Nature. We are surrounded by it. We are comforted by products that have this printed on it. We long for it from our cubicles and offices. Yet we often circumvent its obvious “nature,” because we don’t trust or cannot hear what our bodies are saying.

Pregnancy is one of these natural amazing tasks our bodies perform. I’ve been walking around with this little person developing in my belly feeling quite chuffed, like my husband and I did something stupendous. We did, but it’s something that most can do.

The odds of a sperm getting through to an egg, for example (Google it!), but it happens often. Against the odds, we continue to propagate.

Recently, I took part in a prenatal yoga teacher training, and as the most pregnant participant (31 weeks), I was blown away by the physiology of pregnancy and what my body had been doing and will be expected to do when it’s time to give birth.

Often, the birthing process is over-complicated, depending on our cultural beliefs, when the most realistic, holistic approach is allowing the body to naturally do its thing. The myths of pregnancy and childbirth are many, and are regarded as truths, which is weird, considering how common birth is.

A nursing trainer from Fuchan Women’s Hospital in Beijing came to speak with us at the training. She explained the current C-section rate in China’s 46 percent (WHO quotes Beijing at 51 percent). Up significantly from 1970 when it was 5 percent. C-section (paofu chan) in China is considered modern and practical (ta shi). How convenient that the family can choose through careful calculations of fengshui the right day for their baobao to be born. How omniscient to be able to transcend fate.

Likewise, the expecting mother is frightened by everyone’s mention of how painful childbirth is. The family is desperate to help her avoid it. Understandable; we don’t want our loved ones to suffer unnecessarily … but ouch, the word “c-section” really doesn’t really implicate “pain,” but as far as I’m concerned, slicing thru layers of CORE muscles and fascia does not sound like a walk in the park (unless it’s emergent).

In the eyes of Chinese culture, the choice of C-section means everybody wins; the hospital makes more money (2x the price of a vaginal birth), the doctor can schedule a time for the baby to be “born,” the woman gets a “pain-free” birth and the parents get their grandchild on a fortunately chosen day.

By interfering with what’s natural, the baby doesn’t get the vaginal “squeeze” which stimulates the baby’s meridians, lungs, head. The mother is cut right below her core chakra or dantian, which in Chinese medicine messes with the meridians, as well as makes movement very painful (we use our core muscles for A LOT). Depending on the age of the mother, instead of 30-40 days recovery from a natural birth, it can take up to a year to fully heal. Yowch.

It’s not much less in the US at 32 percent (2010). It is sited that physician liability is a main reason (lawsuit culture).

The good news is that Beijing/China is working on cutting their C-section rates down (yes, pun intended) through educating the huge population.

I just wish I could have taken that nursing educator home to visit my in-laws. She didn’t just speak about C-section, but hashed into many Chinese myths.

For example:

• Myth 1: You’re eating for 2. Truth: You are nourishing yourself, and your baby. Eat nutritiously.
• Myth 2: A fatter, bigger baby is better. Truth: The birth canal accommodates to a certain size. Fatter baby = difficult birth.
• Myth 3: Don’t do anything while you’re pregnant. Stop moving. Truth: Appropriate exercise and movement for a pregnant woman is good. By not moving at all, muscle emaciates, and birthing is more difficult.

Myths exist in any culture. After finishing the prenatal yoga training, I know the most important learning for anyone is self-awareness. It’s good to trust that your body really can handle it. Now, we have capable healthcare that can assist in case of emergency. The more tuned into yourself, the easier it is to question recommendations of others. I’ve found that during pregnancy, this is extremely important, as it comes in high frequency and often without invitation!

Photo courtesy of Jess Meider

In Chinese medicine, one month to 40 days after a woman gives birth is to be spent inside her house, cared for by her family. It’s her month to recuperate, replenish, and re-nourish (or buchong 补充). It’s a month of doing practically nothing but resting, breastfeeding, and bonding with her baby, who is also to remain indoors. It’s also recommended not to wash (especially hair) during this time.

“Horrific,” was my first thought after hearing this when I first came to China in 1997. I never questioned why. I was ignorant to Chinese medicine. “Haha,” we newbie foreigners laughed, “it’s to keep her from getting pregnant again so soon after giving birth.”

This reaction is completely normal to a Westerner, who is usually home from hospital within three days of giving birth, out and about within a week or two. (When I say “Westerner,” I’m mostly referring to America, where I come from; I’ve heard other cultures in Europe have different traditions for new mothers and infants.)

After experiencing Chinese medicine firsthand (profound healing), I’ve come to believe whole-heartedly in TCM and the five elements. It’s a natural theory based on the “whole” rather than just a “part.” The harmonization of physical, energetic, and mental bodies. The balance of yin (feminine) and yang (masculine).

A quick summarization of the cycle of the five elements:

Click here for a web elaboration contributed by my friend and teacher, Cameron Tukapua.

The five elements cycle, just like the seasons, controls and feeds itself. In our bodies, it manifests as our organs, which are connected physically and energetically by “meridians.” When one element becomes depleted or excessive, it causes imbalance in this cycle.

Easy concept to grasp: a balancing act. 

For example: If summer this year is extremely hot (excessive fire causes drought), it will affect late summer and autumn (result in bad harvest), which affects humans/animals/plant life, i.e. we starve through winter.

Simple. Balance is necessary to regulate good health in your life.

Back to this “monthly rest.”

When a baby is created in a woman’s body, life essence (jing 精) of both male and female makes this possible. (Fun fact: Jing means sperm, but also life essence.) Life essence is not replaceable. A person is born with a set amount of jing in his/her body, and lifestyle (how you spend/conserve your jing) affects the quality of your life (lifespan and state of health). Jing is sometimes referred to as “constitution.” Some of us have strong – and others weak constitutions – depending on what our parents pass on to us.

After pregnancy and giving birth, the mother’s body is super yin (feminine) and completely open: skin, tissue, muscle, ligaments, bones. The metamorphosis from pregnancy and birth is profound.

In this state of extreme yin or openness, a new mother is susceptible to imbalances at bone level; she needs time to tonify her essences with rest and warming foods. In TCM, she and baby must avoid “cold.” Therefore, no walking around with bare feet or damp hair, no eating cold or icy things, and no unnecessary exposure to outside wind. This is why baby and mother are “confined” to the home for a month. To contract something in such a susceptible state means it’s much more difficult to recuperate from it, because it’s not contracted on the “surface,” but deep in her bones. 

Some will think “that’s bull,” and go on doing things the way they want to do it. Chinese medicine thought is very different from Western medicine. TCM believes injury may not manifest itself immediately, but that the imbalance affects your body’s cycle, which slowly manifests itself over weeks, months, or even years, depending on your body’s constitution and your lifestyle.

For me, TCM makes sense. 

Oh, and in regards to not showering; back before hot water taps, indoor heating, and hairdryers, it was easier to allow a “chill” into the body. When the body is not strong enough to fight off a chill, the “cold” ensues, causing imbalance or disease in the system.

Our bodies are amazing. What we are capable of just blows my mind. As strong as we can be, we are also so very delicate. The precaution of staying inside for a month to rest after giving birth isn’t confining to me at all; it’s preventative. In fact, I’m grateful to have this knowledge and time to practice caring for myself in this way. I teach awareness in my yoga classes, asking students to listen closely to what their bodies are saying. So for me to be able to quietly retreat after such a stunning experience in exchange for more time on this earth with my family in a state of ease and good health is worth a month of surrender.

Jess Meider is a professional musician who has been living and performing in Beijing since 1997. She is also a yoga teacher and a private vocal “gongfu” coach. For more information, check out her website.

Photos: Christopher F. Photography (Flickr), Wikimedia Commons (five elements chart)

I was recently asked to write a column for this site. I’m guessing it’s the 15 years of living in Beijing that qualifies me; that, and  I’m married to a local, and I’m 6 months pregnant. Over the years, I’ve absorbed some Chinese culture. In my mind, all the good stuff (I admit, I do openly belch without thinking about it).

Now that I am about to have a child in China, I thought I’d share some of the many interesting subjects are presenting themselves.

Honestly, I’m not nervous about becoming a parent. But I’m already realizing that I sometimes feel challenged about surrendering to the Chinese culture, family and beliefs.

No matter what the culture, a parent already believes that they know best. In my case, this is very true. I also want to consider what my in-laws are suggesting (as well as everyone else) so I listen to their suggestions and sometimes forget that my husband and I are the parents of the often discussed “孙子” (sun zi) grandchild.

In Chinese society, everyone has their role. My PIL are the grandparents. In their minds, this means that they will raise their grandchild while my husband and I go to work. However, neither of us have office/day jobs. Yes, they will take and pick up the child to school, even though we are doubtful about Chinese schooling methods. They’ve also got plans to take our child on trips to other places, to relieve us of any stress. Unfortunately, there is a 矛盾 (mao dun) contradiction in this, because of the nature of our work (musicians). But, because this is how my husband was raised, by his grandparents, I assume that his parents feel it’s finally their turn to raise ours. My PIL are retired and very laidback; they don’t insist on living with us as many parents do, but they are very, very excited about raising their grandchild.

The most recent discussion is the 月嫂 (yue sao) – the monthly caretaker that my PIL have hired for the month that I’ll be staying in the house after the birth of their grandchild. For them, it’s a beautiful and suitable gift to the mother of their grandchild. I value the medicinal skills this “month-lady” will provide as I 补充 (bu chong) replenish my body after birthing. Yuesao is usually the role of the MIL, but they can also be hired. MIL tells us that this woman that we’ve never met will stay in our house for a whole month to take care of me and the baby. “Wait, what?” screeching halt in the conversation.

“She’s going to stay with us?” we both asked in unison.
“Yes, that way you can sleep well while she takes care of the baby,” MIL replies.

My head is filled with images of yue sao sneaking into our room late-night, stealthily grabbing my breast to insert into infant’s mouth while I sleep.

“Uh,” my husband and I look at each other.

“It’s because you won’t know what you’re doing with a new infant. This is our way of helping.” MIL says to ease our minds. I am stubborn and want to prove to my PIL that my upbringing prepared me. But, if I tell her I have child rearing experience, it won’t advocate her role as the Chinese grandmother. I remain silent, knowing it’ll work itself out naturally when the time comes. Everyone is coming to the table with loving intentions.

The common belief amongst all Chinese parents: our child doesn’t know what he/she is doing. In my mind, this seems to insult their child-raising techniques, as it sounds like their child is a complete idiot even as an adult. But this empowers their roles as parents. Often, the child (in adulthood) acquiesces without protest. I’m always floored by the amount a parent does for a child. In a restaurant, I’ll see a 5-6 year old sitting with hands at sides while parent holds cup for them to drink. But these are the common roles of the family, and must be played out for harmony to prevail in this society.

Only now have I begun to realize that I have to share my child with my Chinese and American family members. They will indeed want to influence their new family member in their own way.  Despite my fears, I am sure that we will find the balance of 和谐 (hexie) harmony in our roles.

The first harmonization: The yue sao will stay at PIL’s house in the evenings. 

Jess Meider is a professional musician who has been living and performing in Beijing since 1997.  She is also a yoga teacher and a private vocal ‘gongfu’ coach. She’ll be performing this Thursday, August 9th at Jianghu Bar. For more info check out www.jessmeider.com