SENIA-Beijing, Rong Ai Rong Le, and Best Buddies China are at it again. They’re known for seeing a need to connect students for socialization between kids who are sometimes isolated and have a more difficult time making friends. With the recent temporary closures of schools and the upcoming holiday, they rolled out a Pen Pal program!

You may have a vision of Pen Pals as kids across the world who you write to on pen and paper, but it’s 2021, after all! Any child aged 9 and older who wants to be Pen Pal Best Buddy for a child with special needs can sign up at the QR code on the flier. You just need to commit to communicating with your pal once a month through a secure communication platform that they will provide.

Students who participated in the Best Buddies program are drawn to a new kind of empathy for students their own age who may not always be verbal or communicative but show their feelings in different ways. It’s a wonderful chance to meet new people outside of your circles and help them not feel so alone at this time.

So sign up to be Pen Pal today!

KEEP READING: Best Buddies with Zhichao: Harrow Students Learn from Children With Learning Differences

Photos: courtesy of SENIA-Beijing, Rong Ai Rong Le, and Best Buddies China, Adobe Stock

In our new December issue, we profile both SENIA-Beijing and it’s Best Buddies program at Harrow Beijing (HBJ) on how it helps bridge the gap between Beijing families and students who have learning differences. We couldn’t fit all of the wonderful interviews into our article, so decided to print them here for your reading pleasure. Many thanks to Janice Bareng-Pineda, teacher and coordinator of the Best Buddies Leadership and Service Activities (LSA) program, for her time in coordinating these interviews. 

Christina Wang, Year 10 student at Harrow School Beijing

I’m one of the students who’ve participated in the Best Buddies Leadership and Service Activities (LSA) when I first came to Harrow Beijing. It’s a very meaningful and educational experience for me. In this LSA, I’ve met people who are the same age as me but have in learning and doing activities. It made me feel extremely sympathetic for them but also empathetic. Also, knowing how lucky I was for having a chance of helping them in this LSA. I was able to understand people with intellectual and developmental disabilities more. Zhichao Gao was my buddy. He has intellectual disabilities and didn’t quite understand what we were doing at first.

However, I found him very smart because I knew he was trying very hard to be in the same place as other people. He tried to join in arts and crafts and played games with us. Sometimes he would run off because there were many people in one room, especially when we had our end of year party. He did not want people touching him but one afternoon, when we were sending them off for home, he crossed his arms with me. I thought it was such a kind gesture.

I was also amazed at all the other Rong Ai Rong Le (RARL) students. They all tried hard to get connected. They might not have done something how I expected (like trying to initiate conversations, make eye contact), but they had their own way of doing so. I just had to think deeper and understand clearer to get to know them better. I’m very grateful to Harrow Beijing and RARL for providing me such a precious opportunity.

Jack Zhi, Year 8 student at Harrow School Beijing

When I joined the Best Buddies Leadership and Service Activities (LSA) in my school, I was paired up with a boy called Zhichao. I felt strange and awkward when I first saw a person like him. I did not know how to talk to him… He doesn’t speak the way I speak. He bangs his head many times while we were having activities in the room.

Surprisingly, we got along with each other after meeting a few times. I was curious why he was hitting his head and so I tried to stop him and put my hand on the side of his head. I could then tell that he was not doing it on purpose! There is like an automatic impulse that makes him hit himself. He can’t help it! It must have hurt a lot. I could see that the side of his head was sore. I think he does this when he is excited or nervous. So, I try to calm him down. I would play music on my computer and let him listen. I try to talk to him- I know he can hear me. When he is happy, he hums and dances. He runs around and laughs. I feel happy too when I see him happy.

I know that his humming and dancing was his way to convey a message, or maybe to say thank you. He was doing this a lot when we had a party. He was humming and dancing, laughing and playing games.

But I am more than thankful to meet someone like him. My friends tell me it was kind of me to teach, play, and talk to people with disabilities but I learned more from this experience. I learned that there are several ways to communicate and connect with people.

I would encourage students like me to join activities like Best Buddies! Let us know more about intellectual and developmental disabilities and learn how to include them in our spaces and in our lives.

Zhichao’s Mother Responds

My friends from Harrow School, I’m very sorry. Zhichao, who left you a deep impression, cannot give you the corresponding emotional or textual response. As his mother, I am very grateful and touched by your wholehearted company in the project activities and sincere contribution. Not every time we give is rewarded, but every time we give, we will definitely gain inner growth and make us more mature, tough, and rational. I hope that while you become social elites, you can retain your understanding and care for disadvantaged groups in your heart. The world is diversified. Only by accepting differences can we share. The future is yours, and I hope you all have their own beauty and share the same beauty. Thank you!

KEEP READING: The Latest Issue of Beijingkids Magazine is Out!

Photos: Best Buddies Leadership and Service Activities (LSA)

There’s a saying that goes, “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” Thus, it’s no surprise that even while preparing for their own futures, the students in Beijing’s international school community take time to reach out and make positive impacts in the lives of children with special needs.

One such group that pairs students with a-typical peers is Best Buddies International, an American nonprofit organization founded back in 1989 that provides inclusion opportunities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD).

In April of last year, Best Buddies China started a One-to-One Friendship Program with students at Harrow Beijing, fostering friendships between their students and other kids with IDD. What’s more, despite being separated during COVID-19, the program has continued, with the kids and their buddies staying in touch through the e-Buddies Program.

We spoke with Janice Bareng-Pineda, the Best Buddies coordinator at Harrow Beijing, to find out more about the program, how e-Buddies functions, and the friendships that have blossomed from it.

Tell us about Best Buddies International and how it was first introduced in Beijing. What’s the relationship between Best Buddies and RongAi RongLe?

Best Buddies International is a non-profit organization founded in the United States in 1989. It has programs supporting individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) in terms of inclusion in the community, jobs and special needs self-advocacy. Its main programs are One-to One Friendships, Integrated Employment and Leadership Development. Best Buddies has already reached out all over the United States and 51 countries in six continents.

Best Buddies International has given a significant impact on the life of one of the founders of RongAi RongLe, Ms. Xiaogeng Wang. Wang, together with her son who has developmental disability, lived in the US from 2005-2010. During that period, her son received a lot of services and support from schools and communities, including involvement in Best Buddies activities, which he enjoyed the most. This has made her son’s life totally different from their life in China.

He improved his self-help and social skills and he was able to do lots of things in the community together with other people. This influenced Wang to start up an organization offering the same programs in China. She realized that a change has to be made especially in dealing with discrimination based on disability, and building a support system for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families. Wang then founded RongAi RongLe on her return to China.

Beijing RongAi RongLe Family Support Center for Persons with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (“Rong Ai Rong Le”) was founded by 15 parents of persons with intellectual and developmental disabilities in 2011. It is an advocacy organization representing the rights of persons with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

In March 2019, RongAi RongLe (RARL) received the formal accreditation from Best Buddies International to carry out its programs. Best Buddies China then started the One-to-One Friendship Program at Harrow Beijing in April of 2019.

Who does this program serve and help?

The IDD community that Best Buddies serves include, but is not limited to, people with Down syndrome, autism, fragile X syndrome, Williams syndrome, cerebral palsy, traumatic brain injury, and other undiagnosed disabilities.

How are students at Harrow Beijing involved in the project? What kind of students have been participating?

Harrow Beijing included Best Buddies as one of the Leadership in Action enrichment activities for students in April 2019. Students from Year 5 to Year 13 joined the program. Students with special needs/IDD, who are assisted by RARL, come to Harrow Beijing and join students in different activities. In the activities, Harrow students deepen their understanding about people with special needs/IDD by being actively engaged with their “buddies”. Activities include games, arts and crafts, board games, reading at the library, and football. More activities are planned to give opportunities to develop friendships among students.

What do these students find most enriching about the experience?

Students of RARL enjoy a lot of their time with their Harrow peers. They feel happy and look forward to meeting their Harrow peers every week. We think this is the most important point.

Almost all students of RARL live a so-called isolated life. They either study at special schools or stay home due to suspension of study. So their social circle is very limited in their daily life. There is a limited opportunity for them to meet friends within the same age group. Going to Harrow and taking inclusive class with Harrow students who are in their age becomes the opportunity for them to experience and learn about socialization and inclusion. What’s more, teachers and students at Harrow are very friendly, kind and patient for students of RARL. Being welcome and taking good care is always needed for everyone, and for students of RARL, especially so.

Harrow students experienced and learned that communication can be expressed in various ways. One student shared that he was able to figure out what his buddy was trying to say by attentively observing his gestures. He patiently tries many ways to talk to his buddy.

Students have shown their leadership skills by mentoring their buddies and leading different activities. It is very inspiring to see how kind and considerate the students are towards their “buddies”.

During COVID-19, how are the students participating? Tell us about the e-Buddy program and what kind of activities the students have been doing online.

During COVID-19, we carried out our first e-Buddies program. It was a one-week program. There were 30 youths with IDD paired with volunteers participating in the e-Buddies program. They had video calls every day via WeChat. The program team also prepared different topics for those peers to talk and work out together via video calls. For example, they talked about topics like why we have to stay home, what is COVID-19, how to wear masks and how to wash your hands, and also some actions songs the peers could work out at home, like physical activities, dance, handcraft, drawing, and cooking. At the end, we held an online KTV party as a culminating activity.

What are the friendships formed through this program like?

Based on different individual characters, there are different forms of friendships among the peers. Some of them are very chatty, so they enjoy talking with each other and sharing ideas. But for those with little or no speech capability, they meet online to listen to music and just be company for each other.

There was one participant with very little speech capability. It felt that it was not possible to have verbal interaction between partners during video calls. However, the pair kept on meeting online and followed the prepared to-do list conscientiously. After several calls, one peer ended the call by saying, “talk to you tomorrow”, on her own initiative. This short phrase surprised the parents and moved the other person on the line. This has indeed proven how one’s company can affect people with IDD.

Can anyone in Beijing participate?

We welcome all people to participate in Best Buddies program. We partner with schools to offer participation opportunities to students in primary school, middle school, high school, and college or university. We have Citizens Best Buddies for people in the community to join in, and e-Buddies for people with different ages and in different location to join in. In 2020, we are going to launch Best Buddies Jobs program to partner with companies, so that employees can participate in our program.

Please include anything we didn’t ask but you feel our readers should know.

According to the World Health Organization, nearly 3 out of 100 people in the world have IDD, making this the largest disability group on the planet. It is also one of the world’s most marginalized groups. People with IDD are nearly three times more likely to live in poverty than people without IDD. In China, the population of people with IDD is about 12 million.

Most people with IDD live their lives in the company of family members or paid caregivers lacking the necessary skills to self-advocate. When people with IDD are unable to keep a job, it is most often due to a lack of social skills rather than a lack of ability to perform the work required.

The social network that students build during their daily interactions with peers contributes to their evolving sense of self and capabilities. But social opportunities are often non-existent for children with IDD.

Best Buddies tackles these problems through the friendship programs, jobs program, our e- Buddies program, and ambassador program. By introducing a person with IDD to a peer without IDD in a supported, positive setting, we combat loneliness and isolation, while increasing society’s acceptance and understanding of people with IDD. Our programs provide people with IDD the resources they need to support themselves and learn valuable social skills that give them confidence. Well-developed social skills can help youth with IDD develop positive relationships, succeed in school, and begin to successfully explore adult roles such as employee, co-worker, and community member.

For the most up to date list of the countries that Best Buddies has a presence in, please visit www.bestbuddies.org.

Harrow Beijing currently runs the Friendship Program of Best Buddies. This program aims to promote inclusion not only within the Harrow community, but also extending our plans to go further and beyond, unfurling Harrow’s banner; Leadership for a better world.

For more information, you can contact Michelle Wang, a representative of Best Buddies China/RARL at wangxh@co-inclusion.org, or if you want to know about Best Buddies school-based program, contact Janice Bareng-Pineda at jpineda@harrowbeijing.cn.

Photos: Janice Bareng-Pineda, lnhspanthers.com, bestbuddies.org, bestbuddieschampions.org