I have no doubt that what occupies the mind of both new and seasoned parents is our child’s development. We want to be able to predict our child’s behavior and character with expert precision, but this, of course, is only a daydream. Instead, as I’ve come to realize through observation and of course extensive new-mom research, our kids will truly surprise us.

We should never underestimate our kids, and there are so many factors that go into behavior and learning that we should also never underestimate the positive impact we can have when we understand their neurological development and how we can better guide them towards positive developmental outcomes.

Use the following stages of neurological development to better support your child and understand the powerful role you have as a parent when it comes to your babies’ brain development.

Sensorimotor Stage

Between birth and 2 years old, a child is getting used to experiencing the world around them through their senses. Using objects and their sensations, a child will begin to understand and master each environment they interact with. It’s all trial and error for a while, and when they reach the age of 1 a child will learn object permanence (understanding that an object continues to exist outside the field of vision).

Babies are also developing socially and emotionally and will look to their parent for support. According to Sarah Lytle, Ph.D., from the Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences at the University of Washington in Seattle, this is called social referencing or social cognition; for example, when a child engages with someone they don’t know they usually look to the parent to gauge how to respond. Show them how to respond through your own interaction to build confidence and independence.

A child will usually utter their first word around the six-month mark. To help your child develop their language skills use your gaze, which they will follow when introducing them to a new word. Place emphasis on words with your eyes by moving them slowly. And lay off the baby talk (although we are encouraged to use a baby tone) and use words correctly, in full and in complete, grammatically correct sentences (which so happened to be an “I told you so” triumph in my household.)

Pre-operational Stage

Here is where a child’s language skills go up a few notches. Between the age of 2 and 7, a child will develop numerical understanding and learn the difference between past and future. During this stage, our kids will have a handle on concrete situations; however, more abstract concepts will take more time to grasp.

In an earlier post about toddlers, The Terrible Twos, I wrote about different phrases we can use to help manage and support a toddler, and it’s during this stage that these will become powerful tools. From the age of 2, a child will find it difficult to think outside of their own wants and needs. For now, ‘self’ can be an overriding factor when it comes to sharing or caring about others.

Parents can work at developing and building a child’s level of empathy by using the “Sally-Ann test” and reading stories where they will need to put themselves in a character’s shoes.

The last two stages of neurological development are the Concrete Stage and the Formal Operations Stage. Between the ages of 6 to 12, the former enters a child into the age of reason, where they grasp abstract concepts and empathy. However, a child at this stage still requires further development in regard to systematic reasoning. Lytle suggests that parents should be sensitive to a child’s emotional welfare during this stage, as marital spats or a parent who might be suffering from stress or depression could negatively impact their psychological development.

The latter concerns a child’s development from 12 throughout their teenage years. This is where you will see greater capacities for hypothetical thinking, complex reasoning, and a greater understanding of moral issues. However, our work is not done: teenagers often evaluate situations using their amygdala (emotional center) of their brains and our prefrontal cortex is actually not fully developed until we are around the age of 25. Give children during this stage the opportunity to express themselves, participate in active problem solving, and make judgment calls.

Who knew learning a little neuroscience could make a real difference to parenthood? Raising children is never easy but educating ourselves is half the battle.

Photos: Pixabay

The bond between parent and baby during the early months is often at the forefront of moms’ and dads’ minds. Before your baby is even born, parents-to-be are encouraged to start the baby bonding process. We are told to talk to baby in the womb, play classical music to soothe, massage our growing midsections with therapeutic oils, sing to and woo our developing little ones.

These bonding tips only increase when baby arrives and the next phase of bonding must commence. Plenty of skin-to-skin contact, baby massage, co-sleeping, bath-time routines, storytelling – the list goes on. Often the way we are encouraged to bond with our babies runs counter to the advice parents are given to prioritize healthy living. Exercise and diet regimes galore are pushed on every expecting mother, but how to combine this with bonding with your newborn is a growing challenge. Enter baby-friendly yoga classes.

Mother of two Rose Scott has initiated a new opportunity for parents to bond with their baby using movement and exercise. Rose describes herself as a positive and energetic yoga instructor, certified with Yoga Alliance 200RYT. A Beijinger for the past three and a half years, with a son of four and a one-year-old daughter, Scott’s premise for her intimate Mommy and Me yoga classes is to promote bonding between parent and child through physical activity, while encouraging joy and health in movement.

Lots of wonderful mommies in the city have been more than delighted with Rose’s classes, after giving them a go with their babies and little tots. Mom of 11-month-old baby boy Alex, Cecilia says that the Mommy and Me Yoga sessions are the highlights of her Tuesday mornings, “Every Tuesday morning is the most enjoyable time for me and my baby!” The classes, which are open to moms with children of all ages, are the perfect way for moms to enjoy movement with their kids, as well as a host of other benefits, “We can make new friends here, meet mommies from all over the world, share our stories – the little ones can also play with each other, it’s just perfect for full-time mommies!” added Cecilia.

Mom of two-year-old daughter Valerie, Janine also can’t stop singing the praises of the Mommy and Me Yoga sessions, “My daughter Valerie always looks forward to joining the yoga classes – she even practices the yoga exercises at home before we join.” There seems to be a buzz in the air over the chance to join these wellness-focused and interactive yoga sessions. Why not reap the benefits of a decision that will provide continued bonding time between mom and baby and add an element of physical activity to your week?

Downward Dog yourself into bonding time happiness and Child Pose into self-care and wellness for your child. Give Mommy and Me Yoga class a go. RMB 60 per class. Ivy Bilingual School, Sanyuanqiao. Every Tuesday. 9:45am – 10:30am. WeChat: rosier-scott.

Photos: courtesy of Rose Scott

There’s only so much time in the day for the whole family to sit down together and enjoy a wholesome, home-cooked meal. Unfortunately for us, this means we’ll likely often be struck with some of those dreaded hunger pangs as we go about our jam-packed everyday lives. Enter snacking. Though it’s a heavily debated topic, let’s face it: snacking will oftentimes be our savior in the midst of a long day. But the real question remains: is this snacking really good for us? And for that matter, is it really good for the children?

To be fair, there is a simple reason for why this topic is so controversial. “Snacking” itself does not actually possess a concrete scientific definition. Likewise, an answer as to whether this snacking is really beneficial (or detrimental) to a child’s health remains just as ambiguous. And because of this, the best we can do is to try and better understand it—and its implications—and take the time to analyze it from a few different perspectives.

Statistically, children today are snacking more than ever before. According to Dr. Barry Popkin, a professor of nutritional health at the University of North Carolina, children aged between 2 and 8 around the world, on average, currently consume anywhere from three to seven snacks (which he designates as “[any]food consumed superfluously between the day’s primary meals”) every day. Compare that to not that long ago; the mean number of snacks consumed, per day, by children of the same demographic in 1970 was a mere one to two.

So what does this mean, exactly? Are children today becoming intoxicated by the addictive nature of calorie-laden snack foods? Of high concentrations of sodium, sugar, and dietary fats? Well, not exactly. Or, rather, it depends. And this is exactly where the multiple perspectives angle comes in.

Children are growing, and this in itself means that they have substantially higher energy needs than adults. Simply put, they burn a lot of calories every day just being them. And to support growth in early years, it is beneficial for them to consume at least as many calories as they expend. The problem is that, oftentimes, even with three meals a day, it can be difficult to satisfy those caloric requirements, especially for children who are active in their day-to-day lives (think after-school soccer or basketball or tennis practices multiple days a week). This is where snacking is especially helpful—providing some growth-stimulating fuel throughout a child’s daily schedule.

But again, multiple perspectives. Snacking carries with it a barrage of caveats that must be addressed. Despite the advantages that come with implementing snacks into your child’s diet, it must be done with care and strategy. This means paying close attention to not only the content of the snacks themselves, but also the ways in which they are being consumed. After all, packing pre-portioned organic nut butter with fresh celery sticks for your child’s morning recess is really not the same thing as allowing him or her to pop open a bag of deep-fried potato chips and plop down in front of the television.

In summary, the takeaway should be as follows. First, monitor (if possible) and consider the quality of the foods your child is used to snacking on. If you find that their choices tend to lean towards the unhealthy, remember that small changes can really go a long way. For instance, 100 grams of watermelon yields a respectable volume of fruit, and boasts a mere 30 calories, while 100 grams of, say, M&M’s barely give you a measly handful, and pack on a whopping 480 calories.

Second, consider constructing your own approach to snacking which you’d like to see your child adopt. If a kid is left to their own devices, it wouldn’t be surprising that they’d give in to their cravings and pick the cupcake over the apple. But few children would refuse the apple if it were given to them to begin with. Not to mention, introducing structure into the way your child snacks can provide a sense of comfort—for both you and them. If you know that your child tends to get hungry coming home in the afternoon, have some healthy snack options ready. You will be comforted to know what’s going into their bellies, and they, in turn, will know to expect a wholesome treat after a long day at school. Over time, a structure like this can adapt a child’s mindset—building, early on, a healthy and balanced relationship with food.

Photos: alarmy.com, longroom.com.uk, The Food Network

China State Council’s Legislative Affairs Office released a new draft regulation on adoption on June 30, allowing children rescued from abduction to be adopted. The regulation is the first that would allow these children to be adopted by Chinese citizens in the event that their biological parents are not found within a year.

A draft regulation is released before a final decision is made after considering public opinion and response.

The same regulation states that the police are responsible for locating the abducted children’s biological parents or family. If relatives are not located within three months of being reported, the abandoned children become eligible for adoption.

The draft regulation, compared with its current counterpart, also simplifies the adoption procedure by removing some of the required paperwork and certificates.

Photo: Flickr

In an article on parenting.com, parents were asked to share some of their creative and fun ways on disciplining children in the post-spanking era. If the yelling, sit downs, and timeouts are not working any more then get to see how some parents just used uncommon tactics to get the message across that there are behaviors, which will not be accepted. Picked here are some of the funnier methods.

Take It Away
So if you have a child(ren) who don’t make their beds then follow the advice of one parent. She hid the beddings and their child had to be sleep in a sleeping bag until the daughter asked for the beddings back. The end result is that the daughter makes her own bed without fuss everyday.

Self-Inflicted Physical Punishments
So this a getting to be a little bit of a military drill sergeant but the nicer version anyway. This form of discipline needs not be overused as this requires kids to do a body weight exercise that will not hurt them but will make them feel uncomfortable. One parent has their child do 10 push-ups for misbehaving. Result you get a fit child but also pushups are uncomfortable which will ingrain itself in the child memory. 

Turning Fights into Laughs
Sibling rivalry is not something new but the techniques used to keep the peace are such winners to warm the harden of hearts when angry, first up hugging. It’s very difficult to be mad at someone when they are so close to them and hugging. Find out the others right here.

Photo: serenejournal (Flickr)

Stranger danger was one campaign that created awareness to children about their own safety and talking to strangers. Now, the latest campaign that started in Banglore, India has gone viral due to social media that has parents and guardian being asked to create a password with their child(ren) to protect them from strangers pretending to be family.

This started when a principal of a school got in touch with the parents and guardians by sending out a letter with a simple anacedote of a girl, who’s life might have been saved after she asked a stranger for the password when he did not give it, she used that to escape. The child and mother has agreed on a password if there ever was a time the mother had to send someone to pick her up from school.

The dominoes effect happens to be that we all spread the word, teach other people in our lives from the drivers to the ayis about creating a password with their child, about how to create it and what that can do. Check www.childpassword.com tips on how to create one but here is a simple steps from the site.

You can help prevent your child from being abducted by simply doing the following:

1. Create a special password that is shared by you and your child and
other trusted people. Under no circumstances should this be shared
with anyone else.
2. Make sure your child memorises it.
3. If a stranger approaches your child and tries to convince him or her
to come with them, your child should demand the password.
4. If the stranger doesn’t know the password, your child should refuse
to go with the stranger and immediately alert a nearby teacher,
parent or policeman.

Photo from Guangzhou news

This study adds to the recommendations by the American Academy of Pediatrics and other groups for exclusive breastfeeding up to six months followed mixing solid and breastfeeding for at least one year.

 

Forty years ago, the personalities of 2,400 elementary school children were recorded. Today, the personalities of over a hundred of these current adults were examined to be compared to their previous selves. The study showed that they remained “recognizably the same person.”

 Picture by vlorush of Flickr.