There’s so much talk about self-care, loving yourself, loving everyone. This is a common theme that comes up in many of my coaching sessions, which many are trying to grapple with. I felt like I needed to dig deeper below the surface to understand what we were really asking for when we want self-love and care for ourselves.

What does it mean or even look like when we have love for ourselves?

This question brought me to face-to-face with the mirror, and I asked myself: “How do I really feel about me?” I noticed the emotions that came to life as I asked that question. I tried not to judge them. I let myself see them for what they were.

The first response I ever got was, “I don’t know. I feel indifferent.”  This made me wonder how I could say that I loved myself or that I need to care about myself, when I didn’t even know how I felt about myself.

Why didn’t I feel the rush of excitement that comes when being in the presence of a loved one?

These honest and very raw reflections got me curious on the path of self-love.

By working on “relationship building” with myself every single day, I’m finding myself slowly putting the pieces of myself together. Although these pieces will always be changing, I’m getting to know my real self all over again. I’m discovering versions that I never knew existed.

I’m slowly finding what it truly feels like to “come home” to yourself; feeling safe and comfortable with who you are, where you are and in your own skin and body. Your place in the world becomes clearer. You finally find the place you belong – to yourself. I know all this might look and sound quite vague and wishy-washy, but you have to feel it to experience it. Words cannot describe the depth of experience it brings.

Everything I was looking for externally, I found in me. I continue to find in me. This has been my experience with self-love so far.

While this may be just the start, I believe the potential it brings can be truly powerful, not just for ourselves but for the world around us. We each have a circle of influence around us that can benefit beautifully from this practice.

If this is something you are ready for, I’d love for you to join me in wandering down this road of together.  Check out details in the poster.

The Orchid Hotel
Nov 15 from 2pm – 4.30pm
Dec 6 from 2pm – 4.30pm
Jan 10 from 2pm – 4.30pm
Baochao Hutong No. 65, Dongcheng District

Photos: unsplash

As foreigners living in Beijing, we are all too familiar with the feeling of being uprooted from our countries of origin, navigating work and family life away from all that we used to know. We are living amongst cultures and constantly striving to find our place in the world.

As parents of kids growing up and living in a foreign culture, we have yet another big challenge – “How do we cultivate a sense of home for our kids?”

My family lives amongst four different cultures at the moment – French, Indian, Australian and Chinese. My 15-month-old daughter is a “Third Culture Bǎobǎo” born in Beijing. She is an Australian citizen, but has never set foot in her passport country yet. And so, this is one of the hottest topics on my mind these days, which I’m sure many of you ponder over too.

So who is a Third Culture Kid?

According to Tanya Crossman, a TCK expert and author of the book “Misunderstood”, the term “Third Culture Kid” refers to the three different types of cultures that a child is exposed to.

“First cultures are legal cultures – anywhere you have a passport of permanent residency,” Crossman says. “Second cultures are geographic cultures – anywhere you have spent a significant amount of time, or a heritage culture passed down by a parent. It’s quite common for a TCK to have no overlap between their first and second cultures – which brings me to the Third Culture. The Third Culture is not about where you are from, or where you have lived, but the shared experiences of having the first and second cultures that don’t entirely overlap. A TCK is anyone who grew up in this space, whose understanding of the world was shaped by living in between cultures.”

She also says: “Home is a concept that combines many things: nostalgia, childhood experiences, familiarity, comfort, security, family relationships, and more. I don’t think it’s essential to have a single place to call home, or a strictly geographical sense of belonging. But, I do think that on an emotional level we all need some sense of home and belonging, even if the pieces aren’t all found in the one place or community.”

I interviewed two fascinating people with diverse experiences and insights on the subject.

Through the eyes of Karina, an expat mom of three TCKs

Karina Pellegrin, a charming, genuine, and lively woman who raised a beautiful family of three TCKs (now adults) and has spent the last 40 years moving around the world, making various countries their “home” along the way. Her husband’s banking career gave them the opportunity to travel and live in many different countries such as Yemen, Thailand, Singapore, South Africa, Italy, and China. Her kids are now scattered across Milan, Hong Kong, and Beijing, and they always make it a point to come together and spend quality time together at least once a year.

What did you love most about living as an expat and raising TCKs?

I felt that my husband and myself were always made for living this way. I lost my dad at the age of two, and had to leave the city I was born in with my family at such an early age. We moved to Corsica and it was there that I met my Vietnam-born, French husband who was in a boarding school at the time. We always talked about never leaving France but when the opportunity came to explore the world, we took it with open arms.

I loved seeing my children grow up in environments where diversity was the norm. They had friends and classmates from all over the world, speaking different languages, looking and dressing differently. This was exciting for me to observe and experience. I believe this way of life made them “citizens of the world” with openness, adaptability and inclusion as their natural state.

What were the challenges you faced along the way?

It was sometimes hard for my children to fit into new schools and countries after a move,  especially in non-international environments. This was always painful for me to watch, and I always told them to “take care of the newcomers” wherever they went as a way to empathize with and cope with these painful experiences.

Another challenge for me was being okay with the fact that even though it is easy for them to fit in and live anywhere in the world, they remain foreigners in their (my) “home country” of France. I think this bothers me more than it does them.

Schooling was another challenging decision for us. We wanted them to speak both English and French fluently. We managed to enroll them in the International French school system wherever we could, which has a standard curriculum across the world. This helped give them a sense of consistency and continuity in their studies. All other extracurricular activities were in English.

One of my great achievements that made these challenges worthwhile was taking my granddaughter to the same French school that I took my daughter to in Hong Kong. It was such a wonderful feeling of life coming around full circle.

What is your advice for the current generation of families raising TCKs?

It’s important to remember that children can be quite conservative and don’t like change as much. We must find ways to give them consistency and familiarity, whether it is in the form of maintaining a home environment with the same decor, furniture; keeping family meal times together; communicating openly about a move and listening to their thoughts, feelings on family matters.

Remember that each child has their own unique personality, so find out what gives them a sense of security and safety and try to give it to them in a way that speaks to them. “Home” is creating that safe and secure family environment for them to feel good in.

Don’t label them as unique or exceptional. Even though they may be TCKs, this is natural for them. Enjoy the precious and unique moments with your family as much as possible.

Through the eyes of an adult TCK – Mia

Mia Livingston is an intriguing, warm, and engaging Swedish-born TCK with Swedish and Filipino parents. She grew up living in Sweden, Philippines, Indonesia, and Zimbabwe with her parents and two siblings, before leaving “home” at the age of 15.  Her parents were initially scientists, and her father worked two to three year contracts as a development economics consultant. Her mother worked as a genetics researcher. Even though their lifestyle was challenging at times, her parents managed to pass down their wanderlust to Mia and her siblings, and she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

She now lives in Beijing as part of her own TCK extended family with her American husband and four step-children (living in Canada), traveling around the world to connect with one another every few months. She shares her wealth of knowledge and experiences to the world through her work as a writer and psychology researcher, and her mission is to bring the world a little closer together.

What did you like about being a TCK growing up?

Traveling and moving to new countries was a huge, scary, and exciting adventure. My parents made the whole world our playground. There was so much to discover in different countries, while still feeling safe because my parents took care of all the practicalities.

Initially, I was always against a move – I think children are naturally risk and change-averse, but I’m very glad that my parents moved with me anyway.

Through all of our rich and unique experiences, my siblings, parents and I feel so much closer as a family. I attribute this to all the crazy shared experiences that nobody else will ever understand, like being evacuated by military planes from Cambodia, a hippo trying to take our house down in Zimbabwe, and little things like gorging ourselves on the mulberry tree in the garden.

We organize family get-togethers at least once a year somewhere in the world. Geographical distance is a non-issue for us and is never a reason that keeps us apart.

Where is “Home” for you?

My husband and I, both being TCKs, travel like crazy together. We don’t consider ourselves to have a single home country, and feel genuinely at home in various places. We’re starting to think about where we’ll retire one day and it feels good to be able to choose such things freely, not being tied down anywhere.

What could your parents have done better?

I worked much better with some school systems than others. I thrived in international, British and American school cultures much more than my Scandinavian one.

At one point, I had to live alone in Scandinavia because there was no high school where my parents decided to move. That was a really bad experience for me growing up, as I felt I was too young to leave home and live away from my family at age 15. I wish I had more say in the matter during that time.

It was always heartbreaking to leave countries where I had close friends. This isn’t always avoidable of course, but it helps if parents plan bigger chunks of time in places, staying long enough in one place so that their child can finish high school or middle school, and ensuring that the academic continuity stays the same between schools where possible.

As a child, I was also attached to my toys and keepsakes; these were among the few constants in my life. I felt that my parents didn’t always respect that and left many things behind. This was traumatizing for me. Parents should try to be patient with and listen to their child telling them what’s important in their world, and then they can work together to see how memories and feelings can be honored better.

What is your advice for parents raising TCKs today?

In my opinion, parents of TCKs need to sit down and think carefully about each of their children’s needs such as what school system might work best for them. Parents should tell their kids what’s going on in their plans and why, so that kids can understand the big picture better.

I would also add that parents may sometimes discount the value and meaning of children’s friendships, and children may suffer as a result. Parents should ask:

• How would you like to say goodbye (to your friends/ school/ this country)?

• Which friends do you value, and how might you stay in touch?

Perhaps the child can go back and visit old friends or their school, a year after leaving. That way, they can see that friends and memories are still alive. These days there are TCK support groups online, specialist TCK counsellors, and social media that can help with this too.

As parents, you can’t always create the perfect environment, but you can show them their feelings and concerns matter and that you care.

This article appeared in the beijingkids May 2019 Identity issue.
Photo: Courtesy of Mia Livingston and Karina Pellegrin

One of the major challenges we face in our world today is sustainability. The current ways in which we live have a detrimental impact on future generations and it’s time to step up and face this issue head-on.

But what does sustainable living even mean?

Although there may be different interpretations of these words, it essentially means living in a way that meets our basic needs for food, water, shelter, and resources without compromising or harming the environment or people around us.

Living in Beijing poses its own challenges for living sustainably. One of the biggest ones is the convenience and ease of having everything delivered to your doorstep, which makes things a little harder from a sustainability point of view. So how do we get around these issues and find a way to reduce our impact on the environment?

To get some ideas and insights on the matter, I interviewed two expat families who are putting in the hard yards and leading the way.

The Nicolier Family

Singaporean mom Junice recently moved to Beijing in November 2018 with her Swiss husband Vincent and two little boys, Kai En and Li En. Junice has worked as a sustainability consultant for around a decade and likes to maintain at home some basic principles she has learned through her work.

When did your family’s journey towards sustainability begin?
Sustainability has been at the top of our minds now for many years as I work in the field, but after having children it became even more important for my husband and me to impart our kids with values that were reflective of living sustainably.

We are all so aware of what’s going on in the world through the media, what we hear and see around us, it’s hard to ignore the facts. Our kids are privy to this information on a much greater scale than we used to be, and it’s important for them to understand what’s going on and how we can make a more positive impact.

Over the past five years, as our little family has grown, we’ve built a bit of momentum in our sustainability endeavor by following some basic principles such as these:
– Reduce our consumption. Every time we need to buy something, we ask ourselves “do I really need this?”  We also minimize food takeaways by cooking at home as much as possible.
– Refuse. Don’t accept plastic containers wherever possible. Take our own bags and containers when shopping. 
– Reuse. Find ways to re-purpose items instead of throwing them out. Get creative! We use our son’s drawings on paper as gift wrapping. It’s both personal for the gift recipient and a way to cut down on buying useless wrapping paper.

If we’re all able to manage the waste within our households better and more effectively, that’s a great step ahead for sustainability from the inside out.

What does a sustainable family look like to you?
To me, a family that is aware and in control of what they consume and how they manage their waste within their household and community is a sustainable family. Another big part of sustainability I’d like to talk about “Social Impact”. By this I mean, how do we care for and treat the people that serve us? For example, many of us have helpers like ayis and drivers, we’ve got kuaidi workers bringing us goods, taxi drivers, all those people that make our lives easier. How do we enable them to have better and sustainable livelihoods too?

We can start by paying them fairly, treating them with kindness and respect and appreciating them daily for all they do for us.

What daily challenges do you face? How do you try to overcome them?
One of the biggest challenges is not following the path of least resistance and succumbing to buying and throwing when you get caught up in everyday tasks, so setting some ground rules and structures in place really help. Apart from controlling our purchases, we track our expenses to see how much goes towards “stuff” that could be avoided. Saving money can be a great incentive towards a minimal lifestyle.

How do you communicate with your family about this?
As the primary caregiver in the family, I have a lot of influence over how we manage our lifestyle. For example, with my kids, I explain to them that before we get something new, we must give something away. They get to choose what to let go of, and this becomes a habit.

My husband has always been very conscious about living minimally and managing our waste, and it helps to have conversations regularly about better ways to do this as a family.

I try to get the family to keep one another accountable and get everyone involved one way or another. We even make a game out of it. For example, if I ask my son to do a daily count of how much waste we get rid of in the bin, with the goal being keeping the quantity low, he keeps everyone in check in regards to what really needs to go in the bin and what can be recycled or reused.

What would you say is a good starting point for families on their paths towards becoming more sustainable?
– Start Small- Start with cooking more, reducing and reusing plastics at home, and refusing to buy the things you don’t need.
– Get your family on board- Your kids will genuinely want to help and keep you in check if you explain to them what you are trying to do.
– Do your best wherever you can- With consistency you will build momentum and you will take the next step automatically when it’s time.
– Don’t get caught up in trends-  It’s good to use them as a starting point to change a habit, but focus more on the big picture of maintaining that habit rather than doing it for the sake of hype.
– Be mindful of what you buy from where.

Conclusion

Here’s something we can learn from them:

1. They faced the sustainability challenge head-on and continue to do so slowly and persistently. They speak up and talk about it with others, lead by example, and find creative ways of doing things differently.

2. They find ways to embrace the resources that are available to them for leading a sustainable lifestyle.

3. They give us a sense of reassurance that no matter where you are in the sustainable living spectrum, you can start small, learn along the way, and see how far it takes you.

When all is said and done, the biggest lesson of all was that sustainable living becomes incredibly real and hard to ignore when our own little ones come into the picture. What will the consequences of our actions be for their future on our planet?

This article first appeared in the beijingkids March 2019 Sustainability issue.
Photo: Courtesy of the Nicolier family

For all its joys, being a hands-on mom can be a relentless, exhausting, and sometimes even thankless role. You can go from moments of love and contentment to feeling like you’re stuck in a “Groundhog Day” scenario of ear-splitting cries and soiled nappies.

So it’s no surprise that more and more we are seeing mothers, both seasoned expats and recent arrivals, taking advantage of the industrious climate that exists here in Beijing and starting up unique businesses. They’re breaking free from the “trailing spouse” label that so often gets attached to moms who have had to give up their own careers for the sake of their husbands’ deployment in China and finding a sense of accomplishment and purpose in entrepreneurship.

We need a sense of progress to keep us feeling motivated and energized. It is important to look back, at the end of the day, week or year, think about what we’ve accomplished, and enjoy a sense of achievement at a job well done.

We talked to three Beijing moms about how they decided to take things to the next level by setting goals and building businesses for themselves, and how they balanced the conflicting demands of being a mom and an entrepreneur.

Polina Savelyeya-Gumbu
Creator, Piece of Cake

Polina Savelyeya-Gumbu came to China 11 years ago as a student to study the Chinese language, but ended up staying. She loves the opportunities and diversity that Beijing offers.

Savelyeya-Gumbu has a deep passion for creativity in the kitchen, and this had translated into her taking lessons at a pastry school to explore her love of baking. It so happened that she finished her baking course just before the arrival of her firstborn baby girl. After three months of caring for the baby, she decided to post her first advertisement for personalized cakes and desserts.

When we asked her what inspired her to start her business, she replied:

“I grew up in a family of businesswomen, and always saw hardworking women around me. I always loved desserts, the beauty of it, textures, and flavors. I saw people getting excited for cake and pastry, and I felt excited to make it myself. Don’t get me wrong, I rarely eat what I make, but the joy of people getting great dessert makes me happy and motivates me.”

In Savelyeya-Gumbu’s world, success is being able to do what you love, really really well.

We asked how she manages both her family and work life.

“I have a great husband who supported me from the beginning,” she said. “I always value his opinion on each cake or dessert I make. My now two-year-old daughter helps me make decorations. I learned to include my family into what I do. It lets us spend more quality time together.”

Gumbu also keeps herself accountable to her goals, with the help of a vision board and business plan. This helps her check in on a daily basis with where she’s going, and how much she has accomplished along the way. It’s a great visual motivational tool, she told us.

Savelyeya-Gumbu’s advice for wannabe Mompreneurs:

– Don’t let fear get the better of you. Yes, it’s hard to manage everything, but you’ve got this!
– Help your kids understand that what you do, is for them to get to know you better – your passions, strengths, and skills. It will inspire them … and they might even pitch in!
– Include your family in your work where possible, so that they’re sharing in its successes or failures alongside you.

Each mom we talked to found their own path, and for many, mothering and family management are challenge enough. However, if their stories have inspired you to reach out to that part of yourself that dreams those sometimes silent dreams, then be reassured that even the most successful women were exactly where you are now. Remember that everything is “figureoutable!” Work for what you love and try to make the process joyful.

As the poet Cleo Wade says: “The beauty of you is not where you are perfect. It’s where you are fearless.” Go forth and be brave, Mama!

This article appeared in the beijingkids November 2018 Beijing Makers issue
Photos: Courtesy of Polina Savelyeya-Gumbu

There are so many things to think about when you move to a new country, like looking for a place to live, a school for the kids, grocery stores to shop at, and so on, that we often forget to mentally prepare for the whirlwind of emotions we’re about to face. This is called “culture shock,” and it’s sometimes the biggest challenge for new arrivals in Beijing.

Culture shock is defined by the dictionary as “a feeling of anxiety, loneliness, and confusion that people sometimes experience when they first arrive in another country.” While this definition considers the negative, difficult emotions one might experience, it misses the transformational power that moving to a new place can bring. 

But what if we could call this grand upheaval “culture awe” instead?

Awe is a positive emotion that recent research has shown to help one feel more connected, increase altruism and even improve overall wellbeing. Dr. Dacher Keltner is a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of bestselling books about the science of happiness. He emphasizes the importance of experiencing awe, which he defines as “the sensation of being in the presence of something vast that simultaneously transcends one’s understanding of the world.”

So let’s explore the four stages of Culture Shock Awe to make your stay in the Jing a little more “awesome” and less “awful.”

Stage 1 & 2 -The Beijing Honeymoon, with a Side of Frustration 

The first stage of culture shock is often said to be the honeymoon period. 

Titi Hill, a counselor and psychotherapist at LIH Olivia’s Place says, “In my experience, people who come to Beijing often fall into one of two categories. There are those who want to come here for adventure, to explore a fascinating new culture and learn about China’s rich history, or to develop themselves professionally. Others may come because their partner is here, and so they arrive in Beijing somewhat reluctantly or with a degree of apprehension. The fundamental reason behind a person’s decision to make such a significant relocation can undoubtedly affect the mindset in which they respond to the challenges of adapting to life in Beijing. These challenges include day-to-day communication with the language barrier, adjusting to a new job, forming new relationships, and dealing with environmental factors, in addition to settling a family into a new culture away from their home country.”

As Shane, who’s been here two years, puts it: “I felt excited about moving to Beijing for the new opportunities, friends, and fresh beginnings.”

But not everyone has this feeling. Leora, an expat of five years, says: “Did I experience a honeymoon period? You mean like being super happy and excited about this place? No. That came after two years or so.”

For me personally, I was pregnant when I arrived here. Apart from taking care of the logistics, I realized what I needed most was to give myself substantial time and mental space to make the emotional transition to pregnancy, motherhood and family life in Beijing.

While a few said they enjoyed the excitement that moving to a new city brought, for many, a honeymoon phase barely existed. They jumped right into Stage Two: Frustration. 

Natalia, a trailing spouse, says, “I felt a complete rejection of the reality here, isolated, frustrated, angry and hopeless.” Tom, an English teacher, remembers being apprehensive about going out on his own because he couldn’t communicate with taxi drivers or shopkeepers. 

So if you’re not feeling great, be patient. Everyone’s been where you are now. Take heart and be kind to yourself.

Here’s what can help you create “Awesome” experiences during this stage:
• Be in observation mode rather than reaction mode. Remember that every feeling is temporary, and this too shall pass.
• If you do manage to have a honeymoon stage, that’s wonderful! Take time to savor the excitement, wonder, curiosity. Explore the city, meet people, and do the groundwork that will help make the city homely.
• Think about what brought you to Beijing – was it work opportunities, a partner, financial benefit? Reconnect with your purpose for being here daily.
• Feel grateful for what you have. One idea is to have a Gratitude Jar. Every day, write down on slips of paper three things you’re grateful for and put the slips in the jar. Observe how your mindset shifts.
• Self-care and compassion. Get those spa treatments and massages. Find a counselor or therapist to help you through this transition. It can work wonders just to acknowledge and talk about the issue.

Stage 3 – Adjustment 

In time you’ll begin to settle, as you start to adjust to the new environment. This means accepting that not everything can be perfect. As expat Yolan says: “Even though I’ve lived here for 4 years, I still have a love and hate relationship with China, but learning the language and making good friends helps a lot.” Andrea, a Life Coach, offers an interesting insight: “Acceptance can transform your life. If you are suffering, it is because you are rejecting something in your life. You need to understand what it is in order to move forward.”

David Blanco, a psychologist and psychotherapist based in Beijing says: “Expect that sometimes you will not feel fulfilled. You will go through different stages, some of excitement or curiosity, some of the tiredness, frustration and feeling homesick. To assimilate the differences and adapt to them calls for your patience and tolerance.”

Titi Hill adds: “Be honest with yourself about the realities of adapting to life here. When it comes to our feelings, we can experience life in either the comfort zone, stretch zone, or panic zone. In many cases, a move to China can force people very quickly into the panic zone where they can feel disorientated and unsure of what to do. Having the self-awareness to realize that you are out of your comfort zone is an essential starting point for making a smooth transition. Embrace the journey of living outside your comfort zone and celebrate your successes, no matter how small.”

For myself, only after learning Chinese for six months was I comfortable enough to get by speaking to locals, taxi drivers, shopkeepers, and even kuaidi (delivery) guys. I also joined many parenting and family WeChat groups which gave me incredible support. I started to feel more self-confident, and quietly proud of finding my way around life here.

Overall, many people we talked to said that social support, and learning Mandarin, made the greatest difference in accepting Beijing as their new home.

Here’s what you can do to create “Awe” in this stage:
• Connect with a like-minded community: colleagues, expat groups on WeChat, parenting and family groups, InterNations Beijing, or the International Newcomers’ Network. Find people who share your hobbies and interests. Being part of a community has many positive benefits for mental health. Not only do you feel less alone, it also provides a sense of belonging and social connectedness that research shows to be the most important predictor of well-being and happiness.
• Create a Chinese language goal for yourself. Goals help you to stay motivated and can be as small as just wanting to speak enough Mandarin to get by. There are many options available for learning languages, and apps such as Chinese Skill, Memrise, Skritter, and YouTube are incredible resources. Beijing has some excellent Chinese language schools for classroom-style learning, which is a great way to meet people too.

Stage 4 – Acceptance 

Marisa, after five years in the city, says: “It feels nice to just let go of fear, and go with the flow. Don’t try to live the same life you lived before. Let China introduce you to new ways of life. I’ve learned to be adaptable and flexible.”

For me, acceptance is something that comes and goes as one navigates deeper into a new lifestyle. It is the realization that you do not need to understand absolutely everything about how things work to thrive in a new environment. All you need is to draw on the resources that sustain you at that point in time. As you learn to accept the things that were once hard to digest, your mind and heart open a little wider.

David Blanco reflects: “Living in Beijing can become a very rich personal growth experience. It can take you out of your comfort zone and open the horizons of your mind. It can make you come face-to-face with the conditioning of your own culture, letting you know more about yourself. Foster the feeling that a part of you and a part of your life belongs here in Beijing. Be a good ambassador of your country and make Beijing a better place by cultivating a good state of mind. It helps to appreciate the many good things that living here offers. It helps to choose tolerance instead of being judgmental, and humbleness instead of arrogance. Being multicultural is enriching. Let Beijing have space in your heart and Beijing will make your time here very meaningful.”

It takes about a year for most people to feel like they’re just starting to master their environment. The great thing about this stage is that you’re now a different person from the one before. You have more confidence, strength, and knowledge to explore the opportunities that only Beijing can bring.

Many expats said China had given them the chance to venture into areas they wouldn’t have ever explored in their home countries. Maybe this is something you can try yourself.

You can start by asking yourself these awe-inspiring questions:
1. What do I absolutely love in life right now?
2. If I had to start all over again, what would my life look and feel like?
3. What opportunities could Beijing offer me towards my goal?
4. What is one action I could take to move towards the goal I envisioned?

Whatever stage you’re at, remember that everyone’s journey is different. You can feel like you’ve fully acclimatized one day, then that you’re back to square one the next. Give yourself time, don’t beat yourself up if you make mistakes, and use the support that’s out there. Soon you’ll be the one giving sage advice to newcomers!

If you’re looking for professional support in dealing with your transition, Titi Hill and David Blanco can help. Contact them here:

Titi Hill
8417 6878, contact@lih-oliviasplace.com

David Blanco Psychology Centre
8497 0781, davidblanco@qq.com 

This post appeared in the beijingkids October 2018 Mental Health issue.
Photo: Adobe Creative Cloud