We moms, we do it all. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, your job is never done and it’s completely safe to say that our job is a 24/7 one!

For mommies who would like to carve out some extra time to hang out with the kids, enjoy self-care time, or even cook with a glass of wine in your hand rather than a milk bottle and a baby on your hip, these productivity tips will help you not only work better and get more things done, but also live the mantra of the day – work hard and play even harder.

Learn to say “no”

I find this incredibly difficult and feel like if I’m not doing a thousand and one things than I’m not being the modern woman of today, who can exude and demonstrate almighty physical and mental capabilities to do it all and then some. This one is at the top of the list because that’s exactly where it belongs. It should be a priority for busy moms and dads. Your family comes first.

Saying no applies to a number of situations. This month alone, I have been invited out at least twice a week to socialize and several other times to join my husband on account of his own personal invitations. Social obligations, invitations, to extra time-consuming, and on occasion, soul-sucking projects calls for you to set clear boundaries. The husband or partner needs your attention, along with the kids, work, friends, family, and then usually your needs get left at the bottom of the pile.

Don’t feel obligated to say yes – say no and carve out some time and space for yourself. You’ll be surprised how much time you’ll free up.

Give your 100 percent focus

Moms (and dads) are painfully familiar with the need to multitask when you have a family. However, in order to get the most out of the time you spend on the plethora of items on your to-do list, learn to give 100 percent focus to whatever task you’re completing. This means that the likelihood of you having to return to unfinished tasks decreases, the quality of your commitment means that you churn out awesome results, and if dedicating time to kid and partner-focused activities, your family will feel that you are both mentally and physically present.

Do the hardest thing first

Don’t procrastinate. I used to be the champion of procrastination. Over the course of the past few years I’ve really been working on this and realize that the idea of addressing an incomplete task is a lot more overwhelming than the actual process of just doing it. Once you get started you’ll be amazed how easily and quickly you will be able to tick off items on your get-done list, especially when you apply the 100 percent rule above. Do the hardest thing on your list first and be amazed by how easy it can be and enjoy no longer having to face it.

Use countdown timers

This is one of my favorite hacks for being more productive, although admittedly I have failed to remain consistent with it (something else to add to my own personal productivity list), but much like we encourage kids to complete tasks by turning them into a game, we can do the same and speed up the process of getting things done! Boost your everyday productivity by keep track of your time, when cleaning the house, returning emails, writing that draft, or prepping that meal.

Prep Meals

Speaking of prepping meals, feeding the family with delicious and wholesome meals can take time. Prepping and pre-cooking meals for the entire week will help save at least half of that time. First thing to tackle is a weekly meal plan. I sat down with hubby and selected five of our favorite meals that are easy to shop ingredients for, and easy to prep. Make your weekly plan fun by incorporating weekly themes, such as Taco Tuesdays, Fajita Fridays, or Three-bean Thursdays. Prepare as much as possible and rope in the Ayi if you happen to have one. Cooking and freezing broths and grains, slicing and portioning veggies, searing meats, etc., can all help with productivity during the week and involves simply dishing out, heating up, and enjoying.

Finally. Let it go

No, I’m not quoting Disney’s Frozen– but the soundtrack instantly came to mind. Learn to let go. Allow me to draw upon the mantra given to when me when I was growing up: accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Stress less over the little details and think about the bigger picture – this is particularly a necessity for expats living in China who are acclimatizing to a new culture and way of life. There’s no such thing as perfection. Be imperfectly perfect and be you.

Photos: courtesy of Pixabay

Just after giving birth to my first child, I reconnected with an old primary school friend who had just found out that she too was pregnant. This serendipitous moment sparked a deeper connection between us as we began to share our expectations, anxieties, and memories over Facebook Messenger in a style reminiscent of the back and forth correspondence in You Got Mail.

I find myself carving out time to sit down with tea or finding a quiet moment while in transit to read through detailed anecdotal, humorous, and nostalgic narratives about the personal journey my friend was and is on during what is one of the most momentous times of a woman’s life: growing a life.

One of the many prominent and poignant matters of life and love we ponder over is, of course, our own childhoods, our upbringing, and what we hope and plan our approach will be to parenthood. With each digital mail received, my distant friend who is separated from me by thousands of miles of land and ocean leaves with me deep impressions about a plethora of issues I never knew would be at the forefront of my mind.

All parents, at one point or another, speak about the notion of doing right in the areas where perhaps our parents went wrong; to provide in ways we were not provided for, not necessarily materially but emotionally, physically, and by way of offering an environment that fulfills, educates, and nurtures. One of my major concerns is the ability to allow my son to exercise autonomy. But can our marked efforts to do better in what we believe are key areas in our child’s lives create deficits in others?

Autonomy

I have always felt that I wasn’t given enough autonomy over situations and personal decisions; to have a voice that determined some of the direction I wished to go in, and that was listened to. The somewhat traditional views of my family meant that there was an innate authoritative position that belonged to the parent, and the child should and would be directed rather than allowed to self-determine in areas where it would have been safe enough for them make their own decisions– or at least be given options one could have free rein to select from.

This in turn has already manifested in me an intentional and purposeful stance on giving my son choice, a voice, and much more freedom than I was ever given. However, what deficit might I be creating in areas where a ‘no’ will protect him, as well as providing security and emotional stability in the fact that I as a parent care enough to confront, intervene, and put into place the boundaries that all kids need? When and where is the right time to take away choice? When and where is your voice the final one? Balance is everything.

I have spoken to a number of adults who in their childhood were given more freedom than a child is usually permitted to exercise in their lives, and have heard time and again that their perceived freedom of choice actually translated into abandonment or a feeling that their parents did not care. The burden of choice, and what it is to make decisions for yourself when you don’t necessarily have the tools to do so meant that for some, their autonomy was not a gift but a weight.

The “hands-off” approach to parenting in some scenarios can instill a sense of responsibility, accountability, and freedom, but can also leave a child pining for attention and seeking out destructive ways to be seen and cared for in a more intentional way. This made me think about old tropes regarding parenting, about embracing the idea that sometimes our voice needs to be the overriding factor in our children’s lives and that this, in fact, can be the purest way of showing love and affection.

Autonomy, I guess, can be given in small but significant ways that help our kids develop their characters and voices. Small decisions: food options, what to wear on a Saturday morning, what activity to participate in after school (or whether to have an extra-curricular activity at all), are all ways a parent can create balance and avoid emotional deficits in a child’s life.

Photo: Pixabay