I’m not a hoarder by nature. But being an expat for the last 10 years and having coordinated 4 major moves, my views on “stuff” have shifted.

I save things.

If you ask my husband, sometimes I do so inexplicably. I save Christmas cards, packing supplies, small trinkets, magazines, anything that comes home from school, including an unending stream of what my children insist are artistic masterpieces. I can’t always see the creative genius, but they’d be heartbroken if we didn’t save every one, so I do.

I save containers in various shapes and sizes for, well, container emergencies like, “I need to make a diorama tomorrow,” or “There’s an egg drop competition.” or “Don’t you have a bag the perfect size for my collection of…?” And so on.

I’m also not the most organized person and holding onto things for longer than typical is my way of making sure nothing goes missing. From these revelations it might seem like I really am a hoarder or at least have tendencies in that direction, but I am saved from admitting this to myself by the fact that, every few years, we move and we are allotted a strictly enforced weight limit for our goods.

So we must purge, purge, purge before we leave.

Our next move is just months away. Our three years in Beijing are the longest we’ve ever lived anywhere since we picked up our lives and joined the expat throng and, consequently, our pile of possessions is a lot larger than usual. Mentally, I started the purging process long ago. I’ve thought my way systematically through each room and closet, taking stock of everything we’ve crammed in over the last 36 months and making lists of what can go, what can stay, and what should be sent to storage.

This was an unexpectedly emotional process, but I tried to be rationale, pragmatic, and keep the sentimentality to a manageable level. I thought I was making progress, gearing up for the inevitable sorting and donation runs, and so I shared my brilliant assessments with my husband.

I rattled off the no-brainers first, the items we could not possibly ever need or want again, then moved on to the more subjective areas – outgrown children’s books and games, nostalgia clothing we’ve held onto, but haven’t worn in years, gifts we’ve never used, but can’t seem to part with because they were gifts, and even things I’d prefer to keep if I had the luxury of limitless weight and space.

I glanced at my husband as I neared the end of this list, eager for his approval. But, his eyes were narrowed, his brow furrowed, he was just not in agreement with my carefully crafted plans. He was clearly not pleased. When I took a breath, he swooped in and item by item offered reasons why every single thing I mentioned had to be kept.

I was dumbfounded.

Didn’t he understand how much mental time and energy I had put into this? Didn’t he understand I too loved our things, I the keeper of tins and toilet paper rolls and a devotee of the phrase “just in case?” Did he not appreciate the effort involved in actually getting rid of this stuff in favor of just letting the movers pack up and paying an enormous bill when we went way over our weight limit? I was doing us a favor taking on this mammoth task and saving us money!

He, however, was steadfast in his objections, but I was formidable. I pointed out many of our beloved effects were taking up space and would serve someone else better. I reminded him there are myriad mechanisms available in Beijing for painlessly divesting ourselves of those things we hold dear, but are just excessive.

I convinced him we had more stuff than any family of five needs, and we could be content with less. A LOT LESS! And then I showed him the 6 large garbage bags full of stuff pulled from just my side of the closet in a single afternoon and finally the lights came on. He saw the fruits of my mental calisthenics and miraculously began to purge too.

We’re at the beginning of this process, but we’ve begun. We’ve done our homework and have plans to visit various charities with weekly drop-offs. I’ve got my advertisements ready to post on some online resources, and I’ve noted the dates for our office, school, and church rummage sales and toy drives.

We’re offering first dibs on everything to our Ayi and the other ayis in our building. And, slowly, we’re making headway. I’ll miss some of the things we’re parting with, but many I’ll forget about instantly and wonder why I ever thought we couldn’t live without them.

Except for maybe that one University sweatshirt shoved way back in the corner. That one I might keep, just in case!

6 Resources for Purging:

1. Roundabout
2. Operation Blessing
3. Bethel
4. Lion Club
5. Freecycle Beijing: FreecycleBeijing@yahoogroups.com
6. Beijing Mamas: beijing_mamas@yahoogroups.com

Photo Courtesy: Linsey Crisler

The Bethel Diaries is on ongoing series about volunteering in Beijing. Click here for previous posts. 

Jessie Wheeler is from Charleston, Illinois. She’s currently in the eighth month of a year-long internship at Bethel China, where she teaches an English-immersion class made up of kids who are in the process of being adopted by families in English-speaking countries. Wheeler’s six students range in age from 3 to 5, with varying degrees of visual impairment. Recently, she took time out of her busy schedule at the Doudian campus to answer questions about her volunteering experience.

Tell us a bit about your life before Bethel.
Last May, I graduated university with a bachelor’s degree in Speech-Language Pathology. In the fall of my third year, all of my classmates began looking into graduate school. While I knew that I wanted to go to graduate school, I also had a strong desire to take a year to gain experience and explore my field a little deeper.

How did you hear about Bethel?
You could say that the stars aligned in my discovery of Bethel. I had told a good friend about my interest in volunteering for an extended period of time after graduation and she pointed me to Bethel, where she had a friend who was the development manager [Anna Calsina].

As I learned more about Bethel, I realized that it was the perfect fit for the experience I was looking for. My interests in speech pathology had always revolved around children, multicultural influences in speech, and additional disabilities that affect speech.

Not only did Bethel align with my professional goals, it also proved to be an organization that has goals and dreams that I couldn’t help but want to be a part of. Just in my research, it was obvious that Bethel went above and beyond to put the children first and provide quality and personal care in a loving way.

Tell us a bit about your first days in Beijing.
My first few days in Beijing were a whirlwind! In just three weeks, I graduated college, my brother got married, and I moved to a city considerably larger than the corn-filled farm towns of Illinois. I blame the jet lag, but I remember just being in awe of the new culture I had stepped into and excited to start my year.

When I arrived at the Doudian campus, I was surprised that such a secluded place could have a Beijing address. I was impressed with how much the facilities felt like a home and I loved that the kids were free to run and play. 

What is a typical day like at Doudian?
[My class and I] are together Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm. During the day, we have a set schedule of storybook reading, play, fine motor activities, and English lessons. In my class, the kids get the experience of being fully immersed in a language like they would in their adoptive families, but in the comfort of their own culture and home. My hope is to make learning English as accessible as possible so that the transition into a new family and country is a bit easier.

I plan a lot of hands-on activities that revolve around their normal daily activities and concrete ideas. We start by learning names of objects and work our way up to expressing feelings and answering and asking more difficult questions. Now, the kids in my class are now so proficient in English that I use them to translate for me with the Chinese staff at Bethel!

How do you design course materials for the kids?
Before Bethel, I had no formal teaching experience. I have worked a lot with children and have experience in the speech therapy clinic at my university, which gave me a better understanding of child development. However, I feel that in the classroom I am just teaching in a way that a mother would with their non-English speaking child at home. The lessons that I plan are based around play and primarily come from searches on Pinterest.

The kids themselves also inform a lot of the lessons that I plan. Surprisingly, one of the first English phrases they learned was “What is this?” Their curiosity created an environment where we could all learn together about the things that they are excited about.

If everyone learns the word “ball,” we can then learn all of the actions that you can accomplish with a ball such as throwing, bouncing, and picking up. The kids have learned English on their own and I have had the honor of being the facilitator.

What’s your favorite aspect of volunteering at Bethel?
My favorite part of volunteering at Bethel is being able to see a change in the children that is a result of my presence in the classroom. Some of my kids are just as proficient in English as they are in Chinese, and I know the impact that this will have during the adoption process.

Last month, a boy from my class was adopted and was able to express his needs to his parents the day that he met them. This boy is blind and moved into a new culture with a family he didn’t know, but could communicate with them.

What about the most challenging?
The most challenging part has been learning to adapt to a classroom full of kids with different backgrounds, language abilities, visual impairments, and developmental levels. Because of this challenging environment, I have been able to learn more about how to address the specific needs of a child while teaching a full class.

What surprised you about working at Bethel?
I was most surprised at how little the language barrier affected my teaching and interaction with the kids and staff. Everyone, including the kids, is so patient with me. I have only “talked” to the other teachers through miming and I consider them good friends! It just goes to show that speaking the same language isn’t everything and that it even provides a good environment for teaching a new language.

What kind of thoughts and feelings do you have as your internship at Bethel draws to a close?
Spending a year at Bethel has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I will miss this place that I have called home and am thankful for opportunities that it has given me to expand on my professional goals and to grow and develop in personal ways. They have set a high standard for care that I will look towards as I pursue a future as a health professional.

How will your experience at Bethel shape your research interests in grad school?
Because of my experience at Bethel, I have been able to narrow down my research and study interests for graduate school into a more specific area. I would now like to further pursue research in language development of orphans/adopted children and the impact that psychological trauma like abandonment and being raised in an orphanage environment has on a child’s development. I hope to someday work in either an international adoption clinic in the United States or abroad in orphan care speech therapy.

Sijia Chen is a contributing editor at beijingkids and a freelance writer who has covered travel, tech, culture, parenting, and the environment. Her work has appeared in Travel + Leisure, The Independent, the Beijinger, Midnight Poutine, and more. Follow her on Twitter at @sijiawrites or email her at sijiachen@beijing-kids.com.

Photos: Courtesy of Jessie Wheeler

The Bethel Diaries is on ongoing series about volunteering in Beijing. For the first installment, click here.

It’s crunch time at Bethel. Not only did Chi Fan for Charity successfully wrap up in November with over RMB 550,000 raised for Bethel and Educating Girls of Rural China (EGRC), but we also participated in several holiday bazaars and held a series of rotating art shows this month with 100 paintings by Bethel children up for auction.

Currently, I’m in the middle of compiling Bethel’s annual report for release in January 2016. As a life-long writer, I’ve always believed that words matter. However, I’m realizing that careful word choice and selective editing may be especially important in a non-profit context.

Most NGOs and non-profit organizations are keen to control their messaging and the way they are presented in the media. There are sound reasons for this. When an organization’s mission is diluted or misunderstood by others, not only can that make it harder for them to carry out their mandate, but it can also threaten fundraising and sponsorship efforts.

The language used by an organization also reflects it values. For example, early on at Bethel I learned the difference between "a child who is blind or visually-impaired (with a focus on children without parents)" versus "a blind or visually-impaired orphan."

First off, "blind" isn’t the same thing as "visually-impaired." A visually-impaired (VI) person has low vision (defined by the Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization as vision between 20/70 and 20/400 with the best possible correction) while a blind person has visual acuity worse than 20/400 with the best possible correction.

Second, Anna from Bethel says they always try to use "people first language" by highlighting the children’s humanity and abilities in all communications rather than their disabilities.

In the example above – "a child who is blind or visually-impaired (with a focus on children without parents)" versus "a blind or visually-impaired orphan" – the first construction doesn’t dwell on the children’s status as orphans.

Granted, it’s wordier but also offers a more accurate description of Bethel’s projects, which include outreach efforts with local families (in other words, children who are not orphans).

As an editor, it’s difficult to resist the urge to cut down on wordiness. However, in a non-profit context anything we leave off the page has the potential to distort or undervalue the organization’s mission. I’ve never so carefully considered the implications of using this word versus that word or highlighting one achievement over another.

In short, being a volunteer at Bethel has enabled me to view writing – an old and familiar friend – in new and unexpected ways. More than ever, I’m convinced that words matter.

Tips of the Day

• When you meet a visually-impaired person, don’t assume they need help. Ask if you can offer assistance. Speak face to face with the person. If they consent to your assistance, wait until they grab your arm by the elbow; don’t grab them first.
• When speaking to people who are visually-impaired, don’t be scared to say expressions like "see you later" or "see you tomorrow." You can use the same words you would normally use in conversation.
• Use concrete words and descriptions. Don’t say "this thing" or "that thing."

Sijia Chen is a contributing editor at beijingkids and a freelance writer who has covered travel, tech, culture, parenting, and the environment. Her work has appeared in Travel + Leisure, The Independent, the Beijinger, Midnight Poutine, and more. Follow her on Twitter at @sijiawrites or email her at sijiachen@beijing-kids.com.

Photo: Taro Taylor (Flickr)

Two weeks ago, I started volunteering for Bethel China, an organization that provides education and foster care for children who are blind and visually-impaired, with a focus on children without parents. Though this is my first time getting involved, I’ve been following the organization for many years. 

I first heard about Bethel when I was assigned to write about children’s charities for the December 2011 issue of beijingkids. Around two years ago, my oldest friend in Beijing – Anna Calsina, pictured above – became their development manager.

Through her, a few of us got the opportunity to visit the Doudian campus in March 2014. We toured the school and residences, then spent the afternoon making crafts with the kids; I was paired with a little girl called Ai Fei, who has since been adopted by a family in the US.

Rather naively, I was surprised that the kids could do art projects despite, well, not being able to see. Anna explained that not all people who are "blind" are completely blind; some have peripheral or tunnel vision, while others can read large print. Ai Fei fell into this category; she could easily follow instructions as long as someone showed her at very close range how to perform the task. 

Over the course of the day, I saw children being children. The kids had tantrums, tried to sweet talk their teachers, and whined about having to put on their own shoes. They were also very sweet – laughing a lot, sharing with their peers, some of them asking for hugs or play time.

Two boys dragged us towards the dog while Ai Fei held my hand and stayed close; she gave him a few perfunctory pats, then dashed back to my side.

It was hard to get the kids out of my head after that visit. Though I didn’t return to Doudian, I donated periodically to Bethel and recommended the organization to others. When I went freelance in June of this year, the idea of volunteering took up more space until I finally reached out to Anna.

During our initial meeting, I was surprised to hear that Bethel no longer encouraged one-time visits to Doudian. Anna explained that it was too difficult for the kids; having strangers come in for a day, never to come back was both confusing for them and of limited impact for the organization.

This got me thinking about how little I understand charity work. What are the most impactful ways to help organizations like Bethel? On a more basic level, what are the differences between a non-profit, a charity, a NGO, and a civil society organization?

When discussing the work of child-focused charities, not only is it not helpful to make the children objects of pity, but it can be downright harmful. Most of these kids come from difficult situations such as neglect or abandonment – so framing them as "those poor children" only serves to re-victimize them and overshadow their capabilities and value.

My goal for this blog series is to share with readers all the things that I’m learning about in my volunteering with Bethel so that we may all come to a better understanding of the nature of charity work. Topics might include misconceptions about blind and VI children, adoption in China, fundraising strategies, how grant writing works, and more.

Shameless Self-Promotion Corner!
This is the part where I plug Chi Fan for Charity, one of the biggest fundraising events of the year. Bethel is one of the recipients this year, along with the inspiring Educating Girls of Rural China.

The premise is simple; diners pay a set amount (RMB 500-1,000) for a great multiple-course meal at a Beijing restaurant hosted by a local personality. Participating restaurants include TRB, Duck de Chine, Great Leap, Slow Boat, Caravan, LA Palms, and more. Anna herself will be co-hosting a table at Velvet.

Tip of the Day
Most people aren’t sure how to act around a child with VI. A basic piece of advice is not to do things for them; it might take them longer than a sighted child, but they’ll figure it out.

If you want to guide them towards something, explain what they’ll be touching; they can be afraid of new textures if they don’t know what to expect. Ask them first if you may take their hand; children with VI see through their fingers and are usually protective of their hands.

Sijia Chen is a contributing editor at beijingkids and a freelance writer who has covered travel, tech, culture, parenting, and the environment. Her work has appeared in Travel + Leisure, The Independent, the Beijinger, Midnight Poutine, and more. Follow her on Twitter at @sijiawrites or email her at sijiachen@beijing-kids.com.

Photos: Michael Connors and Sijia Chen

When we arrived at Doudian, we were warmly welcomed by Bethel Development Manager Chloe Banks. She gave us an introduction to the campus and of the history of the orphanage before leading us to see the children and the classrooms.

 

 

 Photos courtesy of Bethel

By now, Bethel needs little introduction to readers of this blog. We’ve featured them in a previous post and gotten a first-hand account of what it’s like to work there from two young volunteers. This winter, the organization is expanding its efforts to help blind and visually impaired orphans with the opening of a new charity store in Shunyi. On December 4, get into the festive spirit by attending Christmas with Bethel, a (fun)draising event for the entire family.

This fun-filled afternoon is part performance, part social event, with games and activities for the entire family. The kids of Bethel will display their talents in song, dance, art, music, and poetry. Attendees can sing along to Christmas favorites with the Bethel choir. All proceeds will go straight to the charity.

RMB 250, RMB 100 (kids). 4-6pm. DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Beijing, 168 Guanganmen Wailu, Xicheng District (zach@bethelchina.org)

Instead of getting rays in Thailand or returning home for a visit, International Academy of Beijing students Abigail (Grade 6) and Emily Lesh (Grade 8) assisted their mother (who was teaching there) and volunteered at Bethel China Foundation all summer long.

Read about their volunteer experience below:

“When our mom first told us about going to Bethel for the summer, we thought it would be really boring. We would be two hours away from our house with no computer and no TV. We would be eating Chinese food every day, and most importantly, no shopping. Plus, it was REALLY hot. Slowly our opinions started to change.

At Bethel, we would do things from teaching English classes, to decorating rooms and organizing boxes. We also helped one of the older kids translate Braille books for their library. The days were long and hot, but it was worth it because at the end of each day we were happy to go to the little boys’ house and play with them before they went to sleep.

Being at Bethel gave us many experiences that we were able to bring back to our everyday lives. Our Chinese improved, and we now feel more confident about using it. We learned how to interact with kids better, and gradually became more comfortable around them. We also experienced what REAL Chinese food tastes like from eating the meals (most of them) at Bethel everyday. Overall, Bethel was an experience worth remembering.

As time went by, the things we did at Bethel felt more like a vacation, and less like work. When we left we were really sad, and we hope we get to visit because we miss the kids already. The summer was definitely not what we expected; it exceeded our expectations. We’re so glad we were able to go.”

To learn more about Bethel, read our previous post here.

Anyone interested in volunteering with Bethel China Foundation may contact them directly.