In New Haven, where I now go to school, I once joked to a friend that the café is my monastery. When I’m in town, every afternoon I approach Chapel Street like a studious monk abiding by a strict schedule. Two coffee shops enter my field of vision. Starbucks, with its instantly recognized green mermaid, is on the left. She directs her beady little eyes and faux grin at pedestrians, seducing them with the promise of convenience, regularity, and trendiness. Her damned doctrine poisons the minds of poor consumers, who find their meaning in life soon to be dictated by devilish pink drinks and pumpkin spice lattes. I, a sophisticated flaneur, urban sage, and faithful believer in posh spaces, turn decisively right and saunter towards Atticus Café – where the warmly lit atmosphere inside seems sacred and inviting.

Upon entering, everything becomes a ritual. I place my order, leave a generous USD 1 tip, and wait to pick up my holy water of choice: a foamy cappuccino.

Why the cappuccino? That’s a silly question, but I’ll enlighten you. As you indulge in that first sip, your upper lip performs an ablution in the warm, smooth milk froth; your palette awakens to nutty, bitter flavors, and your spirit returns from the abyss of deadlines and lack of sleep.

The café is an imperative part of my day. Some don’t understand what seems like a peculiar habit. Others, like my roommate, think that grab-and-go coffee at the Elm (a fancy campus convenience store) is cheaper, more convenient, and “does the job.”

It really isn’t the fault of my detractors that they live without standards. But I hope that you, dear reader – you and I – share the knowledge that coffee shops nourish our souls. It is in these spaces where we find solace from the tedium of school or work life, where we can strip the masks of “student” or “son” to enjoy time privately or to express honest thoughts to companions.

Of course, plenty of social spaces serve such a function: bars, parks, and occasionally the boys’ restroom during my senior year history classes. I fell in love with the café because of 遇吉岛咖啡 Grooveland Coffee: a neighborhood coffee shop I frequented in my high school days at Keystone Academy here in Beijing.

My most cherished memory at Grooveland is of a June afternoon during the summer of my junior year. I was regularly frustrated at my slow progress on a research paper. In the mornings, I went to a volleyball camp, which I had signed up for on a whim. (There was lots of fumbling and being outplayed by middle school girls.) Nights saw me sluggish or engaged in YouTube marathons. The afternoons were the hours of opportunity, the hinge of my paper’s success or failure. On the day in question, I spent an hour in my room, but the results were disappointing. It was one of those hopeless moments of self-reflection when you realize that another day is about to go to waste. In an act of desperation, I thought I would try something new: studying at a coffee shop.

This was to be a new experience. I wasn’t a big coffee person back then, maybe drinking half a Starbucks latte (I didn’t know better then) every once in a blue moon. I had studied at Grooveland twice before and was productive, but I had learned never to underestimate my ability to avoid work. More importantly, I usually sit down at coffee shops under the auspices of my mom.

Who knew what I was capable of off the leash?

Moreover, being in a public space alone is unbearable for the introverted, sheltered adolescent boy. For me, it was a leap towards my perception then of adulthood – bitter black coffee and looking lonely but serious. I didn’t want that, so I pleaded with my friend Alex to join me. It was a grave mistake: When we arrived, he ordered orange juice. “橙汁,” he muttered to our waitress. I felt the eyes around us turn. I gave him a glare, but it was too late. We had exposed ourselves as little barbarians, ignorant of what the fifteen different pour-over coffees on the menu were. Yet it was also somewhat liberating. I felt less of a need to put on an act for the serious-looking adults around me.

Alex and I stayed for a few hours. Like a first kiss, the exact details were lost on me, but the sentiment from that visit was clear: This was a place I had to return to.

Gradually, Grooveland became a place where I would enjoy myself in solitude. Every early afternoon, I climbed up the stairs leading up to the café in the blistering heat as the revving engines and chirping cicadas gave way to conversation, music, and the imagined dripping of coffee. The scent of cigarettes and roasted beans would begin to intensify. Like a Pavlovian dog, I wouls quicken my steps and leap into the café. Inside, a calming aesthetic, which I think derives from the ubiquity of wood – the bar counter, round tables, and painted planks below – would transport me away. However, the pointed ceiling of stained concrete was of industrial gray, a color the Beijinger knows well from gray-bricked alleyways, unpainted concrete structures, and thick smog.

Usually, Grooveland is packed with regulars and visitors. Young coffee enthusiasts huddle excitedly around the owner, a pour-over master, at the counter. A table of three to four adults gathers awkwardly, trying their best to look relaxed. Two dolled-up girls in dresses take artsy photos of each other. A peculiar-looking artist is jotting something down on paper. If you’re lucky, you encounter a first date. A girl, immaculately dressed and perfumed, sits on the edge of her seat. On the opposite side sits a slightly sweaty boy in a boring white tee and dirty black sneakers. It’s the sort of couple that I’ve grown desensitized to.

Speaking of dates, a cute barista worked at Grooveland. My heart would rejoice whenever she took my order. Those interactions were short but sweet, and I would steal glances (pretending to be in thought) as she hurried around the busy space.

Still, I was usually productive in Grooveland – not in spite of my dynamic surroundings, but because of them. Cafés are often known as public-private spaces, as one enjoys anonymity in a public environment. Compared to the workplace, the anonymity is liberating. Compared to home, it’s less emotionally intense.

Thus, hours would drip away during my study sessions in Grooveland. The pale light coming from the window blinds would condense into a warm glow. The shadows widened and darkened. The waves of indiscriminate chatter from before dissolved into ripples of a few faint voices. My stomach grumbled; my buttocks melted; my eyes became sore. Yet, like a monk that willingly chants his vespers into the early dawn, I typically stayed in Grooveland until my mom mandated my return for dinner. My time in the backyard was over: back on the leash.

I’m currently on summer break from college and I returned to Grooveland a week ago. It has since relocated, and the space has expanded. An enlarged counterspace, a new meeting room, and the chicken sandwich on the menu made the place feel a little foreign. My circumstances have also changed. I was on crutches. It took twenty-five minutes to drive here from the new apartment. I ordered a pour-over made from deep-roasted beans of a Brazilian variety. Slightly bored, I began to halfheartedly scroll through a book on my laptop. Just then, through an inadvertent glance, a familiar face emerged from behind the bar counter. It was that cute barista!

Find it:
1/F, Rm 103, Bldg 2, Area B North Gate, Wanhe Wenchuang, B District, Bei Shunbai Lu, Cuigezhuang District
崔各庄地区村村北顺白路万荷文创B区北门2号楼一层103室
Tel: 130 8066 0070

Images: Jack He, Pexels

You might have heard of “The Biggest Loser,” a reality TV show which features obese contestants who embark on a 30-week long journey to attempt to lose as much weight as possible. To do this, they go through grueling workouts and eat measly but “healthy” and low-caloric salads and sandwiches. In this show, food is portrayed merely as a tool for weight loss and contestants often lose 20-30 pounds per week although professional guidelines usually recommend losing no more than one-two pounds per week. Unsurprisingly, many contestants find themselves regaining most of the weight they lost in the long run.

Sadly, many people have a Biggest Loser kind of attitude towards food that is, in the view of Dr. Liu, a clinical dietitian working at Beijing United Family Hospital, extremely one-sided. Instead of labeling foods as sinful and untouchable, she believes that people should develop a grateful attitude towards food, which is a necessity in terms of our health and survival. According to Dr. Liu, the nature of food is neither moral nor immoral, however improper food choices do negatively affect our health.

One cause of this imbalance in attitude to food is the unrealistic beauty standards so prevalent in mainstream media. One report published online by the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Nutrition found that half of the assessed teenage girls and a quarter of boys weren’t satisfied with their bodies. This dissatisfaction often leads to excessive dieting which can lead to eating disorders, abnormal hormone secretion, and even infertility, not to mention the equally destructive mental health problems improper dieting instigates.

Pictures of influencers and celebrities on social media appear attractive, but they are often unattainable. In East Asian cultures, girls with slender frames are generally deemed more attractive; thus, girls go on diets and ignore cues of hunger, which studies have shown to be counterproductive to weight loss in the long run.

Finding a healthy relationship with one’s body and food can be difficult when the problematic idea of a “perfect” body image is so prevalent and widespread, but we should all recognize that we have our own individual body types and eating patterns. Rather than seeing food as evil or something to blame, a barrier between ourselves and healthy bodies, we should recognize that developing healthy eating habits will improve our metabolism, mood, and health in general.

And what about dieting? Dieting culture can be found the world over but as local fitness and dance instructor Vanderwegen Moreno Dorotea, or Diva to her friends and students, shares, although people have become more educated about how certain foods affect our bodies in recent times, diet culture can quickly become toxic and detrimental to one’s physical and mental health. Practicing ballet from a young age, Diva struggled to emulate the extremely thin body type synonymous with classical ballet dancers. In order to achieve this, she tried all sorts of diets, to the extent of starving herself and becoming anorexic, and suffered from hormonal imbalances, subsequent overeating, and psychological shocks as a result. These days, Diva does not believe in diets and emphasizes that as we all have different bodies that react differently to different foods, a diet that works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. Dr. Liu also does not recommend diets, especially fad diets due to the lack of scientific evidence behind them. Dr. Liu believes many diets don’t take into account the bigger picture, in which being healthy is not exclusively limited to being thin.

But if dieting is out, what constitutes a healthy, normal relationship with food? One movement, for so-called ‘intuitive eating’, is gaining traction of late, and takes a somewhat primitive approach to food, with adherents eating according to their instinctive cues of hunger and cravings, rather than diets. Dr. Liu says that she finds the concept interesting, but that the lack of scientific support is concerning, as people are biologically wired to crave sweets when they are tired. She also points out that one’s feelings or cravings don’t always correspond to needs, but what she calls ‘taste memory’ or basically, habits. To transition to a healthier relationship with food, Dr. Liu recommends referring to professional resources like the World Health Organization, national nutrition associations, or clinical specialists instead of following pseudo-professionals online.

Somewhat related to intuitive eating, mindful eating is another movement growing in popularity and is designed to prevent the habitual and unconscious consumption of food, for example munching on chips while watching TV. When eating like this, our brains are not engaged with the food we are tasting, and it is easy to completely miss cues such as fullness, and end up overeating. To prevent this and to re-engage with the eating experience, advocates of mindful eating encourage taking measures such as only eating at the dining table, putting away phones, books, and other distractions while eating, and writing a reflection of your eating experiences after each meal.

Finally, along with dietary modifications, making lifestyle changes such as incorporating a consistent exercise regimen will also contribute to a better mood and health. To do this, many of us need a shift in mentality, to view exercise not only as a tool for weight-loss but something enjoyable that also carries other positive health and social effects. If you’re thinking about starting a new exercise regime, Diva recommends thinking through and recognizing the ways that it will benefit your life, not only from a weight-loss perspective. This way, you are more likely to stick to it long-term.

KEEP READING: Nutritional Weaning: Pumpkin and Sweet Potato Baby Hummus 

Images: Unsplash

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 September issue

I set a few unrealistic goals for myself at the beginning of summer, as so many of us do. I’d heard that the summer following 10th grade is supposed to be meaningful, but don’t “meaningful” and “summer” kind of have opposite meanings? I think my summer was pretty meaningful, but my bar for what is meaningful is probably pretty low because of the wasted summers I’ve enjoyed my entire life.

This year, interning at beijingkids has been fun and educational. Having a platform to learn and write about the city I live in as well as personal stories has been lovely. The work environment was also more casual and inviting than I expected. An added perk is that the beijingkids office is located near some of the biggest shopping areas in Beijing, so I’ve had a blast tasting all of the many restaurants saved in my DianPing. You might have heard of water scarcity, but in Shunyi, where I live, there’s a scarcity of amazing restaurants. As a foodie, that’s a tough place to live in. I’m positive that if one conducts a study of the concentration of foodies in the districts of Beijing, Shunyi’s numbers would be towards the bottom of the list.

I swear time goes faster during summer vacation. 7 weeks, ‘poof’, and it’s gone. Is it just me, or do the first one or two weeks of summer seem meaningful and long, but the rest of the summer just flies by within the blink of an eye? It’s like some type of mind trickery.

Well, now begins the annual countdown until the start of school, which for us Keystone Academy students, is the Aug 17. I’m both dreading but eager to begin school.

In previous years, my excitement for school came from a mix of wanting to get away from my family and guilt for being irresponsible and unproductive over the summer. (I’ve just described a stereotypical teenager who is rebellious and has no direction in life, I know). However, this year I’m excited for different reasons.

First, this year is bound to be different. Our first two weeks of school will be conducted online, again. My personal views on online learning are mixed. COVID-19 has affected education in unexpected ways, some positive and others not. I like being in charge of my own time and staying at home, but face-to-face learning is much more interactive and productive. I’ve also learned about several useful online educational resources like Education Perfect and NoRedInk which make learning fun and interactive despite being on a screen.

On the other hand, disappointing and lower-than-expected 2020 IB results have raised questions about what constitutes “fairness” in testing during a time when different students are affected differently by a global pandemic. Going into 11th grade, college is no more a distant myth, it’s the next major step of my life. Everyone wants to maximize their last two years of high school, and it’s a bit worrying because of this fluctuating and unpredictable pandemic.

Aside from academics, extracurriculars are essential to almost every student’s school experience. If the basketball season gets cancelled, that will not only be a blow for me, but also to every passionate student who is involved in school athletics. Basketball means a lot to me, and many don’t understand why, but I think that basketball can be compared to a good friend. The more you invest in it, the better your relationship with it.

That’s the thing. There’s so much uncertainty in everything we do right now. However, with this uncertainty comes anticipation for adventure. That’s what I’m hoping this school year’s going to be like: adventurous with ups and downs. Nobody wishes to live in a predictable utopia, that’s merely a moral construct. We need adversity, we need challenges, and we need adventure. That’s my mentality towards the upcoming school year. It will be full of challenges and surprises, but what really matters is embracing it by taking risks and coming out as a better and wiser person. Instead of being vulnerable to chaos, find yourself within it. Don’t be yourself, be better than yourself. Well, that’s gonna be my motto for this year. I hope I don’t mess it up…

“Jack, thank you for all of your amazing work during your summer internship. We have loved having you in the office and will miss your unique and thoughtful perspective. We wish you the best of luck for the academic year, we know you’ll thrive” – the beijingkids editorial team

 Click here to read more of Jack’s work (including this moving piece about his grandfather’s Tsampa)

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Your team is down by one. The ball is in your hands. Everyone knows you’re going to take this shot, and you’re as confident as ever. You slowly dribble towards your defender. The attack begins, you drop your shoulder and drive right in an attempt to blow by your defender, and as your defender, out of place, rushes to stop you, you counter by changing direction, crossing the ball between your legs, and jump up to take the open shot. Cash, the ball falls through the net cleanly, making that distinguishing “swish” sound. You clench your fist in triumph… and wake up from your daydream.

Sadly, due to lockdown measures, basketball courts across the city have been forced to close for months since the pandemic began. Without real basketball, players can only imagine the rush and excitement of knocking down shots and crossing people over. But as coronavirus concerns subside, public basketball courts are among the many public venues and businesses that are reopening.

Here’s a list of some of the best indoor and outdoor public basketball venues in Beijing. Many of them are bookable via Dianping, simply search the Chinese name in the app.

Chaoyang District

Hooplace (The Place)
East side of World Trade Center, 9 Guanghua Road
光华路9号世贸天阶东侧

The location, as well as the squeaky clean and high-quality hardwood courts, makes it the most expensive indoor basketball court in Beijing (legends say that booking the court costs  RMB 2000 per hour but we were unable to confirm that).

主场篮球公园·美凯地板 Home Game Park
Borui Sports Complex, 5 Chemical Road
化工路5号博瑞体育综合体内

There are 4 full basketball courts inside this Indoor “Game Park”, and this is one of the most popular venues. RMB 55 per person per session.

Jingju Basketball Hall 京聚篮球馆
228 Beiyuan Road (courtyard of the LPG plant on the north side of Exit B1 of Datun Road East Metro Station)
北苑路228号大屯路东地铁站B1口北侧液化石油气厂院内

This venue requires minimum of two-hour bookings. RMB 800- RMB 1000 per hour for a full court depending on the time of day, half-court 60% of the full court fee.

Hongchang Junhuaxiang Basketball Stadium 宏昌竣花香篮球馆
In the Hongchangjun Net Badminton Center, 88 Laiguangying East Road
来广营东路88号宏昌竣网羽中心内

There are two courts at this venue, which is covered by an air dome. I have been to this court several times, and although the lighting is dim, the courts provide good feedback and aren’t slippery. You can book either a half or full court on DianPing, but the spots fill up very quickly. RMB 70 per person per session.

“MY COURT”
Building 1, 10 Jiuxianqiao East Road
酒仙桥东路10号1幢

Referred to as the most famous indoor court in Beijing, many professional players who have trained and visited this court. Is it worth the seemingly extortionate price? I’ve been there once and I would say no, but the courts are undeniably outstanding. RMB 1838 for a half-court for two hours. RMB 3060 for a full-court for two hours.

Olympic Forest Park North Park 奥林匹克森林公园北园
100 meters west of the intersection of Yangshan Road and Anli Road
仰山路与安立路交叉口西100米

This outdoor court is located within the northern section of the Olympic Forest Park.

Dongcheng District

LongTanHu Sports Center 龙潭湖体育馆
76 Zuoanmen Inner Street
左安门内大街76号

LongTanHu Sports Center has tennis courts, badminton courts, and soccer fields in addition to basketball courts. You can book hours on DianPing, but spots fill up quick.

Dongdan Sports Center Basketball Hall 东单体育中心篮球馆
Southwest Corner, Dongdan Intersection
东单路口西南角广发银行大厦南

An outdoor court located south of the Guangfa Bank Building.

Beijing Ditan Sports Center-Basketball Hall 北京市地坛体育中心-篮球馆
168 Andingmenwai Street
安定门外大街168号

An outdoor court in the Andingmen part of Dongchen district.

Fengtai District

Digital Space Basketball Stadium 数字空间篮球馆
2F, Xin’ao Shopping Center, National Stadium North Road
国家体育场北路新奥购物中心地下二层大中庭篮球场

The price of these courts depends on the time of day you want to play, and one-hour bookings seem to be available only before 8pm. RMB 450-650 for one hour before 8pm, then RMB 1300 for two hours from 8-10pm.

Motive Basketball Forest Park 动因篮球森林公园
3F, Block G, Jinghui Industrial Park, Meishikou Road
梅市口路京荟产业园G座3楼

This venue is easy to book, with lots of available time slots and reasonable prices. RMB 600-1100 for a half-court for two hours, or RMB 1200-1800 full-court for two hours. The price depends on the court material (wood or rubber) as well as the duration.

Game On 篮球中心
3F, 111 Jingshun Road
京顺路111号比如世界三楼顶层
This outdoor court is located on a rooftop and costs RMB 180 for a half-court for one hour.

Xicheng District

EMOTION ZONE 篮球中心
Unit K3, Building 4, 346 East Street, Zhushikou
珠市口东大街346号4幢K3单元

RMB 50 per person per session on weekdays, RMB 100 per person per session on weekends.

Guang’an Stadium 广安体育馆
26 Denglai Hutong
登莱胡同26号

Shoot hoops in with the locals at this hutong outdoor court.

Shunyi District

New China International Exhibition Basketball and Badminton Stadium 新国展篮球羽毛球运动馆
Courtyard of Tianzhu Real Estate Development Company, Yufeng Road, Houshayu
后沙峪裕丰路天竺房地产开发公司院内

This basketball and badminton complex offers a range of price points, depending on if you want to come alone and shoot some hoops, or book a private court. RMB 40 per person per session for individual access, or RMB 600 for a half-court for two hours on weekdays, and RMB 700 for a half-court for two hours on the weekend. Price for a full court for two hours is RMB 800 on weekdays or RMB 900 on weekends.

Evolution factory 进化工厂
1 Jichengzhuang, Yizhuang Town
亦庄镇吉成庄甲1号

RMB 260-400 for a half-court for one hour, RMB 260-1200 for a full-court for one hour. Prices vary depending on the time of day and week.

Daxing District

World Flower Holiday Plaza Basketball Court 世界之花假日广场篮球场
Jiujingzhuang Road, Jiugong Town
旧宫镇久敬庄路

Book a full court at this outdoor Daxing spot for an hour for RMB 300.

KEEP READING: Put Your Trust in Beijing’s Best Local Tour Guides and Agencies

Photo Credit: Unsplash, DianPing, Pexels

Food can be a powerful way to link ourselves back to our culture and family and the dishes that we love the most usually aren’t the fancy restaurant dishes. They are the ones we grew up with, which are steeped in childhood nostalgia. For me, that one unforgettable dish is tsampa.

My grandfather is from Tibet, and I grew up being exposed to certain elements of Tibetan culture, including its religion, history, and traditions. I even have a Tibetan name “德赞穹培” which more-or-less means “amass all blessings and be protected by Buddha’s glory”. Being the foodie that I am, I became especially intrigued in Tibetan cuisine, which is vastly different from the food you find elsewhere in China. Tibet’s distinct living environments and nomadic background results in a meat- and dairy-based diet, while barley is the dominant grain.

My grandfather in his hometown

On one occasion when I returned to my hometown, a Tibetan village in Qinghai Province, my grandfather and a few villagers held a celebratory lunch party before our departure. An entire lamb was slaughtered fresh in our yard prior to lunch, and a few hours later, a feast of lamb intestines, blood sausages, meat, cheese, potatoes, freshly picked greens, and barley wine were laid out on the lunch table. To wash down the heavy meal, there was free-flowing hot milk tea made with freshly squeezed cow or yak milk and dark, bold puer tea (普洱茶 pǔ’ěr chá). Speaking of Tibetan drinks, my grandfather often made us butter tea (酥油茶 sūyóuchá), made from yak butter and puer tea. Butter tea can be made salty or sweet, and although unorthodox, it is a very popular drink that provides warmth and energy in the brisk and barren Tibetan climate.

Roast barley flour (left), Tibetan cheese: hard and chewy texture (middle), heartier and drier yak butter (right)

Another dish that I hold very dear to my heart is tsampa (糌粑 zān bā) a typical Tibetan dish that is made by mixing roasted barley flour (青稞粉 qīngkē fěn) with leftover butter tea in a bowl. The mixture is then manually formed into a pasty dough, formed into a shape, and eaten without baking. You can always find roasted barley flour, yak butter, and puer tea in my grandfather’s house, so when I stay with him, he often offers to make me tsampa. Sometimes he sweetens the mixture with honey and sugar to satisfy my and my sister’s picky palates or adds texture with dry hard Tibetan cheese. The nuttiness from the barley and fat from the butter tea pair surprisingly well, and the calorie and nutrient-dense nature of tsampa give you energy for the entire day. Wash the tsampa down with a bowl of puer tea, and you’re good to go.

But does it actually taste good? Sadly, my predominantly Beijing palate has never been keen on butter tea and tsampa is definitely not something I crave every day, but the emotional nostalgia attached to both dishes make them extremely special to me. Tsampa reminds me of my grandfather and his virtuous and kind approach to life, my beautiful hometown which I haven’t visited in years, and most importantly, my family’s identity and culture that I am not willing to forget.

A picturesque view of my hometown

If you’re interested in knowing more about the culture of Tibet, visiting the region itself certainly makes for the most authentic experience, but there are a few Tibetan restaurants in Beijing where you can get a taste of tsampa and other Tibetan delicacies such as butter tea, barley wine, yak meat, and roasted lamb.

Grand Dandong Theme Restaurant  格兰丹东主题餐厅 
Building 42, 1 Minzuyuan Road, Chaoyang District
朝阳区民族园路一号 42栋
Most popular dishes: boiled lamb with dipping sauce and spices (雪域白条), roasted yak meat (康巴汉子), beef pies (牛肉饼), Foil-Baked Bass (锡纸焗鲈鱼), pickled radish and beef stir fry (酸萝卜炒牛肉)

Everest Restaurant 珠穆朗玛餐厅
B1 Floor, Everest Hotel, 149 Gulou West Street, Xicheng District
西城区鼓楼西大街149号珠峰大酒店B1层
Most popular dishes: Yak meat (手撕牦牛肉), ginseng fruit salad (人参果沙拉), yogurt (特色酸奶), barley scallion pancake (青稞葱花饼), roasted lamb chops (精品烤藏羊排)

KEEP READING: “That’s Not Bing! It’s Roti!”: When Indian and Chinese Food Unite

Images: Go To Tibet, courtesy of Jack He

What would you do if your child slapped you in the face in public? Would you lose your nerves and hit your child? Would you give your child a time-out? Verbal insults? Get the child to apologize? Threaten punishment? These are choices parents have to make on a daily basis, and the fairly recent debate of corporal punishment which is now banned in more than 30 countries worldwide, brings attention to how different cultures approach parenting and child discipline in various ways.

How different cultures approach spanking 

Different cultures have different perceptions of what parenting practices are deemed physically or emotionally abusive. In one survey it was found that 97% of boys in Kenya were spanked as opposed to only 6% of boys in Sweden.

Growing up as a Chinese kid, my parents occasionally told me stories of how they were hit by their parents because they received a poor grade or did something dumb. And indeed it has been observed that “parents in countries in countries with more collectivist orientations, such as China, tend to emphasize the importance of behavioral inhibition and subjugation of individual wants for the good of the family”. These more collectivist orientations are linked to China’s unique culture and history, notably the prevalence of Confucianism. Confucius originally described the kinship between a child and his father as filial piety (孝 xiào), a reciprocal relationship in which the child respects the parent as a repayment for the parent’s care of the child. The concept of filial piety lies at the basis of many East Asian families, a concept which prioritizes the entire family instead of the individual.

On the contrary, Western cultures tend to assert individualism and independence in their children, and a more laissez-faire approach is commonly applied throughout many Western families. Many European countries have even banned corporal punishment practices by law, including Sweden as early as 1979. The American Academy of Pediatrics has openly expressed their opposition towards spanking due to studies showing that higher use of corporal punishment led to more child aggression and anxiety. However, this doesn’t mean parents don’t discipline their children in Western countries; they simply use other means of discipline.

How does corporal punishment affect children?

The effect of corporal punishment has been found to be associated with more aggression and anxiety, but this correlation was strongest in countries where corporal punishment was the least normative. However, aggression and anxiety could also be associated with several other types of non-physical punishment. Expressing disappointment, giving time-outs, shaming, and corporal punishment were all discovered to relate to higher anxiety levels in children.

According to another survey, “Discipline is most likely to be effective when children perceive it to be fair and reasonable”. Spanking can indeed be an effective discipline practice for young children if used correctly. According to Robert Larzelere, a professor at Oklahoma State University, when used correctly, spanking actually leads to lower aggression compared to most other disciplinary practices. This type of spanking is called “backup spanking”, and it “involves two swats of an open hand to the rear end, and parents should affirm a love for the child afterwards”. According to these principles, parents should feel confident in using spanking, and use it in a controlled rather than a spontaneous manner.

Clearly, the topic of whether corporal punishment is acceptable, or effective is highly variable and depends on a range of cultural and social factors.

How do Beijing parents feel about corporal punishment?

We interviewed three parents from three different cultures about their opinions on corporal punishment. Here are their answers:

Would you consider spanking your child? If so, why and under what circumstances?

Parent 1 (Chinese): Yes, I have. When my child was small, I felt like he wouldn’t be hurt from me hitting him. He had so much meat on his body that he couldn’t have been seriously hurt.
Parent 2 (Indian): Yes, but very rarely. The circumstances are when no other disciplinary methods work and also under those circumstances when my child is willfully disobeying while being fully aware of the repercussions.
Parent 3 (Estonian): No, I wouldn’t consider spanking my child.

Were you spanked or hit by your parents when you were young?

Parent 1 (Chinese): My parents spanked me in the rear end when I was small.
Parent 2 (Indian): Yes, but no particular incident is registered in my mind (there are no ‘childhood scars’ of being spanked).
Parent 3 (Estonian): Yes, I have a couple of times.

Do you think spanking is an effective way to discipline a child?

Parent 1 (Chinese): It is of course not the most effective disciplinary practice.
Parent 2 (Indian): No. It is a way of disciplining but its effectiveness is questionable; the downside to it is that it gives a wrong impression of violence to the child (who may try to imitate in another situation/setting).
Parent 3 (Estonian): No, I don’t think spanking is an effective way to discipline my child. I think time outs and grounding your child is more effective.

How would you respond if your child hit you?

Parent 1 (Chinese): My initial reaction would be thinking that he/she is in a rebellious stage. My second reaction would be thinking that our parenting went wrong somewhere.
Parent 2 (Indian): I would dissuade my child from doing it and advise him/her appropriately (according to his/her age) to not do it to anybody under any circumstance. To dissuade a very young child (e.g. 2-4 years old), I would only be able to say “no”, while I would ask an older child (e.g. 6-7 years old) to empathize, put themselves in someone else’s shoes and understand how they would feel if someone else slapped them.
Parent 3 (Estonian): Of course depends on what age is the child. If a young child hits me then I would explain what he or she did wrong and what are the consequences. If a grown teenager hits you than he or she will have to be grounded and any privileges taken away.

How much has the norms and expectations of your culture affected your disciplinary practices?

Parent 1 (Chinese): China’s family culture values ​​are our family-style. A good family-style plays a key role in people’s growth and is their lifelong wealth. Under the influence of good family-style, young people will be influenced by their ears and eyes, shape their behaviors according to the content of good family-style, form good life habits, and achieve a better life. Be ethical, honest, and trustworthy. Morality is the foundation for a person to live in the world and the core of family-style, so family cultural values ​​are very important.
Parent 2 (Indian): My culture as such, especially the older generation, does not prohibit spanking. But my culture is not the primary motivator to spank my child or not.
Parent 3 (Estonian): I would say my culture definitely plays a part in how I behave therefore affecting my discipline practices.

Now, it’s time for you to have your say. We’ve prepared a WeChat Poll about corporal punishment which you can participate in anonymously. Scan the QR code below to take part! 

Images: Unsplash

Online learning programs have become increasingly popular since the “suspended class, ongoing learning” (停课不停学 tíngkè bù tíngxué) initiative, but XRS education (学而思), an online tutoring program based in Beijing, has recently got into trouble for displaying “vulgar videos, inciting puppy/early love among other issues”.

The Beijing Education Bureau has arranged negotiations with the company aiming to perfect the information security system, strengthen content examination, and to make individual companies take greater responsibility for the content they provide. After an official warning, the institution immediately removed the content deemed offensive and unhealthy.

XRS education isn’t the only company running into problems with the Beijing Education Bureau, homeschooling app BBG (步步高) has also been condemned for displaying what’s deemed as “adult content” while other online learning programs have been exposed to promoting video games.

Stronger supervision, “heavy fist” correction, and providing a “radiant” learning environment for adolescents were labeled as necessary steps by the Bureau towards a healthier online learning experience. Since “adolescents are still internally developing, they are easily prone to vulgar culture and harmful information, and the blind emulation of such practices could lead to harmful effects.” They also issued a dire warning: “If platforms aren’t disciplined, government agencies will interfere.”

KEEP READING: Chinese Children’s Sex Ed Book Criticized for Using the Words “Penis” and “Vagina”

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Jul 8 was World Allergy Day! While not something you would usually celebrate, this holiday brings light to allergy diseases and issues facing millions of people across the globe, and is an interesting opportunity to compare how allergies stack up here in China.

Different countries have varying rates of food sensitivity based on environmental and dietary factors. For example, in one food sensitivity study, 22% of German participants were food sensitive as opposed to 11% of Spanish participants.

In China, recent studies have shown both the prevalence of food allergies and allergy diseases has been increasing in children in recent decades, and the foods that commonly trigger allergic reactions and allergic diseases in China are quite different compared to Western countries.

A deadly killer in the west, peanut allergies are extremely rare in China and most Asian countries

Defining food allergies 

Food allergies (食物过敏 shíwù guòmǐn) are sometimes mistaken with food intolerance, food poisoning, and psychological barriers. Strictly speaking, however, food allergies evoke reactions from your immune system when it shouldn’t as opposed to food intolerances which are often digestive issues. Food allergies can range from mild to severe, and there are significant links between food allergies and genetics. It is generally ideal to visit a doctor for allergy tests if you think you have one. There are no cures for food allergies, so avoiding the allergen is the safest option.

The Big 8

The so-called ‘Big 8 Allergens’ are milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, and soya. These allergens account for 90% of all food allergies in the United States, and must be labelled on the packaging of processed foods in much of the west, including America, the EU, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

However, when it comes to peanut and shellfish allergies, the prevalence is almost reversed between China and the West:

Peanut allergies

The most common allergies out of these 8 are peanuts, which are largely responsible for the increasing rates of food allergies in developed countries. Peanut allergies have reportedly doubled in diagnoses from 1997 to 2003 in the United States. In China and most Asian countries however, peanut allergies are especially rare, which may be due to the fact that Asian children are more likely to be exposed to peanuts at a young age. If you have a peanut allergy in Beijing, you may have been warned about how often peanut oil is used in Chinese cooking, but studies have actually shown it is generally safe for those with peanut allergies to consume peanut oil. If you are unsure, check with an allergist. Learn more about dealing with peanut oil with a peanut allergy here.

Fancy a smoothie? Like in the west, diary allergies are more common among children than adults in China, however more adults are found to be lactose intolerant

Milk and Egg allergies

In a study conducted across Chinese schoolchildren, the most sensitive food allergens recorded were milk, egg, shrimp, wheat, and kiwi. Egg and milk proved to be common allergies for both Chinese and Western children, while one study indicated Asian children were even more sensitive to eggs. However, both milk and egg allergies are less common among older children and adults.

Shellfish and Fish

Shellfish and fish allergies, especially shrimp allergies, are the leading food allergen in many Asian countries and are most common among older children and adults. This could be a result of how integral seafood is to most Asian cuisines. The prevalence of shrimp allergies in Asia provides a stark contrast with the West, where seafood-related allergies are very uncommon.

Overall

It has been shown that developed countries typically have higher allergy rates compared to developing ones. This goes the same for food allergies. Data recorded from 2018 shows that US children have a 7.6% food allergy rate within a year, while children from Hong Kong have 2.8% food allergy rate.

Respiratory and Skin Allergies

Aside from the Big 8, other prevalence of common respiratory and skin allergies, often defined as allergic diseases continues to rise. Studies show that whereas the number of allergic diseases are stabilizing in Western countries, there has been an escalation in China within the last decade. Allergic diseases are also frequent among children; a WAO (World Allergy Organization) survey conducted across 1.2 billion children found 250 million (21%) with allergic diseases. Asthma, allergic rhinitis, and eczema are three of the most common allergy diseases among children.

Allergic Asthma

Asthma  (哮喘 xiāochuǎn) is a chronic condition that causes breathing difficulties. Allergic asthma occurs during an allergy season, or when someone is exposed to allergens such as pollen, pet dander, dust mites, air pollution, and so on. The dreaded catkin season every spring in Beijing triggers many allergic reactions including asthma.

Allergic Rhinitis/Hay Fever

Allergic Rhinitis (过敏性鼻炎 guòmǐn xìng bíyán), commonly known as Hay Fever is usually divided into seasonal and perennial rhinitis. Seasonal Allergic Rhinitis (季节性鼻炎 jìjié xìng bíyán) are allergy symptoms that accompany the change of seasons, while perennial rhinitis (常年性鼻炎 chángnián xìng bíyán) as the name suggests, lasts year-round. Allergens that stimulate Rhinitis commonly include grass pollen and dust mites. 80% of children with asthma also have allergic rhinitis, as having one allergic disease increases the likelihood of having other allergic diseases. You can find accessible treatment options here.

In China, seafood and shellfish allergies are extremely rare, which may be due to the prevalence of these foods in national cuisine

Allergic Eczema

Eczema (湿疹 shīzhěn) is a skin allergy which develops an itchy skin rash subsequent to contact with allergens. Common triggers involve nickel, perfume, dyes, latex, and cleaning products.

Explaining your food allergies in China

Having an allergy paired with a language barrier can be frustrating, and even downright dangerous. That’s why we included common and useful phrases in Chinese for dealing with situations concerning your allergy. We also recommend preparing some flash cards explaining your allergies, so you can easily show them to servers if necessary.

• 我对花生过敏。 Wǒ duì huāshēng guòmǐn. I’m allergic to peanuts.
• 这个菜有花生吗？ ​​​​​Zhège cài yǒu huāshēng ma? Does this dish have peanuts?
• 你们用花生油吗？ ​​​​​​Nǐmen yòng huāshēngyóu ma? Do you use peanut oil?
• 如果我吃到花生我会死，所以请不要用花生！Rúguǒ wǒ chī dào huāshēng wǒ huì sǐ, suǒyǐ qǐng bùyào yòng huāshēng! If I eat peanuts I will die, so please don’t use peanuts!
• 我对X严重过敏，请不要添加X wǒ duì X yánzhòng guòmǐnwo, qǐng bù yào tiānjiā X I have a serious allergy to X, please could you not add X.

KEEP READING: Three Local Organic Beijing Farms That Deliver Right to Your Door

Images: Uni You, Pexels

The results for the latest beijingkids Ayi Survey are in!

If you haven’t heard of hiring an ayi, you probably haven’t lived in Beijing long enough. Just about every Beijinger who has the means to hire an ayi would consider one because they can relieve you of grueling everyday responsibilities like pesky housework or even entertaining young children.

Yet for many foreigners (and locals, for that matter) the ayi industry is shrouded in mystery. What exactly does an ayi do? How much should you pay her? What are reasonable working hours?

In an effort to gain some clarity for Beijing families, every year, Tobal Loyola, an expat who works at the beijingkids parent company True Run Media, runs the ayi survey. He quizzes respondents about their ayi‘s work hours, pay rates, experience, responsibilities, and benefits. The first Ayi Survey was conducted in 2014, and in the years since, the industry has undergone subtle but evident changes such as higher pay rates and the growing popularity of part-time ayis.

Below are the results from the latest survey, which was conducted in October 2019. A diverse sample of 134 respondents took part in the survey, ranging from newbies to old Beijingers, living in almost every area of Beijing.

Full Time vs Part Time Ayis: Work hours

37% of respondents hire a full-time ayi, while 63% of respondents hire part-time ayis. The majority (42%) of respondents have their full-time ayis work 40-50 hours per week, so about 6-7 hours per day.

For part-time ayis, the numbers range from less than 10 hours to more than 40 hours per month.

Full Time vs Part Time Ayis: Pay

On average, pay rates have grown substantially in the past years. Keep in mind that different ayis with different amounts of professional experience won’t have matching salaries, so disparities in pay rates are completely normal.

Monthly salary ranges widely with the majority spanning from RMB 5,000 to RMB 7,000 RMB for full-time ayis.

On the contrary, most part-time ayis have hourly rates that range from RMB 30 to RMB 50.

Household Details

The majority of survey respondents live in households of either 3 or 4 people.

If you want a pet but not the responsibility that comes with it, you could consider hiring an ayi. Approximately 30% of respondents had pets for the ayi to care for, and many of those respondents own more than one pet.

Hiring and Experience

Most people in our survey (58%) found their ayi through a referral from friends, neighbors, or colleagues, while some were introduced to their ayis through WeChat and contacting online agencies.

Although most respondents have only had their current ayi for less than two years, the majority of their hired ayis have over six years of experience. Formal Domestic Training, First Aid, and English speaking skills aren’t considerations or priorities of most of the respondents, and most respondents don’t know if their ayis have had training and knowledge of first aid, while more than half of the respondents labelled their ayi’s English skills as nonexistent.

Tasks and Responsibilities

The most common responsibilities for ayis are housekeeping, cooking and preparing food, doing the laundry, receiving packages, ironing clothes, dealing with building management and workers.

When asked what they liked most about their ayis, the words that appeared repeatedly were “reliable”, “friendly”, “caring”, and “nice”.

Benefits

Aside from salary, many of our respondents give their ayis various benefits, including 13th-month pay (>60%), a bonus in the form of hongbao (>40%), paid vacation days (50%), paid sick days (38%), official national holidays off (77%), and even being paid when the family is away (70%.)

KEEP READING: What You Need to Know About Finding (and Keeping) an Ayi

Graphics by Michelle Zhang