As the COVID-19 Saga continues to draw out, families and teachers have committed to staying safe and infection free, much to the detriment of their social and professional lives. Fortunately, Beijing expats are a tough bunch. In this series, we asked folks to share their stories of being stirred, but ultimately not shaken, by current events.
We all gripe about wanting to have extra time on our hands, and the current COVID-19 crisis has done just that – dumped oodles of spare time on many laps. For some, this is a simple case of ‘too much of a good thing’, with many longing to go back to the regimented chaos of normal Beijing life. While for others, this bit of spare time is exactly what the doctor ordered (quite literally).
Stephen Gleadow, an artist, freelance creative director, creative consultant and designer, and father of two shares his balancing act between being a dad, artist, and husband.
Are you a Beijing Oldie or Newbie?
I have been in Beijing for 12 years. I’m originally from the US.
When you first heard about the outbreak, did you take it seriously or did you take it with a grain of salt?
Yeah, I took it seriously, but tried not to take it fearfully.
Would you say that you have cabin fever? If so, how has it manifested itself?
I really feel my best and thrive on time alone in my studio. Being separated from my workspace is its own form of cabin fever. We’ve been able to get out and about since the beginning for scenic drives and shopping, etc. However not being able to flex those creative muscles in my space has been the most cabin fever’esque for me. The rest I feel like we’ve adapted to pretty well.
How has this outbreak changed your work-life daily routine?
My life is totally different. I’m, as I mentioned, separated from my studio where I do most of my work. We are managing our kids from morning till night, leaving freelance work as a night job from home. So daily rhythms have changed a lot. We’ve adapted as best we can, but it’s definitely not ideal and we face daily sacrifices and flexibility challenges to make life work and fit in healthy, sanity-saving rhythms.
What’s a typical day in quarantine like for your family?
Up at 7.30am then breakfast time and a little screen time for kids. We’re not really morning parents. The first hour, at least, is a coffee supported chill session where the kids mostly watch some kind of educational cartoon bonanza. Keep in mind our youngest is 2 so although our oldest can quietly chill while our minds come to life, our 2-year-old basketball star runs around coaxing us into some form of play.
By 9am we move towards homeschooling projects supplied by our oldest son’s kindergarten. The rest of the day is usually filled with school projects/a rich supply of activities planned by mom, or improvised art projects/play adventures, fort building, and ruff housing usually managed by me. We gave up the parental puritanical desire to not let our kids have screen time so we adults can engage in non-childcare related things like exercise, reading, work, email, etc. My wife and I switch off and on with the kids when work responsibilities come a-callin’.
What do you most miss about Beijing BC (Before Coronavirus)?
Going to art world events like gallery openings, studio visits. Being around the creative community of artists in my hood (798, Caochangdi). Going out in nice weather to explore the ever-changing nuances and cool locales in Beijing.
What have you discovered about yourself during this time? IE: Have you discovered any pet peeves, phobias or ticks that you never knew you had?
As a parent of six years, I’ve struggled off and on with parent guilt. Time-to-time I have found myself asking the question, “Am I doing this correctly”? Feeling bad on weekends, that even though I’m with my kids all weekend long, I’m not having a ton of fun entertaining them all day. In short, feeling bad that I wasn’t a super dad always motivated to, or longing to spend more time with my kids.
Some of this, I realize, has to do with the age of our children. Just before the Coronavirus outbreak, I was enjoying them more than ever because they are maturing and there are more things we can enjoy that connect with my personality. Anyway, flash forward through Corona time and I’d venture to say one cannot spend more time with their children than we have in the last nine weeks. However not much has changed for me other than my capacity to do more.
On the other side of that growth is the realization that I’m okay with my parenting, both the weaknesses and strengths! My kids love me, I love them and I don’t have to feel like I have to martyr myself in order to be a solid, balanced, loving parent. In the midst of all this, I have felt more confident that I’m a good dad and it’s okay to also be frustrated, tired, annoyed and a bit burnt out on your children. It’s normal and not necessarily fixed by engaging more and more and more. I’m grateful for this experience and what it’s provided.
Once all this is over, what do you plan on doing? What do you most look forward to going back to?
Date night out with my wife. Our ayi helping us out so we can have date night. Working in my studio. I’m in an exhibition coming up in Los Angeles that I’m looking forward to one day happening, as it’s been postponed “indefinitely” .
Has the outbreak changed your resolve to remain in Beijing or are you here to stay until the foreseeable future?
We’ve stayed through thick and thin for a long time. We’ve seen friends come and go and Beijing change like the seasons. However this is our home that we hold with fondness and with open hands. If we haven’t left by now, then, well, maybe I leave it there. I like a good mystery.
Photos: Courtesy of Stephen Gleadow
