I did a crazy thing over the weekend. I signed my family up for a six-mile hike out in the wilderness of Huairou District following the White River between the Yunmeng Mountains.

My family has never walked around in any Beijing park for longer than a couple hours, and certainly not farther than a total distance of maybe two miles. The last time I asked my 6-year-old to walk the dog with me, he gave up before we had even left my residential compound. As for my husband, he loves the idea of hiking…in theory. On the bus back into the city post-hike, when I asked him if he would do it again, he replied, “I enjoyed it, but I might have enjoyed it just as much if I was lying in bed dreaming about hiking.”

Ever since we arrived in Beijing two years ago, I had set my mind on joining at least one Beijing Hikers’ hike, and had signed up several times before, but had always backed out due to complaints of “the air looks bad” or “I’m still stuffed from eating too much last night.” But nobody was getting out of it this time!

So on Saturday morning, despite the gray skies I woke up to at 6am, I wasn’t backing down. If the hikers had determined the weather to be safe for hiking, then by Merlin’s beard I was going! My resolve did waver a little as our tour bus drove right into heavy rain as we passed through Shunyi and my husband turned to me and said, “Perfect hiking weather.” Luckily, the rain tapered off as we entered the mountains, but the hikers handed out ponchos anyway.

One of the reasons that my family had been hesitant to go on such hikes was the driving time. My husband’s rationale is that it’s completely ridiculous to spend more time driving to your destination than actually being at your destination. I was grateful that the two-hour drive was exactly as the hikers had estimated, with a well-placed toilet break in the middle. Another small victory: My visit to the public toilet at the start of the hike didn’t make me dry-heave as most public toilets here usually do.

Lesson One: Know Your Destination

Before we set off on the hike, the guides showed us a map and briefed us on the route. This really helped to prepare us mentally, and gave us something to look forward to when we got tired. For this hike in particular, my husband had spotted a little area labelled “beach” on the map and made a note of asking our kid to keep an eye out for it because our son loves to play with sand.

Lesson Two: Have a Variety of Snacks on Standby (Especially a Sweet Drink)

For the hike we had packed ham and cheese sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, crackers, chips, gummy worms, coconut water, and regular water. My kid sampled and consumed 80% of each item. When one thing stopped providing motivation for him to put one foot in front of the other, we would have to resort to another treat to keep him moving. The coconut water was especially delicious while hiking on a warm summer day, if I do say so myself!

Lesson Three: Have a Backup Plan

When my son had his first meltdown and burst into tears, I was at a loss. He is way too big for us to carry, there were no roads for a vehicle to pick us up, and most of all, I didn’t want to turn back! The guide, my husband, and I all tried cajoling him, but his tears wouldn’t stop until a ham and cheese sandwich was offered. That was when we learned to dangle the carrot (almost literally) to lure him ahead. If your child is small enough, a child carrier backpack might be a good backup option. Otherwise, make sure you have some tricks up your sleeve like the ones in the next lesson!

Lesson Four: Be Ready To Go Slow and Do Some Handholding

After the first meltdown, my son continued to have mini meltdowns throughout the hike. The guide cleverly asked him to look out for the red ribbons that the Beijing Hikers use to mark the trail, and allowed him to collect them for her. This tactic definitely helped keep him moving. We stumbled upon another strategy when he asked to hold my hand at one point. Inwardly I grimaced and groaned at the thought of moving at a snail’s pace, but I soon discovered that as long as I held his hand, he kept trudging on without a word of complaint. It was slow moving for sure, but it actually turned out to be a beautiful thing.

Lesson Five: Kids Are Better at Climbing Than Walking

For the first five miles of the hike we were walking on mostly level terrain out in the open along the river. However, the last mile was almost completely vertical. While the kid had been in tears and moving like sludge for most of the walking part, he transformed into a mountain goat when it came to the vertical climb. He actually led the group alongside the leader, leaving me and my husband in the dust! I couldn’t even see him through the trees, and could only hear his voice carried by the wind. We theorized that a) it was way more interesting to most kids to use their limbs to climb terrain and b) that their little bodies are way lighter and more suited to scrambling uphill than our old, tired bodies. I have verified this with several other parents and found it to be true for plenty of kids, so take this into consideration when choosing a hike in the future.

I am immensely proud that my child pushed himself all the way to finish the hike, and am also quite proud that the adults, including myself, were patient and giving enough to let him help himself. This is how he may hopefully develop true grit.

KEEP READING: Calling All Bored Kids, You Might Flip Out Over This Extended Summer Camp!

Images: Vivienne Tseng-Rush

Without a doubt, providing an unflappable support system should be any parent’s top priority during their child’s early years. However, can the amount of attention a parent devotes to their child/ren be excessive at best and, at worst, lower their kids’ self-esteem?

Helicopter parenting is a popular term used to describe parents who spend much of their time focused on the safety and success of their kids, and who go to extreme lengths in order to make sure their child succeeds, often by pressuring others – such as teachers and administrators – or even doing their children’s work for them.

But, how can something as well-intentioned as dedicating your time and energy to supporting your kids be considered a bad thing? The answer is fairly simple: You lower their self-confidence. All parents want what’s best for their child, however, they also need to understand that there are some things which kids must achieve on their own in order to properly develop. By preventing your child from thinking and working things out, you also prevent them from learning how to properly behave.

This is an especially relevant topic for Beijing teens, most of whom often rely on their parents for things such as writing university applications, resumes, and more. Likewise, many students even send their parents into battle with teachers over school grades – something they should clearly do themselves. A parent’s unwillingness to let their children act for themselves has created a generation of teens who rely on other people for jobs they should otherwise do on their own.

And such a mindset today could have an outsized impact on the child’s ability to thrive in the future. For instance, if you live a life free from responsibility, you’ll struggle to cultivate self-respect and appreciation for a job well done. Of course, people should be able to count on their families for help, however, when they actively avoid accomplishing tasks only to have someone else swoop in and save the day, it’s disrespectful towards the person who’s helping, and prevents the other from reaching their full potential. While parents and teens can spend long hours arguing about who is to blame for the newer generation’s irresponsibility and immaturity, more often than not, both parties are at fault. While it is true that parents often attempt to hide their “helicoptering” from their kids, it’s inevitable that at a certain age they’ll begin noticing and responding to it. Teens must learn to confront this issue, instead of reveling in it, which in the end is another small part that makes up the long process of growing up.

Becoming independent from your parents is an integral part of maturity, but how can teens properly grow up when they are kept – and choose to keep themselves – sheltered from learning and experiencing new things, in favor of having their parents do the work for them?

Keep Reading: Inject My Child with Chicken Blood and Turn Her Into a Cow! The Low Down on The Competitive World of Chinese Parenting

Images: Unsplash

Ditch the sofa and Netflix for a night, in exchange for enjoying everyone’s favorite pastime while supporting charity! It’s a couples’ movie and food fest in aid of a local charity, Wings of Hope.

It’s the winter season, and date nights can seriously wither into obscurity in favor of a comfy onesie, a hunt for the next best mini TV series, and a bowl of microwave popcorn! But fortunately, you can be saved from the abyss that is mediocre evenings in front of the box, by a more fun and exciting viewing experience that pays – not you, but those in need.

Why not enjoy a couples’ movie night at the awesome bar and family restaurant, Fella’s. Come prepared (not in your onesie) with your date to share a two-course meal with drink. Couples can opt for either a chicken or vegetarian meal, and their choice of libation! The movie of choice is Game Night, starring Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams, whose game night hilariously transforms into a real-life mystery after one them is kidnapped in an apparent burglary. Sounds fun? Of course it will be!

This event is the first of its kind and if all goes well, could be a regular go-to for date night lovers needing an excuse to wrestle themselves away from anti-climatic and, let’s be honest, unexceptional move nights in. Proceeds will go toward supporting young children suffering from cancer. To register, scan the QR code below. Attendance will be capped at 30, and if you want to join you must sign up by January 21.

Movie Date Night at Fella’s, Jan 26
Adults. RMB 350. January 26. Fella’s Restaurant and Bar, 8 Laiguangying Dong Lu, Chaoyang District (info@fellasbeijing.cn) 来广营东路8号，北京朝阳区

It never occurred to me to look into the damage that can be caused by simply watching more television than one should or spending too much time using multiple devices. Television has and will most likely continue to be a pastime that transcends all or most generations. The nature of television continues to evolve and adapt to the times in which we live; becoming more interactive by the year and keeping us all up to date with information pertaining to every whim popular culture decides is relevant to our lives, keeping our children entertained and enthralled and of course providing an electronic oasis of escapism for whoever needs or wants it.

Growing up with a little brother with special needs who was obsessed with Scooby Doo is what first brought my attention to a book entitled, Remotely Controlled. My brother was not only obsessed with watching this and other similarly paced cartoons, but it was his behavior during and after these colorful episodes that made me conscious about the harm they could be doing. A lot of my brothers’ obsession with cartoons had every bit to do with the need they met to not only provide entertainment but also function as a source of repetition that a child on the spectrum so craves.

We all have come to learn, of course, that the digital age and its many partners in crime; smartphones, tablets, and laptops – have made addicts of us. If the somewhat well-rounded, educated individual can become addicted to screen time what could be the potential impact on children and the more vulnerable among this group: children with learning challenges. While reading Remotely Controlled, I was provided with succinct answers to why my little brother behaved in certain ways and why many cartoons are produced in such a way that can lead to both short- and long-term effects on a child’s behavior; their interaction with others, their relationship with time, tasks, and language.

The need for constant stimulation, instant gratification, and the inability to handle complex problems that do not have quick solutions are all contributing factors spurred on by too much time with the small screen.

My brother would hurriedly try and repeat every word spoken within a segment of Scooby Doo while mimicking every exaggerated movement the animated pencil strokes made. His actions seemed erratic but it was purely a mirroring of what he was consuming. In turn more controlled and calming activities would go by the wayside and I could tell that his issues with speech and learning were only being exacerbated by his constant consumption of television.

To my surprise and elation (my concerns were given validation) Scooby Doo was actually given a mention and used as a prime example of cartoons that contain multiple jump-cut edits that can be cognitively harmful if watched repeatedly. A jump-cut edit basically results in transitions from scene to scene happening almost simultaneously. Conceptually, time breaks down into smaller, quicker, more instantaneous pockets of action. For example, Scooby and his gang could go from running through a deep forest to taking refuge in a cave within half a second. We miss what it takes to get the group of mystery busters through the forest and into the cave – we miss the journey.

Why is this important? Well, we must all learn patience; we must all learn to apply ourselves to tasks that will often take more than 60 seconds to achieve. We must all learn to enjoy longer-awaited forms of gratification. We must all learn to listen more than one should speak and of course always improve upon a very old art form – communication.  According to analytics company, Nielsen, 2-5-year-olds watch more than 32 hours of television a week, adversely affecting speech, behavior, and brain development. We all have the right to have our health and development prioritized over the mass consumption of something that has been proven to cause severe harm.

New Research at London’s Institute of Psychiatry concludes that attention deficit disorder (ADHD) is a real problem in children and that early exposure to television during critical periods of brain development (adolescence) can be associated with subsequent attentional problems. In Remotely Controlled, Psychologist Dr. Sigmund speaks on the importance of proposing the following when raising young children in the home and there are some extra tips thrown in for families who want to curb screen time!

• Limit television time to no more than an hour a day for 1-5 year-olds
• Make use of other play and past time activities. Replace the tablet with a book, board game, crafts, or a favorite toy
• If the television must have a home in your house, then make it the living area. No television in children’s bedrooms.
• Remove cellphones from children’s bedrooms at night and return them in the morning after breakfast
• Sit down as a family and discuss how you would all like to manage your screen time. Make a plan and stick to it!

There’s only so much time in the day for the whole family to sit down together and enjoy a wholesome, home-cooked meal. Unfortunately for us, this means we’ll likely often be struck with some of those dreaded hunger pangs as we go about our jam-packed everyday lives. Enter snacking. Though it’s a heavily debated topic, let’s face it: snacking will oftentimes be our savior in the midst of a long day. But the real question remains: is this snacking really good for us? And for that matter, is it really good for the children?

To be fair, there is a simple reason for why this topic is so controversial. “Snacking” itself does not actually possess a concrete scientific definition. Likewise, an answer as to whether this snacking is really beneficial (or detrimental) to a child’s health remains just as ambiguous. And because of this, the best we can do is to try and better understand it—and its implications—and take the time to analyze it from a few different perspectives.

Statistically, children today are snacking more than ever before. According to Dr. Barry Popkin, a professor of nutritional health at the University of North Carolina, children aged between 2 and 8 around the world, on average, currently consume anywhere from three to seven snacks (which he designates as “[any]food consumed superfluously between the day’s primary meals”) every day. Compare that to not that long ago; the mean number of snacks consumed, per day, by children of the same demographic in 1970 was a mere one to two.

So what does this mean, exactly? Are children today becoming intoxicated by the addictive nature of calorie-laden snack foods? Of high concentrations of sodium, sugar, and dietary fats? Well, not exactly. Or, rather, it depends. And this is exactly where the multiple perspectives angle comes in.

Children are growing, and this in itself means that they have substantially higher energy needs than adults. Simply put, they burn a lot of calories every day just being them. And to support growth in early years, it is beneficial for them to consume at least as many calories as they expend. The problem is that, oftentimes, even with three meals a day, it can be difficult to satisfy those caloric requirements, especially for children who are active in their day-to-day lives (think after-school soccer or basketball or tennis practices multiple days a week). This is where snacking is especially helpful—providing some growth-stimulating fuel throughout a child’s daily schedule.

But again, multiple perspectives. Snacking carries with it a barrage of caveats that must be addressed. Despite the advantages that come with implementing snacks into your child’s diet, it must be done with care and strategy. This means paying close attention to not only the content of the snacks themselves, but also the ways in which they are being consumed. After all, packing pre-portioned organic nut butter with fresh celery sticks for your child’s morning recess is really not the same thing as allowing him or her to pop open a bag of deep-fried potato chips and plop down in front of the television.

In summary, the takeaway should be as follows. First, monitor (if possible) and consider the quality of the foods your child is used to snacking on. If you find that their choices tend to lean towards the unhealthy, remember that small changes can really go a long way. For instance, 100 grams of watermelon yields a respectable volume of fruit, and boasts a mere 30 calories, while 100 grams of, say, M&M’s barely give you a measly handful, and pack on a whopping 480 calories.

Second, consider constructing your own approach to snacking which you’d like to see your child adopt. If a kid is left to their own devices, it wouldn’t be surprising that they’d give in to their cravings and pick the cupcake over the apple. But few children would refuse the apple if it were given to them to begin with. Not to mention, introducing structure into the way your child snacks can provide a sense of comfort—for both you and them. If you know that your child tends to get hungry coming home in the afternoon, have some healthy snack options ready. You will be comforted to know what’s going into their bellies, and they, in turn, will know to expect a wholesome treat after a long day at school. Over time, a structure like this can adapt a child’s mindset—building, early on, a healthy and balanced relationship with food.

Photos: alarmy.com, longroom.com.uk, The Food Network

The sun is out and the skies are blue (for the most part, anyways). It’s summertime, which means you might be on vacation—but your healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be. Every city offers its unique takes on collaborative fitness and opportunities to help you reach your goals and Beijing is no exception. Outdoors or indoors, relaxing or invigorating, on a rooftop or in an office space, this city is teeming with countless options you can take on for yourself to get a sweat going and burn some extra calories (offsetting, of course, that decadent jianbing you treated yourself to for breakfast). Not to mention, a solid bout of fitness can be both physically and mentally rewarding. Sometimes, we’re all just one good workout away from a mood and healthy mindset. So don’t hesitate to try out these five outstanding fitness classes available around the city.

Summer Super Burn!, June 27
Over 18. Taking a turn from the relaxing realm of yoga, WeWork is offering an intensive one-time fitness session on the outdoor rooftop terrace of their Guanghua Lu branch on Wednesday June 27. Strength training, interval training, conditioning, and more will be led by certified trainer James from SuperFit Ltd. Free tastings of specialty cocktails and handmade healthy food options will be offered to fuel and for post-workout recovery. Participation is free, but pre-bookings are required. 6.30-7.30pm. All required equipment is provided. WeWork.

Pop-Up Office Yoga with Ziyang, Jul 2
Adults. For those working through the summer, a relaxing session of yoga in the afternoon may just be the perfect way to refresh after a busy morning. Join yoga instructor Ziyang for her twenty-minute sessions at 3pm on the first Monday of every month starting July 2. Sessions are hosted at Café Zarah, a scenic café, lounge, and art gallery rolled into one. Feel welcome to pop in unannounced: no reservations are required and the sessions are free. 3-3.20pm. All required equipment is provided. Café Zarah.

Kids Yoga with Ziyang, Jul 7
Kids 3+. Ziyang has classes for the young ones, too! Bring your kids along to Café Zarah on Sunday, July 7 for a special session of yoga. Get them moving early in the day, and enjoy a hearty family breakfast while you’re at it. Café Zarah will be offering specially prepared healthy meals for you and the kids. Parents will get to enjoy a 15 percent discount on breakfast. Not to mention, the restaurant-slash-lounge-slash-gallery will be having lions, peacocks, cobras, and more in house for the kids to meet at this event.10-10.40am. RMB 50 per child. Pre-booking required. Yoga mat or blanket is required. Café Zarah.

Tour de France Challenge – Beijing Guoan Sports Training Camp, every Sun from Jul 8
Adults. Probably the most reputable (and certainly the priciest) option on this list, the Beijing Tour de France Challenge boasts an extensive bang-for-your-buck participants package, not to mention a two-month rigorous training regimen beginning in July. For those hoping to hone their racing ability before the real-deal Beijing Tour de France this coming September—or those simply looking to test their physical and mental willpower—this demanding challenge will help you do just that with the guidance of seasoned and professional cycling coaches. Check out this page for more information and details on the contents of the participants’ package. RMB 2,999 per person. 10am-noon. Pre-booking is required and spots are filled on a first-come-first-serve basis.

Yoga in the Park, every Sun
All ages. If you enjoy yoga, but the indoors aren’t quite your thing, try Yoga in the Park. Hosted every Sunday morning by yoga instructor Theresa Rae at Chaoyang Park, this class will bring you to the great outdoors. The 90-minute session is followed by an optional group brunch at Moka Bros Solana, where participants of the class will enjoy a 15 percent discount. Contact Theresa (WeChat ID: TheresaRae) directly for more information. RMB 50 per person. 9.30-11am. The event will be canceled if it rains or the AQI exceeds 200. Yoga mats required. Chaoyang Park.

Photos: Courtesy of events organizers via the Beijinger

When I saw the new playground appearing in Sanlitun this fall I was very excited, for myself and my four year old daughter. This meant Sanlitun shopping would get a whole lot less boring, with the playground as a treat at the end. However, on a closer look, I was not sure if it was a very suitable playground. The design looked a bit too pretty; it gave me an unsafe feeling. But I as a parent put a great amount of trust in playground designers. They should know what they are doing, right? I put my iffy feeling away and let my daughter play several times, and then again last Saturday.

However, sadly my suspicion of a unsafe playground was vindicated when my friend’s daughter came down the slide and got her hand stuck in the side. When she got to the bottom we quickly saw that it was not just a little bump, she was badly hurt. The slide has sides with many openings where little and big hands get stuck. My friend’s daughter had to get a tetanus shot at ER and is fine, but accidents like this should not happen. Strangely enough when she came down the slide I took pictures, not knowing till I looked back what I had photographed. You can see what unfolded underneath on the pictures.

We trust that playgrounds are safe and our kids can play without getting injured, but clearly this is not the case. The playground is situated across from 3.3 Mall and The Opposite House. There is a sign which says “Opposite House Community Gardens”; however we inquired and the playground does not belong to the hotel but to “Sanlitun Street Administration Office”. We have tried to get in contact with them but as yet have received no response.

Photos: Pauline van Hasselt

China’s invisible army of service personnel

In our daily life in a small town in China’s far flung Northeast, there is a special group of women I have come to appreciate. For lack of a better word, I call them my son’s ayis (阿姨, aunts). They are not related to him, and they are not ayis in the sense of a caregiver, but rather female service personnel looking out for my son. They are the army of women who clean floors, wash beddings, or serve food in the canteen. Usually wearing a white blouse, a black blazer and black trousers or skirts, their work is underappreciated, and they are invisible, a mere small cog in the big wheel.

A favourite ayi

One of my favorite dajies (大姐, “big sisters”) is a woman in her early 40s working downstairs as a receptionist. She wears big round glasses and exhibits a lot of kindness. When she isn’t busy, she likes to read books behind the reception desk. She is also one of my son’s favorite ayis. She treats him respectfully, something he must have sensed from even when he was very little. When my now almost three-year old was a little smaller, he would usually clutch my hand and not talk to strangers, or simply say “不要, I don’t want to” if an ayi he disliked asked if he wanted to play. But he would agree to stay downstairs and play with this one ayi. Once I watched her push him on a rolling chair, both giggling with joy. Another time she let him use her markers to write on the whiteboard behind the reception desk, patiently watching him draw.

When at the beginning of spring the weather was finally warm enough to go to a nearby basketball court, I took both my sons there – my baby son stuck to my chest in his sling, my toddler son holding my hand. Once at the square, my toddler son started running around, kicking his yellow ball, singing and laughing happily after a winter spent mostly indoors. When we walked back home a little later, a Chinese woman wearing an orange down jacket joined us. She took my son by the hand I wasn’t holding and he let her. She asked him: “Where are you going?” “Home”, he answered without hesitation. My mind was still trying to figure out who she was. Did I know her? Did my son know her from kindergarten? Was she one of his teachers? Or was she a relative of my husband I couldn’t put a name on? She then asked my son: “Do you still remember me?” “I do”, he replied. After she had exchanged a few more sentences with my son, we parted ways with her. Only a little later I remembered who she was. She was one of the women working at the canteen I sometimes go to. I hadn’t been there in a while, and I had never seen her with casual clothes anywhere outside of the canteen before.

Treating children with kindness and respect

All of the ayis my son likes have one thing in common: They are kind, they are respectful and communicate with him directly. He can sense pretty well if someone treats him respectfully. While he often ignores people who ask a few questions too many, or states with a loud “不行 (not okay)” if a stranger nainai asks him to go home with her and become her new grandson, he will willingly interact with those who treat him kindly.

I love that he gets the chance to spend time with these wonderful women – women who are, unfortunately, often looked down upon here because of their jobs as service personnel. I love the way they interact with him, talking to him directly, taking him with them for a short walk through the canteen so I can finish my meal, or showing him around the storage room in our compound when he decides to go on an inspection tour.

Looking out for my son, playing with him, or teasing him all come naturally to them; it even seems as though they were born to do this. And while they would probably not accept my “thank yous” in person, I hope they still know how much I appreciate their attention and help.

Ruth Silbermayr-Song is an Austrian illustrator, German teacher and mother of two. She writes about life in China as a foreign woman, her cross-cultural marriage to a Chinese man, and child rearing bridging cultures and languages on her blog China Elevator Stories. Her story of pregnancy and parenting in China has appeared in the anthology “Knocked Up Abroad Again”.

Photos: Ruth Silbermayr-Song

A baby being held is a safe baby

A good Chinese grandma is one who can hold her grandchild any time, all the time. At least, that is the impression I get from my Chinese mother-in-law. Whenever I come back home from work and she has put my 7-month-old baby son down, either on the play mat or in his eating chair, she’ll apologize and will be fast to explain that she only just put him down a minute ago. I don’t mind her putting him down at all, and I’ve never complained about it, but being able to constantly hold a grandchild seems to be the go-to way here for making sure baby is safe and taken care of.

What does safety mean?

The understanding of what safety means is very different in China from what I’m used to from Austria. In Austria, making sure baby is safe means having at least one place where you can put baby down safely in case of an emergency, in case you need to open the door for someone, go to the loo, take a shower, you get the gist. It also means baby proofing your home, especially once baby starts to crawl. Medicine and small objects are usually put away, stored in a cupboard high enough so baby won’t be able to reach them. Any furniture that would topple over if baby would use it to pull himself up is moved to another room he can’t enter. Low cupboards are locked with children’s locks, and so on. Basically, the home is arranged in a way so you will not constantly need to worry about your baby if you are in another room for a minute.

Keeping baby safe the Chinese way works well if two people take care of one child

In China, baby-proofing your home doesn’t seem as much a thing as it is in Austria. With my first son, my in-laws laughed over our attempts to put dangerous stuff away and put a lock on lower cupboard doors. Why would you need to put things away if you watch your child closely all the time? There were lots of things I’d consider dangerous they didn’t put out of reach of a baby, and later a toddler. They also thought it was perfectly safe to have our son play on the bed, instead of the floor. The floor, after all, has cold qi. They were used to having a Kang, the heated bed aka common area everyone would sit on during colder times of the year, so putting baby on the bed was the natural thing to do. Their apartment is tiny, and to them, watching my son’s every step closely was what was needed to make sure he was safe, not putting stuff away. And safe he was. It might have caused a meltdown when he couldn’t play with that red pair of scissors he set his eyes on, but otherwise their method worked to keep him safe. It’s a common method in one-child China. If two grandparents are around to watch the child, one can actually do stuff while the other closely follows the child. My parents-in-law had a great routine when my son was at their place. My mother-in-law was the person mainly responsible for watching my son, while my father-in-law was responsible for cooking and cleaning. Once my firstborn turned from a baby into a toddler, he’d request his yeye tell him bedtime stories before his nap after lunch, and ask nainai to clean instead. Otherwise, their routine would stay the same on most days.

Keeping baby safe the Chinese way doesn’t work well if one person takes care of two children

Of course, now with two children, this way of making sure baby is safe doesn’t work as well anymore. One day when I came home from work, I found my baby son lying on a pile of paper my toddler son had just drawn on, surrounded by Duplo bricks in green, yellow, orange, red, violet and blue and markers with caps just small enough they could be a hazard if he put them into his mouth. While I entered the flat, my mother-in-law sprinted out of the kitchen, where she was heating up my toddler son’s lunch, to put away the paper. I usually allow my baby son to play with Duplo bricks – they are big enough and he can’t swallow them. I know it can get messy and chaotic with two kids at home, one a toddler, the other a baby. But because the understanding of how to keep a baby safe in China is so different from Austria, and because the method of holding baby to make sure he’s safe doesn’t work as well if you also need to take care of a toddler, I will lock away any small objects from now on – just to make sure my children are safe the Austrian way as well as the Chinese way.

Ruth Silbermayr-Song is an Austrian illustrator, German teacher and mother of two. She writes about life in China as a foreign woman, her cross-cultural marriage to a Chinese man, and child rearing bridging cultures and languages on her blog China Elevator Stories. Her story of pregnancy and parenting in China has appeared in the anthology “Knocked Up Abroad Again”.

Photos: Ruth Silbermayr-Song