With the recent uptick in COVID-19 cases not only in Beijing, but in neighboring Hebei Province, and tighter restrictions concerning the movement of Beijing residents, there is a note of fear passing through Beijing’s parents that schools could potentially be shut down again as a safety precaution, as they did early last year. With such fear and uncertainty in mind, parents and students might be considering how to strategize how to make the best of the rest of the school year. Making education-related New Year’s resolutions could be the key to success for most students. But as Kindall Tyson, M.Ed. LPC, NCC; Licensed Professional Counselor, working as a Senior School Social-Emotional Counselor at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB), explained, it is not quite as cut and dry as blindly setting goals.

So what does it truly take to make winning education-related New Year’s resolutions? And do parents and students even need to make them? Beijingkids spoke to Alessia Chizzoniti, Beijing mom of three to give a parent’s perspective on setting these all-important education-related New Year’s resolutions. For those who know Chizzoniti, she is not one to hold back, so brace yourselves for the unvarnished truth.

Beijingkids: How important is it to set new year’s resolutions?

Alessia Chizzoniti: Absolutely overrated!

BJK: What are the psychological effects and benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Some people need to have a clear target in order to achieve their goals, while others will only accumulate stress. It is only up to you. I personally believe that the end of a year, in general, is a very delicate time of the year; cold, vacations, family time, social pressure, etc. Not the perfect time for the clarity we need when setting resolutions. Also, what if something unexpected comes up along the way – which is not considered in the original plan?

BJK: What are some negative or toxic education-related New Year’s resolutions that both parents and students set?

AC: Improve in this, get better grades is that… Nope. This is not how life works. This is not how we can help our children “improve”. Parents (and educators, I have to say) tend to focus on the performance, on the result. Not on the path.

BJK: How can setting such resolutions affect a student’s mentality and overall educational performance?

AC: If a plant is dying (and this is very common in my house), I move the plant, I question the environment (too much light? Not enough water? The cat is chewing on the leaves?), I bing “how to take care of a lemon tree”. If a child is not “performing”, we stress the child out, we put the blame on him/her but we almost never question the environment, the path, the emotional component. Fewer resolutions, more observation. Education should guide both students and their families, should foster the innate love of learning, should encourage children to discover their talent. It can be reduced to a number.

BJK: What are some useful ways to set attainable education-related New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Talk to your child. Ask your child if there is anything she/he did not enjoy or anything she/he is not feeling comfortable with. Ask your child what would she/he do in order to feel more confident. Set a sort of deadline (this may vary depending on your child’s age) and check on it and with her/him on a regular basis.

BJK: What are some words, phrases, or language that you would advise parents and students to refrain from using when it comes to setting or assessing these goals?

AC: Grade; performance; good job; poor job; better/worse than; lazy; smart… Basically, anything that enhances the sense of performance and competition and any sort of label. Give your child constructive comments, instead.

BJK: What are some tips to help students and parents to set attainable and helpful education-based New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Just connect and talk. Students need to connect to their inner self, understand where they are headed, and do not be afraid to ask for support. Parents should observe more, listen more. I would dare to say, research less. No Bing can help you better than a healthy talk with your child. Children of any age, as young as 6 months (and younger!) can make their feelings very clear to their parents. Connect, talk, and find a viable way to achieve healthy goals.

BJK: Any words of encouragement for Beijing families?

AC: “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it” – Maya Angelou.

Photos: Courtesy of Alessia Chizzoniti, Unsplash

The night before my flight to Beijing, my mother sat me down and we had a very serious one-sided conversation with her talking and me listening. Even though I was an adult, she felt the need to remind me of the golden rules for survival she drilled into me when I was a child. She reminded me that I was going to a foreign country where, as a black man, not everyone would be too pleased to see me. She reminded me that racism is real and that people like me die daily for just being who they are. She reminded me to toe the line, to never assume that anyone was on my side, to always have my own back, and to always watch out for trouble.

On a recent call with Geena Asiedu, an African American mom of three and an attorney based in Beijing, in the wake of George Floyd’s murder and subsequent global protests, I was reminded of that conversation with my mother. Truth be told, what my mother told me is far from the exception, but the rule for black parents to their black children. At some point in time or another, all-black parents are faced with the daunting task of having ‘the talk’ with their children, because their survival might well depend on it.

“Societal pressures faced by people of color around the world have been pushed to the fore.”

George Floyd’s murder in the states has served as a global catalyst for a movement against systemic racism and police brutality. Societal pressures faced by people of color around the world have been pushed to the fore. Black people the world over are coming out, sharing their experiences on social media platforms, and demanding change. People of color from countries like America have even chosen to move abroad, seeking respite from racial turmoil in their country, and countries like Ghana, Nigeria, and even China have become popular destinations for those wishing to escape prejudice and violence on account of their race. This is one of the reasons why Asiedu and her family decided to move to China ten years ago, as she wished to expose her daughters to a more international upbringing, with a plurality of cultures and races. But even Asiedu admits that the America her daughters might return to could be a far cry from their international upbringing in Beijing.

Asiedu has had to prepare her daughters for their eventual return to the States, a task that’s easier said than done. Whether learning to navigate macro aggressions such as overt racism, to microaggressions such as back-handed compliments, Asiedu admits it is a difficult but not entirely hopeless task to prepare her girls. Like all of our mothers, she has had to emphasize the importance of being above reproach to her three daughters. “If the mark is 100% then I would say to them, for you should work as if the bar was 110 to make it difficult for anyone to overlook you. Even if you get to the 110%, it’s not a guarantee to get what you deserve,” explains Asiedu, confessing that her daughters found this sort of pressure difficult to deal with at first. But it is this sort of pressure that is exerted by society on black people across the world, with perceived acts of wrongdoing by black people being met with excessive force, often ending in tragedy as it did for George Floyd.

Geena with family in a picture from the June issue of beijingkids magazine

The prevalence of this sort of violence against black people could cause emotional and psychological exhaustion as people of color adopt it as the new normal. “I don’t know how to describe it beyond disappointment, but it doesn’t fully capture the feeling. I was surprised that I felt so disappointed given that I knew the history of racial violence in the States. The lack of basic humanity the cop displayed with his knee on another man’s neck. Watching it on the screen, I couldn’t believe it,” explains Asiedu on her state after watching the footage of George Floyd’s murder, adding “I had to take a couple of days to harness my emotions, to remind myself to be hopeful and not to succumb to hopelessness and anger.”

Though she says she has never been a victim of racial profiling or discrimination in Beijing, she couldn’t escape the horror with which black and African people across China watched mass evictions of African migrants in Guangzhou. “My sentiment was that of sadness, ‘here we go again’. It makes you think okay, perhaps America doesn’t have a monopoly on racial discrepancy. Geography hasn’t got anything to do with it. We, humans, get very creative at mistreating others,” she says.

“I had to take a couple of days to harness my emotions, to remind myself to be hopeful and not to succumb to hopelessness and anger”

So in the wake of all these disturbing developments both in China and abroad, what is a mother to do? How does a mother reassure her children that the world is not as horrible a place as it is being portrayed to be, especially for people of color? The simple answer is honesty. “You have to put yourself in a situation where you are speaking your truth, moving in love, set your bar much higher, you make it fairly difficult for someone to take away the opportunity you deserve,” Asiedu says.

And to Beijing’s Black and African families she offers words of wisdom. “I believe it was Malcom X who said ‘There is pain in truth’ but you have to wrestle with the truth and feel the pain. Have those conversations not wanting to feel right, not wanting to feel better as a person, but with the hope of learning and listening more.”

KEEP READING: What Happens When Students Are Culturally Insensitive?

Photos: Uni You, Unsplash

The last few years have seen the world’s fashion elites fall in love with the everything Africana. From colorful Kente fabric prints, to bold West African headpieces, African fashion and accessories have firmly taken center stage in the global fashion industry. This shift has been slower to impact the Chinese market in particular, where big western brands are still prized, and gold is still an accessory king, but one just has to walk down the Sanlitun high street to see trendy youths, both local and foreign, spotting afro-fusion pieces.

Gumbu sources many of her pieces from Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and Ghana

Entrepreneurs like Polina Gumbu are partially responsible for this injection of African art and fashion into China’s fashion-obsessed market. Gumbu, originally from Kazakhstan, has been in the business of sourcing and supplying beautiful pieces for several years, mainly from Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and Ghana. But her pieces aren’t your average gaudy statement pieces or tourist tat sold on African beaches. “The jewelry I sell is mostly made of wood or stone. I am trying to include different regions of Africa and different jewelry making techniques, such as weaving, woodcraft, stone craft, beading,” explains Gumbu, who used her Zimbabwean husband’s already established arts and crafts trading network to get a foot into the world of African accessories.

Like most who are drawn to African art and fashion, Gumbu is the first to admit that she was first attracted by the boldness and authenticity infused in each creation. “I have always loved jewelry, but my main goal was to get affordable jewelry that doesn’t break the bank. African culture and colors always inspired me, and getting into that culture has shown me that many people are unaware of the beauty of African inspired jewelry and crafts. It is always vibrant, loud, and makes a statement, so I wanted to bring that to the Chinese market.”

“Look for jewelry that tells a story and makes a statement.”

It’s however not easy being a mom and running an import business that demands time, dedication, and tons of planning. “Sometimes it’s really hard to do business and be a mom, but with the help of my husband we always find a way to work around parenting and building a business,” Gumbu says. She has been in Beijing for fifteen years now, which she credits to giving her an understanding of not only how the Chinese market works, but also how to leverage herself and her unique products. Key to this success is also a sound understanding of the people behind the pieces she sells, as well as the materials they use. As the world becomes increasingly aware of the adverse effects of the jewelry industry on the environment, ethical fashion is no longer just a buzz word or marketing gimmick but a minimum requirement for many a consumer. And the idea of ethical fashion stretches beyond the materials used and how they are harvested, to showcasing cultures with authenticity rather than culturally appropriating aspects of said cultures for the end goal of fashion. When done right, Gumbu says “ethical fashion and jewelry is an amazing way to educate people about various cultures while showcasing customs and traditions.”

“many people are unaware of the beauty of African inspired jewelry and crafts”

Gumbu’s passion for African jewelry extends to the artisans themselves though women empowerment initiatives, as she strives to work with young women in these source countries, intending to expose them to the Chinese and global markets. And for those looking for advice on how to find the right statement piece for themselves or even break into Gumbu’s industry, she says “Look for jewelry that tells a story and makes a statement.”

To get in touch with Gumbu, scan the QR code below:

KEEP READING: Nani’s African-Inspired Jewelry and Accessories in Beijing

Photos: Polina Gumbu