Perhaps one of the most positive developments in recent years has been our collective readiness to openly talk about mental health issues, big and small. It seems as though folks on a global scale are more willing to admit that life is tough, and whether you’re suffering from more serious issues such as clinical depression, body dysmorphia, substance abuse and anxiety disorders, or simply going through a rough patch, and feeling lost in the labyrinth of this thing we call existence, seeking out help is not to be scorned, nor should it be a source of shame.

Add to this the fact that many of us wholly uprooted our lives and made the move to Beijing, a confusing and frightening reality in its own right, and our access to resources become all the more murky, yet all the more urgent.

Suffice it to say that The Beatles weren’t wrong when they sang, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Unfortunately though, our friends aren’t always equipped to provide us with the necessary emotional infrastructure to maintain a successfully balanced and healthy well-being.

To that end, we’re sharing a comprehensive list of multilingual counselors and organizations in Beijing who offer services ranging from workplace wellness, therapy for all ages, marriage counseling, cross-cultural relationships, and finding purpose, to adjustment issues.

The information below was compiled in November 2019 by local members of the counseling community, who state:

“All [counselors]say that they are fully certified with a professional body unless otherwise stated, however please make your own inquiries. All speak English and see adults. Sessions are 50-60 mins. Where a range of payment is indicated, it’s a needs-based sliding scale. Most counselors are also available online.”

Mike Shook MA, LMHC, NCC (Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor). Practices narrative therapy and feedback informed treatment and works mainly with children, adolescents, and adults. Available Tuesdays and Thursday from 10am – 5pm for online appointments, with limited in-person availability on Thursdays. RMB 350-800. WeChat: mshook. For more information click here or email mike@noomawellness.com.

Katie McLeod MA, MRes. Available Fridays 11am – 7pm and online Monday and Wednesday mornings. Currently seeking certification with CCPA. Flexible with location, RMB 200-800. Degree focus marriage and family therapy, adults, adolescence, or couples. WeChat: katiemcleod

Danielle Harris MSc. Shunyi, evenings and Saturdays. Online & face-to-face. Among others anxiety, addiction, depression, trauma, transition, stress loss. WeChat: dani-1926.

Karen Hurworth MA. Available weekdays 8am – 6pm & Saturdays 8am – noon. Shunyi district. RMB 600 per session. Variety of approaches to treat issues from depression, anxiety, relationship challenge and finding life purpose. WeChat: khurworth

Gaëlle Cassier. Psychoanalyst with a French clinical psychologist license and Masters. French, English, Chinese. Contact for fee. Lacanian psychoanalysis, research in cross-cultural approaches and psychosis. For more information click here, call 139 1101 0032, or email gaelle.cassier@xin-jing.com.

Dr. Michelle Mope Andersson English and Swedish, pastoral counselor for adults and couples, Dongzhimenwai. Travels every month or so. Needs based sliding scale. Existential therapy, marriage and family. For more information click here, or email mopeandersson@yahoo.com.

Dr. Birgit Mathon clinical psychologist and systemic psychotherapist, studied in Vienna and Stanford. Special fields: trauma, depression, anxiety, communication for couples. WeChat: BirgitMathonBeijing

Dr. Mike Merhvarz Psychologist, English, Farsi, Mandarin; individual, couple & marriage therapy; ADHD, ADD, Dyslexia, Asperger, Autism, pediatric developmental assessment, psychological and neuropsychological testing. International Medical Center, Beijing. For more information email dr.mike@imcclinics.com

Dr. Theo Cope Psychologist & Positive & Transcultural Psychotherapy, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, cross-cultural relationship, adjustment issues, addiction, bipolar. Raffles Medical Clinic. For more information email cope_theodore@rafflesmedical.com

Leon Lee, English and Mandarin, available seven days a week for adults, teens and couples in Chaoyang. RMB 600. Positive and Transcultural Psychotherapy. WeChat: leonptp (Assistant, Michael).

Titi Hill, BSc, MBACP. Individuals, couples, families. Weekdays in Shunyi, 798 and Chaoyang. RMB 950. For more information click here, here, call 186 1255 7824, or email info@beijingcounselling.com, or in- fo@hilldynamics.org. Titi Hill can also be reached via Skype at hilldynamics.

Ms. Masooma Kachelo, MS MFT, Certified Mindfulness Teacher, English. Works weekdays in the Shunyi/Chaoyang area. 15 years of experience. Uses mindfulness-based approaches for working with women suffering from depression, anxiety, and trauma related relational challenges. WeChat: mindfulturn-mas

Other Resources:

In crisis? Lifeline Shanghai offers free and confidential support via telephone from 10am – 10pm, 365 days a year. They are located in Shanghai but available to talk to anyone in China: tel. 400 821 1215.

Problems with alcohol? Click here for the Beijing chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous or call 189 1161 8759.

Bearapy offers wellness consulting and training to help make workplaces mentally healthy. For more information click here, or email client@bearapy.me

Photo: Pixabay

Video games, like many other things in life, can obviously be bad for you. Many people become totally addicted to them, and can’t stop playing them. There have been accounts of people who have even died because they spent so long playing games without stopping, and other people who are totally sucked into the virtual world and spend the majority of their time glued to a screen.

However, video games aren’t usually the thing to blame. Quite often, people who spend an extreme amount of time playing video games are just using them as a medium to hide from some sort of issue they are facing, much like drug or alcohol abuse. People who spend many hours playing video games can be suffering from mental illnesses, such as depression, loneliness, or anxiety, and they use video games to distract themselves from their problems.

However, the way mainstream media represent video games is mostly incorrect. Many news outlets have blamed crimes on video games and how they “corrupt” children, but this simply isn’t true and is demonization of video games. Many studies have disproven the theory that video games cause corruption and ruin children’s lives.

So you may be wondering, then how are video games good for you? Video games can be beneficial for you in many ways, if used correctly and in the context of a healthy lifestyle. According to the University of Wisconsin psychologist C. Shawn Green, playing video games changes the brain’s physical structure in the same way as learning to read, or playing the piano. So I would argue that if you use video games correctly then it can have the same benefits as playing the piano or reading a book. Here are just a few examples of areas in which video games can help you: problem solving and logic, hand-eye coordination, and multitasking.

It really depends on which games you play. There are a multitude of game genres; for example in the genre FPS (First Person Shooter) there are many kinds of games. Some have no tactical requirements or strategies, however there are also many other games which are tactically-driven, such as “Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege.” Games such as this can be beneficial for your brain, because you need to make many split-second decisions.

The brain is a muscle, much like those in your arms or legs, and if you exercise a muscle enough, then it will become stronger. So if you play enough video games, or read enough books or practice whatever it is you want to get good at, then your brain will become faster and stronger and more powerful.

A lot of schools ban video games, and they say that they are harmful for students. However, the misconception that video games make you behave violently or makes you misbehave in school is not entirely true, as evidenced above. On the contrary, I believe that if schools slot in a dedicated time for playing video games, and you need to behave well so that you can play during a specific time, then that could really motivate students. Also, if you allow some amount of gaming inside schools, then it would be easier to identify students who may be addicted or have a problem, so the school can give them the appropriate help.

In my opinion video games aren’t bad for you, and I think the main reason people mislabel video games is because of a lack of understanding. The benefits are misunderstood, and there is a lack of mass education about video games. The majority of people that don’t like video games probably haven’t tried them, because they can be fun and even educational!

This article appeared in the beijingkids July-August 2019 Teen Takeover issue

It never occurred to me to look into the damage that can be caused by simply watching more television than one should or spending too much time using multiple devices. Television has and will most likely continue to be a pastime that transcends all or most generations. The nature of television continues to evolve and adapt to the times in which we live; becoming more interactive by the year and keeping us all up to date with information pertaining to every whim popular culture decides is relevant to our lives, keeping our children entertained and enthralled and of course providing an electronic oasis of escapism for whoever needs or wants it.

Growing up with a little brother with special needs who was obsessed with Scooby Doo is what first brought my attention to a book entitled, Remotely Controlled. My brother was not only obsessed with watching this and other similarly paced cartoons, but it was his behavior during and after these colorful episodes that made me conscious about the harm they could be doing. A lot of my brothers’ obsession with cartoons had every bit to do with the need they met to not only provide entertainment but also function as a source of repetition that a child on the spectrum so craves.

We all have come to learn, of course, that the digital age and its many partners in crime; smartphones, tablets, and laptops – have made addicts of us. If the somewhat well-rounded, educated individual can become addicted to screen time what could be the potential impact on children and the more vulnerable among this group: children with learning challenges. While reading Remotely Controlled, I was provided with succinct answers to why my little brother behaved in certain ways and why many cartoons are produced in such a way that can lead to both short- and long-term effects on a child’s behavior; their interaction with others, their relationship with time, tasks, and language.

The need for constant stimulation, instant gratification, and the inability to handle complex problems that do not have quick solutions are all contributing factors spurred on by too much time with the small screen.

My brother would hurriedly try and repeat every word spoken within a segment of Scooby Doo while mimicking every exaggerated movement the animated pencil strokes made. His actions seemed erratic but it was purely a mirroring of what he was consuming. In turn more controlled and calming activities would go by the wayside and I could tell that his issues with speech and learning were only being exacerbated by his constant consumption of television.

To my surprise and elation (my concerns were given validation) Scooby Doo was actually given a mention and used as a prime example of cartoons that contain multiple jump-cut edits that can be cognitively harmful if watched repeatedly. A jump-cut edit basically results in transitions from scene to scene happening almost simultaneously. Conceptually, time breaks down into smaller, quicker, more instantaneous pockets of action. For example, Scooby and his gang could go from running through a deep forest to taking refuge in a cave within half a second. We miss what it takes to get the group of mystery busters through the forest and into the cave – we miss the journey.

Why is this important? Well, we must all learn patience; we must all learn to apply ourselves to tasks that will often take more than 60 seconds to achieve. We must all learn to enjoy longer-awaited forms of gratification. We must all learn to listen more than one should speak and of course always improve upon a very old art form – communication.  According to analytics company, Nielsen, 2-5-year-olds watch more than 32 hours of television a week, adversely affecting speech, behavior, and brain development. We all have the right to have our health and development prioritized over the mass consumption of something that has been proven to cause severe harm.

New Research at London’s Institute of Psychiatry concludes that attention deficit disorder (ADHD) is a real problem in children and that early exposure to television during critical periods of brain development (adolescence) can be associated with subsequent attentional problems. In Remotely Controlled, Psychologist Dr. Sigmund speaks on the importance of proposing the following when raising young children in the home and there are some extra tips thrown in for families who want to curb screen time!

• Limit television time to no more than an hour a day for 1-5 year-olds
• Make use of other play and past time activities. Replace the tablet with a book, board game, crafts, or a favorite toy
• If the television must have a home in your house, then make it the living area. No television in children’s bedrooms.
• Remove cellphones from children’s bedrooms at night and return them in the morning after breakfast
• Sit down as a family and discuss how you would all like to manage your screen time. Make a plan and stick to it!

The World Health Organization has recently recognized video game addiction as a mental health disorder, listing it in the International Classification of Diseases. This has once again reignited the vexed debate about how much time children spend in front of screens.

In my family, this is a debate which is rehearsed weekly, if not daily. My wife hates video games and has often threatened to throw our game console out of the window. The only thing that’s stopped her is that the console doesn’t belong to the kids; it’s mine.

I have played video games my whole life, being old enough to have owned one of the very first Pong games as a child. We loved it, but I think it’s safe to say there was no risk of getting addicted to knocking a square ball around a TV screen with a sliding paddle.

Space Invaders and Pacman were too expensive for a child of my background, although a friend of mine developed a genuinely problematic addiction to fruit machines, which culminated in him being caught stealing to feed his habit. However, the advent of personal computers was a turning point; like many others, I persuaded my parents to get us one on the basis that it would be “educational”, then spent hours playing Manic Miner and Jet Set Willy.

In fact though, those early computers really were educational. They were so primitive that you needed some basic understanding of coding just to use them. I used to write my own games, and ironically if I’d spent more time indoors in front of a screen it could have led to a lucrative career. Instead, I joined a band and spent my summers in garages and dank rehearsal rooms.

I continued to play games, however, and have watched the form evolve over the decades. Video games seem to me to be in a similar place to cinema a hundred years ago: still developing, often at the center of moral panics, but well on the way to becoming the dominant narrative art form of the century.

To non-gamers, that may seem a ludicrous claim but if you think games are just about blowing up aliens, then you really should check out some recent releases. Big “AAA” productions have more scope and ambition that Hollywood blockbusters, and often better storytelling. Meanwhile, the independent scene often features quieter games focused on relationships rather than action, exploring emotional and moral conundrums. (Full disclosure: blowing up aliens remains a popular theme too.)

So I refuse to let my PlayStation be thrown out of the window and I don’t want to deprive my kids of something which has given me so much pleasure over the years. Besides, the ability to play and discuss games is important socially for their generation.

There is nothing innately addictive about video gaming. It gives pleasure, which releases dopamine in the brain. It’s the constant attempt to regain that dopamine high, with constantly diminishing returns, which leads to addictive behavior, whether the chosen addiction is gaming, gambling, or social media.

Of course, games are designed to encourage “just one more go”. The best provide enough challenge to keep you engaged without being so hard that you’re deterred. And kids find it hard to know when to stop. Screens and sugar, I always say, are the two things which children can’t be trusted to regulate themselves.

So the answer, like most things in family life, is compromise and variety. Game playing is allowed at agreed times during the week, and it’s a privilege which can be (and often is) withdrawn as a sanction for misbehavior. Outside that time no gaming is allowed, even sneaky minigames on a smartphone.

I refuse to believe that children sink into addiction when their parents are properly engaged with their lives, taking an interest in them and sharing interests with them. My kids play video games, but they also ride bikes, play sports and music, go to museums and art galleries, and hang out with their friends.

Blaming addiction on the addictive activity, when it’s one that many enjoy without harm, is a cop-out. It lets addicts disclaim responsibility for their own behavior, and parents off the hook for their responsibility to their children.

Photo: Filipe Fortes via Flickr

Food has been very important to me. I have worked as a chef for 15 years, so my life has revolved around food for some time. My mother is a very healthy cook and we had no unhealthy snacks or fizzy drinks around at home. As a teenager does, I would go out to buy unhealthy food, and when I left home at 17 the culinary world was my oyster – or at least the chips and candy lane at the grocery store. My food obsession did not end there. I always had a super healthy appetite, but luckily never really gained weight; I always was thin and stayed around a healthy 60 kilos.

The first time I thought I was fat in College

But even at this weight I felt overweight. Society, and the media, made me believe I was fat. We make our daughters think that they should look like the models in the magazines, forgetting that health and happiness are most important in a young girl’s life – most important in anybody’s life. Having had struggles with mental health problems and medical problems, I now know that looks are not everything.

But then I moved to Texas, and as we know everything is bigger in Texas, including the portion sizes. I always felt like I need to empty all the food on my plate, so slowly I started gaining weight. Food has always made me happy, cooking it, buying it and eating it. Finding a different way to achieve happiness is one of my new goals. Sugar and chocolate would be the greatest offenders making me as overweight as I am today. Keeping me awake and happy for short periods of time, sugar is the most addictive food group out there. I tried to eliminate sugar from my diet and the effects were like kicking a drug habit. This only confirms my fears that sugar is indeed a drug for me.

Tribe Cookie Without Sugar

I needed to step away from buying, cooking and ordering food, having failed many times in achieving a healthy balanced lifestyle. Tribe has created a menu for me lasting a month with no added extra sugars: three snacks and three meals a day, with varied and balanced dishes. Each morning a delivery arrives at 7am with my food for the day. It feels like a relief to not having to cook or go to 7/11 for lunch and then gorge on unhealthy stuff. The mission now is to start treating food as a way to nourish my body and soul, instead of using it as a celebration for happiness or a reward for sadness.

Tribe Nutrition Lunch

Tribe Nutrition Dinner

Pauline is a passionate international mother who wants to show that Beijing is not a unhealthy city, proving that its possible to become a healthy mother and woman, with the right support and resources. Mommy friends, colleagues, family, Tribe Nutrition, B Active Fitness, and now the rest of Beijing will be her support, proving that every mother deserves to have a healthy body and mind; tackling her own food issues along the way and showing the rough, the ugly and honest way she does this.

Tribe Nutrition offers a promo of 5% off for anyone that purchases a meal plan that’s 2 weeks or longer. Promo Code is “TNPAULINE5”  Get on that healthy train with me!

Picture Credit Pixabay and Pauline van Hasselt

When I think about getting healthy again, I think about moving more freely, being able to play with my child without huffing and puffing. I dread sitting on the ground with her, because getting up is painful. Let’s face it, It is unhealthy to be 105 kg; problems with breathing and pain in your knees are some of the issues that are associated with a obese body. I wish I could be fat and fabulous, but it won’t last I am afraid.

Some of the other benefits of being morbidly obese (as the doctor called me): my Dutch grandmother calling me fat, and explaining that at least I will look forever young as my wrinkles are filled with fat. Chinese old ladies touching my belly because they think I am pregnant. Ripping out of your favorite jeans because the inside of your thighs rub together – I have lost countless jeans this way. Not being able to wear dresses because those thighs will rub together till they bleed. I broke a plastic chair in a ice cream parlor; granted it was already half broken and not great quality, but nevertheless very embarrassing when you want to sit down with your big butt and eat ice cream.

I always joke that I became a chef not because I love to cook, but because I love to eat. As they say, never trust a skinny chef. The joke has caught up on me, and is not so funny anymore. Food is not a substitute for love, nor will it make you feel better. I know that now, but it’s hard to break the cycle, it’s almost like a addiction. My thoughts before I go to get lunch at 7-Eleven: “I’ll get some sushi and salad.” My thoughts when I am in the 7-Eleven: “chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.” And it’s always a great idea to buy the chocolate as I “deserve it”… but do I really?

I needed a break from food, thinking about it, cooking it, and buying it. I needed some time to reset my brain, and tackle my food issues. Tribe Nutrition has agreed to take care of my food for a month, giving me the much-needed space to revisit my health needs, while nourishing me with three meals and three snacks a day. I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders as I don’t have to “hunt” for my food, usually ending up in an unhealthy lunch and dinner.

My plan of attack is to tackle my food addiction and get myself to move more. I found a personal trainer at BActive, who will be training me three times a week. No daunting classes, but some one on one time to give my health a kick start. Over the course of one month my trainer will help me with five aspects to improve my health: stamina, strength, balance, coordination and mindset.

It looked so simple to sit like this…….. it’s not

I have completed three training sessions, and let’s be honest its daunting walking into a gym with all these fit people and bodies that are “done.” But I persevere, I do those five more crunches, I do that one more lift, I do those 20 minutes of cardio, and I sweat like a pig. I am embarrassed when I look in the mirror, I cry, because all this body is in the way of my making normal healthy movements.

This first week was extra hard, but my grandmother also said wise things: “If the beginning is really hard, it means that the rest can only get better.” And I hold on to that thought because it means that I get to play with my four year old daughter in good health.

Pain, Sweat, and Tears

Pauline is a passionate international mother who wants to show that Beijing is not a unhealthy city, proving that it’s possible to become a healthy mother and woman, with the right support and resources. Mommy friends, colleagues, family, Tribe Nutrition, BActive Fitness, and now the rest of Beijing will be her support, proving that every mother deserves to have a healthy body and mind; tackling her own food issues along the way and showing the rough, the ugly and honest way she does this.

Picture Credit: Hailie Personal Trainer

When I first came to China, foreign video console games were banned–not that I had noticed given the number of stores selling them illegally by Nanluoguxiang and in tech areas, such as Zhongguancun. It was only when I inquired on the high cost of consoles and their games, especially when compared to PC games, that I was told they’re actually black market products. Good, I thought, now my husband has no reason to buy the latest Playstation.

While parents debate over screen time and the possible harmful effects of gaming, game developers are creating educational games that encourage social responsibility, environmental awareness, and social skills. And let’s not forget those fun games that teach kids to code–because, as we all know, programmers are the future doctors and lawyers in our society!

Researchers have been confusing all of us with their zigzagging, one minute opposing all gaming for its fictionalization and violence, and the next minute singing its praises. The most recent fact everyone seems to agree on is that video games are mostly harmless and can stimulate a child’s brain in a positive way. So there you go! Games are good for kids, hence why the console/game ban was lifted, and life is good, right?

Wrong. Online gaming, one of the largest growing industry in China, is also China’s new evil. The industry only grows because the number of players grow. Although there have been attempts to prevent minors from gaining access to online games, the numerous internet cafes all over the country allow anyone to play 24/7, or until they run out of money.  Sometimes, teens don’t just run out of money, they run out of food, water, or even their lives.

Online gaming addiction has become such a big issue that suspicious boot camps have opened up shop, beating the addiction out of kids.  Rehabilitation centers for misbehaving children are usually just kids who would rather play games than study, but are treated as if they’re headed to juvi. Recent headlines showcased an angry girl who, upon escaping from a four-month-long, hellish experience at such a boot camp, tortured and killed her mother in revenge.

This is not the first time China has attempted to control the gaming habits of its youth.  In March 2011, China had released “The Parents’ Guardian Project for Minors Playing Online Games”, which gave parents the right to monitor their children’s gaming habits directly from the game operator’s website.  Game operators were required to have a special login for parents, so that parents could firstly, see how much time their kids were spending online, and secondly, request restrictions on their child’s account or freeze/delete the account entirely. The project clearly wasn’t successful given that a new project has been proposed.

The new proposed project, aimed to instill a night-time curfew for gaming minors, was first implemented in South Korea. In that project, they prevented under 15 year olds from playing online games between midnight and 6am, slowing down their network speed considerably (we, behind the Great Wall, know what that’s like!). In China, Global Times reports that players who are below legal age would be prevented from gaming from midnight to 7am.  The idea being that all players must register with an ID, but fake IDs are prevalent and authorities have not been vigilant about requiring all the country’s game operators to comply.

Or at least they haven’t in all the games that I have played in China…

Photo credit: Pixabay, Battlenet