The fuss over the "Tiger Mom" meme may have subsided since Yale Professor and Super-Mom Amy Chua’s best-selling book came out in 2011, but the notion that super-strict, stereotypically East Asian-style parenting is somehow a formula for academic success still strikes a chord with many parents. 

Slate ran an article this week discussing University of Texas associate professor Su Yeong Kim’s research into Asian-American families and the results "may surprise Chua and her admirers."

Kim had been following more than 300 Asian-American families for a decade when the book came out. In March, she published her results; they will no doubt surprise Chua and her admirers. Children of parents whom Kim classified as “tiger” had lower academic achievement and attainment—and greater psychological maladjustment—and family alienation, than the kids of parents characterized as “supportive” or "easygoing.”

Read on to find out how and why she came to this conclusion here and feel free to share your thoughts below.

A recent opinion piece in The Global Times got me thinking about cultural differences in parenting. The author was reacting to news of three 10-year old girls in Jiangxi jumping from a building together because they couldn’t bear to do homework anymore. 

The writer, herself the mother of a teenaged son, argues that soft parents are to blame for stripping their “little emperors” of the ability to fend for themselves:

If a toddler falls, Chinese parents would most likely help and blame the ground, to pacify the crying baby. Instead parents should allow children to stand up by themselves, so that they could learn that “falling is no big deal, it’s my own problem and fixing it makes me happy.”

This view is a common one in China, but that’s not how Western media view Asian parents.

It’s impossible to talk about tough parenting these days without mentioning Amy Chua, the infamous Tiger Mom. Chua has been demonized in the Western press for her “Chinese-style” parenting tactics, like calling her eldest daughter “garbage” or forcing her youngest to practice piano without water or bathroom breaks.

The term “Tiger Mom” has become short hand for a brand of cruel, no-holds-barred parenting. But is that really the whole story?

Chua later pointed out that the frequent clashes with her youngest daughter actually forced her to reconsider her stance on “extreme parenting.”

“I’ve been forced to answer questions about a book I didn’t write,” she said. “It’s not saying what people should do, it’s saying, ‘Here’s what I did, and boy did I learn a lesson.’ ”

In addition, the book was always meant as “a memoir, not a parenting guide.” That’s an important point, and it shows that even Tiger Moms have to suck it up and put away their claws sometimes.

The topic is especially timely considering the upcoming screening of “Race to Nowhere” by Vicki Abeles and Jessica Congdon at BCIS (Beijing City International School). The controversial American documentary argues that the parental obsession with academic achievements is having an unbearable toll on kids.

More information:

Mamas Worldwide: “Cultural Differences in Parenting”

Adriana Barton on The Globe and Mail: “Are You Raising a Bratty Kid?”

Bao Phi on Racialicious: “My late and messy reaction to this whole ‘Chinese Mothers Are Superior’ Hubbub”

Charlie Sheen, radiation and civil strife may be dominating the headlines in the US, but the now (in)famous “Tiger Mom” keeps popping up in the news like a nagging cough – a culmination, if you will, of Western anxiety over an ascendant China. At the time of writing, Chua and her husband were scheduled to give a talk the same day at the New York Public Library about parenting.

And as we reported earlier, former BeijingKids columnist Alan Paul has also been making waves lately with his book Big in China, a movie deal in the works and now a new post on the Wall Street Journal blogs aptly titled “Tiger Mom … Meet Panda Dad” in which he explains his “aversion to Tiger Parenting:”

“Living in a Beijing housing compound, I watched Western and African kids running through the streets in roving packs of fun-seekers while their Chinese friends looked dolefully out the window in the midst of long hours spent practicing violin, piano or character-writing. When they were done, they unwound by picking up video game consoles. It looked like a sad, lonesome way to grow up and nothing I would ever prescribe to my children. And of course it’s not the only style of Chinese parenting. I saw plenty of kids smashing these same stereotypes.”

Read the rest of the post here.

Also riding on the wave of Tiger Mom-mania is young adult novelist Cara Chow’s upcoming book, Bitter Melon, written from the perspective of a “Tiger Cub:”

“Though I have a very positive relationship with my mother today, we struggled a lot when I was a teen. My mother wanted me to be the best, and her way of motivating me was by being very hard on me. Unfortunately, I was a very sensitive kid, so I took my mother’s words and actions personally. This not only strained our relationship for many years, but it also affected my confidence and self-image well into my twenties. As I got older, I realized that many of my friends and acquaintances also had issues with their parents and with success and failure. I also realized that those who didn’t have these problems could not understand the angst that drove those who did. I wrote Bitter Melonfor both groups of people, to give a voice to the former while educating the latter, in a way that was entertaining and compelling.”

More here.

Tune into the beijingkids blog each Thursday as we take you on a quick tour of items from around the web, all relating (however tangentially) to parenthood and family life in Beijing. Previous posts can be viewed here.

1. Pop quiz: What’s the proper distance to keep in an elevator? A lot of people coming to Beijing for the first time are flummoxed by poor public behavior such as spitting, refusing to queue up, and ignoring traffic rules. Now comes news that China’s education ministry is making public courtesy a part of the curriculum in schools nationwide. Among the courtesies on tap for teaching in primary schools are observing traffic rules and proper table manners; middle schoolers will be taught email and text-messaging etiquette, and high schoolers will be taught to "keep proper distance from other people when they are queuing or using elevators."

2. Superstardom is for wimps, try motherhood: One of China’s foremost celebrities is singer Faye Wong, who lives in Beijing with her two young children and actor husband Li Yapeng. Wong, who took a breather from her musical career for motherhood but came back to the limelight with a recent concert tour, unequivocally declares that it’s far more exhausting to be a mom than it is to be an internationally-known superstar.

3. It’s bedtime, little ones: According to a recent poll from the Beijing Times, more than half of China’s primary and middle school students go to bed after 10pm and suffer from a chronic lack of sleep. Half of all parents polled indicated that they have noticed the lack of sleep has affected their children’s memory and thinking. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, as now reports are coming out that children that lack sleep are more likely to be obese. Think Beijing doesn’t have an obesity problem? The People’s Daily reports that 31% of all Beijing men are now classified as overweight

4. Amy Chua hits the bookshelves in Beijing: OK, last week I promised no more on Tiger Mother Amy Chua, but this one has a nice local spin: The Chinese translation of Chua’s book "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" hit Beijing bookstores last week (you can also buy it online at joyo.com here). Most interesting is to compare the title in Chinese with its English original. Here’s a quick translation of the book cover back into English: The main title is: I’m a Mother in America: The Parenting Handbook from a Yale Law Professor while the bright red strip at the bottom reads: This story proves: In educating children, eastern parents are more successful than western parents.

5. It’s that damn ‘western lifestyle’ problem again: Incidence of cancer in Chinese children under 14 years of age is on the rise, according to this article. The incidence is now 1.04 per 10,000 children, which puts it in the same range as rates in the US. Sited as potential causes for the increase were: long-term exposure to chemicals used in home decoration; obesity; high-calorie diets; physical inactivity, and the "adoption of a Western lifestyle."

6. Now serving #7,943: Many of Beijing’s hospitals are overcrowded, and Beijing’s Children’s Hospital is no exception, with between 7,000 to 8,500 patients visiting every day. Anyone who’s been there knows of the necessity of "registering" — which in essence turning up in person to get a number. A lucrative black market has developed over the years for the numbers, alleviating the need for parents to bring their sick children in and wait in line for hours to get treatment. So how is Beijing’s hospital attempting to resolve this issue? By creating another level of bureaucracy, in which you now have to pre-register to register for a number, with your child in tow. Scalpers says the new regulation has not put a dent in their numbers business.

7. Two new children’s hospitals: With the above in mind, it’s good to hear that part of Beijing’s new 5-year plan includes a proposal for creating two new childrens’ hospitals in the city to help alleviate the crush on the Beijing Children’s Hospital and the Capital Institute of Pediatrics, which treat an estimated 90% of all sick children in the city (as parents almost always choose top-reputation, specialist hospitals rather than the pediatrics wards of lesser-regarded hospitals). Proposed locations for the new hospitals would be in the suburbs, such as Changping or Tongzhou.

8. Who says you can’t have two? An interesting legal battle is brewing in Beijing between a law professor and the government, after the prof was handed a fine of RMB 240,000 for having a second child. Yang Zhizhu, who has been relieved from his duties at his school since the dispute arose, claims that that "there are no laws or regulations mentioning the concept of having children illegally" and that the fine levied is disproportionate to his actual income, which currently is close to zero.

9. Learning acceptance: This is a bit of a dated article (from October 2010) from the China Daily that deals with a very delicate subject: parents in Beijing learning to accept their gay offspring. The article reports on a meeting of 200 people — parents with their gay or lesbian offspring — where they discussed how this non-traditional lifestyle can be accepted in a historically very traditional society.

10. Wonder if he hangs out in Sanlitun? 16-year-old New Yorker Spencer Langerman is one of a handful of Americans in Beijing on study abroad programs, and CNN profiles him in this piece. In it he says that despite the difference in teaching and learning styles between the countries, it’s not all that different — after all, teens in both countries "love basketball, listen to pop music and watch American films."

Overachieving Chinese students have been a hot topic lately in the Western press and now comes this Op/Ed piece ("Why Chinese Mothers are Superior") in today’s Wall Street Journal from Chinese American Yale law professor Amy Chua.

Some of the ideas expressed within are incendiary, to say the least, and the author sums it all up by stating:

"Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away."

Over 1,800 comments (and counting) have been left by readers on the WSJ and BeijingKids readers are sounding off here. You can buy Chua’s new book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, on Amazon here.

Meanwhile, over at the New York Times, resident China pundit Nicholas Kristof writes about Beijing resident Hou Yifan ("China Rises, and Checkmates"), the new women’s world chess champion who many claim is on par with the world’s top male players and whom Kristof cites as yet another example of China’s rising power – a consistent theme in many of his articles (and not unlike those nagging Chinese mothers who ceaselessly compare their kids achievements with those of other families). Check out the reader comments here.

But beyond all this news about Chinese students and educational philosophy, another question comes to mind: just how far will some Americans go in setting up their straw men?