You’ve got kids, you run the house, and you may also have a day job on top of all that. Plus, there’s play dates, school conferences, and you’ve got to make time for your friends too, so in the midst of such full schedules, when is there time to date the person you chose to start a family with? After all, don’t you see each other every night and share a bathroom? How much closer can we get than that?

But chances are, you probably know that being in the same room as your spouse can hardly mean quality time for your relationship. It takes a little more effort on both your parts, to keep cultivating your connection to each other to ensure you stay on the same page. That’s where the whole idea of Date Night with your spouse comes in.

Let me beat you to the punch before you protest by countering your point that as expats living overseas in a foreign city, we hardly have the luxury of in-laws, family, or neighbors as babysitters. It can even be challenging to find a trusted babysitter if you don’t have a regular ayi.

Here are a few solutions to help with that:

1. Organise a sleepover for the kids at their friends’ houses
2. Do a swap with family friends to see if they’ll watch your kids for one night, and you watch theirs in return!
3. Have your date during the day instead (Surprise them at work and bring them out for a walk outside on a beautiful afternoon)
4. As a final resort, you can also put together a simple date night at home after the kids are at school or asleep (just be sure you’re doing more than Netflix and chill, actually spend time talking or being with each other!)

Erin C, who has been married for a decade and has three daughters, squeezes time for a date with her husband Giuseppe at least once a month, which is “essential for sanity, marriage, and seeing the city from a different angle, literally” She elaborates, “I had no idea how different touring the Forbidden City would be without a stroller!”

She doesn’t put too much emphasis on planning these date nights, oftentimes just winging it without a reservation or advance notice. But she does stress that “It’s important both parents feel happy to be out that night. That’s why sometimes things can’t be planned in advance, and if there is a new baby involved, both need to be ready to [step away without being]stressed. But it’s also important for one partner to kind of nudge the other partner out the door sometimes, even just for a date walk (15 minutes) and then longer as you can.”

Their dates help Erin feel “Refreshed. Rekindled. Reconnected as something other than parents, which is ridiculously important.”

Some of Erin’s previous successful date nights include bowling at 东环保龄球馆 (Dōng huán bǎolíngqiú guǎn) and hanging out at their neighborhood jazz club. Whatever you choose to do, be present, keep devices to a minimum and try not to discuss any family logistical matters like groceries, or budgeting, or anything on your to-do lists.

Want to put the romance back in your relationship? We’ve put together some other non-dining Date Night Ideas –

Couples Spa 

There are so many spa places that offer a couples room, usually with advance booking. A personal recommendation if you’ve got the budget for it would be the Dragonfly at Kerry Center. You can do facials, body massages, and more! Or you can opt for a pair of masseuses to come to your place if you prefer to keep things intimate by using this home spa app.

Movies

Yes, there are international films in English (albeit with Chinese subtitles) at many of the bigger cinema chains. You can look up the nearest cinema to you and the films that are playing through the following steps on WeChat. The key here is to recognize the two words circled in the last photo 英语 which means the film is in English! Oh, and just for tonight, at Baby Boom Bar, they’re showing a triple feature of you guessed it, horror films.

Walking Tours

There’s no better way to get to know the city you live in than to walk around it and explore its nooks and crannies. Companies such as Beijing Postcards, Beijing By Foot, Our Beijing, The Hutong and many others regularly conduct walking tours of various historical sights in the capital. With Halloween coming up, you might even consider a Haunted Walking Tour with Bizarre Beijing, if you dare.

Arcades 

Remember Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja? Play them in person at VS Sports Park with their virtual reality games that pit you against your spouse, or get you to team up to work cooperatively. Check out editor Mina Yan’s blog and video of the place here.

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Images: Unsplash, Pexels, Vivienne Tseng-Rush

I’d say it’s now autumn in Beijing, but we all know that Beijing’s autumn lasts about five minutes! There’s no need to live in denial any longer: it’s officially almost winter. That means all the fun family jaunts to parks and walks down the street in shorts and vests enjoying the glorious sun have to be put on hold until further notice, aka, April-May next year! However, there is still fun to be had and indoor spaces to be enjoyed.

If you’re like me, then bowling holds a weirdly special place in your heart. For me, winter is only bearable for the fact that I finally get to spend as much time as possible at my favorite bowling spot, seeing just how many strikes I can get. They are never that many, but the fun is in the trying. Bowling alleys can also be a great place to host kids’ birthday parties, a fun change from your average dinner at one of many Beijing kid-friendly restaurants.

Sounds like a good idea, but where do you find a good Bowling place? Like most things here, if you don’t speak or read Chinese, potentially fun Bowling alleys are added to the long list of Beijing’s best-kept secrets. Never fear. We have found some of the best places to indulge your bowling cravings in Beijing!

East Gate Bowling (East Gate Plaza) – 东环保龄球馆(东环广场店)

If you are in or around the Dongcheng area, then this particular spot is for you. About a five minute walk from Dongzhimen station, it comes complete with ten lanes. You have the option of paying for time or for games, with an hour setting you back around RMB 240. And if you don’t have your own bowling shoes, then you can rent a pair at RMB 5. Feel free to bring your own refreshments. Not a bad deal! Note that as one of Beijing’s most popular bowling spots, it gets pretty busy at the weekend.

Daily 8.30am-10pm. B1, East Gate Plaza, 29 Dongzhong Jie, Dongcheng District
东城区东中街29号东环广场B1层

Phone:  010-6418 1808

Ditan Bowling Alley – 保龄球馆(地坛店)

The name itself sounds pretty non-descript but this is a decent bowling alley. Boasting 15 bowling lanes, it’s big enough to host a large group, and since it is located just next to Ditan Park (also known as the Temple of the Earth), you can combine the two for a fun day out while there is still some heat left in the days. Prices start from RMB 35 for a set or RMB 200 per lane (RMB 260 per lane on weekends and public holidays). Shoes available to rent for RMB 5.

Daily 8am-10.30pm. Inside Ditan Gymnasium, 116 Andingmen Waidajie, Dongcheng District
东城区安定门外大街116号地坛体育馆内

Phone:  010-6426 5116

VR+ Pool, Archery and  Archery Bowling (Fengke Wanda Store) – VR+乐园 台球射箭保龄球(丰科万达店)

This is a far smaller venue with just a handful of lanes but it bursting with fun potential. This spot also offers archery, pool, and VR gaming options, so you can make a whole day of it (some of the games might be better suited to older kids). If crowds aren’t your thing but you and the kids still want to have fun, then this might be the spot for you. Bowling will set you back around RMB 100 for two sets.

Daily 10am-10pm. Inside Play 1 Family Entertainment Center, 3/F, Wanda Plaza, 6 Kefeng Lu, Fengtai District
丰台区科丰路6号万达广场3层大玩家PLAY1家庭娱乐中心内

Phone: 132 6901 5765

Wangjing Bowling – 望京保龄球俱乐部

This bowling alley may be located in an Old Age Activity Center but don’t think that they won’t let you in unelss you’re a senior citizen — it’s very popular with a younger crowd, too. The alley has eight lanes and well-maintained facilities. Prices start from RMB 25 per game or RMB 200 per hour (going up to RMB 280 at weekends and peak times). A good option for those in the Shunyi and Laiguangying areas.

Daily 9am-11pm. 2/F, Beijing Old Age Activity Center, corner of Wangjing Beilu and Lize Zhong Erlu, Chaoyang District
朝阳区望京北路与利泽中二路交叉口北京市老年活动中心2F

Phone: 010-5601 3098

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Photos: Unsplash, Dianping

The act of trying to knock over a series of pins by rolling a heavy round object towards them may not be new, but this great activity is as challenging and engaging today as it was in the past. Archaeologists have evidence of bowling-type games from as long as five thousand years ago. This makes bowling one of the oldest sports on record, dating all the way back to the civilization of the ancient Egyptians. So when you pull on those bowling shoes and head to the lane to try and hit a few strikes, you are effectively participating in a ritual that has amused humans since the year 3200 BC.

Cosmic Bowling’s 20-lane ally at Metropark Lido Hotel is your typical western bowling alley. One of the better bowling ally’s in Beijing, all of the lanes actually work and the balls are in pretty good condition, with a good range of weights available. The staff are helpful, especially in setting up the automatic scoring screens so they’re in English. For kids there are bowling ramps, so they can just roll the ball down and therefore have a chance of scoring. There are no bumper lanes or gutter guards however. Shoe rental is available, and the shoes are in pretty good condition. For younger kids, small sizes are not available, so make sure they wear suitable shoes.

Cosmic Bowling is pretty good value for a couple hours of entertainment. Great fun if there’s a group of you, hiring a couple of lanes. It also makes a good venue for a kid’s Birthday party. If you want to go without the kids, after 10pm the price gets cheaper. Although expect to be humiliated by the local professionals, with their personalized bowling balls and shoes. Beverages and snacks are available, but the choices are a bit limited. Metropark Lido Hotel offers a wide selection of restaurants. Choose from Texan Bar & Grill, Pure Lotus Vegetarian, Taj Pavilion Indian, Mugen Japanese, and Phrik Thai Restaurant. If you want to venture out from the hotel complex, just a short walk away and you’ll find Eudora Station, Element Fresh and plenty more dining options in this part of Lido.

Cosmic Bowling 北京沙明建保龄球俱乐部
Daily 9am-2am
RMB 150/hour before 6pm, RMB 200/hour
3/F, Lido Hotel, 6 Jiangtai Lu, Chaoyang District (6437 6688 ext 3801) 朝阳区将台路6号丽都饭店三层

beijingkids Shunyi Correspondent Sally Wilson moved to Beijing in 2010 from the UK with her husband and son. Her daughter was born here in 2011 and both her kids keep her happily busy. In her spare time, Sally loves to stroll through Beijing’s hutongs and parks. She is a (most of the time) keen runner and loves reading: books, magazines, news, and celeb websites – anything really. Sally is also a bit of a foodie and loves trying out new restaurants.

Photos: Dwayne Madden (Flickr), courtesy of Metropark Lido Hotel