I can say with complete honesty that my first few school tours were a complete waste of time. I treated most of them like playdates where I was more interested in meeting other parents and seeing all the cute toys in the classrooms than anything else. Why? Were the schools terrible? Not at all! They were beautiful international schools that offered a wide range of wonderful activities and curriculums, but the entire experience went right over my head because I was so caught up in the excitement of my baby being old enough to start visiting schools that I wasn’t paying much attention to anything other than the school’s hardware and taking cute photos of my kid in class.

It wasn’t until she started nursery and I was looking at new schools for her after she aged out that the tours became more useful. During Covid many schools had online tours, but now that Covid’s a thing of our past, it’s worth taking the trip to see a campus in person. It’s the job of every school’s marketing department to make them sound great, so you’ve got to see the place for yourself to get a feel for what you’re sending your kid into.

So, for first-time parents, here are a few tips for when you’re selecting your first school.

Should you take your child on the tour with you?  Most people say yes, and it’s recommended if your child is older. But from personal experience, seeing a school with my partner and daughter when she was super young was more distracting than anything else. One or both of us were constantly minding her, which left the other to half-listen to whatever the school was saying. Yes, it’s true that you should make sure that your child loves the environment, but let’s face it, international schools in Beijing are pretty much all excellent and when you’ve got a toddler selecting a first-time school, it’ll be hard for them to not love just about any school you choose. They’re going to be fascinated by the new environment, new friends, and teachers, and they’re going to cry and not want to go in the beginning. When they’re that young, you need to be the decision maker, not them. Keep at least the first visit to just the adults. You can focus on what the school staff is saying, check out everything you want to see, ask as many questions as you want, and make informed decisions. Schools are welcoming. If you’re serious about sending your child there after your visit, chances are they’ll let you bring your kid back for a visit at a later date.

Do you need to meet the teachers? If you’re offered the chance go ahead and say hi, but don’t be alarmed if you don’t. Sometimes tours take place during teachers’ off time and they’re just not there. It doesn’t mean the school’s hiding them on purpose. Each school is different and the turnover rate for teachers varies, so even if you meet the current teacher for your kid’s upcoming grade level, that doesn’t mean they’re going to be there next school year. Pay attention to the school’s curriculum and philosophy and ask about how the school takes care of its teachers. Do they provide training throughout the year? We all benefit from refresher courses on how to best do our jobs.

What do the professionals have to say on the matter? We asked three educators whose job it is to organize open days and introduce their school to the community.

What advice would you give parents to help them make the most out of a school open house?

“To make the most of a school open house for admission, parents should research the school beforehand, including its curriculum and values. Prepare questions to ask during the event, attend information sessions, and tour the facilities. Follow up with a thank-you note and ensure that the school aligns with their child’s educational goals and values.” – Patrick Maher, Head of Admissions and Marketing at Canadian International School of Beijing

“Attending an open day can be an overwhelming experience. At BSB, we’ll do our best to ensure you leave with a clear picture of our school so you can make an informed decision. Choosing a school for your child is one of the biggest decisions you can make, so here are some top tips to get the most out of your open day experience.

1. Prepare beforehand. Make a list of the things that are most important to you and your family, such as the school’s curriculum, teaching methods, extracurricular activities, and facilities. You may also want to think about your child’s individual needs and interests. This will help you to focus your questions and observations on the open day.

2. Attend the principal’s talk. At BSB, we always introduce you to the principal at the start of the event. This is a great opportunity to learn more about the school’s vision and values.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. No question is too small or silly. The staff at the open day are there to help you learn as much as you can about the school.”

– Robert Warman, Admissions Manager at The British School of Beijing (BSB) Shunyi

“One piece of advice for families is to do some research on the school before joining an open house. School websites have a wealth of information that will give you a good feel for the kind of school you are visiting and help spark questions that will better inform your decision on the best school for your family.”

– Irina Mach, Director of Marketing Communications and Admission at Western Academy of Beijing

Images: Courtesy of schools

You made It! For an entire year, you and your partner kept your child alive and managed to keep your own sanity. You threw a big first birthday party, are looking at preschools, and think you finally have this whole parenting thing down. Then something odd happens.

Your sweet little cuddle bundle is suddenly moody, aggressive, and defiant for no apparent reason. It’s not all the time. In fact, at least half the day is a joy. They are learning to do more physically, their vocabulary is increasing, and they are so wonderfully curious about everything! But one minute they are happily laughing and playing with you, and the next they are screaming and throwing the cup of water they just asked you for across the room. No, your child is not possessed! You have arrived at the terrible twos.

Most kids go through this phase at least once between the ages of 1.5 and four. And there are several good developmental reasons for it. First, your little one is trying to learn to be independent. So they are testing boundaries and trying to see what they can and cannot do both physically and socially. That can be incredibly frustrating and exhausting for them (and you) because it means they are constantly trying and failing at things. Secondly, there is a communication barrier. Toddlers are feeling and thinking a lot of things, but they don’t yet have the ability to tell others their experiences and needs. And finally, they don’t understand that their experiences and needs may not be the same as those of others. They assume that you know what they want and are not giving it to them on purpose.

So how do you deal with this incredibly important but very difficult phase? As with most things involving kids, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. But there are a few things you can do to make it easier on both of you.

Let’s start with limiting the tantrums by intervening before they start. Here are a few tools that might be helpful.

Ask Questions: Your child is trying to communicate with you, so when you see a tantrum about to set in and you don’t know why ask, “I don’t understand, can you tell me/show me what you want?”

Create a Shorthand: Especially for the much younger side of the age group, who are not particularly verbal, physical cues can be helpful while they are mastering spoken language. Figure out a signal or single word for basic things like “I want,” “please,” “thank you,” “I can do it myself,” “help me,” etc. Some children do very well with sign language until they are able to speak.

Redirecting With Limited Choices: Remember what we said about independence and boundary-pushing? That’s doesn’t mean your child is capable of making good choices. Giving your child limited options allows for the independence they need and the structure that keeps them safe. For example, rather than saying, “Sit down please,” and being met with a defiant no, you can phrase it as “Do you want to sit in the blue chair or the red chair?” You have set the boundaries because they are going to sit, but they have some control over where they sit. It’s not foolproof but it’s shocking how often this works with even the most stubborn children.

Schedules: This phase is exhausting for both of you. Your child’s brain and body are developing at lightning speed and they need more sleep and food than you think. So work that into your daily schedule. A well-rested and well-fed toddler is more likely to be (slightly) more reasonable and less prone to meltdowns, and caregivers who have a few hours of downtime during naps are more likely to be able to help navigate and support their little one during their waking hours. Getting on a schedule will also make the transition to school easier when that time comes.

But even if you are superwoman, Mary Poppins, and Mr. Rogers all rolled into one, there are going to be meltdowns. Often public ones.

Stay Calm: Breath in, breath out, and speak in an even, controlled voice. You getting upset is only going to add fuel to the fire. Your child doesn’t understand what is happening to them and needs you to talk them through it.

Acknowledge feelings: Start by identifying what they are feeling. “I see you are angry and that’s okay. Can you tell me/show me why?” For older children, ask them to identify the feeling: “I want to help you but I need to understand what you need. Can you tell me what is wrong?”

Ride the Wave: Often your child is too far gone to talk, what I oh-so-technically refer to as being “all torqued up.” Give them time to calm down, but don’t give in to the negative behavior. Stay close to them so they know you are available when they are ready to communicate. But do not acknowledge the screaming or flailing. The second they calm down and approach for a hug or voice an emotion (“I am angry/sad/hurt.”) acknowledge it, provide comfort, and give positive reinforcement for their communication.

Change Locations: If something in the environment was overwhelming or triggered the tantrum, take them to a calmer place. This is especially necessary if they are hitting or getting physically aggressive. They need to understand that feelings are okay but actions have consequences, and when we hit we cannot be around our friends. This sort of behavior often happens in play spaces or shopping areas where there is a lot of stimulation. Moving to a room with very little light, noise, or tech, or even going outside to a natural environment, can be calming and help your child process their emotions.

Offer Options and Make Them Ask: Once the crying and screaming have passed, set a new script. Identify what they want. Give them choices that are appropriate, and make them ask for what they would like. Then respond to the needs they stated. For example: “I understand you want ice cream now but we only eat ice cream for dessert. Would you like to get ice cream for us to have after dinner?” Get a “yes, please” or “no, thank you” response. If they answer affirmatively, give them a choice: “Great. Would you like chocolate or vanilla?”

Set Boundaries and Be Consistent: I know it is exhausting, but if you give in and let them have ice cream for dinner because they threw a tantrum, then what they learned is “If I yell enough I get what I want.” But if you hold your ground, they will try something else next time. This is why giving them the communication options above is so important.  Toddlers are smart and objective-oriented. A big part of this developmental phase is them figuring out the best way to get needs and wants met, and they will continue the actions that get them results. So, if tantrums get results, they will throw more tantrums. The same holds true with talking and negotiating.

None of these will work all the time. Some of them won’t work for you at all, while others will feel like a magic bullet. Every toddler is unique and evolving, so be patient and try different things. My last reminder is to take time to recharge. If you are at the end of your rope, ask for help. Tag out with your ayi or partner. Ask a friend to watch the kids for an hour so you can read a book or get a manicure, and make sure you return the favor at a later date. You need to care for yourself so that you can care for your child.

Images: Canva

KEEP READING: Early Education Center Scams: What Are the Red Flags?

“Your child will be way behind if you don’t sign up for this class! Don’t you want your baby to have the best chance of success?”

It’s a scare tactic parents have heard many times from play gyms and early education centers, however, it should be a warning sign to any prospective parent. Recently, some friends of mine took their child to an early education center here in Beijing and had these phrases hurled at them by members of the sales team. They didn’t love the class but were concerned they could be hurting their child if they didn’t sign up for something like it. They asked for my input.

Full disclosure: I spent many years as an early childhood educator, running programs, writing curricula, and training educators on best practices and pedagogy for our youngest community members. I was and still am a firm believer in the power of excellent educational experiences in the first five years of life. I believe categorically, and the science backs it up, that play-based early education can and does do magnificent things for the developing brain and can be a foundational map for a child’s happy, healthy life long educational journey. Unfortunately, excellent programs taught by well-informed, well-trained educators are few and far between. But they do exist.

Let’s start by talking about what early education can and can’t do. Allow me to geek out for a second and talk about what we know about the science of the developing brain.

90 percent of your child’s brain will develop by age 5 and 80 percent of that will happen before the age of 3. As their brain is growing, they are making neurological connections called synapses. Any of these connections that get used regularly by your child in the first years of life will become a permanent part of their brain’s information highway, while any that don’t get used regularly will be lost. Your child’s brain will form these connections naturally when exposed to stimuli. These connections will have a profound effect on a child’s ongoing cognitive, physical, and socio-emotional health throughout their life. What early education programs can and should do is provide a rich, guided environment to encourage and build those connections while strengthening them through fun and thoughtful repetition.

Here are a few things to look for that can signal the difference between an exceptional program that will be an enriching first learning experience and one that just wants your money.

Structured but not rigid: A great class is exactly that – a class. There should be a curriculum. It should have a clear opening, followed by a skill-building/themed middle, and a structured ritual closing. There should be some exploration or free choice time built into the course, but there should be skill-building games and stations for the students to work on during that time and the educator in the room should be guiding you and your child in making the most of it. Most importantly, every activity should have a purpose.

Red flags: If it’s all free play or it seems to be mostly fun, cute things to entertain the kids but there’s no real focus you should be concerned. Free play is important but frankly, you don’t need to pay for it, it’s free in more than one sense of the word.

Well-trained staff: This does not necessarily mean a degree in education. Some of the best teachers I have ever worked with are artists, singers, actors, and other creatives who are exceptional at being engaging, delivering information, and managing a classroom. In short, they were natural teachers. But I always made sure they had a firm foundation in early childhood theory and practice, and that they understood the reasons and goals behind each activity. Simply put, they should be knowledgeable. The best way to find that out? Ask questions about why they are doing something in a class, or more specifically, what skills an activity builds. Remember above when we said every activity should have a purpose? The educators should know what that is.

Red flags: If the teacher seems like a fun babysitter but doesn’t have a good answer when you ask, “So what is the purpose of playing with XYZ for a child’s development?” Hint: Even stuff that looks like it’s just fun such as bubbles and parachute time, is actually a treasure trove of early developmental tools. They should be able to articulate what those tools are.

Educating parents, not kids: Remember how I said your child will form these neural connections naturally? That means the educator’s job is to create the environment, provide the stimulus, and let nature do its thing. The vast majority of my time in classes was spent educating parents and keeping them from stopping the learning by rushing in to “help” their child “fix” a “problem.” Your teacher should be dropping educational one-liners on you constantly during a 45-minute class time. For example? “Grown-ups, I know peek-a-boo seems like innocuous fun but it’s actually incredibly important for helping your little one develop object permeance. That’s going to be important when you drop them off at school, when they are learning to share, and even putting toys away!”

Red flags:  If the teacher rarely addresses the parents and doesn’t use developmental terminology when they do, they may not be as well trained as you would like.

Built for kids, not parents: Children this age have very specific needs. But too often I see classrooms built to impress parents with fancy pieces of massive equipment and murals on the wall. The room should be relatively small – remember, the students are small so a big space can be overwhelming – and child-friendly with limited art or distractions on the wall so that the child can focus on the activity in front of them. Equipment should be clean, well-cared for, and designed for this age group. Not retrofitted from programs for older students. The props should also be thoughtful. For example, clean-up buckets should have clear sides so the kids can see the toys when they put them away. Remember the object permeance above? If they can’t see the toys they think they are gone forever and are less likely to let them go. Again, everything has a purpose in early education.

Red flag: Playspaces are awesome and should be a bonus to the class but they are not classrooms in and of themselves. If the biggest selling point is a multi-story, super fancy, free play space with a candy-filled ball pit and live unicorn pony rides, they are probably not investing in classroom content. Nothing wrong with these things – I love a good fun zone – but don’t pay education prices for an indoor playground.

The owner’s background and experience: This is especially important if it is a franchise. Some people start programs because they are passionate about early education and helping kids and families. Some people start programs because they think it is an easy way to make money. The owners/directors should be experienced educators and administrators. Ask about their background.

Red flag: If the owners don’t have any educational background. Often these places are “retirement” jobs for those who used to work in business or sales.

You get what you pay for: These spaces have very high overhead costs. Excellent educators need to be paid well, developing a good curriculum and keeping up to date with the latest in early educational practices cost money. Likewise, keeping a space clean and maintained, not to mention rent, utilities and supplies are expensive. The margins are very small. By far the biggest budget line item is the recurring payroll. The easiest way to improve the bottom line? Hire less experienced or unqualified teachers with big personalities and hope parents don’t notice.

Red flag: The facilities are beautiful and exciting but the cost of the program is middle of the road or low-end. They are not investing in teachers and curriculum, they are investing in facilities.

Again, great early childhood programs are priceless and well worth the investment. But too many bad actors are dressing up a poor curriculum and untrained staff, then hooking parents with scare tactics. Make sure you get what you are paying for.

KEEP READING: Must-Have 24-Hour Children’s Emergency Phone Numbers

Images: Canva

I recently came across this article that was published back in March of 2021 when we were deep into the online learning process. As the education world takes a short detour back into the land of e-learning, the article felt relevant and worth reposting. So often we want our children to get it “right” − to be successful and to never know the sinking sensation that comes with being incorrect or not knowing the answer. But in pushing for perfection we unwittingly rob our children of valuable learning opportunities. According to the Wall Street Journal, creativity and critical thinking are two of the “soft skills” most sought by employers, and they are skills that are learned through trial and error. Here is why you short-change your kids when you don’t allow them to fail.

Recently, a friend shared with me that during remote learning her preschool-aged son had to prepare a project for the online portion of the class. When all of his fellow students presented their projects he was embarrassed because most of the other offerings were perfect … a little too perfect. In fact, it was pretty obvious parents had “helped” their kids make their projects. This is not the first time I have heard a story like this. Over and over again my fellow educators share stories of parents doing a child’s work or blatantly feeding them answers during live classes. I know it’s well-meaning on the part of these adults − everyone wants their kid to succeed! But, as an educator, I’m begging and pleading parents to stop!

I’m about to get on a soapbox labeled “Process, Not Product.” Here is why this concept is important. For kids, especially young kids, school should not be about finding the correct answer. It should be about learning how to find the correct answer. It’s all about the process of trying something, getting a less than satisfactory product, and then trying something different. The “mistakes” are literally where the learning happens. Here are three things your child gains by doing things on their own, even if they have to struggle a little bit.

Creativity: Creativity can never develop if you are overly concerned with the end result or with “getting it right.” Can you imagine if Picasso’s mom had said, “The nose doesn’t go there”? Sometimes the strange stuff is the good stuff! So it doesn’t matter whether your child’s snowman looks like a snowman or like a puddle of white paint with ten eyes. It’s their snowman … and it’s great!

Problem Solving: Tenacity is a vital part of solving problems. Thomas Edison famously had over 2,000 designs for a light bulb that failed, and he burned through a small fortune creating them before he developed one that worked and made him a wealthy legend. The stakes are significantly lower for your first-grader, but the benefits of learning through trial and error are priceless. Letting your child try different things until they get a result they are happy with will serve them well in all their future endeavors.

Confidence: Confidence is a byproduct of hard-earned success … as well as failure.  Confident people walk into every situation knowing that no matter the circumstances, they can figure something out. No one hands them the right answers, and they get things wrong as often as not. But the important thing is they learn from their experience and do better next time.

Let me be clear: Valuing process over product doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help your child. They need you to encourage them, to point out holes in their logic, and to tell them you believe in them as you dust them off after they fall. But helping means guiding them, not doing something for them. When you are the coach and cheerleader to their quarterback you are giving them the ability to do the hard work of skill-building, self-evaluation, and learning from their missteps. Let them be proud of the work they did, and then help them confidently say, “Next time I will do even better!”

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Images: Canva

Test prep, test prep, test prep. It’s been drilled into the minds of students and parents since 1935 when Harvard required SAT scores to be included in its admission package. But in recent years many schools like George Washington University, Sarah Lawrence, and NYU have become “test-optional” or “test flexible,” meaning you are not required to send in SAT or ACT scores. Moreover, several universities including UC Berkley and my own alma matter CUA have become “test blind,” and they won’t even consider test scores in their application process.

While many students are breathing a sigh of relief, it begs the question: What should students be focusing on as they prepare for the college application process. I reached out to Hamilton Gregg, a college advisor at Harrow Beijing and senior consultant at Shang Nancy Friends with more than 30 years of experience in admissions, to find out more about this shifting landscape.

Aside from the obvious – a solid academic foundation – he stressed the importance of so-called soft skills like leadership, adaptability, communication, presentation, problem-solving, and work ethic. “But it is not just talking about those skills, it is understanding what led to the development of those skills,” says Gregg. “Sports, clubs, charity, service, etc… students doing meaningful work in these areas and learning about themselves and how they contribute by engaging in them.”

Those clubs, sports, and service projects have come to be known as a student’s portfolio. And in academic circles, it’s the new buzzword and possibly the most important part of their application next to their grades. That is because every candidate to a top-tier school has excellent grades. Your transcript will get you considered but your portfolio is what will set you apart from the rest of the field.

So what makes a great portfolio? Gregg says it largely depends on “Understanding who they are as a person. What makes them tick, what doesn’t? What do they enjoy doing? Where have they failed or been challenged and what did they learn from that experience? How did they engage in teamwork, collaboration and what did they learn from that experience?” That’s a tall order for most kids. I know plenty of adults who still struggle to define who they are, but that’s what your childhood is for – discovering what you are passionate about and what you want to become an expert in.

That means starting early. A balanced childhood filled with trying lots of different things and asking your child, what did you like about that? What did you not care for? What did you learn? And slowly discarding those activities that don’t bring them joy or spark curiosity and engagement. By the time they get to high school they should have a handful of activities they are passionate about and devoted to outside the classroom. Gregg had three specific guidelines he recommends.

1. “A student should not do any activity because they think it will get them into university. They should be genuinely interested in what they are doing and reflecting on why as well as what have they learned.
2. “Quality over quantity. It is not about how many things a student has engaged in, but the quality of their engagement.
3. “There is no right activity, nor is there a right amount of things a student should be doing. However, a student should be more than just an in-class student focusing on their academic achievement…Education happens everywhere, all the time. Many times, it is not in the classroom, but on the sports field, the adventure trek, the community service project…”

This brings us to community service. Many high schools require it and it is a learning opportunity, but the debate rages over whether mandating good works nullifies the benefits. Gregg weighed in on this as well. “Should they? Absolutely! But if they do, they should do more than just give money, which seems to be the translation of community service. Community service is actually being of service, giving back to the community and actively participating and helping others less fortunate.”

Over and over again Gregg’s theme was quality over quantity and the ability to learn from failures as well as successes. It sounds an awful lot to me like what colleges are looking for are healthy, happy, unique young adults who are eager to learn and contribute to society.

“One thing that is important is that there is no formula for getting into university, especially top universities. One of the downfalls of high-stake admissions is that people – students and parents believe there is this formula they need to follow,” says Gregg. “They look at other successful students and think ‘hey, we need to do that to get in.’ Totally wrong assumption. Students need to understand they are unique individuals and honor and respect their uniqueness. Life is not about a test, or just doing for the focus of getting into university, it is about learning life-long skills, character skills, that will help students manage and cope through life. They may come from their education, they may come from activities, or conversations that lead to something new and exciting. My point is, don’t be a sheep following what others are doing. Break out and be yourself and then truly know who you are and what got you to that point of understanding.”

My takeaway? In the early years, expose your child to soccer and debate and music and art and design and science and any other opportunities that pop up. Brush them off and help them learn from their failures and cheer on their successes. See what lights them up and then help them focus on that in high school. Let’s not replace testing anxiety with portfolio pressure. Instead of pushing our kids to “get it right” let’s help them discover what’s right for them. The rest will take care of its self.

KEEP READING: What’s In Your Bag? With Tina Makuku, Mom, and Founder of Chariots Handmaydz

Images: Unsplash

“I’m so frustrated! My son is active and creative, he loves to pretend but he refuses to sign up for or participate in any extracurricular activities. I know how important they are for his social and emotional development but I don’t want him to be miserable in group activities either. How hard should I push him on this?” – Frustrated Mama

There is a lot to unpack here. Let’s start with the worst-case but relatively rare scenario: If your little one is not social at all and has few friends or never wants to interact with others it could be the start of an issue. True anti-social behavior needs to be addressed. If you are noticing social anxiety or depression then contact a specialist, as therapy might be needed. However, as I said, this is rare.

It is far more likely he is just an introvert. That doesn’t mean your child doesn’t like other people, most introverts have a social circle and friends, they just don’t like large groups and have to “recharge” with alone time. If that’s the case then choosing smaller groups that are less overwhelming might help.

Next, skew towards their interests. Start the process by identifying things your child loves. You mentioned creative play, so theatre classes might be a good option. If he is active, then present a few different sports like football or swimming. Then let him choose one. Don’t give them an option to say no by asking “Do you want to do ____?” Instead, offer limited options and insist he picks something. Say “Lego camp, theatre, or swimming. Which of these do you choose?” With your child and others like him, I would not recommend pushing him to do more than one and applaud whatever choice he makes. Show sincere excitement and begin laying a positive foundation for when the activity begins.

There is another option. Is your child social in non-structured settings like a playground or birthday party? If he is getting social interaction and has friends but just doesn’t vibe with the inherent structure of a class or team sport, it might not be a big deal (and frankly could save you some money). It could be a phase he will outgrow, or as he and his friends get older and start joining teams, he may feel motivated to join in the fun instead of being left out. If he is happy doing his own thing right now but still gets along with others, simply leave it be.

As always, just my opinion.

KEEP READING: What’s In Your Bag? With Drama And Yoga Teacher Hannah Northcott

Images: Unsplash

As we reported last week, the Ministry of Education has reformed testing rules for China’s students in general and outright banned paper and pen testing for students in second grade and below, raising an important question: What does testing really tell us about what our students know and how much of that knowledge they will retain?

Bottom line, the purpose of a test is to find out if our students are absorbing information. However, over the years, testing has taken on an entirely new set of values and is held up as the answer to a range of educational issues. Teachers are evaluated and ranked on how well their students do on a single exam, students are pressured to within an inch of their sanity because they’ve been convinced that an exam will change the course of their lives, and parents are railroaded into spending small fortunes on test prep that may or may not have any effect on the outcome at all.

This means teachers are relegated to teaching solely towards the test, students are worried more about memorizing correct answers than understanding materials or processes, and parents are putting their family’s financial well-being in jeopardy.

The worst part is, testing tells us very, very little about a child’s knowledge base and is even less of a predictor of future success. So much so that many top-tier universities have stopped requiring things like the ACT/SAT exams and many – including the prestigious University of California network – have stopped considering scores altogether.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-testing. It can certainly be an element of evaluating a child’s educational journey, but it is not the complete picture and far too much importance has been placed on it as the sole marker of achievement. This is part of the toxic education culture I have written about many times before.

Instead, it is my opinion that we should be encouraging students to find as many avenues as possible to express their knowledge and their understanding of subjects. The truth is every student has skills that come more easily than others, and those skills are the ones they should be leaning into. One child may test well, while another is a brilliant writer and still, another may shine when giving a spoken presentation or completing a complex long-term project. Those skills are the ones that will make them desirable to universities, employers, and communities in the future.

I’m glad the system is working to break down these antiquated structures but I also want us to guard against replacing one false idol with another. Placing too much emphasis on any one skill is dangerous for our kids and our society at large. For example, too much emphasis on written papers could result in valuing research over application while over-emphasizing presentation could lean into the myth that extroversion is better than introversion. Stress about portfolio projects as a sole indication of achievement could be seen to skew away from academics and towards construction or entrepreneurship. All of these elements are good and healthy when balanced within a curriculum, but much like nutrition, too much or too little of any one ingredient results in emaciated or obese intellects. All I’m saying is, let’s try and give our kids a well-balanced educational diet.

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Images: Unsplash

I love the week before the kids come back to school! It’s a highly energetic, productive, and creative time as we get organized, rethink projects, refine lesson plans, and design our classrooms. 

Being an expat teacher often means we have access to some really fun and interesting local teaching tools, but it can also be difficult to find the more familiar tools and products we loved back in our home country. Many of us used to use trips home to stock up on our favorite art supplies and classroom materials but this year we all need to make do with what we can source locally. Here are a few places to find your favorites right here in Beijing:

Taobao: This one feels obvious, but it can be hard to know where to go and what to type into the search tool to find good quality and decent prices. I polled a few Taobao Queens, and have listed their top shops for specifically hard-to-find items below. 

Item: Classroom Boards
Taobao Store: yueling8

This is where my creative teachers shine! A great bulletin board makes your classroom feel personal and welcoming. This store carries bulletin board paper, cellophane sheets, and borders, among many other classroom supplies that aren’t always easy to find!

Item: Bean Bag Chairs and Reading Cushions
Taobao Store: 虹彩汇生活馆 

I love a book nook. I think encouraging children to view reading as a fun, cozy activity is vital to lifelong learning, so sprucing up a corner of the room with a place to cuddle up in with a book is super important. Bean bag chairs at this shop are as inexpensive as RMB 42, so you won’t mind if you only get a year or two of use out of them.

Item: Story and Picture Books
Taobao Store: 小时光图书店 

Getting good-quality English picture books and early readers for your classroom library can get expensive fast. This particular Taobao store has hundreds of titles, including books by Eric Carle and Dr. Seuss, as well as a good selection of Caldecott Medal winners at reasonable prices.

Teacher’s House Shop: This is a WeChat resource that was recently recommended to me. They have everything from classroom materials to games and books and organizational solutions at reasonable prices. Bonus: The whole site is in English, which makes it easier for those of us still struggling with Mandarin.

Teacher2Teacher: This is an online marketplace for teachers to buy and sell lesson plans and class materials, and it is a rich resource for printables and instructions on making great class activities and decorations.

Website: www.teacher2teacher.education

Buy and Sell Groups: A lot of teachers are moving on and cleaning out their classrooms as well as their homes. Check out any of the second-hand groups in WeChat like live LIGHTER, live BETTER!! or 2nd Hand Beijing Bargains. You never know what might show up!

Back-to-School Swap: You have tons of teacher friends and they have teacher friends too. Set up a coffee date or happy hour where everyone brings their unwanted teaching materials and trades their items. It’s a chance to clean out your class closet, get inspired with new products, and also get in some networking!

KEEP READING: Luxcessaries Every Beijing Teacher Needs!

Images: Unsplash, Taobao, WeChat

Recently, a mom in a school group I lurk in asked, “If a toy my child loves starts to break, should I replace it or just let it break and encourage him to find a new favorite?” I think it’s a valuable question, especially in a society where we have so much and replacing an item is often an easy option. When is it appropriate to let a toy go and when should you consider replacing it? There are a few variables that are worth considering.

Is this a comfort item? If so, it’s probably got a lot of emotional value for the child and simply buying a new one won’t be the same. In fact, it could cause a worse meltdown than allowing the toy to fade away.

How much does it cost and how easy is it to procure? If it’s an expensive item and your child already has plenty of toys, it’s worth considering directing them to some of their other playthings. You’re not made of money and kids shouldn’t expect that they can always get another one. On the flip side, if it’s not expensive and easy to obtain, then there may not be any harm.

Does it provide value to you? Is this an item that keeps them engaged for a long period of time and offers you some peace and quiet? What price do you put on that? If it helps you retain your sanity and it makes them happy, click the buy now button!

Level up: Toys are always learning tools. Without fail, they teach or encourage a skill. Is your little one on the cusp of outgrowing or mastering the skill it teaches? If so, what is the next skill level? Maybe you should present a new challenge?

If It’s time to let the item go, it could be difficult for your child. While it doesn’t require a full-on funeral, this is still a loss, especially if they are emotionally invested in the item. This parting moment could feel intense for them. Here are a few suggestions that might make the transition easier for your little one.

Let them talk about their feelings: But don’t dwell on it. Sharing why they love something and how it makes them sad to say goodbye is normal and healthy. Encourage them to share their feelings and then help them redirect that energy into something new. This sets a good blueprint for future losses of a more significant nature.

Set a timeline: If they aren’t quite ready to let go of their stuffie even though it’s missing an eye, an arm, and half its fluff, give them a chance to adjust to the idea. Let them know that in one week it will be time to say goodbye. Remind them each night and if a visual aid is helpful, set a countdown calendar. Children, like most humans, just need to know what is going to happen. Having a plan will make the separation easier.

Set the goodbye and the hello: Goodbye to one thing means hello to something else, so schedule the goodbye for right before a fun event. “Tomorrow you will say goodbye to stuffie and then we will go to your friend’s birthday party!” This teaches them that things and feelings are transient and letting go of something old makes room for something new to enter your life.

KEEP READING: Beijing Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Photo: Unsplash