When I was in my third trimester, I found myself in my nesting phase and scrolling around Taobao for baby gadgets that “I just needed to have.” I ended up buying so much stuff for the baby — clothes, electronics, you name it — that I never even ended up using.

So, without further ado, here are the top useless “baby essentials” that I purchased, used and regretted wasting my money on.

Single-Use Placemats

I follow a few mommy bloggers on Douyin and when one of them recommended this product, I thought it was genius. This is essentially a waterproof pad with a little plate and cutlery printed on it. It sticks to the table and you can put food on it for your kid while you are out at a restaurant.

Why it sucked: Let’s not even go into how it’s a complete waste of plastic and that I was contributing to more waste for no reason at all. The stickies on the bottoms aren’t that sticky and babies can easily rip the mats off the table. Then there’s the fact that when you’re at a restaurant, most baby chairs come with a table attached to them and these mats are too big for them. So if you’re really interested in a placement to take around town with you, there’s a reusable silicone alternative that does the trick just as well. This also goes for single-use bibs.

Mini Dumpling Molds

These make the cutest little dumplings and are pretty simple to use. They’re essentially tiny cookie cutters meant for making dumplings for babies when they’re first introduced to food.

Why it sucked: We used it about three or four times because it quickly became clear that simply making the dumplings a little bit smaller was a much more efficient alternative.

Diaper Pail

When I was pregnant, every Pinterest baby room had one of these in it so I got one too. What’s a diaper pail? It’s essentially a trashcan for diapers. They’re designed to trap the smell better than a regular trash can and they’re expensive! Mine cost a whopping RMB300 just so I could have something to hold my baby’s shit…

Why it sucked: Some brands of diaper pails use trash bags that are specifically designed for them. So not only do you spend a lot of money on a trash can, you need to keep spending money on the bags. And babies go through a lot of diapers… The amount of plastic waste you generate is quite intense. Another issue: since the bin only holds diapers and you empty it when it’s full, then said emptying might not happen every day. If left unattended, the smell could knock you out when you finally decide to empty it. I retired mine a couple of months ago but it didn’t occur to me to mention it to my husband who continued to use it and didn’t realize that it wasn’t being emptied. They really do trap the smell really well. When I finally got around to tossing my diaper pail out I found it surprisingly heavy. I opened it and my eyes instantly started to water. Do you know what a two month old diaper smells like? Unfortunately, I do… Gross!

Suction Toys for High Chairs

These were another thing I bought because the mommy bloggers on Douyin made it look awesome. A little silicone teething toy that sticks to the high chair table and will keep my baby entertained while I eat? Shut up and take my money!

Why it sucked: On Douyin, every mommy blogger made a point to tug on these suction toys to show how strong they are. But it doesn’t work like that in real life. Adults pull up because we’re tall and that’s what’s most natural to us. A sitting baby will pull this thing toward them and that’s exactly how you get a suction toy to release itself from the surface. So while parents have a hard time pulling this thing off the table, it’s no trouble at all for babies.

Portable Food Blender

I don’t even know what I was thinking when I bought this. I thought it would be a convenient gadget to take around to chop up food for my daughter to eat in restaurants.

Why it sucked: Not only are these portable food blenders difficult to clean, they also take up unnecessary space in your bag. I used mine exactly twice before it was retired. A knife or a pair of food scissors will do the exact same thing for less money and less space.

Diaper Changing Pad

These looked like a must-have necessity when my daughter was tiny and to be fair, there are plenty of moms who use them and love them.

Why it sucked: It took up way too much space in my bag and I found that a Ziploc bag with disposable pads and diapers worked just as well.

Reusable Food Bags

This final entry is actually the opposite of a useless baby gadget. It’s a must-have that I wish more parents would adopt using!

My daughter loves her yogurt and purees, but each time she snacks on one I can’t help but be bothered by how much plastic waste it’s contributing to the environment. Most baby food pouches are convenient for babies but the hard plastic top will take hundreds of years to biodegrade. So, instead of single-use purees and yogurts, I found these reusable food pouches on Taobao. They’re a bit more of a hassle to clean and sanitize each time, but knowing that my kid can snack without me feeling the environmental guilt is worth the extra two minutes of cleaning.

Images: Mina Yan, Taobao

Attention! Attention! This is a public service announcement!

This is the time of year when, like caterpillars transforming into butterflies, your friends and families will start drafting soliloquies titled ‘new year, new me’ and flooding your social media timeline. This is also the time of year when they might call you to account for the person you have been throughout this year and inquire on the grand changes you plan to make to your life to be a better person in the new year, no matter what shape or form that might come in. In other words ladies and gentlemen, this is New Year’s Resolution season! But the question is, despite our best intentions and efforts, do New Year’s resolutions actually work or do they best us each year?

Beijingkids posed this question to Mina Yan – Managing Editor of beijingkids and new mom of one,  He Siyu  – beijingkids head of HR and mom of adorable twins, Dave Hanssen – photographer and dad of two, and Hannah Northcott – Beijing mom and co-founder of WellWomen, middle school drama, dance teacher, and theater director at International School of Beijing (ISB), on what the good, the bad, and the ugly are when it comes to the infamous New Year’s Resolutions, and the answers were open, honest and quite amusing!

Mina Yan and daughter Aria

Beijingkids: What do you believe the secret to making and keeping realistic New Year’s resolutions is?

Mina Yan: In the past, my resolutions have always been something generic like losing weight and I’ve never been able to keep them for more than a few months. I think this year I’m going to set the same resolution but also give myself a target to reach like how many kilos to lose so that there’s a goal to work towards.

Dave Hanssen: I think the secret to keeping a New Years resolution is to not make one, why wait to make changes that you want to make on January 1st, why not start now?

He Siyu: My secret is making it step by step, lots of tiny New Year’s resolutions are easier to make and keep.

Hannah Northcott: 2021 is an extraordinary year. We’re still living through what feels like a never-ending cycle of COVID cases and waking-up to a new year unfortunately is not the magic wand that will make all of our problems go away.

So what do we do? Give yourself more time.

Bill Gates shared that “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”

Instead of making a new year’s resolution,  what if you dream of the truest, most beautiful version of yourself, your life, and your relationships that you can imagine in ten years?

Dream big and write it all down. You don’t have to share it with anyone. It’s for you.

What would the winter of 2031 look like? How would you start your day? Where do you live? Who do you live with? What do you do? How do the things look and smell like, around you?

Debbie Millman, one of the most influential designers of today teaches about the “Ten Year Plan for a Remarkable Life.” Check out the writing prompt that she uses in the Tim Ferris Podcast

Being honest about where you’re at and gaining clarity on where you want to go, will give you a compelling reason to stick with your goals or new year’s resolution.

He Siyu

Bjk: What are some good, bad, and outright crazy resolutions you made in 2019 rolling into 2020?

MY: Well… I wanted to be more social and go to the gym more but 2020 put a dent in those plans.

DH: For 2019 I didn’t make any resolutions

HSY: Moving into a bigger apartment. (Failed). Everything about my kids goes well. (Succeeded). Be rich. (Failed)

HN: I wanted to learn five new dishes and made three – mango salsa, mango refrigerated cake, and colored pancakes. I’m like the equivalent of a twelve-year-old in the kitchen but perhaps adding to my culinary repertoire can be a goal in 2021 (this is where my husband, Steve will insert a joke about my many adventures in the kitchen or the lack of it…)

On the flip side, one of the things that I journaled in 2019 was, “I will make mornings magical.”

My friend Rebecca and I, created and practiced a daily routine called Magical Morning early in 2020 to get us through our lowest point of COVID and since then have shared it with other women through blog posts and a virtual course.

Hannah Northcott with her adorable daughters

Bjk: What has 2020 taught you about New Year’s resolutions?

MY: 2020 made me realize that I don’t need to go big to keep to my resolutions. For example, if I want to work out more I don’t need to splurge on a super expensive gym membership. Youtube videos work just fine as long as I can set a clear goal to follow.

DH: 2020 has taught me that there is no time like the present to make a change, no need to wait till January 1st, 2021.

HSY: “Be rich” never comes true.

HN: I learned to be adaptable and flexible – to let go of control, especially on the things that I had no control over because the way we dealt with the uncertainty of the global pandemic affected our peace and joy.

Dave Hanssen, his sons, and their cat. Can’t forget the cat

Bjk: What is your biggest New Year’s resolution moving into the year 2021?

MY: To lose the pregnancy weight and to find a balance between my job and family life.

DH: My biggest New Years resolution for 2021 is to not make a New Years resolution

HSY: Same as 2020, moving into a bigger apartment with my family.

HN: From someone who used to be on the “go big or go home train,” I want to make subtle shifts to becoming an essentialist – to choose what matters and let go of the things that no longer align with my mind, body, heart, and soul.

KEEP READING: New Year’s Resolution: The Good, the Bad, and the Truly Hilarious! (Part 1)

Photos: Courtesy of Mina Yan, Dave Hansen, Hannah Northcott, He Siyu, Unsplash

Once Beijing families come back down from the wonderous cheerful high of the festive season, they will have to settle back into life. Parents, students, and schools alike will be entirely consumed by the second half of the year and what that might potentially mean for students’ results. It is normal for parents and students to set study-related New Year’s resolutions, be it increasing study time or employing the services of a competent tutor, or even kids being enrolled in extra-curricular classes. But are all of these resolutions helpful in the long run?

With traditional pedagogical ideas and practices upended thanks to COVID-19, this year has been a source of great anxiety for educators, students, and families alike. In a bid to try and reclaim ‘lost time’ spent on e-learning, parents stand the risk of putting their children under increasing pressure to excel in their studies. It is important for parents and educators to consider how best to assist students to set attainable study-related New Year’s resolutions. We spoke to Kindall Tyson, M.Ed. LPC, NCC; Licensed Professional Counselor, working as a Senior School Social-Emotional Counselor at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB). She is also the owner of  ‘Aspire Counseling & Wellness Center, PLLC‘. We asked Tyson how best to go about setting these all-important New Year’s resolutions.

Kindall Tyson

Beijingkids (BJK): How important is it to set new year’s resolutions?

Kindall Tyson (KT): New Year’s resolutions can be a source of inspiration for people to begin their year in a more productive, goal-oriented manner. They can provide hope for those who seek to better themselves and although some people that set resolutions do not follow through and complete them all, setting a resolution can demonstrate that you possess belief and hope in your ability to change your habits and work toward being the best version of yourself.

BJK: What are the psychological effects and benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions?

KT: Setting New Year’s resolutions gives people something to look forward to, something to work toward, and opportunities to make desired changes in their lives. Some benefits of resolutions are that they can give your life an added sense of purpose. Resolutions allow you to be more action-oriented toward your goals and realize the changes that you desire to bring forth into your life. Additionally, resolutions provide you the opportunity to prioritize your needs and practice self-care. The essence of setting resolutions is identifying what you need in order to be the best version of yourself and grow in specific areas; therefore, setting resolutions and implementing them can be viewed as an additional way of honoring yourself and prioritizing your needs. Lastly, when you follow through on your resolutions, there is a sense of accomplishment that you feel from enduring the process of setting the goal, identifying the action steps, and implementing the plan. While most resolutions aren’t completed, the ones that are can provide the impetus to keep setting goals and breaking them down into actionable steps in order for you to realize incremental success.

“It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths”

BJK: What are some negative education-related New Year’s resolutions that both parents and students set?

KT: Parents and students sometimes set unrealistic goals that can cause anxiety in students. It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths and areas of growth and provide opportunities for balance when educating their children. Furthermore, when setting goals, I believe it’s important that the goals are meant to enrich and improve the student’s holistic life instead of scheduling them in more activities to keep up with other students. Again, this is a prime opportunity for students to enhance their skill set and gifts in areas that they are interested in.

BJK: How can setting such resolutions affect a student’s mentality and overall educational performance?

KT: If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals that make academic life more challenging, students could begin to procrastinate, experience symptoms of anxiety, experience symptoms of depression, and potential feelings of inadequacy if the goals implemented are at too high of a threshold for the student to realize success. It’s imperative, again, for parents and students to engage in consistent, open, and honest dialogue about their academic and personal needs and wants and for them to be listened to and taken seriously.

“If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals, students could begin to procrastinate.”

BJK: What are some useful ways to set attainable education-related New Year’s resolutions?

KT: The new year offers opportunities for us to grow and develop in myriad ways. All goals related to learning do not have to be tied to scholastic achievement. Parents and students may consider setting family goals, such as doing a book reading challenge which will improve students’ vocabulary, foster their love of reading (hopefully), and allow the family to engage in healthy, growth-oriented competition. Additionally, parents and students can focus on getting involved in a new hobby or learning a new skill, such as drawing, writing poetry, ceramics, or skateboarding. The goal does not have to be tethered to an academic pursuit in order for learning to take place. Participating in these types of activities can bolster a student’s sense of accomplishment and enhance their self-esteem while, hopefully, strengthening the family dynamic.

BJK: What are some words, phrases, or language that you would advise parents and students to refrain from using when it comes to setting or assessing these goals?

KT: I believe that it’s important to praise incremental growth; it’s easier to work toward challenging goals when you celebrate small successes. Therefore, I would advise parents to minimize their comparison behaviors- comparing their child’s progress to that of other siblings or other students. Additionally, parents should be more encouraging when their children begin trying new things, so stating that they have to be perfect from the onset could be harmful. It’s imperative to recognize that the expert was once a novice, and that mastery takes time. Lastly, encourage your children through their failures. Failure is a hallmark of success, and those that fail successfully and are able to be resilient enough to get back up and keep trying will experience victory in the long run. So, it’s important for parents not to focus too much on failure as a finality, but to help their children reconceptualize failure as the building block to success.

“Try not to attempt too much at one time.”

BJK: What are some tips to help students and parents to set attainable and helpful education-based New Year’s resolutions?

KT: Instead of seeking to make New Year’s Resolutions that are academic in nature, I would encourage parents and students to relax and enjoy the process. If they notice that there are areas that they can grow in, set some realistic goals, and break those down into actionable steps. Try not to attempt too much at one time; that can be overwhelming. Take it one step at a time and make sure to include the students in the process. Additionally, if you are struggling with doing the aforementioned, work with your student’s counselor to help him or her figure out a more concrete and actionable plan of action. Enjoy the process of self-discovery.

BJK: Any words of encouragement for Beijing families?

KT: I would like families to remember that we are still living through a pandemic; therefore, our normal manner of functioning is different. While education is of the utmost importance, prioritizing their mental health and wellbeing is THE most important thing right now. Be supportive of them, pay attention to any changes in their mood or behaviors, spend more time together communing as a family, get outside and engage in nature more often, do family-oriented things that have nothing to do with school, set some new family traditions. Listen to them; have more conversations, eat more family dinners. All-in-all, spend more time together. Doing so will better inoculate them against the negative effects of trauma and help them along the path to healing and normalcy.

KEEP READING: Best Buddies with Zhichao: Harrow Students Learn from Children With Learning Differences

Photos: Courtesy of Kindall Tyson, Unsplash

The disruption that COVID-19 has caused in the traditional school system has left many parents wondering whether there is a way to take more control over their children’s education. An increasing number in Beijing are now turning to homeschooling, yet questions abound: how does it work? Where do you start? Is it legal? In this series, we dive in, talking to Beijing parents who have already started the journey about the big questions, and busting some myths along the way. Let’s get stuck in!

For the first article in our series, we spoke to May Yeung, who has been homeschooling her two daughters (8 and 14) for a total of 14 years.

May Yeung with her daughters Theo Chow – 14, and Halak Chow – 8

There are a few reasons why my children don’t ‘attend’ school. A month after we had our first baby we learned we were moving to Beijing. I started doing research on parenting and teaching. It was fairly easy and fun for the infant stage because there were so many programs and tools such as occupational therapy training, baby sign language, Doman, and Montessori training available. I just had to follow them and arrange playdates with other children.

When my daughter started kindergarten I started visiting schools with other moms and one of them mentioned homeschooling. She invited a lady who was homeschooling to share with us, and when I went over to look at the school materials I was blown away because it was exactly what I had dreamed of when I first prayed about it. I just jumped right in and started and it went well and we loved it.

The system that we use to homeschool our children is Sonlight from the United States. The reason I chose this system is quite simple. As I mentioned earlier, I want my children to be taught through the tenets of our religious beliefs, so I especially like the way their daily curriculum is structured, starting with a religious module, and the entire curriculum is structured around religious history and a worldview shaped by our personal beliefs.

‘I especially like the way their daily curriculum is structured’

We intend to homeschool our children until they are in High School.

I think the best thing about homeschooling is the ability to choose a curriculum that meets my family’s needs and fits my children’s learning style. For example, we can choose a math curriculum, whether it’s more intellectual or hands-on. Also, my children can learn each subject at their own pace so that they can master everything without pressure. It also provides us with a flexible daily schedule so that my children can focus more on developing their giftedness. For example, my eldest daughter can have more time to practice ballet and write her own book.

Homeschooling saves a lot of travel time which allows them to enjoy more free time. Looking back, I think homeschooling really helps them become self-taught instead of being indoctrinated. In addition, it helps them build a completely different network of friends that is not just limited to their classmates or schoolmates, but everyone they come in contact with.

“My eldest daughter can have more time to practice ballet and write her own book.”

There are some drawbacks to homeschooling. When my daughter was in elementary school, the people around me, especially my parents, were so anxious about my daughter’s future and a social life that they would even try to test her abilities and find any difficulties in her, which put a lot of pressure on me.

There are wonderful resources that have helped us on our homeschooling journey. It’s been a blessing to find native language teachers to help with language classes, Beijing Sports to allow my daughters to participate in different sports programs such as baseball and gymnastics, and Girl Scouts to enable my daughters to have peers to grow up with.

My advice for parents wishing to start homeschooling is this. I think parenting/homeschooling is like a dessert you want to make for your family (what kind of children you want to raise), once you figure out, the rest including the cooking method (teaching methods) and ingredients (resources) becomes easy because it’s just problem solving and it will sustain you through the difficult times of doubt. As a bonus, during this journey, I also discovered my gift and developed it into my “second curve” to become an accredited play therapist. So, I highly recommend that you give it a go, why not? If you don’t try, you’ll never know!

“I definitely love the fact that I’m able to ‘play around’ even though I’m a high school student.”

I thought it might be good to have my children share their thoughts on homeschooling:

I like being homeschooled for a lot of reasons. The most important one is that I get to spend half of my day playing and doing things that I love, such as dancing, playing with my sister, cycling, playing Minecraft, reading, writing, and hanging out with my family. Homeschooling has given me the extra time I need to dance more at my dance studio and still be able to play around. And I definitely love the fact that I’m able to ‘play around’ even though I’m a high school student. Homeschooling is amazing because I can go at my own pace, have no homework, and I can go to school at my own house! I don’t have to wake up early every morning to travel to school and come home late in the afternoon to finish up homework. I can wake up later than most people, finish school before them, and still have so much time leftover! I love homeschooling, and I would highly recommend it. – Theo Chow, 14

“I have time to do my favorite things”

I like homeschooling because I have time to do my favorite things: play Minecraft, lego, singing, drawing, and relax. And another great thing I love about homeschooling is that I have less homework to do and more time to spend with my family. – Halak Chow, 8

KEEP READING: What You Need to Know About Homeschooling in Beijing

Photos: Courtesy of May Yeung