Well, much to our delight, the recent “Tell Me You’re a Teacher” post resulted in an outpouring of hilarious responses that we just had to share. So without further ado, here are a few of our favorites:

It started as the world’s most annoying earworm but now…“Baby Shark” is my eternal jam.

I can only enjoy my coffee at room temperature now.

The inside of my washing machine boasts an impressive sticker collection.

My purse looks like this and I’m only part-time.

I have no less than a dozen pens in my bag and they are all red.

I correct the grammar and pronunciation of random people I meet.

As we head into the summer I want to put a twist on this. Introducing, Tell Me You’re a Camp Counselor Without Telling Me You’re a Camp Counselor!

KEEP READING: Tell Me You’re A Teacher Without Telling Me You’re A Teacher

Photos: Unsplash, Pinterest, Reddit, Cindy Marie Jenkins

When you have been teaching for any period of time, there will inevitably be a moment when you suddenly realize that teaching is now part of your DNA. There are habits you can’t break, instincts you can’t ignore, and situations you just accept as part of life. Here are a few of my favorite “Yup…I’m a teacher” moments from friends and colleagues.

“I instinctively clapped and yelled, ‘good job’ when a stranger just barely managed to jump on the subway before the car doors closed.”

“Got my nails done Sunday night. My nails at 11:55 Monday morning…”

“I find myself singing ‘Clean up, Clean up’ as I do the dishes at home.”

“Was excited to wear my new jeans! Forgot it was collaborative art day.”

“Contemplating throwing away an empty egg crate or toilet paper roll gives me anxiety.”

“I was fighting with my significant other and I yelled, ‘You are full of shapoopie!’

OK, it’s your turn. Tell me you’re a teacher without telling me you’re a teacher!

KEEP READING: East Meets West: The Differences in Early Childhood Education

Images: Unsplash

When I first moved to China as a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed educator, I was warned by other teachers that one of the most difficult parts of my job would be explaining the Western idea of early childhood education (ECE) to Chinese parents. Sure enough, a large part of my day is spent trying to explain, through a language barrier, how the controlled chaos in my classroom is actually a thoughtful and constructive learning environment.

That’s because the Chinese and Western philosophies of ECE are fundamentally different. Not better or worse. Just different. Entire papers could be written about this subject, but I think the easiest way to explain it is in four parts: the perceived goals of ECE in Eastern and Western systems, the methods used in the two systems to achieve those goals, and the pros and cons of each approach. For clarity, I am using the strictest interpretations of these philosophies. As with most things, there are varying degrees, and most educators on both sides gravitate towards the middle.

The Goals:

Eastern: Children should have specific, measurable tools like language, math, and writing skills, that will serve them as they move into upper education. The teacher’s job is to present the student with the correct answer; the student’s job is to learn it. Memorization and recitation are vitally important. Critical thinking will be learned in the upper grades after foundational knowledge has been absorbed.

Western: Children should be eager students who ask questions and seek answers. The teacher’s job is to set up learning situations and guide children through the process of learning. The child’s job is to actively engage in all activities, ask questions, and work to find the answers. While functional skills like language are taught and encouraged, they are secondary to fostering creative and critical thinking processes.

The Methods:

Eastern: The teacher is almighty and holds all knowledge and power as far as the students are concerned. Students are expected to sit, focus and absorb. In the strictest version of this philosophy, questions outside of clarification are frowned upon, and fun is considered frivolous and potentially even harmful to the learning process. Drills and flashcards are heavily featured and homework is mandatory. This is a product-oriented format so there are no acceptable alternative answers.

Western: The teacher is more of a benevolent learning guide in this scenario. They are in charge but should be open to many possible correct answers. Most lessons are play-based, and it is expected that all children will participate, with physical interaction and tactile stimulation considered just as important as watching and listening. Questions are actively encouraged, and teachers rarely present a correct answer. Instead, the focus is on the process of trying to figure something out through trial and error, in order to build the flexibility of thought that is needed for creative problem-solving. Students are rarely given homework at this age, and checklists of vocabulary words or flashcards are rarely seen. In many cases, they are flat-out discouraged. Binary learning will be a focus later in their educational career. For now, the objective is a child who loves the process of learning and who can discover solutions for themself.

The Pros:

Eastern: Children learn a lot of information very quickly. Parents and teachers know almost immediately if a child is learning the material and can course-correct if they are not. The ability to absorb and retain mass quantities of information can be helpful in a lot of fields of study – particularly the sciences and law. This is an ideal situation for children who need order and quiet to think. Hyper-structured environments allow some children to feel safe because they know what is expected at all times.

Western: This type of learning creates innovative thinkers who see multiple solutions to problems, and it prompts children to build self-confidence because they learn how to make mistakes and grow from them. It’s also very low-stress for most children, which is good for overall development. We also see a higher percentage of “lifelong learners” with this Western ECE philosophy because learning is seen as a joyful experience. It also provides a more productive environment for children who have alternative learning styles, as there are multiple ways to express knowledge.

The Cons:

Eastern: It teaches a binary way of thinking that can inhibit creativity in some. The need to achieve within a narrow set of parameters can contribute to a high-stress environment that gives way to emotional issues like anxiety disorders. Limited opportunities for self-expression can also have effects on more creative children, and those with learning conditions like dyslexia may fall behind or never get an opportunity to show their skill set in a way that is conducive to their knowledge base.

Western: This requires an immense amount of patience on the part of the teacher and can be frustrating for parents when measurable results don’t appear quickly. Having a poorly-trained teacher can ultimately result in the equivalent of all-day play, and some students who need a more structured class can become overwhelmed in his scenario. Because multiple solutions are encouraged, some children will have difficulty in situations where there is a black-and-white answer.

Mix it up!!!

I personally think the two methods have a lot to learn from each other. Handwriting and math shouldn’t be left until a child is in first or second grade. They are vital skills and should be introduced early. But there is a way to teach these and similar skills that allow for creative expression and won’t exclude those with different ways of absorbing information. The truth is that the greatest achievers in world history had minds that were creative enough to imagine something new and disciplined enough to bring it into reality. 

KEEP READING: Grand Parents’ Roles And Expectations in Different Cultures

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It’s the end of the school year and that means I suddenly have tons of parents asking me what the end of year gift policy is. There are all the regular questions: Are they allowed/expected? Should they be individual or a class gift? Is cash OK? But being an expat adds an extra logistical and cultural layer to things. Here are my gift giving do’s and don’ts for parents and a few personal stories of some of my favorite teacher gifts to help inspire you.

Don’t: Give overly personal items. While a gift certificate for plastic surgery or a gym membership might seem  generous. It could also come across as a comment on your teacher’s appearance. And things like perfume or lotions are thoughtful but if you don’t know a teacher’s preferences or allergies it might go to waste. For heavens sake please do NOT give lingerie (yes that happened once…oh the stories I could tell but that is another blog).

Do: Add appropriate personal touches. Hopefully you have had a few personal exchanges with your child’s teacher at this point. Think about what you know about them. If they mentioned they love to travel at parent night a new travel journal is a very thoughtful gift and shows you were paying attention.

Parent Gift Win: I once had a parent who asked me a month into the school year “how do you do this every day?!” I half-jokingly quipped back “Coffee in the morning, alcohol at night.”  At the end of the year she gave me a Starbucks gift card and bottle of wine with a note that said, “First week next year is on me!”

Don’t: Give large heavy items. We are expats too and we move a lot!!! While mugs with your child’s face on them or a new book are thoughtful and will probably make us smile they are one more thing for us to pack and ship home at the end of our contract.

Do: think about cultural experiences. Expat teachers are generally a pretty adventurous bunch. We left most of our belongings in a storage shed somewhere, packed our lives into whatever would fit into a checked bag and came here to teach, in part, because we wanted to have a cultural experience. So, what are some cool Beijing things they might not have tried yet. Cooking class at The Hutong or Black Sesame Kitchen? What about tickets to the Peking Opera or Acrobatic Show?  Think about the things you love doing that are unique to Beijing, there is a good chance they will love discovering them too.

Parent Gift Win: I was chatting with a parent at my school and I mentioned that I had enjoyed going to the Maliandao tea market here in Beijing and I was looking forward to learning more about tea while I was here. A few weeks later she brought me a box of tea from her home town in Yunnan. I was touched!

Do let your child choose. No don’t on this one. The teacher has had infinitely more time with your child then they have spent with you and your little one may have insight on the perfect gift. I can tell you first hand the things I know my students picked out are the ones that mean the most. Case in point…

Child Gift Win: When I was moving from DC to New York I had to say good bye to some very special children. One little boy I worked with was incredibly intelligent but had been struggling with behavior issues. He had made immense progress because his mom had been very open to collaborating with me. We had two rules for ourselves. 1) give him specific choices not orders and 2) ask him ‘why’ when he was being stubborn about something we didn’t understand. On my last day he handed me a box with two small ceramic birds in it

His mom told me “I want you to know, he chose these and when I was only going to buy one he was on the edge of a melt down. I remembered what you said and asked ‘why is it important we get two birds for Ms. Julie?’ He looked right at me and said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world ‘because there loooove birds’”

Needless to say I cried really hard. Those birds are currently in storage back in New York but I will never get rid of them. They are a reminder of why I do what I do.

Don’t: get into a contest with other parents over who can spend the most, Any decent teacher is not keeping score of who gifts what and the price tag. If you can’t afford to gift anything at all don’t.

Do: give honest thought to what will show genuine appreciation for the teacher’s efforts. A truly personal card from you or your child about how they have affected you will mean everything. I have stacks of hand drawn cards from students and kind words from parents, stained with my tears, that mean more to me than almost any other gift I have ever received.

A note on group gifts: If the class parents are organizing a group gift I strongly encourage that it is an anonymous donation not a set price per student. You don’t know what a family’s financial situation is and a teacher never ever wants to think that a family had to choose between purchasing something a child needed and not losing face.

Don’t:  give cash. This one will be controversial. I know many teachers will get upset with me for it but I am firmly opposed to cash gifts to teachers. Teachers are professionals who are compensated for there work (yes I know, they are under compensated, that’s also another post). Taking cash from a parent feels a little too much like taking a tip for services rendered. I do understand that Hong Bao are a part of Chinese culture however, so teachers should accept graciously if a local parent insists.

Do: Give options. If you choose to give something with a monetary value I suggest a gift card that offers teachers an option to pamper themselves. A spa treatment or a meal at a fancier restaurant isn’t something we are always able to treat ourselves too on a teacher’s salary and those small luxuries are appreciated.

A final word to my fellow educators. There is only one Do and one Don’t for us.

Don’t: expect anything at all. These are gifts, they are not an entitlement.

Do: accept all gifts with grace and genuine appreciation. Even if you don’t love it someone put time, money and effort into it.

KEEP READING: Would You Rather, Beijing Parent Edition

Photo: Unsplash

As teachers, we want what is best for our students. But every child is a unique individual and when it comes to education, one size does not fit all. I strongly encourage all of my prospective parents to do their due diligence. Just because your friends send their kid to my school, or it’s close to your home, or you read about one child who got into XYZ prestigious whatever after attending my class doesn’t mean this is the best place for your child. So, look at all the options and really think about where your child will thrive and what environment will help them become their brightest, boldest, most confident self.

In Beijing that can be a daunting task. According to the International School Database, there are 40 registered international schools just within the 6^th Ring Road. It’s amazing to have those kinds of choices but you could never visit all of them. That’s why the Jingkids International School Expo (JISE) is such an important resource for parents. JISE is an excellent opportunity to narrow the field by asking some important questions ahead of site visits. Here are a few questions I suggest parents ask themselves and school administrators prior to making such an important choice.

Questions to ask yourself/family:

Be honest with yourself about these. There is no correct answer to any of these questions. Just because something matters to your best friend or all the people on a WeChat group doesn’t mean it needs to be a deciding factor for you!

What is Your Child’s Learning Style? Some children excel in a hyper-structured environment. Some children need a more experiment-based approach to learning. Some kids actually do better in a competitive environment while others thrive in a collaborative setting. There is no right or wrong answer but knowing how your child best learns and then expresses their knowledge base will help you find the best fit for them.

What’s important to you? Do you want a bilingual school? Do you want a specific curriculum like IB, AP, or Montessori? Distance from your house and provided bus service? It doesn’t matter what your needs are but I suggest making a list and ranking them in order of importance. This will help you immediately discard a lot of options and focus on schools that fit your family’s needs.

What’s important to your child? Don’t be shocked if this list doesn’t match yours. If you have a little diva or divo a school with a strong theatre program may be important to them. A blossoming scientist might want state-of-the-art labs or maybe your gamer really wants a coding program. Obviously, you have the final say but invested kids are more likely to excel so if your child has reasonable requests take them into consideration.

Questions to ask the school:

I stayed away from the more obvious questions that I’m sure you have seen a thousand times. Here are a few less frequently asked questions that may give you some different insight.

What support and resources do they offer? Third culture kids often face different challenges than other students. Because they move so much learning disabilities can go unnoticed for example. They also deal with additional social and emotional stressors. Making new friends can be difficult or being separated from extended family for long periods can take an emotional toll. Not to mention things like pandemics and emergency evacuations or quarantines.  At some point, your child may struggle with a multitude of issues so find out how the school handles them. Do they have on-site councilors, a tutoring program, reading specialists, etc.? Not all of these are mandatory but knowing what’s available is important.

How diverse is the student body? What is the current make up of the school. Is it 99% local students or is there a wide range of expat kids from different cultures. If your child is the only third culture kid in ther grade it could get lonely for them. On the flip side being fully immersed could be exciting and intriguing for the right child. You will need to decide what’s best for them but you should know going in what there class culture will be like.

Extracurricular activities: This may not seem important but find out what is on offer and how much participation is expected of each child. If your child doesn’t enjoy team sports but it’s a huge part of the school culture making friends and forming a supportive social circle might be difficult. If your child does enjoy social activities but not a lot is offered in their area of interest are you willing to do the leg work to find after-school programs and transportation that work around the school day?

What is the average student experience? Almost every school can point to a few shining stars who went on to win at the Olympics, got into a prestigious university, or made a massive scientific break thru. But what about the kids who got mostly B’s, were in the choir but didn’t solo, and had close friends but didn’t sit at the varsity lunch table? Do they generally go on to good universities, have rewarding careers, and happy social lives?

How do they handle discipline? This is a big one that not many parents don’t think about after preschool. But it’s almost more important for a 16-year-old than a 16-month-old. Every culture has a different expectation of children and young adult behavior. They also have a different way of handling discipline when that expectation is not met. Choose a program that aligns with your own family’s expectations and values.

What are the school’s goals and focus? This can be tricky. Most parents ask what a school’s philosophy is and get a long explanation of educational pedagogy or a list of core values from the pamphlet. Don’t get me wrong, that is all important, but it won’t tell you what that looks like in a child’s day-to-day existence.  I suggest asking. “In your opinion, what is the marker of a successful student? How do you know when a child is excelling?”  The answer should be telling. If they say “When they get good grades” that is a very different type of program than one who responds “When they ask a lot of questions” or “When they are excited to come to school.” All of these are perfectly acceptable answers and they tell you as a parent more about what a school’s real focus is and the culture and values of the staff and student body.

KEEP READING: Building Up STEAM

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“Yuck, no! It’s touching! I DON’T LIKE THAT!!!!!!!” For all too many parents, this is their mealtime soundtrack. Most kids go thru a picky phase (or three) and parents desperate to make sure their growing little one gets the nutrition they need start to view the dinner table as a battleground. So how do you win the war?

Start by understanding what causes picky eating. There are physiological influences. Taste buds are growing and evolving rapidly in your child every 7-14 days depending on where they are in their growth cycle. That means a food they loved yesterday might literally taste awful to them today and vice versa. There are also psychological influences at play. If the last time they ate broccoli they had an upset tummy afterward they might associate the bad feeling with the food itself. Last but not least is the control factor. Part of a child’s learning process is making choices and learning to exert control over their body and environment. We make most of the decisions for our young children. Food is the exception to that. We can guide their food choices, but what they are willing to chew and swallow is one of the few things they are solely in charge of. So in a world where they have no control, they subconsciously decide to control what they can. Because of this, you may find picky eating returns when there has been a major change in the family, like relocation or a new sibling for example.

The good news? Generally, it’s a phase that will pass on its own, and in the meantime, there are some tactics savvy parents can use to make meals less stressful for everyone.

Don’t Push: You can’t MAKE them eat it. So instead set a good example by enjoying your own food. Point out the people in their lives who also eat good food. “Uncle Jason is eating all his broccoli, that must be why he is so strong.” This will help plant the seeds for trying the food next time.

One Family One Meal: Eat together when you can and resist the urge to make a separate kids meal. This is what we are eating tonight, if you aren’t hungry that’s ok.  You don’t need to eat it but this is what we have for dinner. That doesn’t mean you don’t serve things they like, in fact…

Include Them in the Planning Process: Let them help you create the menu and do the shopping. Rather than giving them cart blanche (you will end up always eating fish sticks, mashed potatoes, and cupcakes if you do) give them choices. “Should we have chicken or fish tonight? Good choice! We need a yummy vegetable too. Should we have corn, broccoli, or tomatoes?” Just giving them an option, even a limited one, will often short circuit the control factor.

If They Cook It, They Will Eat It (Usually): Most kids are justifiably proud of what they make and cooking is no exception. They will likely at least try something they got to help cook. Bonus: You are giving them an active role in caring for their family and teaching them that food does not magically appear. Someone had to put love and effort into making it.

Variety and Repetition: Offer several different foods at each meal, one or two you know they enjoy and one or two that are new. They are more likely to eat at least a few things of nutritional value that way and the association of the new with the familiar might make them feel safer trying something novel. If they don’t try it the first time that’s OK. Many children need to see a food several times before they will taste it. So just put spinach into the rotation every few days and let them see you consume it happily. Eventually, they will give it a shot.

They Will Eat When They Are Hungry: It’s old advice but it’s sage. It goes against our biological instinct to starve so most kids will eat what’s in front of them if they are truly hungry.  If your child consistently refuses to eat at dinner try cutting out snacking two hours before the meal.

No “Prize Foods”: I am not opposed to the occasional bribe if it helps you get thru your day. Heaven knows a little iPad time in exchange for 30 minutes of quiet, so you can meet a work deadline is occasionally necessary. But in my opinion food bribery (if you eat your peas I will give you ice cream) can set some difficult precedents. Eating healthy food shouldn’t be a chore and enjoying sweets occasionally isn’t a reward, these things should be a natural, enjoyable part of a happy life and a healthy relationship with food. Setting up foods as good or bad could have negative effects for some children down the line like emotional binging or overly strict dieting.

If You Can Eat Out Once in a While: Sometimes a change of scenery is enough to focus your child on something other than what is on their plate. Something as simple as a picnic can provide a positive new environment. It’s also an opportunity for them to choose the food they are comfortable with while watching you and their sibs experiment and enjoy something different. Ask other members of the family if you can try a bite of their food and then make a point of saying how good it is, you are glad you tried something new! Your picky eater might just ask to try it too.  (note, this will probably only work if it is their idea so don’t offer, let them to ask).

If you need recommendations on family-friendly restaurants in Beijing feel free to join our WeChat group: FamilyFriendlyEats. Add WeChat ID CindytheScribe to join.

As always these are general guidelines. If you suspect there are underlying health issues tied to your child’s picky eating or you are noticing lethargy and a general disinterest in the food you should consult your pediatrician. But the vast majority of picky eating is short-lived and nothing to be overly concerned about.

KEEP READING: Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner! Tips on Family Dining in Beijing

Image: Unsplash

The Artist-Scientist is not a new phenomenon. Da Vinci springs to mind for obvious reasons but so do Johann Zahn the inventor of the camera, Botanist Anna Atkins and Samuel Morse who not only invented the telegraph but was a prolific painter. They were all people whose artistic and scientific pursuits merged creating something unique and innovative. But over the past decades, the Idea of STEAM education has taken hold as something new and novel. A lot of time, energy, and acronyms have been put into developing the next generation of artistic scientists. And it’s not all hype. Here is a short guide to STEAM and why it matters.

The educational philosophy of STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Math) started to gain recognition in the early ’90s in Washington DC. It was a government-supported and educator-guided response to the millions of new science and tech jobs that were springing up around the world and a generation of kids that would need to be prepared to step into a workforce with the skills to fill those roles. The initiative was focused mainly on high school students but as with most educational ideas, it began to trickle down to the lower grades. Not too long after educators started to realize that the arts- including music, theatre, language, and writing were a vital piece of the puzzle not only for teaching the technical subject matter but to help the next generation of scientists and engineers innovate and communicate those ideas to the broader public. The A was added and STEAM was born.

What does that have to do with early childhood education? Subjects like math and science are often highly abstract and require significant attention spans to begin to understand. Things like numbers and equations are nebulous and require a level of symbolic thinking and creative problem solving that is still developing in our youngest students. It’s why parents and some educators put off “real learning” until the child is better able to sit and focus for longer than it takes to swap your half-eaten cookie for your friend’s name tag.  The arts offer a way to physicalize an idea and they are fun and engaging so children are able to focus for a longer period of time. Once the focus is in place and the nebulous idea has a concrete tactile avatar children can not only grasp complex ideas, they can infer and expand upon them.

STEAM lessons are often collaborative music, art, or literature projects that require students to work together. The teacher helps the children to think critically about a subject or question, discuss options, plan and then create/build and finally evaluate their work. It is often very prep intensive on a teacher’s part and always a challenge for an educator to lead well because the outcome is not guaranteed. But, when done correctly it’s incredibly rewarding. I have personally witnessed a group of four-year-olds go from asking why family members often look like each other to a basic understanding of DNA.

As more and more ECE programs tout their STEAM curriculum parents are finding it harder to separate the wheat from the chaff. What makes an effective program as opposed to another school hitching their wagon to the catchy marketing scene? Here are few things you can look for that suggest a quality STEAM curriculum.

Process Not Product: I know you all are sick of me saying it but it’s truly important for this age group. Process-oriented play is scientific method lite! I try something and don’t love the result, so I try something else to see if I get a different result. That’s an experiment!

Teacher guided, student-led: Innovation requires a unique combination of creativity and discipline. It is a way of thinking and it can be learned. Make sure the teachers in the room are able to not only pose open-ended questions but encourage children to ask questions of their own. Then guide them thru the process (see what I did there) of discovering the answer for themselves.

Art should be unique: If you walk thru the halls and all of the work on the walls looks roughly the same, this is a school concerned with the product. I tell my staff I should be able to walk into their class and guess which child made which item because they are all so unique. If I can’t do that then I’m willing to bet the teachers “corrected” the artwork.

Ask about a recent project: Or at least have them tell you about one of their favorites. They don’t need to be complex. The children designed a butcher paper mural of the ocean floor in art because they were discussing sea life this week, that’s collaborative ecology. They raced matchbox cars down different degrees of ramps because they wanted to see which went faster. That’s a velocity experiment and if they built and designed the ramps, engineering! If a director of the program can’t off the cuff tell you about an awesome experiment, collaborative or creative literature project they did in the past few weeks it’s not a regular part of the curriculum.

Practical sciences: things like cooking and “why” question experiments should be pretty standard parts of a good early education STEAM program. That’s because children this age are observational learners. They want to know why ice melts and leaves change, and the bread turns moldy. If the classrooms don’t have a tactile bin and mixing bowls that are obviously well used they are missing a major STEAM opportunity.

The kids in the room: Are they interested, engaged, and asking appropriate questions? Not all of them all the time because…they are two. But do they want to know what is in the mystery bag today, are they excited to discover what is in the tactile bin? Do they look up, greet you, and want to share what they are learning when you enter the room? Challenged, engaged students are happy and eager to learn and then share what they have learned with others.

What you can do at home: I suggest everyday experiments. Why does the rubber ducky float in the bath but the ball sinks? What else will float? How does the TV know I’m pushing the on the button on the remote control? Will the laser that communicates work thru a pillow or a piece of paper? Your kids ask “why” a thousand times per day. Encourage that and then help them figure out the answers.

What you can do in Beijing: Education should be a lifelong pursuit so it shouldn’t start and stop at the classroom door. Try and find inspirational places to visit in your neighborhood. The current space exhibit here in Beijing is an exciting way to get kids’ imaginations fired up and show them that science can be a literal adventure. Beijing also has tons of great public art installations. Don’t just admire their beauty ask leading questions, what do you think that statue is made of, how do you think the artist shaped it?

STEAM isn’t the end-all and be-all of ECE. There are plenty of other methodologies and project-based learning styles but it can be one powerful and fun tool to help young minds blossom and develop. It just needs to be used effectively.

KEEP READING: Letting Kids Learn From the Process, Not Product

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The ice has just started to thaw but it’s already time to start thinking about camp! Summer camp is hands down one of the best childhood rites of passage gifting young people with new friends and experiences and parents with a few blessed hours of peace each day. But is it right for every child? How young is to young for camp and should you send the kids to one if you just relocated to a new city? Here are some frequently asked questions I get from parents trying to make the summer fun.

At what age should I consider sending my child to camp? How young is too young for camp?

It’s less about age and more about how well they separate from you. If your two-year-old has successfully separated, then a well-structured day camp might be a wonderful experience over the summer months. But if your little one has not been through the separation process, then a camp can be an overwhelming experience that sets them back. A shorter caregiver attended summer class that works towards separation may be more appropriate in that case.

My child has fully separated. What should I look for in a camp to give them the best possible experience?

No matter how well your little one has separated in the past, they may have a little trouble with the new schedule, friends and environment; so, look for a program that specializes in young campers. It’s all about the three C’s: Counselors, Curriculum, and Comfort.

Counselors: Camp staff need to be not only comfortable, but skilled, in working with small children. They should be able to handle everything from separation anxiety to potty training. This is vital.

Curriculum: Is the camp program basically expensive day care or will your child be engaged and challenged with interesting projects and exciting activities? A bored little one will not enjoy themselves.

Comfort: keep them close to home. Find a great program in your neighborhood in a facility that is made for the pre-K set. A high school gymnasium is going to feel big and scary while a preschool classroom will feel safe and familiar.

What are the benefits to attending camp for children this young?

Students who separated over the school year often regress and have difficulty going back to a separation schedule after a summer at home. A fun classroom environment over the summer, even with sporadic breaks for vacations, can help to remind them how much fun being away from you is! It’s also a great way for them to make new friends, learn to bond with new teachers (very important especially if they will have different teachers next year) and continue to develop all the other wonderful cognitive, social and physical skills that they built over the past school year!

We just relocated. Should I send my child to camp to help them adjust or will it be too much?

I wish there was a hard and fast rule on this but like so many things with parenting it really depends on the child. Age has little to do with it so go by personality.

Your eight-year-old introvert may be completely freaked out and need to stay close to home while they adjust. In that case try and set up play dates and mini adventures over the summer. Your five-year-old social butterfly will probably be super excited to make new friends and try new things. In that case send them to camp with love!

If you do decide camp is right for your kids, try and send them with children who will be in their class next year or who live in your building/neighborhood. Camp could be a great way for them to start establishing a social network and make the transition to school easier in September.

KEEP READING: Summer Camp Preview: Get Your UN On with Wild China & The Dewey Center

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There has been a ban on corporal punishment here in China since 1986 and recently the Ministry of Education has expanded that ban to include the use of any punishment that causes mental trauma, including humiliation tactics. Obviously, I am in favor of any measure that safeguards a child’s mental and physical well-being. But there are still some old-school teachers and parents who believe in the spare the rod and spoil the child methodology and plenty of adults I know consider discipline of any kind to be an outmoded and ineffective practice. Personally, I fall somewhere in between. I think it’s time to reopen the conversation on discipline. The following are all my personal opinions as an educator so please take them as such. Hopefully, they spark some conversations between you, your friends, your partner, and your child’s teacher.

What’s the point? The first question I think we need to ask ourselves is, what is the point of disciplining a child? If the idea is to break their spirit and mold them into mini versions of ourselves, then I am firmly opposed. But if the point of discipline is to inform and guide their behavior and eventually give them the skills to self-discipline as a healthy, contributing member of society then I’m all for it.  So how do we do that?

Never discipline while angry: Any teacher who tells you they never lose their cool in class is either lying or it’s their first day on the job! Teaching is tough and kids can push your buttons. But if you try to manage your classroom while angry or are disciplining a child because they pissed you off then it’s really about you and your emotional state and not the child. Discipline can never be about power or punishment. To be effective it must be dispatched with kindness and love. So if your blood pressure is rising tag another adult in. Cool off and then come back and deal with the issue.

Consequences, not punishments: If the desired result is a child who can self-discipline then in my opinion the most effective classroom management tactics involve direct natural consequences to a child’s actions. For example: If a five-year-old hits their friend and I take away their snack there is no direct cause and effect. The two things are not related at all in the child’s mind, I’m just being mean and that is what they will focus on and remember. But, if the child hits their friend and I remove them from the room explaining “when we hit our friends they don’t want to play with us anymore” there is a direct link to the behavior the child exhibited and the reaction they got.

The same principle applies as they get older. If the effect of failing an exam because they didn’t study is that the teacher tells the class that there too stupid to succeed then all the child hears is that now they have an excuse for failing…”I’m just stupid”. But if the effect is You can’t be in the choir this semester because rehearsals are several hours a week and you obviously need more time to study, they might just start applying themselves, so they can get back to doing what they love.  Every student and situation are different but focusing on the behavior and its effects instead of punishing the child have always yielded far better results in my classroom.

Positive reinforcement: Not all consequences are negative. So often as teachers we get focused on the things kids are doing wrong and end up ignoring where they are excelling. But if I have an out-of-control room the first thing I do is start loudly praising the students who are behaving well. “I love how Ziah is sitting in his chair and showing me, he is ready to learn. Samantha has her listening ears and watching eyes on and is ready to use that brilliant mind of hers!” 9 times out of 10 the other kids will redirect themselves if they see the positive attention their friends are getting.

That’s a little heavy-handed for high school but a genuine well-deserved compliment like “Samantha, I really enjoyed reading your paper. The idea you had about xyz was incredibly creative and well researched. Keep this up!” Is going to be much more effective and inspiring than pointing out the one missed comma.

Stop it before it starts: Children don’t mean to be disobedient or disruptive (most of the time.) The frontal lobe which controls decision-making and impulse control won’t develop until after puberty. They literally need more time than we do to consider what will happen in the moments after they take an action. So good teachers know that the best way to deal with disappointing behavior is to stop it before it starts. If you see a child about to snatch a toy away or throw food or inappropriately touch a classmate call a pause and ask them what they think will happen if they do that. For older children; If you play video games instead of doing your homework or post that negative WeChat comment what are the results?

Most kids will have an ah-ha moment. And enough ah-ha’s will equal a permanent change in their behavior.

It’s evolving: We are constantly learning more about human development and that guides us in the best practices for our kids. I’m sure that in a few years I will look back on this article and facepalm. I’ll be a better educator because the art and science of education will have evolved and hopefully I will have evolved too. But for the moment I’m not convinced that a lack of discipline in the classroom (or anywhere else for that matter) is better than full-on intimidation tactics and beatings to help children grow and develop. Discipline is not a dirty word, it just needs to be redefined and used effectively for each individual child and situation.

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