When I first heard about China’s tradition of celebrating International Children’s Day, my initial thought was, “Why have I never heard about this?” I’m an expat teacher… international children are literally my job. So I decided to do a quick search and see what I could find about the history of this much-loved holiday here in China.

Depending on who you ask, its inception is different. Some people claim it began at a Massachusetts Universalist Church way back in 1857. But most sources cite its beginning at The World Conference on Child Welfare in Geneva in 1925. The original intent was to bring awareness to human rights for children and foster better solutions to worldwide childhood health and well-being issues like poverty and disease.

From there it gets a bit more fragmented and convoluted. Essentially, while everyone seemed to enjoy the idea of a Children’s Day, no one could agree on a date or even a name. The United Nations proclaimed World Children’s day to be Nov 20. However, Turkey established Children’s Day as Apr 23. Meanwhile, the US has had several iterations over the years starting with Rose Day – which was first rebranded as Flower Day before finally landing on the title of… surprise surprise – Children’s Day, which now falls on the second Sunday of June. Even still, more than 100 countries around the world have a Children’s Day on at least three dozen different dates.

Somewhere along the way, the day intended to be about protecting our youngest citizens morphed into a more general celebration of childhood. In China, children often spend the morning of Children’s Day at school where they participate in pageants or field trips, and are given the rest of the day off to spend with family and friends. Many youngsters also receive treats and gifts similar to the Western holidays of Christmas or Hanukah, but without the religious aspect.

In general, it’s just an occasion to celebrate being a kid. But as a friend pointed out, “Isn’t every day Children’s Day for kids?” I agree. And so I am suggesting a new holiday.

Grown-Up Day! For all of us who are successfully adulting, or just not outright failing at it, I suggest a half-day off from work spent doing the stuff we wish we had taken advantage of – or perhaps not taken for granted – as a child. Here’s my fantasy of how I wish to spend this new holiday:

Someone else would prepare me a high-calorie meal like Ayi’s Recipes: Steamed Pork and Spring Onion Baozi, which my youthful metabolism would have had no problem processing back in the day. This would be followed by a mid-afternoon nap from which I wake to find that the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming have been magically finished, allowing me to relax and watch cartoons on TV or play with friends in the park until it was time for another high-calorie dinner with a tiramisu on the side.

How would you wish to spend Grown-up Day? Let us know in the comments!

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Images: Unsplash

Happy International Museum Day! When poor AQI or brutal summer heatwaves strike, I love an afternoon nerding out in an air-conditioned palace of knowledge. But when it comes to kids, not all museums are created equal. Dusty velvet ropes, glass partitions, and signs screaming “Don’t touch!” aren’t ideal. You need to find a topic that sparks their imaginations and an exhibit that is curated to allow physical interaction. So here are my three best bets for kid-friendly museum excursions in Beijing.

Paleozoological Museum of China: If your kid loves big animals in general and dinosaurs specifically, this is the place for them. Institutions ranging from the Smithsonian to National Geographic and the BBC are hailing Hubei Province as the next frontier in paleontology following the discovery of thousands of fossils there in 2007. The scientific community has been carefully excavating and has found some truly amazing fossils including very rare “soft-bodied” imprints of species like jellyfish. One-third of the identified fossils in China are currently on display at the museum. In addition to smaller fossils, the museum boasts several full skeletons of mammoths and even a whale! The website is completely in Mandarin and there are very few English captions on displays, but let’s be real… the kids just want to see the cool dino skulls!

Hours: Tues-Sun, 9am-4.30pm

www.paleozoo.cn/

China Science and Technology Museum: For the little astronaut, and by far the hottest ticket this summer for educational fun. Since China put its first robotic lunar rover on the moon in 2013 the space program has been growing at an …astronomical rate. Likewise, the country’s first permanent fully functioning space station is expected to be completed by 2022. The Science and Technology Museum is honoring those accomplishments with an exhibit that opened in March. Visitors can become an astronaut for the day and experience such unique activities as seeing how people sleep, eat, work, and train in space. Located inside Olympic Village this state-of-the-art facility will provide hours of hands-on entertainment for the entire family. You can purchase tickets on the website (English and Mandarin available).

Hours: Tues-Sun 9am-4.30pm

https://cstm.org.cn/ywb/

Old Summer Palace: Okay, it’s not technically a museum. But one of the amazing things about China is that its 5,000-year history is alive and well in its public spaces. Not only are there opportunities to learn about the country they are living in, but the kids also get some fresh air while exploring the Emperor’s maze and the peony gardens. I suggest putting together a cool scavenger hunt to help focus the experience and give them some child-friendly history and exercise…Stay tuned for our scavenger hunt list later this week!

Hours: Daily, 7am-5pm

http://www.yuanmingyuanpark.cn/

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Marriage. For better or for worse. ’Til … no dowry do us part.

The practice of giving dowry and bride price is seemingly as old as the universe. These two customs are still present primarily in Asian and African cultures and are still seen as crucial steps for the merging of families when two people enter a marriage.

Bride price and dowry are essentially similar, with the only distinction being that the former is paid from the prospective groom to the family of the bride, and the latter is from the bride’s family to the groom’s side. On both occasions, the offerings usually include transfers of property, land, money, clothing, household goods, or livestock. 

In cultures that still practice these traditions, dowry is seen as giving a woman some entitlement in the marriage because she is bringing tangible goods into the marriage, and therefore has to be considered an equal member of her new family. The bride’s price is seen as “compensation” from the man’s family to the bride’s, for all the expenses spent on her care, education, and general upbringing. 

Given that the two practices are so similar, many countries tend to use the terms interchangeably.

In Africa

Before the arrival of white weddings, bride price was the only symbolic way to get married in many parts of Africa. Likewise, it is still viewed as “permission” from the bride’s family to marry in a church or civil ceremony. 

In many cultures, a marriage is considered invalid if the bride price has not been paid. What’s more, some folks go as far as denying the man any rights over children born from a marriage in which the bride price was not paid. 

In Asia

In parts of China, bride price – known as Pin Li or Pin Cai – has been practiced since ancient times. This tradition originated from the Chinese belief that when a daughter gets married, she is leaving her family while her new in-laws receive her into theirs. So, just like in other cultures, Pin Li symbolizes a bride’s value to the groom’s family. 

Whereas China has bride price, India has dowries. In India, a bride pays dowry to the groom’s family.

In many African cultures, bride price is given with the firm expectation that the woman is fertile, will give the man an heir, and will be a source of labor. If this fails to happen, it could result in mistreatment of the bride and even a demand that the bride price is paid back.

It has also been criticized for being an “enrichment scheme” for the bride’s family as well as a sexist way to commoditize a woman as transferable property.

Duō Shao Qián?

The spectacle and demands of some bride price ceremonies can be truly jaw-dropping. These are a few of the biggest dowry and bride price bargaining “show-stoppers.”

• A Dinka woman from South Sudan is considered to have one of the highest bride prices in the world (never mind that the country is one of the poorest). Nyalong Ngong Deng broke a bride price record when, aged just 17 and still a virgin, she attracted over six suitors who each gave mouth-watering proposals to ask her hand in marriage. In the end, a Mr. Kok Alat was declared the “winner,” after giving her family 520 cows and three V8 cars as part of her bride price.

17-year-old Nyalong Ngong Deng with her highest bidder -aka husband – Kok Alat

• The Igbo woman from Nigeria is not cheap either. The bride’s family usually creates a list of what they expect from the groom-to-be. To collect this list, you need to first pay up to RMB 6,480. Yes, that’s only for the LIST (the ink and paper). One can only imagine what the actual bride price amounts to. The higher the bride’s educational and professional status, the higher the price.

• In some provinces across China, hard cash is the preferred bride price payment and they expect no less than RMB 100,000 before someone can marry.

• The Zulu people from South Africa call it Lobola and it is expensive. The amount largely depends on the bride’s level of education and she can end up costing several cows or more than RMB 32,400.

• When it comes to the Buganda tribe in Uganda (my tribe), bride price ceremonies are hefty affairs. As in most cultures, it is used to represent a small token of appreciation from the groom’s family to the bride’s. These days, many of the ceremonies are over-the-top lavish affairs with offers of herds of cattle, goats, cars, money, household items, and even houses. These occasions have become a oneupmanship show of wealth rather than a simple expression of love.

• In some families in Zimbabwe, bride price has become a way of escaping poverty, with demands for huge sums of money from the in-laws.

• In Somalia, some brides refuse to get married until they see gleaming gold and other expensive household items.

Good or Bad

It started as a simple, symbolic gesture, but over the centuries, bride price and dowry have come to symbolize a much more sinister “scheme.”

In India for example, where dowries are preferred to bride price, a female child is seen as a burden on a family because of the financial savings the family has to bear in order to pay dowry to her future husband’s family. It isn’t unheard of for parents to sell off houses, land, or borrow from the bank in order to afford a daughter’s dowry. And even then, if the groom’s family deems the dowry inadequate, the bride may endure brutal beatings or worse. Tragically, many girls are killed at birth because of the financial encumbrance they represent to their families.

Seeking a dowry has been outlawed in India since 1961 but it is still very much practiced. China has also introduced caps on dowry payments although many in rural areas still demand exorbitant amounts of cash and property.

There’s little wonder that the cost involved in getting married has put many young men off marriage altogether. 

When it came to my own wedding, we didn’t have a traditional wedding. We were married by a priest, in a simple ceremony in front of our family and friends. My husband is often reminded that he still owes my family MANY cows, goats, and other goods… 

Well, they will be waiting – until the cows come home (no pun intended).

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Images: Unsplash, Pexels