If you’re lucky enough to obtain a PU letter and special visa so your family can return to Beijing, the next step is preparing for quarantine. When I returned in July, we still quarantined for two weeks outside of Beijing, and it’s a hopeful step that they now allow some incoming flights to quarantine inside the city. 

But two weeks in a hotel room with kids is two weeks in a hotel room with kids, and no one expects to be happy about it. WeChat and other groups overflow with families who are freaked out at the possibility of no food delivery, Taobao, or access to the outside world. Even with two young kids I wasn’t nearly as worried about the hotel quarantine as I was stressed at the idea of staying in the states indefinitely, separated from my husband and the home we’d worked so hard to build in Beijing. I was and still am very grateful to the precautions Beijing takes to ensure they don’t reach a pandemic stage again, so by the time we left, I just wanted someone to show me the hoops and I’d gladly jump through them with my two little pirates.

Out of all the advice I could spout off if asked, and I have, here are some basic ways that families can prepare themselves and their kids for fourteen days isolated in an unfamiliar hotel room.

One side of my tightly packed snack suitcase

Packing Is a Coping Mechanism, Not a Chore

Once in Florida for the pre-flight quarantine, I immediately emptied our suitcases and laid them out in my bedroom, packing only what I could carry. I ordered food that we could make with just a water kettle and bought the successful items in bulk. I’d whittled my clothes down to a few items and ordered two fresh but cheap pajama sets that I planned to alternate wearing, then toss as soon as we were let out of the hotel.

Ashwini Schmid, mom of three who traveled from Switzerland to Tsingtao in late August, also went easy on her clothes.”Don’t worry about bringing many clothes as you can wash and wear the same few things – no one will see you but the doctor who comes to take your temperature twice a day.”

Mom Laurence J, who prepared for quarantine in Tianjin with her kids Belen (17) and Eliot (11), also found packing to be a soothing process. She said it gave them “a feeling of being in control and prepared and ease the anxiety.” I can attest to the fact that my own anxiety was eased through the process of packing. Who knew?

Join as Many Wechat Groups as Possible

“They proved to be very helpful for preparing the quarantine both mentally and packing,” Laurence said. “I shared with my kids a lot of the small stories I was able to get from the WeChat groups and I showed them pictures of the people fully dressed in PPE (cosmonaut suits) and pictures of the food.”

The “Beijing Arrivals and Beijing Quarantine” WeChat groups are run by Robert. You can add him on WeChat (ID: RobertKay123) to get into these groups.

If you’re stranded outside of China and trying to return, look at this spreadsheet: Stranded Outside China & Arrival Groups and join the group for your appointed country or region. Huge thanks to Ariel Lee of the Shanghai Arrivals group for updating that spreadsheet as needed!

Counting down to our flight back home

Get Yourself a Countdown Calendar

I started this back in Seattle as soon as our visas were in process. I bought a big desk calendar, four different colored post-it notes, and counted down until we flew to Florida, then the fourteen days of our Florida quarantine, changed colors for the Tianjin quarantine, then another color to signify our potential last seven days of self-quarantine, which was maybe in our apartment and maybe in a Beijing hotel. 

This way my kids saw quite clearly “how many sleeps” until we were on a plane, and how many sleeps until we saw Daddy again. Time zones and questions about which day was our real start of quarantine kept it interesting, but that’s why I used post-it notes; they are easy to move. 

Warn Everyone, Regardless of Age, That We Can Make It Fun but It Will Really Suck Sometimes

Before our flight, I did everything possible to let our kids enjoy the outdoors while we could. I got them water blasters so they’d go outside more often. I reminded them that we wouldn’t be able to play outdoors for fourteen days once we were in China again. That got the idea really clear in their heads, even at their young ages.

I played up the cool stuff we could do, like unlimited Nintendo time (no Mom shame here) and binging of our favorite shows and messy arts and crafts. We picked specific LEGO bricks out of our collection that would make for good long term projects in the hotel. But most importantly, I didn’t try to downplay that sometimes it was going to suck, and sometimes it would be fun. We acknowledged all of the feelings and gave each other space to feel whatever we did in whatever moments we had, collectively or individually.

Much like packing, I found sorting LEGO bricks soothing.

Schmid and her family went even further to discuss what would happen if one of them got sick along the way. “We spoke about…being taken to a hospital, and that that person would have to go alone and that no one could go with them, but that at the end of the two weeks we would be together again.” 

Even if it is a slim chance of getting sick, it’s always better to let your children know ahead of time what might happen. Otherwise, their anxiety about the unknown could increase. Charlene Ng, an Academic Coach and Mom of Asher (6), also planned for all sorts of doomsday scenarios: unstable WiFi, bad food, dirty sheets, etc., “and it helped me to see that the worst-case scenarios were not too bad. There are so many uncertainties so it’s a good exercise to manage all the unknowns.”

Give Yourself Something Consistent to Do Every Single Day

I kept a diary on my laptop, which felt very Doogie Howser-esque. I didn’t try to stick to a format. I just wrote whatever and however I felt like writing that day. Some days I chronicled the mood swings of my preschooler. Some days I counted how often the English language commercials were broadcast during the children’s programming. Every day I looked out my window and searched to identify buildings I could see, using the Tianjin Tour Guide that the hotel ironically left for us.

Teenager Belen L, a student at the French International School of Beijing (LFIP), found that setting up a routine helped her feel connected to reality. She also got creative with photography and documenting her experience, but Belen also found a way to make good use of her time:

“I definitely recommend signing up for some kind of free online course, whichever subject interests you, as it gives you a goal to reach during those two weeks. Some apps I downloaded are Domestika, for artistic courses (accessible to beginners, but can be expensive) or Coursera, which covers many subjects (free unless you want a certificate). For example, I signed up for a free course called “Feminism and Social Justice” which is a subject that interests me but that I’ve never really dug into until now.”

Keep Their Eyes on the Prize: Home

It was a tricky balance to give my younger kids something they could look forward to at the end of quarantine. For instance, I switched between “Ten days until we see Daddy!” and “Nine days until we’re back at our apartment!” so their understanding of the situation wouldn’t get twisted in a way that would make them resent anyone or anything for the quarantine. We made a list of things to play with Daddy and I kept looking up our favorite parks and restaurants to show them. 

Laurence and her family were one of the lucky ones with a great view.

Enjoy the Good Times

Some unexpected happy moments will arise out of this odd predicament. Ashwini got a birthday cake delivered to her, courtesy of the CDC! Laurence and her family fight “to pick up the food on the table in the corridor, as it is the only moment that we open our door to the external world.”

Belen treats the outside world as a nice distraction, “although it feels strange to be unable to be a part of it. The other day, there was a beautiful sunset over the city and it was an amazing feeling to experience beauty while quarantined in an unfamiliar place.” 

Someone told me once that being an expat means “If it’s not a good time, then it’s a good story,” We managed to get through those fourteen days mentally intact and with a fresh appreciation of all the wonderful new opportunities awaiting us back in Beijing. 

Plus a healthy helping of good stories.

One of the first things they did upon release was to ride their scooters.

KEEP READING: Hotel Family Quarantine: “It Has Made My Children More Resilient”

Photos: Courtesy of Cindy Marie Jenkins and Laurence J.

A little nip and tuck here and there, some botox and fillers, and the ever so popular double eyelid surgery: cosmetic changes have become so common that procedures like these are barely even counted as “getting work done” now. Back in the 80s, 90s, and even early 00s, it was a huge deal to get something as drastic as breast implants and the ever so popular lip filler injections weren’t even a thing yet.

It used to be common that Korean girls were given full-face cosmetic surgery packages as graduation gifts, but in the recent decade, as cosmetic surgery became cheaper and readily available all over the country, girls in China are catching up. According to South China Morning Post, in 2018 of the 22 million Chinese who underwent some form of cosmetic procedure, 54% were under the age of 28 and 8% were teens.

But why has it increased so much? Many place the blame at the feet of social media. The increase in demand for cosmetic alterations in young people has surged in tandem with the increase in selfies, in a phenomenon coined as “Snapchat dysmorphia” in 2018. Indeed a report published by JAMA Facial Plastic Surgery Viewpoint by Boston University stated that 55% of surveyed plastic surgeons have said their younger patients have brought in heavily filtered selfies to show the surgeon what changes they want done.

Surgery season

It’s not anything new that teens tend to opt for cosmetic surgery in their senior year of high school and right now, for some students, it’s that time. Starting college surrounded by people who don’t know what you previously looked like lets you have a fresh new start and keep the details of your enhancements to yourself if you so choose to. In China, this has become so popular that the first public holiday after college entrance exams has become the high traffic season in the industry. It’s the time when high school seniors are the least stressed about their academic future, and there’s enough time between then and the start of college for almost all major surgical procedures to recover.

With cosmetic surgery gaining ever more popularity, young people having the means to pay for the changes they want, and society become more and more nonchalant about it, is it really the kind of message we want to be sending to the young women and our next generation? If you don’t like your face, change it? Or is it more important to love what you’re given?

I’ve never been one to frown upon plastic surgery. I’m a firm believer that if it’s something that’ll make you happy, then you should go for it. But at what age is cometic surgery considered acceptable in teens?

Scan the QR code below to take the poll.

KEEP READING: Does Cosmetic Surgery Cut Too Deep? 

Photos: Pexels

Since 2015, Beijing-based mental health organization CandleX has been offering to English-speaking teenagers and adults living in Beijing. Designed to fill the gap in mental health support and resources for Western expats that founder Xiaojie Qin, herself an English speaking Chinese national identified, it has grown to include a wide range of ongoing projects, workshops, and acts as a bridge between the community and mental health resources.

Now, CandleX ais gearing up for their CBT Online Course Club, an online course Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) online course to run between Jul 15 and Aug 31.  CBT is a research and evidence-based form of psychotherapy which has shown to be effective for many chronic, recurring, and challenging mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and trauma. Some of the techniques that it teaches include relaxation, coping, resilience, stress management, and assertiveness, and this course is designed to help participants improve their understanding of, and gain coping skills for depression and anxiety with evidence-based treatment.

“We’re really excited about the course, we finally found one that is free” Qin explains “the course is offered via Future Learn, and the course is run by the University of Reading”. While the course itself is free, by signing up via CandleX and paying RMB 100 (or RMB 50 for students and those who make less than RMB 8,000/month) participants gain access to a variety of supplementary local resources such as a daily WeChat group chat with expat registered counselor Katie McLeod, to support and discuss each step of the course; a live weekly Webinar with registered counselor Melena Slaven; an end of program webinar with a clinical psychologist from an international hospital; and (restrictions permitting) a learners dinner at the end to recap and reflect on the experience. As Qin puts it “we’re not going to be able to replace all offline aspects, so it’s important to create some face-to-face moments when possible.”

The course is available to all ages, but CandleX has specifically included a school-aged teen on the planning board, to ensure that the entire process is appealing to teenagers and sensitive to their needs. Indeed, CandleX has been ramping up their youth engagement in the last two years, including by launching their very successful ‘Open Letter’ series (originally called Letters to my Parents) back in February. According to Qin, the window between 14 and 25 is the typical onset age for mental illness, which makes it critically important to offer interventions and support at this time.

For more information or to sign up for the course,  click here.

KEEP READING: CandleX Creates Space for Honesty Between Teens and Parents

Images: beijing kids (via Canva)