For families in Beijing, finding a welcoming and low-pressure environment for toddlers can feel like a treasure hunt. For Rebecca Carter, a British mom with two boys, ages three and 18 months old, in Beijing, that treasure is found at British School of Beijing (BSB) Sanlitun—even though it’s an hour-long taxi ride from her home.

We spoke with Rebecca to find out why the BSB Sanlitun playgroup has become a non-negotiable part of her weekly routine.

Rebecca’s journey with BSB began last year during a special summer playgroup session. At the time, she brought both of her sons, then 2.5 years old and 9 months old. While her oldest has since started at a local kindergarten, her youngest has become a regular attendee. “We attend most weeks,” Rebecca shares.

So, what keeps them coming back? According to Rebecca, it’s the perfect blend of structure and freedom. “It’s very fun,” she says. “It’s such a relaxed atmosphere, and there’s a lot for the kids to do.” Each week, the playgroup offers a variety of activities designed to engage little ones. “Each week they put out a different messy play for the kids to enjoy, and there’s always blocks, soft play, books, and mini cars for them to zip around on.”

And the best part, it’s free!

For Rebecca’s youngest son, the routine is clear: “He always makes a beeline for the messy play corner. Then he goes and climbs all over the soft play area. He also loves the trampolines, the little cars, and the basketball area.” After about an hour of burning off that energy, the pair settles down for a snack and a drink, which gives Rebecca a chance to chat and make friends.

Living in Haidian, Rebecca admits the commute isn’t trivial. However, she believes BSB Sanlitun offers one of the best activities for families in Beijing. “I’ve watched my youngest grow and gain confidence. At first, he clung to me and needed me to go where he went. Now he roams freely, checking in occasionally.”

The community is another major draw.

The group evolves as children grow and move on to daycare, Rebecca says the core remains welcoming. “The same people tend to go each week, so generally you see the same faces, and everyone is friendly.” That sense of community recently extended beyond the playgroup. When the session was cancelled for one week, one of the mums organized a group outing to a different soft play center. For Rebecca, who lives in an area with few foreign parents, the opportunity for English-speaking “mum talk” is invaluable.

She also appreciates the school’s respectful approach. “Obviously, we were asked if we wanted to join the school (we do), but when I told them we lived too far away and couldn’t, there was no pressure put on us, and we weren’t asked again.”

If you are considering attending, Rebecca says you can expect a diverse and welcoming crowd. “A mix! There are Chinese families, but also a wide range of European and North American families. Kids’ ages range from about eight months to three years, so your child will surely find a play friend.”

Rebecca is already looking forward to the summer, and she has her eye on a new attraction. “I’m extremely excited to see the new pool opening in the summer and perhaps take my son swimming.” She has also heard great things about other offerings at the school. “I have also heard that the Baby Dance and Book Club are great as well from other mums who live locally.”

Her advice to other parents is simple. It doesn’t matter if you’re a bit shy or if you’re nervous about playdates. “I would absolutely recommend joining! I hope to see others at BSB soon. Please come and say hi if you join!”

Images: British School of Beijing Sanlitun

Whether you are a seasoned veteran expat or as fresh in the ‘Jing as this season’s mozzies, we can all agree that living in Beijing is a colorful, surprising, and exciting experience. No matter how much research you have done in advance, we have all encountered cultural differences that blew us away, and the differences between our child-rearing ways are no different.

If you plan on having babies, have babies, or even if you don’t, here are some of our favorite (and not-so-favorite) cultural occurrences when it comes to little ones to look out for during your time in Beijing!

Bummed OUT!

Quite literally, in fact. It is not uncommon to see babies or toddlers running around wearing split pants (开裆裤 kāidāngkù), which, if you haven’t seen them yet, are pants with an open crotch, more often than not without any diapers! So, yes, you have a little baby bum wiggling about in public. And while my first split-pants sighting made me do a double-take, the Chinese (especially grandparents) have quite logical reasons for this practice. Besides saving on the costs and waste of diapers, an air-dried bum prevents diaper rash, especially during the hot summer months, and they believe it encourages early potty training by getting the baby used to squatting and doing their business, not in a diaper. Consequently, this also means that it is completely normal for someone to hold their baby in a squatting position over a trash can, drain, or bush while they go potty.

As this practice is so different from the culture of most expats in Beijing, people come across this and react in all kinds of ways. Some have called it unsanitary and unsafe; others applaud the frugality and sustainability. I have even experienced foreigners joining in on the bare-butt action with their own babies! What do you think? Yay or nay?

Locked In!

Giving birth is such a monumental moment that, of course, there are a multitude of practices around this milestone all over the globe. While the Huichol in Mexico have the woman tug on a rope tied to her partner’s testicles with every contraction, and some people dressed as devils jump over infants in Spain to absorb original sin and protect the babies from evil or sickness, in China they have the confinement month or 坐月子 (zuòyuèzi). This means that the new mom is not allowed to go outside, bathe or shower (although those things are less common now that there is AC and blow dryers), eat or interact with anything cold, and will often hire a confinement nurse (or yuesao) to help take care of her and the baby. For those who don’t want to hire a confinement nurse but still want to do a traditional confinement month, there are confinement centers 月子中心 (yuèzi zhōngxīn) that offer the same service, but you get your own private hotel-like suite where you can rest and a nurse is always on call to help take care of your newborn.

Expat moms often suffer at the hands of this practice, as Chinese locals will sometimes criticize, lecture, or even scold them when they do something considered a “no-no” during the confinement month. I have been hit on the shoulder before by an old lady for being outside with my baby within the first month, while other moms have been told by their ayis or Chinese in-laws to immediately cease their showering ways. Of course, eating an ice cream is completely out of the question! (Though that is a rule I will be breaking repeatedly after giving birth this summer, for sure!) While some of the customs might seem annoying or unnecessary, there are also perks! If you registered your birth at the local clinic in order to get the free vaccines and check-ups for your baby (available to absolutely any pregnant mom), then you will also benefit from two medical professionals – one for you and one for your baby – coming to your home for a check-up.

Since moms are expected to remain in pajamas and not do any physical activity during confinement month, you don’t even have to get dressed! They will come and see that everything is progressing normally, ask you a few questions (in our case via translator), and finally give you some tips and information about caring for a newborn – all for free!

Bundle Up!

No matter the weather, hot or cold, Chinese babies in Beijing are always in layers and layers of clothes and blankies…even in July. If I had RMB 1 for every time a Chinese person (of any age and gender) told me that my baby is cold and I need to put more clothes on her, I would probably be able to buy all the naughty ice creams I’ll need during my first month postpartum.

The biggest struggle for expat parents – particularly those with a Chinese partner or who have hired a yuesao or ayi – is the endless cycle of you taking extra layers off your baby, and them putting them back on again. Anyone who has lived in China long enough knows that cold is basically the enemy. From drinking hot water (to cure ANY issue short of death) to eating food as soon as it is cooked and still scalding, locals will do whatever they can to avoid the cold – even when we expats think there isn’t any cold to avoid.

100 Days Down!

While some of the cultural differences you’ll experience in Beijing are cute, some are beneficial, and others possibly frustrating, this next tradition is something I love about being here. In ancient times, when child mortality rates were quite high, reaching 100 days was cause for celebration. Despite it not being such a feat anymore, the tradition, like the babies, lives on! And who doesn’t like an excuse to have a party? The family will often shower the baby with gifts like baby items, gold jewelry, and hongbao (red envelopes).

This is often also when they give the baby their first haircut – to encourage thicker hair regrowth. Included in this is a super sweet tradition of making a calligraphy brush with the cut hair. There are plenty of shops (also on Taobao) that will inexpensively make the brush for you and frame it with wishes of prosperity written in Chinese calligraphy, along with the baby’s name, which makes an adorable keepsake. In my culture, we also sometimes keep a lock of hair from the first haircut. Turning it into a framed calligraphy brush definitely makes it easier to keep and cherish.

First Birthday, Final Bearing!

Another very cool tradition is what Chinese families do with their babies on their first birthdays: the item grab, or 抓周 (zhuāzhōu). The baby is placed on a mat surrounded by items that represent careers, and whichever item the baby grabs could then predict what their future career path or traits will be. The items and their represented careers could include:

Pen = scholar
Money = wealth
Stethoscope = doctor
Garlic = savvy businessman
Microphone = performer

There are zhuazhou kits online that include a red cloth and the basic essentials for different career paths.

Things to consider if you are invited to a zhuazhou: It is customary to bring a sincere gift. While some more modern parents take the tradition lightly, many families still take the item grabbing very seriously, so avoid laughing at the results or making the tradition out to be silly. Go the extra mile and offer a true Chinese congrats by saying, “祝宝宝健康成长” (Zhù bǎobǎo jiànkāng chéngzhǎng) – “Wishing the baby a healthy growth.”

From how we dress to what we believe, when encountering different cultures, we are bound to find differences that intrigue us. One of the great benefits of expat life is seeing all the different ways things can be done, and sometimes we even end up adopting a few practices into our own ways of doing things. Let us know in the comments which of the cultural confetti shocked or impressed you the most!

Images: Stock, Janita Shahsavari

For most expatriates, it seems like a clear cut decision to go private for our healthcare needs, much less when it comes to our maternity needs. That’s why it’s so refreshing to hear from two expatriate mothers who made the unique decision to give birth at local public hospitals in Beijing. What’s more, after going through the whole shebang, with its share of ups and downs, they would do it all over again. We at jingkids just had to talk to these two moms who dared to be different and demystify the process of giving birth at a Chinese public hospital. 

We last spoke with Rebecca Carter in an interview welcoming her family to Beijing, and she has since delivered her second baby at the Sixth Medical Center of the General Hospital of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army (PLA) (中国人民解放军总医院第六医学中心). Funny story though: Until her 36th week of pregnancy, she had all her doctors’ visits and appointments at a different public hospital – Beijing Integrated Traditional and Western Medicine Hospital (北京中西医结合医院) – which abruptly announced its closure at the end of August. With her baby time bomb ticking down, Rebecca scrambled to find a different public hospital in which to deliver her baby and managed to settle on the PLA’s hospital.

Thankfully, Alfred Carter was born happy and healthy on Sep 12 after a somewhat smooth Caesarean operation. There were a couple of hiccups, which we will delve into later, but nothing major. The best part? The bill came to RMB 11,500, inclusive of a four-night stay in the hospital, epidural, surgery, all medications, and even the hospital pajamas. Once the bill was paid, the deposit of RMB 30,000 that was required upfront was refunded in full. Including the pre-delivery medical bills at the now-defunct hospital, the total cost of welcoming Alfred Carter into Beijing was under RMB 25,000. 

In comparison, the standard maternity packages at private hospitals in Beijing start from RMB 100,000 and can go up exponentially. But it wasn’t just the cost that swayed both Rebecca and fellow expat mom Janita S to go public; it was that both expat mothers believe Beijing’s public hospitals are better equipped to handle any emergency medical issues. And in my research, this belief is echoed by many local mothers, especially those above the recommended age of having babies.

Janita told us: “I had a friend who was told by her doctor that she should go to the local hospital to have her baby due to the likelihood of complications in her pregnancy. It does make sense to me. After all, public hospitals have more varied resources like the neonatal intensive care units (NICU) and some of the best doctors in the country.”

For Janita, giving birth to her first child in the Maternal and Child Health Care Hospital in Chaoyang was more straightforward than Rebecca’s experience, since she managed to stay at the same hospital for the entire process. The labor still came with its own challenges, though, namely that she went into labor earlier than anticipated, so the English-speaking gynecologist who had been with her the whole pregnancy was not available and she ended up with a new doctor. Maybe something was lost in translation, or there was a clash of cultural differences, but the new doctor who delivered Janita’s baby did not see eye to eye with her about certain things, such as the need for anesthesia while getting stitched up after tearing during labor. 

Both Rebecca and Janita faced unique challenges at different public hospitals in Beijing, but certain aspects of their experiences overlapped, which leads us to believe these might be the norm in public hospitals. These are the similarities:

1. Nobody else was allowed to accompany them into the delivery room –not even their husbands. During the pregnancy, their husbands weren’t allowed in the OBGYN room during check-ups, either.
2. Rebecca and Janita were subject to varying levels of nakedness in front of several strangers as they were wheeled into the delivery room, while in the delivery room, and as they were returned to their hospital beds. Janita had a hospital gown, but Rebecca was quite naked and felt like “everything was on display for everyone.” 
3. Mobile devices were not allowed in the delivery room.

Having said that, we must acknowledge that Janita has been shopping various public hospitals to choose where she will deliver her second child in eight months. Armed with insights from her first experience, she is much more confident in what she is looking for and knows how to advocate for herself. She has now found two public hospitals – Beijing LiYing hospital of Maternity and Gynecology (北京俪婴妇产医院) and Peking University First Hospital – that permit husbands during medical check-ups, as well as in the labor room! 

It is precisely this sort of knowledge that she wants to share with us in order to address the mistaken preconceived notions many of us hold and to help guide us through the process of having children at public hospitals in Beijing.

Firstly, know that there are dedicated maternity and childcare hospitals in Beijing that are not nearly as crowded as general public hospitals. All the hospitals mentioned in this article are purely devoted to pregnancy and medical maternity needs. To ensure you choose a maternity hospital, Janita suggests searching “妇产医院” (fùchǎnyīyuàn) in your maps app to find one in your neighborhood. 

Secondly, language isn’t as big of an issue as you think. While a majority of the staff and doctors at public hospitals may not speak English fluently, there are some who can, as evidenced by Janita’s personal experience. At another public maternity hospital she visited recently (as part of her hospital shopping), the staff and doctors were perfectly happy to communicate in English with her. 

Having said that, it is best that you have a local friend who can be your translator, especially if things go south. It also helps if you have some basic Chinese skills and a translation app at the ready! 

Images: Courtesy of Rebecca Carter & Janita S.

KEEP READING: A New Club for Your Teenage Aspiring Doctors

After about a decade of living in Beijing I still need reminders that Beijing winters are extremely dry. There’s nothing wrong with my skin, it’s the weather.

This time of the year, your summertime skincare products need to be changed to something that’s thicker and possibly oil-based to prevent you from having dry itchy skin. And the same goes for your kid.

This winter, I thought my daughter had suddenly developed some kind of skin disease when she suddenly wouldn’t stop scratching her arms, legs, and tiny little butt cheeks and had little red marks all over. Then a friend reminded me about just how dry this weather is. A quick change to her skincare products, and all the itchiness was gone within days.

Here are the toddler-friendly products that may help your kids this winter:

Bodorme Baby Milk Bath Oil

Beijing’s water is harsh and hopefully you’ve installed your water filters all over the house. If not, contact Greenwave for the right type of filter for any type of faucet you have. The Bodorme Baby Mild Bath Oil helps soothe their skin while your child bathes. It’s a good one to ensure that they’ve got a nice layer of protection all over their body.

Aveno Baby Moisturing Massage Oil

I started using this for my toddler immediately following her bath while her skin is still damp. During the really dry winter months, oils work better than regular lotions at locking in moisture.

Sudocrem

This is a must-have for parents. It’s an antiseptic healing cream that can be used for diaper rash, eczema, sunburn, and small wounds. I started applying this to the scratches my daughter’s left on her arms, legs, and butt cheeks, and within days they were all gone.

Dermoplast

This is my go-to when it comes to heavy duty first aid. It’s not recommended for daily use, but when you need to keep your small child from scratching a wound, one spray and it’ll numb the entire surface. Be careful not to get any into your mouth and eyes!

Then, in general, add a humidifier to your home. They help alleviate the dryness in the air and keep nasal passages moist, reducing congestion. They also help in preventing dry skin and, as an added bonus (for some), they have a soothing white noise that helps kids sleep.

If you do have a humidifier at home, be sure to clean it often and thoroughly. Mold and residue in build up pretty quickly in humidifiers and can lead to health risks. The best way to clean is to use baking soda and vinegar to ensure that you’re not introducing any toxins into the machine. If you are using a ready-mixed cleaning solution, be sure it’s nontoxic.

Images: Taobao, Pexels

Got a little one at home and hoping that they will socialize with others their own age? I know that organizing plate dates time after time can get exhausting. Everyone’s got a different schedule, and meeting other parents with kids of a similar age is no small task. That’s why I always recommend that you find yourself some regular meetups to make life easier on yourself.

The British School of Beijing Sanlitun and Shunyi organizes weekly toddler meetups that are free and open to parents, whether you’re planning on attending their school or not. These Baby Groups are open to kids aged 0-3, and are a great way for babies to start socializing in a safe environment and for new parents to socialize and ask questions in a safe and educated environment.

There are a few rules though: 1) They organize these events to help foster bonds between parent and child, so you’re not allowed to send ayi to attend in your place, 2) Since the schools can only accept foreign passport holders, the events are only open to those with foreign passports.

Here’s what you can expect when you attend one of BSB’s playdates.

An Early Years teacher welcomes everyone and leads the kids in a friendly warmup with songs, games, and crafts. Then kids get to play with age-appropriate toys and enjoy the company of others their own age while parents spend the time bonding with their kids and socializing with other parents while enjoying snacks and drinks.

Since space is limited, we highly recommend that you book your spot in advance.

British School of Beijing Shunyi Baby Group

Upcoming Dates:
Thu, Sep 28 (due to holiday), Fri, Oct 13, 20 & 27
Time: 9.30-10.30am
Location: The British School of Beijing (BSB) Shunyi, Early Years “Soft Play Area”
Address: South Side, 9 Anhua Jie, Shunyi District
Tel: 8047 3558

To sign up, scan the QR code in the poster.

After the October holiday, over at BSB Sanlitun they’re relaunching their Baby Book Club and Baby Dance Classes as well. These groups are open to kids ages 0-3 years old and their parents.

• Baby Book Club – starting Mon, Oct 16; runs every Monday 9-9.30am
• Baby Group – starting Wed, October 18, runs every Wednesday 9-10.30am
• Baby Dance Class – starting Fri, Nov 3, runs every Friday 9-9.30am

To sign up for their events, scan the QR codes in the posters to register.

Images: British School of Beijing Sanlitun, British School of Beijing Shunyi

Enzo Rosenthal 

German/Mexican. Born Feb 8 to Evelyn Figueroa and Oliver Rosenthal at Beijing United Family Hospital.

Jaina Ann Foister 

American/Chinese. Born Jun 30 to Wang Sai and Caleb Aaron Foister at Beijing Hamonicare Women and Children Hospital.

William Francis Kerins III

American. Born Aug 31 to Danielle Yang and William Francis Kerins Jr. at Beijing United Family Hospital.

Marley Amira Defoe ’MAD’’

Indonesian/Dominican. Born May 1 to Ully Hutagalung-Defoe and Shagi Defoe at Oasis International Hospital.

Matthias Emil Simandan

Romanian. Born Jan 3 to Upashna Simandan and Voicu Mihnea Simandan at Beijing Hamonicare Women and Children Hospital.

Images: Courtesy of parents

This article appeared in the jingkids 2023 Graduation Issue

When my daughter was born my dad went through a phase where he’d tell me all about what it was like when I was a newborn. One of the things he talked about was my aunts making diapers for me in preparation of my arrival. He also told me about the “newborn flag” that all new parents raised on their balcony – aka, the clothesline of cloth diapers they had to hang up.

“Diapers nowadays are so much easier. You don’t know what it was like cleaning off your poop.” Gee, thanks, Dad…

But he has a point. Disposable diapers make life so much easier for new parents. But there are still plenty of parents today that choose to stick to cloth diapers – one of them being former jingkids Deputy Managing Editor Anna Pellegrin-Hartley.

Let’s put aside the obvious cons of cost and environmental impact that disposable diapers bring aside. Anna shares some first-hand pros and cons of cloth diapers.

Pros:

• Cute designs
• Can be better for babies with sensitive skin

Cons:

• More work with laundry
• Take some adjusting to, and experimentation
• More bulky so clothes fit differently and more to carry when you go out for the day
• Change more frequently

Other things to consider:

• There are a few different kinds of cloth diapers. Not all are the same
• Cloth wipes are great. They’re much better at cleaning up babies than disposable ones. They’re also a great, easy way to get into the idea of a washable baby products for those who are curious.
• Buying a second-hand starter stash is a great way to experiment without making a big investment.
• It’s not all or nothing. It’s convenient to use disposable for travel and overnight.

According to multiple forums online, cloth diapers help kids potty train quicker than those who wear disposable ones.

Being stuck in lockdown with a toddler who’s at the perfect age for potty training has got me thinking – why not put this time to some good use and see if cloth diapers really help her transition to big girl panties quicker?

For those looking for a second-hand starter pack like Anna recommended, check out these kid-friendly secondhand groups here.

Otherwise, got a baby laundry detergent you’d like to recommend? ‘Cause I have a feeling that my laundry machine is about to go into overdrive.

Images: Pexels

KEEP READING: Don’t Fall For “Sucker Prices” at Baby Gyms

Christopher Louis Cascianelli

Italian, Born Mar 16 to Elisabeth Boccalatte and Michael Cascianelli at Beijing United Family Hospital.

Dylan Marco Patrick O’Connor

Irish, Born Dec 22 to David O’Connor and Laura Malone at Oasis International Hospital.

Ertai Gao 

Chinese, Born Oct 28 to Ashley Gao and Emre Demir at Yuquan Hospital.

Isabel Valera

Multinational, Born Jan 25 to Romer Valera and Linda Valera at Oasis International Hospital.

Lian Josef Xin Uhl

German, Born Jun 8 to Laiyu Xin and Bernhard Josef Uhl at Beijing United Family Hospital.

Images: Courtesy of parents

This article appeared in the jingkids 2022 Teen Takeover issue

Amber Catherine He

British/Belarusian
Born Nov 4
to Anya Saniukevich and Tianran He
at Beijing Wuzhou Women and Children’s Hospital

Amelie Mao Janssen

German
Born Jun 24
to Ines Janssen and Mao Chucheng
at Oasis International Hospital

Michael Hu

Chinese
Born Jun 16
to Maria Ma and Naitao Hu
at Beijing Maternity Hospital

Quentin Feng

Chinese/Korean
Born Jul 15
to Jessie Zhao and Steven Feng
at Peking Union Medical College Hospital

Rohan Dhamelia Mitchell

British Born Sep 4
to Donica Dhamelia and James Mitchell
at Oasis International Hospital

Images: Courtesy of parents

This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 November-December issue