After spending a significant portion of my life, a total of 14 years, at Beijing Royal School (BRS), the most invaluable lesson I’ve learned is how to make independent decisions. In a boarding school like BRS, students form a close-knit community where the responsibility for decision-making falls squarely on their shoulders. With the assistance and guidance of my advisors and mentors, I have the freedom to make choices that directly impact my life – a skill that will serve me well in the future when deciding on colleges or careers.

BRS has also honed my ability to adapt to diverse environments. With students hailing from various regions across China, each with their unique cultures and customs, attending a boarding school like this has allowed me to gradually develop the skill of adjusting and coexisting with individuals from different backgrounds and belief systems. Additionally, the diversity isn’t limited to just the students; the teachers also comprise individuals from diverse backgrounds. This enriches my educational experience and provides me with the opportunity to learn from educators with a wide range of perspectives and experiences.

I still vividly recall my first experience living on campus. It happened during an English camp over my winter break in the third grade, where we were required to stay at the school for a two-week session. Adapting to campus life was relatively easy, thanks to our school’s routine of primary students taking a nap during the lunch break. We were all accommodated in the student dormitories, so staying on campus didn’t pose much concern. However, the challenge lay in not returning home in the evening. As a day student prior to this, I had no previous experience of residing with friends. No one had ever taught me how to integrate into a close-knit group, and during the initial days of the camp, I felt anxious and frustrated, uncertain about how to handle unforeseen situations.

Fortunately, my tutor noticed my apprehension and paired me with a girl who also resided in the same dormitory. The presence of close friends makes adapting to a new environment much more manageable. Amy, the girl my tutor teamed me up with, was welcoming and provided insights into the life of a boarding student. We spent our evenings chatting about our daily experiences, and after tiring days of skiing, we would lie on our beds, gazing at the ceiling as if it were adorned with stars. As the camp progressed, we even enjoyed playing hide and seek in our dormitories with our peers and resident advisors.

Although the winter camp was brief, it marked my first exposure to an unfamiliar environment. This experience boosted my self-confidence, preparing me for various future endeavors such as traveling abroad to participate in numerous events, including camps, exams, and joining music theatre troupes. I became adept at handling unexpected situations and fostering new friendships.

I know the first question on every parent’s mind. How does a school ensure safety for young boarders?

The school is on top of keeping the little ones safe. They’ve got all these different staff members who are experts in different things, like the clinic doctors and the dorm administrators.

Back in the third grade, we were assigned to dorm rooms with four kids, and they were strict about keeping girls and boys in separate rooms. We had this one dorm administrator living on our floor who was essentially our ultimate guardian angel. She’d handle the morning wake-up calls, make sure the lights were out at night, and be on top of any emergencies that came up.

If we ever got sick or injured, our dorm administrators would rush us over to the school’s clinic for a quick checkup. And guess what? There were these 24-hour clinics right on the first floor of our dorms, which was pretty convenient. If things got serious, they’d give our parents a call for further treatment. They had our backs all the time. Plus, kids were allowed to bring phones on campus, but we only had access to them at specific times, such as lunchtime or dinner times so we could be in constant touch with our parents, family, and friends outside of school.

Boarding at a school like BRS taught me how to adapt to different societies and environments I might encounter in the future. It instilled in me the value of forging meaningful connections with strangers and thriving in unfamiliar surroundings – a lesson that transcends mere words and can only be truly grasped through experience.

Now, as a senior at BRS, I approach my upcoming journey abroad with confidence, knowing that BRS has equipped me with the skills to navigate diverse environments and build relationships with others.

Aside from the academic grind, this school is all about keeping our mental health in check. They’ve got a bunch of student-led clubs and mental health awareness campaigns going on. And when it comes to dealing with personal stuff, they’ve got our backs.

Over at the school’s psychological consultation room, they host all sorts of psychology events to help us out. But it’s not just about that – they encourage us to connect with our counselors and teachers if we’re going through tough times. It’s like a whole support system to make sure we’re doing okay mentally. It’s pretty awesome, honestly.

Looking back, it’s heartwarming to remember how my journey at BRS began. My parents chose BRS because it is an esteemed international school, and it has played a significant role in nurturing my English language skills from a tender age. What adds to the nostalgia is the boarding school atmosphere at BRS, which naturally led to the formation of deep, lifelong friendships with classmates. As boarders, we practically live together, sharing our daily activities and experiences. These moments when we are together not only strengthen our academic bonds but also give us evenings filled with heartfelt conversations about our lives outside of classes. Graduation is approaching, and I am treasuring my final days at Beijing Royal School, realizing that these familiar walls will forever feel like a second home.

Images: Sandy

Live, study and play, all in the same place, while asserting your own independence and being 100% responsible for your choices – does this sound appealing to your child? Then perhaps boarding school is the path to consider for their education.

Boarding schools have existed for centuries, with the earliest form of such schooling existing for boys who were sent away to train as literate clergymen. While boarding schools have evolved with the times, across the globe today boys still outnumber girls in co-ed boarding schools, and boys-only boarding schools are more common than the all-girl equivalent. That said, plenty about boarding schools has changed, so you can forget that archaic image of an intimidating, ivy-covered stone building with a stern headmaster waiting to dole out discipline like hot cross buns at Easter.

After researching and interviewing local boarding school staff, a UK boarding school alum, and a prospective student, I feel safe now in saying that boarding school can be likened to a more controlled college experience that also caters to a younger crowd. In the US, the most popular age to send kids off to boarding school is between 14 and 16, or grades 9 and 10, though it is not unheard of to send kids as young as 7. A local-born acquaintance even bragged that he was sent to boarding school in the UK when he was just 5 years old! Now that he is a parent to two young boys, he has made it clear that boarding schools loom very possibly in their near future as well.

By summer’s end this year, when 15-year-old Thomas Willats steps onto the Holyport College campus in his home country of the UK, the Willats family will join the proud ranks of families who pass on the boarding school legacy from father to son. The funny thing is that Dulwich College (London) alum and father Alex Willats had neither planned nor initiated this move.

“It was Thomas who came to us and told us he wanted to go to boarding school,” reveals Thomas’ mother, Claire Willats. After being educated at seven different schools in six countries over the last decade, Thomas is looking for a calmer, more stable environment where he can forge long-lasting friendships in the tight-knit community of a boarding school. “I see my father staying in touch on a daily basis with friends he made back in school even now, and I really want that,” yearns Thomas.

While it was the stability and promise of kinship that lured Thomas, it was the local COVID situation, particularly the restrictions on after-school activities, that catalyzed his decision at this time. With the start-stop nature of school and extracurricular activities in Beijing, Thomas hasn’t been able to fully develop his potential in his passions, such as rowing. This is why he’s rather excited about the top-notch sporting facilities at Holyport College and having access to the amazing facilities at Eton College, their neighbor.

Are his parents worried at all about Thomas going off on his own at such a tender age? Considering that dad Alex entered boarding school himself when he was just 11, you might think not, but mom Claire says, “He’s used to being the ‘new kid’ all the time, so I’m not worried about him making friends, but I am worried that he won’t remember to call his mom.”

As for the challenges ahead, Thomas himself is concerned about “keeping his room clean,” even though Claire shares that “I’ve always made sure they are quite self-sufficient by teaching them how to cook and clean for themselves.” She ensures both her kids clean their own bathrooms on the weekends and cook family dinners once or twice a week. Not out of necessity, mind you, but because she abhors “lazy kids.”

“We’ve been privileged in our lives, but we have always gone out of the way to make sure the kids understand there are others living in very different worlds out there.” From bringing their kids along to impoverished villages in needy countries where Claire herself helped initiate vaccination programs for the underprivileged, to volunteering Thomas as a pretend attacker in her community self-defense classes, it seems that the Willats parents have exposed their children to people and situations from all walks of life, in order to build up their tolerance physically, mentally and emotionally.

At the end of the day, that’s really all that we as parents can do for our children – to prepare them to go off into the world on their own, even if that moment comes earlier than we had anticipated, as it did in Claire and Alex’s case.

“When Thomas told us that he wanted to go to boarding school, I didn’t want him to go. But at the same time, I know that if he goes he’ll have a wonderful experience,” relents dad Alex. Claire followed up saying, “I think there’s much more chance for him to thrive in an environment he’s chosen. We’re giving him the latitude to follow his own destiny.”

And if it means anything, by the end of our lovely chat over afternoon tea, the Willatses’ younger son, 9-year-old Henry, said, while hugging his big brother, “I want to join Thomas in boarding school when I’m 11.”

This article appeared in the jingkids 2022 Graduation issue

So you’re ready to head off to boarding school, or just want to learn more about the experience. What are some things you should be aware of? Here are some pieces of advice from a boarding school student studying abroad in the United States.

I am a student at Episcopal High School, located in Alexandria, Virginia. We have a 100% boarding rate and around 440 students. I’ve been studying abroad for two years overall and hope to share my experience with others.

Something I believe many would be interested to learn about would be living with a roommate. The most important piece of advice to give is to always talk it out when problems arise. No matter how small you may think the issue is, don’t hesitate to bring it up. Your roommate is the person you must live with for a year, and you want to make that experience as pleasant as possible. Don’t make it your responsibility to endure your roommate’s bad habits.

Another important rooming tip never room with a close friend. Instead, look for somebody with similar life habits as you. Rooming can ruin the closest of friendships, and it is a well-known norm to not room with close friends.

Something you must consider when studying abroad, especially during Covid, would be where to stay during holidays. Almost all students choose not to go home due to the complicated procedures and 3-weeks quarantine.

Some options concerning places to stay include staying with friends, teachers, or a host family.

Personally, I prefer staying in a hotel with classmates. It provides the most privacy and freedom and you can fill your holiday with fun activities. For example, over the winter holiday, five classmates and I went on a trip to New York together. This was a delightful experience that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

When it comes to choosing classes, many people are under the misconception that the more honors and AP courses you choose, the better.

In reality, it is always much better to drop the honor, get a good grade, and spend time enjoying your life. Don’t overpush yourself, especially during your freshman and sophomore years. These are the two years where you should take more time to have fun because soon you’ll be facing the pressure of standardized exams and applying for university.

High school should be a fun and exciting experience. Create memories and have a good time.

Images: Unsplash, Pexels, Cindy Luo

Boarding school has been getting a lot of buzz in recent years, meaning it’s fairly new territory for parents and students alike. Countless hours are spent filling out applications and writing letters of intent, interviewing with multiple schools, and of course, taking standardized tests. All told, it’s a process that requires a lot of time and effort, all of which essentially boils down to a single question: Is applying to these top boarding schools worth it? 

There isn’t one simple answer, as each student’s experience is different and no one will really know until they arrive in a boarding school environment. As such, in our two-part series, we spoke with two boarding school veterans who give their testimonials and insights into the boarding school journey. 

In the second part of our Boarding School Insights series, Emily Hellqvist shares her experience repeating her Sophomore year (10th grade) with The Hotchkiss School.

Pro: Forces child to become independent

I grew up confident that I could thrive on my own. When I was a student at the International School of Beijing (ISB), I was able to handle all of my academics as well as extracurriculars plus two – and for a while three – instruments. If I could balance so much so well, I was definitely boarding school ready.

However, when I actually got into Hotchkiss and started there in the Fall of 2019, everything came crashing down. I was struggling with intense academics, juggling a social life – especially as a new student making friends – and a storm of extracurriculars and sports, all of which made it difficult to stay afloat. On top of all of that, I had to keep my dorm room clean? You’ve got to be kidding. Long story short, I was drowning. I missed my parents and I missed my cats. What was I doing at Hotchkiss?

You might be wondering why my struggles are listed under the pros section? Bottom line, it forced me to swim with the tides.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, and there was no way I could handle everything without smart planning. So for the first time, I opened the school-issued planner and began to list out all of the work I had to do for each class, marking down the due dates and breaking projects into manageable sizes. Slowly, with the help of support systems at Hotchkiss, I started to find my footing, my homesickness began to wane, and I felt more comfortable in the boarding school environment. The reason I tell this story is because even though I thought I was independent, boarding school proved me wrong and forced me to really be independent. Boarding school isn’t about adjusting to school, it’s about adjusting and making decisions for your own life. For me, I learned more in less than a year (academically and about life) than three years at my previous school. The atmosphere is just completely different. Yes, that’s daunting, but you gain skills in high school that you would otherwise figure out much later in life.

Con: For parents, you’ll miss your children!

“How are kids growing up so fast?” is a common question that’s asked by countless parents around the world. In Beijing specifically, many kids spend their days under their parents’ hawk-like supervision, so the idea of them being 10,000 kilometers away can sound extremely daunting.

As previously mentioned, kids like me who go to boarding school will miss their parents. But, it can be even tougher on the parents than it is on the students. In the weeks leading up to my first trip to the US as a boarding student, my mother – who’s always hated cooking but makes delicious food – would ask what I wanted to eat and do whatever she could to fulfill my wishes before I left. The point here is to illustrate a parent’s often desperate feeling of wanting to spend more time with their kid or spoil them a bit more before they head off to boarding school (parents with children who’ve gone off to university probably resonate with this feeling as well).

To be sure, this reaction is a completely normal one, especially since parents also know how busy we get once the school year starts. Sometimes we really don’t have time to pick up your phone calls. Especially for a lot of Chinese parents who are used to playing the role of chauffeur, driving their kids around to different classes on the weekends, or regularly cooking their children’s favorite meal, the nest can feel empty.

Personally, I feel that this con is part and parcel of the pro. That is, I know it’s tough to let go, but if your kid is ready and willing to take the plunge, encourage them and let them make their own choices in a safe environment. Hey, it’s better than to let them make mistakes now rather than later in life when the stakes are higher, right?

Conclusion

At the end of the day, everything has its pros and cons, so it’s up to the individual family to decide whether or not boarding school is worth it. For both of us though, it was an incredible opportunity that we could not pass up. Despite the struggles, we have found ourselves loving this arduous journey that has made us better and more ambitious people.

And if you’re struggling with the boarding school scheme of things, it’s never a bad idea to try out in-person summer programs that a lot of these schools offer (post-Covid of course).

Reach out if there are any questions or thoughts you’d like to share with us!

KEEP READING: The Public’s Presumption of Private Schools

Images: Unsplash

Boarding school has been getting a lot of buzz in recent years, meaning it’s fairly new territory for parents and students alike. Countless hours are spent filling out applications and writing letters of intent, interviewing with multiple schools, and of course, taking standardized tests. All told, it’s a process that requires a lot of time and effort, all of which essentially boils down to a single question: Is applying to these top boarding schools worth it? 

There isn’t one simple answer, as each student’s experience is different and no one will really know until they arrive in a boarding school environment. As such, in our two-part series, we spoke with two boarding school veterans who give their testimonials and insights into the boarding school journey. 

First up, we hear from Cynthia Zhang, age 16, who was boarded at Northfield Mount Hermon School during her Junior (11th grade) level.

Pro: The sky is your limit for trying new things!

With that being said, children are no longer under their parents’ supervision or micro-management several thousand miles away while at boarding school. For the most part, they are liberated from the pressures and expectations of their parents. It’s a chance to start fresh and discover what they might have been subconsciously suppressing at home and potentially uncover their true passions. That’s what I accomplished through the overwhelming support of the endless academic and extracurricular offerings at my boarding school.

I discovered my passion for jazz piano working with the jazz combo at school, I fell in love with history after completing a 20-page research paper on the Rohingyas in Myanmar, and I started to run cross-country – an opportunity I never would have had if I stayed in my previous school. It was through these life-changing experiences that I began to gain tremendous academic and personal growth, as well as developing a better understanding of my identity. With the intellectual curiosity my teachers helped instill in me, I now apply it to searching for untapped realms that I want to explore, like the intersections of music, history, and politics.

If your child has been disengaged with schoolwork and always needs a bit of extra nudging from you, while you feel utter fatigue having to take them to different places for classes five days a week, maybe boarding school will carve a path for their education by extending their learning beyond rigid classroom walls and your scrutiny that harms both your and their mental and physical health.

Con: For students, it’ll be a culture shock

Going to boarding school is different from simply placing yourself in an international school environment in China because you’ll now be experiencing cultural differences unique to the place you’re living. When I first came to the US, I had no clue what small talk was, let alone masterfully engaging in it. My previous international school never taught me how to make small-talk, largely because my friends spoke Chinese and it isn’t a custom in Chinese culture. What is the point of asking someone how their day went if, frankly, you don’t really care and both of you could use the time doing something more worthwhile? But I had to pick it up fast since I didn’t want to be regarded as the odd one who didn’t recognize “proper social cues.” 

Another cultural shock was the dreadfully inefficient delivery service. In China, I was pampered with out-of-province packages that arrived in two to three days, five days at most, and the abnormally fast SF Express. When I ordered my first package in the US, I wasn’t ready to patiently wait a week and a half. What made it more agonizing was that there was also no data available to track where my package was. The only expected arrival date was in five-day increments, compared to the half-day period predicted by Chinese shipping providers. So for my second order on Amazon, I couldn’t stand another painful ten-day wait and got an Amazon Prime subscription. I had heard complaints about the sluggish speed of shipments in America, but trust me, when you’re the consumer waiting for your order, it hits differently. 

And then there was the calling-your-teacher-by-their-first-name that’s entirely unheard of in international schools and even the majority of schools in the US. At my boarding school, students traditionally call their teachers Will, John, Chris, Meredith, and Meg. At first, it made me fairly uncomfortable to address them without the Mr. or Ms. title and last name, but after a few days, I became accustomed to it. For some, the informality might even come across as being disrespectful to authority figures, when in reality, it’s just a uniquely American value. Thus, they refuse to accept the norm and stick to tradition. One of my classmates who used to follow the British curriculum referenced our chemistry teacher as “Miss” the whole semester. He did not bother to change one bit.

These forced assimilations left me disoriented during my first few months in the US and will be excruciating for any non-native with little prior exposure to Western culture. It’s definitely a deterring factor and should be considered in your decision to send your children to boarding school or not. But, with some extra effort, your child will not only learn how to adapt to all kinds of cultural spheres but also cultivate a shrewd eye for perceiving cultural differences while interpreting and embracing all of them.

Watch out for fellow intern Emily‘s boarding school takeaways in our next article in the series!

KEEP READING: Rory Gilmore, a Cautionary Tale For “Perfect Students”

Images: Unsplash

For those of you who are planning to attend either a boarding school or university abroad, it’s the time of the year to start thinking about researching schools and universities. In the last couple of weeks (well since the Inauguration) there has been a great deal of concern about pursuing an education in the US. It’s time to try and take an objective look at the realities of attending school in the US.

First off it is important to note one major factor – China is not among the list of countries under the current immigration ban. Barring any disastrous White House policies, the main focus is on Middle Eastern countries and illegal immigrants currently in the US. This is why it is important that both now and in the future you follow the US Embassy guidelines when applying for any type of visa to the US. AVOID any agent offering services. The US Embassy has very clear instructions in Chinese.

Second, it is important to note the financial contribution international students make to the US economy. According to Opendoors, a research profile conducted by the Institute of International Education, there were approximately 1,043,839 international students attending educational programs in the US in 2016. Those students, in one way or another, contributed $35.8 billion (yes billion) to the economy. Of the 35.8 billion, 67% came from personal or family living expenses, 17% from tuition, 7% from funding from other governments, and 7% from current employment. This $35.8 billion does not include contributions made by students and families attending boarding or day schools. So, in fact, the amount of money that international students bring to the US is higher. Thus, it would have a disastrous effect if the US closed its doors to international students. One could also argue that Chinese students, which sends the most amount of students to the US, with a total of 328,547 students, adds an impressive financial contribution if we factor in boarding and day students along with associated costs such as living expenses, buying houses and cars, travel to and from the US as well as travel within the States while residing in the US. No matter how one looks at it, the financial impact is one the US cannot afford to change.

Third is the social impact on schools, communities and the diversity of cultures international students bring to campuses. Cross-cultural awareness is important, or at least should be important, to a world that is becoming increasingly smaller and more integrated. So while it may seem there is currently a loud voice of Nationalism in the US, schools and universities are not a part of that voice. In fact, almost immediately after the announcement from the White House about the ban, many schools issued a message to the media, counselors around the world, and students, that they do not share the administration’s perspective. Further, many schools have also issued “safe haven” statuses to students from the affected countries.

If students and families are still concerned about the future of education in the US and are thinking about alternative countries, this too poses risks. As an example, students may be considering Canada, the UK, or other destinations for educational opportunities. However, the increase in potential applicants will only make acceptance that much more selective. Further, the US is not the only country currently impacted by Nationalistic sentiment. It is important to remember that a countries educational system is primarily for students from those countries, no matter what country we are talking about. Education in any country is a privilege for any student, but certainly more so for students who are not natives to that country.

So what should students and families do? Well, consider first that the US still is, and should be, a destination for education. More importantly, keep up with the news and make sure they understand what is being said. Next, research widely, not just focusing on the US. Keeping an open mind will help families make good decisions about opportunities. Not only be open minded, but remain flexible when making choices should things go strangely awry.

Now, get to researching!

Applying to schools is much more than test scores, grades, and research. It also entails some further actions that may or may not make sense. But there are subtle actions a student can make that may prove the difference in the final run to admission.

For many students with whom I work, they innately feel that by just being a good student and doing well on standardized tests will gain them admission. While that is mostly true, and certainly true-ish for large universities, going the next length can help.

As we enter the important season of Early Admissions, it is important to note that this is a big choice and one that needs careful thought. First, and foremost, is Early Decision. It’s important because if accepted the student will go to that school. From a schools point of view, this can be a lock on building their next class. So, in some ways, making the decision to apply early is a great first step. It shows commitment. One thing that is important is not to use early admission as a strategy if, in the case of Early Action, you have no real intent to attend. Yes, it is nice to have sealed up a school, but by applying in the first place, a student is showing some basic level of intent to attend that school.

Other things that are important include contacting the school admissions office to let them know that you are applying. Further asking for contacts of current students who attend that school or professors in an area in which you have interest. Going that extra length of demonstrated interest helps the school understand your passion for the school. It shows that you are in the process of trying to understand whether or not you “fit” their school and their community, which is ultimately what the school wants to know. Will you fit their community and do you have the personality to integrate into their community? This comes above and beyond being a qualified student from an academic level.

When applying to boarding school, while they do not have early admission programs like their older brethren, it is still important to take certain actions. Visiting schools is an important factor, but remember that the visit goes both ways – you are looking at the school and the school is watching you. If you don’t show up to a scheduled appointment, or don’t attend a function, it may have a negative impact. As an example, one school in particular has Open House events that include visiting classes, meeting teachers and students, among other activities. But students cannot have an interview during an open house. If you have reached out to visit on one of those days and decide not to come, a school could come to the conclusion that you are not that interested in the school.

Image, in both cases is an important factor. How you present yourself, the questions you ask, and your overall commitment to the school, in this admission climate are imperative. Go that extra length, but don’t overdo it. Writing emails every day, hounding the admission representative, and not acting in at least a semi-professional way may have negative impacts on your application. Also, be aware that you are not the only student applying to the school. I often have students say “I emailed the school about X (whatever that may be) and they have not replied yet.” ”When did you send the email?” I ask. “Last night.” In the world of instantaneous communication realize that people, and not just admission people have other things to do. Give them time and space. If there has not been a reply in a week, send a gentle reminder.

Actions sometimes speak loudly, be positive, be inquisitive, and focus. When a student wants to target a school, appropriately target. Show your interest. Don’t be afraid to reach out to schools or visit schools. Visit schools when they come to your school, even if you have been in a session before or visited the campus. It shows good etiquette, it’s responsible, and it may prove enormously worthwhile.

So while you are contemplating the final words of your essays, go the extra length and drop that admission representative an email. Ask good questions that can’t be found on the website, make sure your language is appropriate and keep it short and sweet.

Oh, by the way, if you are applying early – get going! Applications are due soon!

Photo: kaptest.com

Saint Ignatius’ College, Riverview is a boy’s day and full-time boarding school based in Sydney, Australia. Riverview is holding an information session at the Four Seasons Hotel on Tuesday 13 October, from 2-4pm.

A Catholic school, in the Jesuit tradition, Riverview educates boys through Years 5-12. On Tuesday, the Rector Fr Ross Jones SJ, the Principal Dr Paul Hine and the Director of Boarding Mr Guy Masters will be speak about boarding and enrollment at Riverview.

Riverview was founded in 1880 by an Irish Jesuit, Fr Joseph Dalton SJ. The Jesuits are a Catholic religious order, approved by Pope Paul III in 1540. The tradition of Jesuit education began in Messina in Sicily in 1548, and rapidly spread across the world. Today Jesuits educate approximately 2.5 million students in 80 countries.

To find out about the tradition and ethos at Riverview, and to attend the information session, contact Christine Zimbulis at cszimbulis@riverview.nsw.edu.au or on +61 2 9882 8595

Photos: Courtesy of Riverview

Middle of March signifies a time when hopeful parents and students receive notifications of their acceptance to boarding school. Acceptance in hand, parents and students can start finalizing their enrollment decisions and then prepare for boarding school life. At this point, parents and students should be certain that boarding school is the right choice; after all, before submitting any application, they should have done thorough research and held an honest discussion to reach this major life decision.

In seriously evaluating boarding school as an option, parents and child will have visited prospective schools and gained a clear understanding of the school and boarding house values. A great deal of time would have been spent discussing all aspects of boarding school life: from the new environment to understanding what it offers and what it doesn’t offer, to how different it would be from living at home and the inevitable challenges that will be faced but also ways to overcome them. This, is an ideal situation.

Sometimes, the decision to attend boarding school isn’t mutual. I’ve come across situations where parents have suggested boarding school but the child, fearful of hurting their feelings, will not admit they don’t want to attend boarding school. Having been a boarder myself, I have personally witnessed that students who want to attend boarding school are the ones who fare better. Those who felt forced to attend boarding school seemed to struggle with constant homesickness or found small problems difficult to manage. They were anxious, sometimes depressed to the point of not eating. They kept to themselves, slept a lot or constantly called home. They missed out on countless opportunities to meet new friends and enjoy new activities.

Truthfully, not every child is suited for boarding school. It requires careful consideration. For many parents and children, the idea of boarding school is intriguing: independence, access to better facilities, opportunity to strengthen social skills, a stronger college preparatory curriculum among plenty of other reasons. However, frequently neither party are prepared for the difficulties that will be faced. Boarding school provides many exciting and wonderful experiences, but it’s not always smooth sailing.

With this said, here are several questions parents can start asking themselves as they consider whether or not their child is ready for boarding school.

1. Does my child make friends easily? Residential life at boarding school tends to be quite social. With so many dorm mates around, it’s no surprise. Some might even complain that residential life is too social, with less room for privacy and personal space than living at home. Children who adjust better to a new school and residential life seem to be those who are apt at making new friends, understand that having friends is important and are at ease surrounded by people all the time. Rather than wait for others to befriend them, they are unafraid to approach their peers and strike up a conversation.

2. Is my child content socializing with people from different cultures and backgrounds? Many boarding schools will have students who come from all over the world. Sometimes children prefer to socialize with those who they feel most comfortable with — that is, those who they feel more in common with. However this can limit their opportunity to challenge themselves and learn something different.  Children who take interest in others and are more willing to learn about and from them are more likely to flourish at boarding school.

3. Is my child an effective communicator? At boarding school your child will have to communicate with friends and faculty, as well as yourself from a distance. It is necessary for thriving in classrooms where active discussion is encouraged. It is necessary for residential life where your child will live in a close-knit community. If your child has a habit of expressing personal feelings and emotions and is unafraid of communicating thoughts and ideas openly, it will help tremendously at boarding school. Boarders who are less willing to open oneself to others tend to be those who feel a little more out of place in the dorm.

4. Is my child willing to learn to take care of himself or herself? No one is expecting your child to be able to immediately take care of himself or herself at boarding school, but at least he or she must be willing to learn and to deal with daily chores such as keeping the room clean, laundry, staying healthy, maintaining personal hygiene and sufficient rest, as well as shopping for daily necessities, and managing personal expenses and budget. Being able to stay organized such as staying on top of academic work and extra-curricular activities is a necessary skill as well.

5. Is my child resilient? Life at boarding school can be challenging; it can be stressful. In between a lack of personal space, being far away from home, friendship management, time management and having to take care of oneself, there is plenty of room for making mistakes and feeling overwhelmed and bogged down by daily life. Children who are able to bounce back and remain positive tend to be those who are likelier to thrive at boarding school. Children who are resilient have shown to be more willing to try new activities and to be able to learn from mistakes made along the way.

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This post first appeared in Prep Beijing on March 11, 2014.

Alicia Lui is a co-founder at Prep Beijing!, a coaching company focusing on core soft skills such as effective communication, social and emotional skills, etiquette, critical thinking and leadership skills. Prior to founding Prep Beijing! She has worked in management consulting and in banking. She holds and MBA from INSEAD and Bachelor’s from University of Chicago

Photo courtesy of wikimedia commons.