We have all seen those bullies on TV – the ones who physically attack innocent new kids in the school. Well, in the playgrounds of parks and compounds, some kids are lethal in terms of their verbal and physical abuse of other children. On TV, you often see parents disciplining their own child but not other people’s children. In China, however, most parents do try to educate and correct other people’s children if they have wronged their own child. But should they be doing that?
Speaking from experience, I know what it is like to be cyberbullied. I remember clearly that once during PE class, we were playing tag, and when I chased a girl down the field, I accidentally tripped her, and she scraped her knee. She got really mad, and even after I apologized to her, she swore and then walked away to the teacher, saying that she needed to go to the nurse. I thought that was it and the issue was over. However, little did I know, she publicly started insulting me in Chinese on her WeChat Moments, saying that she wanted to cut off my legs and other physical threats. Luckily, I had a friend who had her WeChat and took a screenshot of the Moments post and asked me what had happened between us. After I told her what had happened, she was the only friend who empathized with me throughout the process and cared about what had happened.
That evening, my mom asked in a parent group chat which member was the parent of the girl who bullied me, and after we added her, my mom sent her mom the screenshot of the girl’s Moments. Later, we were in a call together and the girl apologized to me (or at least I think she did). It doesn’t matter to me if she actually felt sorry, but it surprised me how ugly things can be and how lethal teenagers my age can be.
In terms of physical abuse, I unfortunately also have an experience. It was back in first grade, and it was during recess. The elementary school principal was playing soccer with me and the other first graders, and the team that I was on won. I celebrated my victory, but then got hit in the legs or somewhere by a boy in my class. I did not know what to do because I was the new student in the grade, and I did not yet have any friends around me who would speak up for me. The principal saw me getting physically abused by that boy, and fortunately, the boy later apologized to me.
But the boy was infamous for physically abusing others. He had already gotten himself into trouble multiple times before for hitting other people at school, but the main reason for the occurrence of his actions was because of domestic violence in his family, which resulted in him using similar methods of violence on his peers. Even though all the parents of the children in my grade knew that his family was going through a rough time in terms of the relationship between his father and mother, the parents whose children got abused by him did not hesitate when it came to bringing up the issue to his parents and trying to educate that boy.
Before writing this article, I did not know that in some countries other than China, parenting other people’s children may not be as common, because from my experience, my parents never hesitated to put another kid in their place. I had a friend back in kindergarten who asked me which university I wanted to go to in the future, and I said that I wanted to go to Harvard (like every other child when they were in kindergarten). She immediately responded, “Only smart kids can go to Harvard.” I was silent because I didn’t know what to say, but my mom replied, “So, do you think you are smarter than Margaret?” which made her go silent.
So, what do you think? If your child is getting bullied at school, would you step in or let them deal with it on their own? If you’ve been bullied and want to share your experience and how you handled it, get in touch with our editor Mina Yan, at Wilhelmina87 on WeChat to share your story. You can remain anonymous if you want. It’s important for you to know that you can speak up and for others going through something similar to know they’re not alone.
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