One of the privileges of working with kids is being able to share in a family’s milestones, including all the big and little celebrations and heartbreaks that make up a life. From first steps through graduation, I am still in touch with students and their families and without a doubt, some of the best moments have been 1st birthdays. The child is blissfully unaware of what is happening but the parents are beaming and so excited to have made it through the exhausting first year.

I have been a guest at a lot of these parties and without fail the parents say, “Please don’t bring gifts.” And, without fail, everyone brings gifts. Bedraggled dads and moms end the day by loading up the minivan with 6-foot tall stuffed giraffes, jumbo puzzles, more clothes than the child can wear before they outgrow them, and cars with “real sirens and lights!” that can’t break soon enough. While they are grateful for the generosity of family and friends, they have no place to put all this stuff. It’s a waste of money and resources, not to mention the child won’t remember or even play with all of it.

But a few innovative families stick out in my memory as having found a way around this dilemma. Here are my top picks for the most creative 1^st birthday parties with limited gifts.

Book Party: This family was military and moved a lot so they didn’t want a bunch of stuff they would need to pack and unpack at each new post. The one exception, however, was books. They loved them, were each in multiple book clubs, and more than happy to haul them all over the world. They wanted their daughter to have a full and diverse library, so instead of saying no gifts, they asked that everyone bring a children’s book. It ensured gifts that would be used and it offered a great party theme (they went with Dr. Seuss and it was adorable).

Balloon Party: This particular mom told me, “She’s 1, she has the attention span of a goldfish! I’m not spending a fortune on toys.” So she asked that every guest bring the coolest balloon they could find. The kids all had a blast playing with them at the party and they took up minimal space in her small apartment but provided plenty of fun over the next week for all three of her kids until they deflated and were happily thrown out.

First Food Memory: This was a serious foodie family. Dad was a chef at a local eatery and mom was a self-proclaimed food groupie. They knew their circle wouldn’t want to show up empty-handed so instead of gifts they asked everyone to contribute to the buffet by bringing their first “food memory.” Whether that was the first thing they remembered eating, something they remembered helping to cook, or just a dish that made them remember their early childhood fondly. Not only was it a highly eclectic lunch, everything from rice crispy treats to PB&J sandwiches to empanadas were on the menu, but it also gave their adult guests a wonderful ice breaker and a chance to ask something other than “so what do you do?” as they mixed and mingled.

Wishing Well: There was a little boy in my class whose parents were well-off and lacked for nothing. They came from much humbler origins and were incredibly worried about raising a spoiled child. They hosted the birthday party in Central Park near the famed Friends fountain and instead of gifts, they asked that each guest make an anonymous donation to a charity of their choice and told everyone that any gifts brought on the day would be donated to Toys For Tots. Then, as the guests began to arrive, they gave everyone a small “wishing token” attached to a card that read: “We wish for him to be kind, generous, and a knowledge seeker. We wish that his life will be filled with love both given and received and we wish for him to find adventure in all things big and small.” Everyone could then go and toss their coin into the fountain and make their own wish for the birthday boy. It was incredibly sweet and memorable.

Obviously, there is nothing wrong with gifts, and showering a little one with presents is always fun. But these events stick out to me because the lack of gifts or limiting of them allowed all of the guests to focus on reliving the memories of the past year and being fully present (pun intended) to create new ones.

If you have other alternate gifting ideas, please share them in the comments!

KEEP READING: Beijing’s Foodie Emperor Shares His Favorite Family-Friendly Eats

Images: Unsplash

Birthdays are your kids’ special days, the one day a year that is all about celebrating their life, so of course, we want to make it the coolest and most wonderful memory! But depending on what your kids want, or your budget, or your desire to DIY, Beijing has a lot of amazing choices for the most special day of your child’s year.

Many of these spots require knowledge of Mandarin to read their offerings, or in some cases, you’ll need to walk in to obtain the right information. But we’ve linked to their listing and given details when possible, so print it out and favorite on WeChat so you have the information handy whenever you need it!

Black Sesame Kitchen and Qianmen @BSK

Blend of traditional Chinese and Western cultural activities, cooking classes, and food available. Mix and match a la carte activities.

Maximum: up to 80 people
Price Range: Prices begin at RMB 280 per child, with options for full space rental beginning at RMB 4,000.
Offered: Children’s cooking classes from baozi, dumpling, pizza or cake; karaoke, clowns, crafts, pinatas; lunch & canapes or wine ‘n dine options.
Notes: package flexible based on party’s needs.
WeChat ID: BlackSesameKitchen

By.Loft playground (Bao Yan Le Yuan) 

Minimum:10 children + 10 parents
Price Range: starts from RMB 7888-9888
Offered: Basic package includes invitations, birthday ceremony, birthday costume and access to the water park/indoor playground’ upgrades include a clown, supplies, and food
WeChat ID: cxd19991120

Kerry Adventure Zone

Enjoy the play space with lots of places to climb, play, and slide, then move to a private party room.
Price Range: Contact for details
Offered: choice of kid-friendly entrees, birthday cake, decorated themed room (dragon, panda, wizard rooms), and passes to Adventure Zone for all guests
WeChat ID: KerryHotelBeijing

Domino’s Pizza

Chefs help party guests create their own pizza, which they then eat, with a space to play and enjoy a clown.
Price Range: Contact venue directly for more information
Offered: cooking, clown, cake, balloons
Notes: When I attended a party there, the clown made machine guns for the kids. You might want to be specific about what they can make or not.

Escape Room 尖叫空间 奇幻馆 

Price Range: Contact for details
Offered: for younger kids, enjoy the many rooms of Imaginarium Zone where you take priceless pictures with friends that will twist your mind. Teens 14 and older can rent an escape room that is frightening, scary or tattoo-themed.
Ph: 139 1039 4116

K-SHOW 酷秀KTV

Book a room in advance for a private song and dance party. Here’s all you need to know!
Price Range: RMB 91-169/person
Offered: light snacks, karaoke, some have themes like superheroes and Peppa Pig
Contact: Multiple venues listed here.

LEGOland Discovery Center

LEGO master building, 4d movie experiences, and your favorite LEGO characters will share the birthday festivities with you and your guests.

Minimum: 15 people
Maximum: none listed
Price Range: RMB 388-488/person
Offered: food, snacks, special builds, access to LEGO Discovery Center that day
WeChat ID (personal party planner): 太阳和五毛钱

The Moncy Room in Chaoyang Park

A beautiful park and camp-like experience, but you pay dearly for it.
Price Range: RMB 12,000-50,000
Offered: contact for more information
WeChat ID: MONCYCLUB

Kimo Cafe

Enjoy a multi-level, varied experience from dress-up play, a nail salon, grocery store, ball pit, and more. Private room for birthdays available, but book early as they are very popular.
Price Range: Contact for rates.
Contact: 8771 5506

O’le Sports Center
Rock climbing, slackline, football, adventure – this is the party for adventurous kids.
Price Range: starts at RMB 120/child (not including food)
Offered: Choose the main activity to start, then add items as needed
Email: oleclimbing@gmail.com

Other unique places or restaurants that are birthday/child friendly: British Tea Room, Din Tai Feng (Chunxiu), Hi-Fun 嗨翻 竞技主题乐园, The Hutong, Annie’s, Kidsteam, Lefun Trampoline Park, Mirour  (PPKIDS_INC), Quanjude (duck restaurant), The Pizza Show, Sip ‘n Paint (Shunyi)

KEEP READING: Socially Distanced Birthday Cakes: Why on Earth Didn’t We Do This Before?

Images: Venues, Cindy Marie Jenkins

Fundazzle, Beijing’s iconic indoor playground with the city’s largest ball pit, is closing down for good at the end of this month after a 20-year run.

The massive indoor play area at the southeast corner of Gongti has been loved by both kids and their parents for a generation. Built inside a massive abandoned natatorium, its main attractions were a massive three-story puzzle-like jungle-gym and the biggest ball pit in Beijing that filled the deep end of the mothballed swimming pool.

For most of its history, Fundazzle was virtually the only indoor play option — and certainly the biggest — in the city. Long before the explosion of indoor trampoline parks, mall play centers, and international school indoor gyms, Fundazzle was the go-to place for indoor fun for tens of thousands of families.

It would not be a stretch to say that every single expat parent that raised a child in pre-Olympics Beijing had been there at least once, and many made it a regular stopover on their child’s social calendar.

Gated at the front, padded at every sharp corner, and staffed with plenty of surly ladies who kept the swarms of kids from descending into complete anarchy, it was the type of place where a parent would have no problem letting their young ones play unsupervised for hours.

Parents could rest on the barstool perches or sprawl out on one of the mats that ringed the play area as their kids went nuts.

It was always a little grimy, the staff was always a little grumpy, and slightly creepy murals filled with distorted renditions of off-brand cartoon characters were a bit unnerving.

Bobo, the clown with an anxiety disorder

Jitters, the horse that’s scared of children

But despite its foibles, it was a guaranteed good time for toddlers to pre-teens.

My 9-year-old daughter all but grew up there. No season of her young life in Beijing has passed without attending a birthday or two at Fundazzle, and though she’s almost at the stage where she’s a bit too pre-teen, she was despondent to hear of its closure and anxiously wants to schedule a final visit before it closes for good.

A tersly-worded statement (in Chinese only) was send out via Fundazzle’s WeChat account yesterday, simply stating: “Dear Customers： Because our operation period (20 years) is almost expired, and after careful research, we have decided to close as of Jan 1, 2017. Thank you for your many years of support, and we deeply regret any inconvenience caused.”

We have no word on what is to become of the venue, but the whole southeast end of the Gongti area is now sectioned off by a large, temporary blue wall. About half the storefronts on the same strip are already vacant, which likely means the structures in the area will be torn down for redevelopment.

If you’ve never been, you’ve got two more weeks to experience this one-of-a-kind Beijing experience. If you’re a veteran you’ll want make a trip to say your final goodbyes before the end of the year.

Memberships and Subscriptions
The long-running Hutong has it all: cooking classes (more on those below), tea tours, cultural experience, events, and more. A general membership costs RMB 200 per year and entitles the holder to 10-25 percent discounts on all Hutong programs and events. After the year is up, the membership can be extended for only RMB 100. If there’s an enthusiastic home cook in your life, consider the culinary membership (RMB 1,500 per year) for up to two people, which includes any six cooking classes. ‘

Several international culture centers also offer memberships. I’m a member of the excellent French Cultural Center’s Médiathèque, a lending library of books, periodicals, and DVDs with a children’s corner. I initially joined the library to keep up my French but have found that the Médiathèque offers a clean, quiet space to work as well. Regular membership costs RMB 240 per year (RMB 120 for students and teachers) or RMB 100 per quarter.

The Cervantes Institute also has a lending library with Spanish-language books and materials. Membership costs RMB 210 per year (half price for students, retirees, and children).

Sidecar Tours
Founded by Frenchman Gael Thoreau, Beijing Sideways specializes in tours of Beijing and the Great Wall by motorcycle sidecar. Options include two-hour, four-hour, and one-day tours of Beijing; a two-hour night tour of Beijing; a one-day tour of the Wild Great Wall; and the deluxe two-day (or 1.5-day) tour with an overnight stay at the Great Wall and a Beijing city tour.

Each motorcycle can take up to two passengers; assuming two people per bike, the two-hour city tour costs RMB 1,100 for the first passenger and RMB 600 for the second while a four-hour city tour costs RMB 1,400 for the first passenger and RMB 900 for the second.

Cooking Classes
Food is one of the best ways to access a country’s culture and history. What better way to spend a frigid winter afternoon than making and eating your own Chinese dishes with friends and family?

The Hutong has a variety of cooking classes featuring Chinese regional cuisines such as Sichuan, Yunnan, and Shanxi as well as specific dishes like xiaolongbao, hand-pulled noodles, and dumplings (RMB 300 per person, RMB 260 for members).

Black Sesame Kitchen also offers lunchtime cooking classes every Wednesday and Sunday from 11am-2pm (RMB 300 per person) out of its hutong location near the Forbidden City.

Closer to town, China Culture Center has a class on dumpling-making and hand-pulled noodles, with private events available for 1-20 people. Regular classes cost RMB 250 for adults and RMB 180 for kids under 12.

Dive the Great Wall
I’m hopelessly biased when it comes to scuba diving. Not only is SinoScuba founder Steven Schwankert a former colleague, he’s also a friend and my dive instructor. My sister and I first dived with him in July of 2013, an experience that eventually led me to Thailand, Indonesia, and the Philippines for further PADI training. Last July, Steven certified me as a Rescue Diver in Puerto Galera, Philippines.

However, Beijing residents don’t need to go far to suit up. Every year, Steven leads scuba diving trips to a submerged section of the Great Wall at the Panjiakou Reservoir. Sure, you won’t see exotic fish or enjoy 60m visibility, but you’ll be joining an exclusive club of people who can say they’ve dived the Great Wall. Prices and dates will be available by the end of the month.

Offbeat Fitness Classes
Crossfit Slash is best-known for, well, CrossFit, but it also offers a rapidly-expanding array of fitness classes from its studio, including aerial silks, poledancing, Irish dancing, aerial hoop, bellydance, and burlesque. RMB 180 per class.

Led by the rock-hard Alona Vostrikova, Alone Pilates offers two unusual fitness classes apart from its signature Pilates: a hula-hoop class focusing on sculpting the butt and “Pilates cardio ballet,” a ballet-inspired class using a barre. Call for prices.

Today happens to be my boyfriend’s birthday; because he’s a foodie, we’ll be celebrating with a home-cooked dinner tonight and a private cooking class at The Hutong on Sunday with friends.

Sijia Chen is a contributing editor at beijingkids and a freelance writer specializing in parenting, education, travel, environment, and culture. Her work has appeared in Travel + Leisure, The Independent, Midnight Poutine, Rover Arts, and more. Follow her on Twitter at @sijiawrites or email her at sijiachen@beijing-kids.com.

Photos: Creative Commons image courtesy of kris krug on Flickr

With Easter just a couple of weeks away, now is the perfect time to send your kids to the Chocolate Academy at Domain inside the East Hotel. Chef Grace gives kids a chance to try their skills at the art of decorating chocolate eggs. The lessons are on Wednesday evenings 5:30pm and last for about one hour. During the class, Chef Grace reveals how to transform chocolate into different colors and apply it like paint to the chocolate eggs she creates in advance. Kids (and parents too) can also use chocolate chips, jellybeans, and gumdrops to decorate their chocolate wonders.

For Reina’s lesson, Grace brought out a white owl. The pupil was surprised to see an owl, but quickly came up with ideas for transforming it and to make it tastier and Grace helped implement Reina’s more challenging ideas like chocolate eye lashes. Grace speaks a little English, but she is more at ease using Chinese.

Besides taking home their chocolate creation and any leftover decorations, kids also get to keep their aprons and receive official chocolatier certificates.

Be sure to call Domain at 8414 9830 at least a day in advance to make a reservation so Chef Grace has time to make the chocolate eggs. The class is RMB 200 with an additional 15 percent per egg.

Bring your smiles. Snacking on the decorations is encouraged.

Photo: Christopher Lay

The parents of a 5-year-old schoolboy in the UK were recently invoiced for failing to attend a school friend’s birthday party. The dad found a brown envelope with a £15.95 (RMB 153) “no show fee” left in their son’s schoolbag sent by his classmate’s mother. She claimed that the boy’s failure to attend her child’s birthday party had left her out-of-pocket, and that his parents should have informed her that their son would not be attending the party. The invoice amount was the cost of one child to attend the party that was held at a ski and snow board facility. The kid in question didn’t attend the party because he went to visit his grandparents that day instead. Whilst his parents understand that their no-show wasn’t in good manners, they felt the act of invoicing them was unnecessary and in really bad taste.

When the story got out into the public domain, there followed thousands of commenters on Facebook, twitter, and news feeds. The public seemed to be split, those that thought it was ridiculous to invoice for a no-show, saying that as a parent you have to be prepared for a few no-shows on the day of a party. The very act of throwing a party is one of open-handedness, in which all risk should fall upon the party organizer i.e. the parent. Some were saying that if the parents couldn’t afford to take the financial hit themselves for any no-shows, they shouldn’t have been holding the party at an expensive venue.

Others thought the mother was right to invoice, that the no-show parents should have let her know they couldn’t attend. That way she could have reduced the guest numbers down, so she wouldn’t have been out of pocket, or she could have invited another child in his place. Some commenters went so far as to say they love the idea of the no-show invoice, suggesting it should be extended to charge parents who don’t RSVP but then turn up, and for those who bring siblings along to a party unannounced, leaving the host frantically trying to find enough food and party bag contents for those surprise guests.

So when did the whole issue of kids birthday parties become such a minefield? When I was a kid, we used to be content just going round the birthday boy or girl’s house, playing a few party games like pass the parcel and musical chairs, then stuffing ourselves with sandwiches, cocktail sausages, and jelly and ice cream.

We gave the birthday kid a present that we would have selected ourselves and probably paid for out of our own pocket money. When the party was over, we went home with a piece of cake and a goody bag with a pencil and ruler in it. If it was a “significant” birthday, like becoming a teenager, then you might be lucky enough to go ten-pin bowling with friends. I guess I’m showing my age, but I do feel nostalgic for the simplicity of the birthday parties of my youth.

Today, anywhere specifically geared towards a party will charge between RMB 150 and 400 per child. There is a school of thought amongst some parents that says you have to invite the whole class. This can ratchet the price up so insanely that the only option is to have it in your house, where a party entertainer with a loud voice and a colorful jacket will happily relieve you of a few thousand kuai for two hours spent shouting at the children.

Goody bags have become more like gift bags, professional photographers are becoming more common, and because you know how much the birthday kid’s parents will be spending on the party, you feel that any gift you give should be of at least a certain value.

This brings me to another story which also made headlines recently. A British TV and radio presenter posted an image to Instagram which showed two mothers asking for “a suggested £10 (RMB 96) donation” towards birthday gifts for their kids, so they could buy their daughters “a Kindle and a desk” rather than receive individual small gifts from their classmates.

The radio presenter thought this idea was in terrible taste, and that birthdays shouldn’t be about money exchanges. The presenter questioned what expectations a child may have at 15 if they get a Kindle at age 7. I agree with her entirely and I don’t think cash requests will become the norm. However, with regards to birthday parties, I think the lavish celebrations that are common today are indeed here to stay.

beijingkids Shunyi Correspondent Sally Wilson moved to Beijing in 2010 from the UK with her husband and son. Her daughter was born here in 2011 and both her kids keep her happily busy. In her spare time, Sally loves to stroll through Beijing’s hutongs and parks. She is a (most of the time) keen runner and loves reading: books, magazines, news, and celeb websites – anything really. Sally is also a bit of a foodie and loves trying out new restaurants. 

Photos: Alison Smith, Ron’s – Moments in Time, Angela Rudy (Flickr)

It’s never too early to plan your child’s birthday and doing your homework just got easier with the latest issue of the beijingkids. The November issue features where to get your hands on cakes, decorations, entertainment, a list of seasonal venues (with and without birthday packages), and tips from parents on what’s needed in the birthday checklist.

Give thanks this (American) Thanksgiving that falls on November 27 in the three different alternatives compiled in our dining section. Also get a detailed description to baking and decorating a birthday cake from Charlotte Friis-Lodahl as she makes delicious Teddy Bear cake and British pizza parlor PizzaExpress touches down in Sanlitun Taikooli.

Beijing Sideways takes a family out and about the city on their sidecar and get a condensed history version of Beijing’s new and old. The Cruz family share with us their Bogota and San Andres Island.

We introduce our new health columnist, Clinical Psychologist Dr. George Hu from Beijing United Family Hospital as he explores the meaning of birthdays and Dr. Melissa Rodriguez discuss the effects of sugar. The health feature of the month touches on fussy eaters and how to deal with meals.

We spotlight the Andy Horowitz of Andy Sausages, PPKids that recently opened in Indigo, and Bianca Teti‘s makeover to fiery hot in our living section. Hear what Beijing Baba, Christopher Lay and the Echo Chamber, Ember Swift talk about nostalgia and power blackout respectively.

As for our schooled article, find out what three kids think about wearing uniforms from different schools that have and do not have school uniforms policies. There’s also the perspective of a student attending a local school. We hear from Beijing BISS International School students as they debate tech addiction. We showcase the young ones at Beanstalk Wanghu Kindergaten in Blank Canvas.

Due to the car restrictions imposed during to APEC Summit, delivery of the magazine will take a few extra days to reach your usual pick up points. Before then find the online version here. If you can’t find a print version email  distribution@beijing-kids.com

So it’s time to organize yet another birthday party. You’ve hung up the decorations, blown up one too many balloons, and prepped the goodie bags for the hordes of kids set to invade your house. And yet, there’s still something missing. You need an element of whimsy, something magical and fun that will put other parties to shame and cement your reputation as the cool parent.

Well, what could be more whimsical and fun than a photobooth? Not the kind that sits in a mall, either; photo studio (and frequent beijingkids collaborator) Mishka Photography has teamed up with Photoland to present “the first photobooth in China,” a mobile photobooth that can be rented out for special occasions and produces high-quality pictures.

The photobooth has two modes: classic and studio mode. The classic mode is exactly what it sounds like: a classic photobooth that has a curtain background and can hold up to four people. In studio mode, the booth size is the same, but there’s more versatility when it comes to background choices, number of people, and lighting setups.

There are three photobooth packages that range from RMB 3,600-6,000 depending on how many hours you rent for and what perks you’d like to include. For a limited time, Mishka is offering a 50 percent discount on all the packages.

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead, call it like it is: You’re the cool parent.

Photos courtesy of Mishka Photography and Photoland

There are certain milestone ages kids look forward to reaching, and for a variety of reasons.  Where I come from (the US), turning 16 means getting a driver’s license; 18 means you’re legal and can vote; and 21 means you can drink alcohol.  Turning the big 3-0 or 4-0 or any 0 sometimes hits a nerve, and at 65 you can retire.  Little kids are perhaps less into the future than we are, though, so they might focus on turning five and going to kindergarten.  Or turning 10, ending the single-digit era forever.

My oldest daughter Leah turns 10 this week.  All last year she looked forward to the double digits, seeing the possibility of a mobile phone in her future, among other things.  But as the date neared, her attitude changed.  Not trying to personally dwell on the inevitable, I would casually tease that she was getting old, or that I couldn’t possibly be 10 years older myself.  Instead of joking back, she very seriously would tell me, “Stop saying that,” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”  After a little prodding about this change of heart, emotions got the best of Leah.  Through quivering lips she said, “But … that means in only eight years I won’t be around you all the time anymore.”

What?!  This, coming from the child who practically walked out of my body at birth she was so independent?  I was taken aback.  But then I quickly realized she’s still very much a little girl.  Double digits or not, she’s starting to recognize that maybe being young and protected and taken care of isn’t such a bad thing after all.  I happen to love this new phase she’s in, however brief it may be. 

The double digit rite of passage has turned out to be a bigger deal than even I anticipated.  We parents know that time passes much too quickly as we watch our children grow.  While I try to embrace every age and stage my kids go through, it’s nice to see that even Leah isn’t quite ready to grow up too fast.

Happy birthday to Leah, always my little girl.