight, I can pinpoint conversations or events that led to me pursuing adoption as a single woman, but at the time, it felt more like my life was pursuing a predetermined track.
On the millennium’s New Year’s Eve celebration, I remember telling a friend that I was considering adoption if I didn’t meet anyone “special” in the near future. My friends thought, “Yeah, right. Whatever, Gayle.” I always wanted a large family and thought adoption would be a good way to go, but I also thought I would be married before I started.
That January, I decided to go ahead and adopt; I wasn’t going to ignore the feeling anymore. I made a good salary. I owned a house. I had a lot of love to give. I wanted to be a mother, but just hadn’t met the right guy. In September 2000, I submitted the paperwork to China and began the wait. That November, although I didn’t know it, Lydia was born.
"What I've Learned..." - The Working Mother
The Working Mom
Combining a full-time job with full-time motherhood
I was a stay-at-home mom until my daughter was 2 years old. I was away from my job for three years, but I didn’t think I could completely give up work. I like that connection to society, to be able to contribute. If you really like what you do, you feel so rewarded. I regret that my planning hasn’t always been good, especially when my children first went to school. At that stage, schools were low on my list of priorities. It’s something I’ve learned from.
I think you make the choices in your life; don’t feel like you’re a victim. If you don’t speak up or don’t arrange your time well, it will hit you later on. When you’ve made the choice to work, you have accountability and you have to deliver. As far as men and women in the work force go, men aren’t very sensitive to the needs that women have. My male colleagues have children, but they choose work over school commitments. We had a company trip to Bali during the first week of the school term, so I stayed home to be with my kids even though my colleagues went.
