I was busy cleaning my kitchen after cooking today and reflecting on how for many parents the kitchen is the hub of the home, so I thought to share with you a few simple mom-dad hacks and must-haves for your kitchen. These I hope will contribute to helping you keep your sanity and save time in the midst of your busy days!

Have your kids help you with simple tasks in the kitchen

I can’t utilize this one just yet, because Lux is so young. However those of you with older children, this one’s for you. This is a great way to teach your kids responsibility and also the importance of contributing to the household chores. Invite your kids to come and help you out in the kitchen. Try not to make it a bore, and use it as an opportunity to have a conversation while you prepare dinner and ask for simple tasks to be completed, such as setting the table or folding tea towels away in drawers. Time will be saved as you have helpers and this doubles up as a bonding experience – you might be surprised how much information can be divulged during these moments. If you happen to have both a son and a daughter, try including both kids when asking for help in the kitchen. This will teach your kids that domestic labor should be split between everyone and is not gender-specific!

Use simple and natural products that are safe for the family

By now I think it’s clear that I’m a fan of natural and waste-free products for the family and home. Using simply baking soda and natural dish soap you can clean chrome, porcelain sink basins, oven tops, and stoves. You can add your favorite natural essential oil to the mix to have your home smelling sweet like lavender, or like a summer’s day, with lemon. Alternatively, you can use any white or dark vinegar and lemon juice for most hard duty jobs in and around the kitchen. Clean safely and with less stress knowing that your kitchen is phosphate- and chlorine-free. It’s great to know that you can leave your kitchen knowing that the family hub is without harsh chemical residue.

Create your own functional and stylish pantry display

Over the past few weeks I have been collecting glass jars. You’ll be amazed how many of these we go through. Pesto jars, jam jars, olive jars, the list truly does go on. When you clean these thoroughly and scrub off labels, you’re left with really cute little jars that can be put to use in a number of ways. You can store craft supplies, scrap materials and buttons, or pantry items! I love a good pantry room, but let’s face it; most of us unfortunately do not have access to one of these, living in Beijing. One hack for the pantry-less is an open display for produce, snacks, and baking supplies. You can use shelves or counters in your kitchen. Place fresh fruit in a bowl, or fill baskets with kids’ snacks and glass jars with baking items in a chic and stylish way. Trust me, the results are so cute.

Invest in a slow cooker

Now we already know the importance of owning a rice cooker here, especially if you have an ayi, who in my case would probably say it is her best friend in the kitchen. However one-pot dinners are lifesavers and one of the simplest but most efficient hacks for busy families. You can throw a bunch of ingredients into a slow cooker early in the morning, forget about it all day, and then have a slap up meal ready for everyone by the time you get home. Winning! You can also use this item to prep ahead and freeze meals, which can be thawed and warmed through in the slow cooker too. You’re very welcome.

What mom-dad hacks do you swear by for your family?

Photos: Pixabay

When it comes to family money matters, the kids should arguably be a part of purposeful discussions that help them to foster the right kind of attitude and relationship with money. In addition to talking openly about money, parents may wish to support this process by offering their kids an allowance. All parents want to raise modest, patient, and grounded kids who can develop into financially savvy and wise savers and spenders, but how should we approach the issue of offering our kids money?

One of the most contentious issues around the giving of pocket money to children is not only the amount that is given on a weekly or monthly basis, but whether or not this transaction should be one that’s earned. Should our kids work for their allowances? Cleaning the car, taking out the trash, cleaning their room, and washing the dishes are just some of the most common sets of chores traditionally asked of children in an effort for them to be taught financial responsibility and the value of money.

No one wants to raise a child with a sense of self-entitlement, and having your kids earn their pocket money may seemingly be the best way in which to support the cultivation of a good work ethic and a meaningful understanding of money matters. However some parents would argue, as I do, that chores are foremost an integral part of family life, and household tasks should not be seen as a transactional tool whereby kids can trade in responsibilities for compensation. Household chores should be considered core elements of a child’s contribution to the home and family.

The Zupko family have adopted this philosophy and garnered their inspiration from the manifesto laid out in author and financial columnist Ron Leiber’s The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. This practical guide book for families is intended to provide a detailed blueprint for parents tackling family money matters related to: the Tooth Fairy, allowances, chores, charity, saving, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, and other issues that are directly related to finance. Parents are encouraged to teach and demonstrate healthy money management by having their kids take their allowance and allocate it evenly between save, spend, and share. “We let them decorate a bucket with a label for themselves so they really felt like a part of the process,” said Julia Zupko, mother of 11-year-old, Natalia and 9-year-old Josephine.

The Zupko Family

Helping our kids to differentiate between tasks we must all learn to contribute towards in a family, and the healthy management of money and expenditure, means that our kids will receive a more well-rounded philosophy and approach when it comes to domestic labor and how to spend and budget, “We are now starting to use a spreadsheet instead of physical buckets here in China because physical money is less relevant, where, in addition to using it as a credit/debit/balance system, we are also considering adding in a monthly APR so their money grows just like a real savings account and further, keeping track of the amount they would have had, had they not spent it,” says Zupko. She went on to say that there are no rules attached what her daughters can spend their allowances on, however perspective and advice is offered to support wise decisions.

The Lim family have a slightly different approach, which seems to embrace a more flexible process of offering ad hoc allowances to their 6-year-old boy, Zac, “We give pocket money irregularly, on demand and in reward”, said father of Zac, Michael Lim, “There is no set limit, if he likes the look of coins more than notes, we give him that.” When asked about how Zac’s allowance is earned I found it interesting that the Lim family’s allowance philosophy is not so much based on chores as such, but rather the triumphs and accomplishments of their little boy, “Zac receives an allowance by achieving goals and milestones, i.e. learning new vocabulary, listening to what we say, and picking up after himself when playing.”

For Lim, an allowance is a reward, so in that regard it is earned and therefore is a gesture that aims to attach meaning to the monetary gift. “We are promoting positive behaviors by rewarding them with food and toys, plus money in his piggy bank”, he said.

Although these two families are using a slightly different approach to the issue of raising kids with an allowance, the end game couldn’t have more synergy. These families are also dealing with family money matters with kids of different ages and therefore the nature of their methods will reflect the emotional, mental, and physical characteristics of their children. The Zupkos are teaching their kids fiscal responsibility, where, as is appropriate for Zac’s age, the Lims’ focus is on reinforcing the practice of positive behaviors related to fostering a good work and learning ethic.

The philosophy concerning allowances for kids may also adapt and change with time, and be built upon the unique attributes and makeup of each family. Both the Zupkos and the Lims are trying to support and encourage their kids to harness a greater sense of responsibility and a healthy attitude towards money, its worth, finiteness, and of course all the wonderful results of wealth-building.

What are often not discussed among parents and families however are the systematic elements of high and low-income households, which are directly connected to inequalities and segregation in education and housing. Some families have no choice but to raise children who will ultimately have to financially fend for themselves, and go without until they can. What lessons can be taught to these kids about money? How can parents of higher-income households balance the giving of an allowance with ensuring that their approach does not nature an attitude of entitlement?

The charity element that the Zupkos have implemented ensures that their kids are thinking about others and their needs; this could perhaps be a tool that can be used to combat the raising of prima donnas and an attitude that fails to acknowledge the importance of giving and empathy for those who do not have the same privileges. In regard to families who can’t offer physical money, lessons, praise, emotional support, and the giving of your time and energy can also be used to teach kids responsibility, accountability, and respect.

Every family is different, and we all have to do what works for our household when it comes to money matters. Below are a few reasons why giving kids an allowance can have a positive effect. However there are a plethora of other ways to teach kids about money – chocolate pennies, piggy banks and matching toy coins, trade-offs with selected items, and activity-based transactions can also be used to talk money and cultivate the right behaviors and attitudes towards giving, receiving, and the value of time and finance.

5 reasons to give kids an allowance

Teaches them how to budget

Make sure your kids are required to put a designated amount of their allowance into savings, and when spending money runs out, they will learn about healthy spending and preparing for unexpected expenses.

Helps give them a good work ethic

If you require your kids to work for their allowance, select the kind of tasks that work for you as a family and are not too connected to everyday contributions that all kids should be doing without compensation. If your kids are slightly older, you may ask that they run an errand for you, demonstrate generosity by helping out a neighbor with a chore of some sort, or learn a simple dish or snack they can prepare for the family on request.

Teaches them fiscal responsibility

Budgeting is arguably one of the most important skills we all should learn as early on as possible. It helps kids to be more responsible with their spending as they get older, and prepares them for the wider world of money management. What’s APR? How can one budget for shopping, travel, and disposable income spending? And how can one plan/save for short-term and long-term financial goals?

Helps them to understand what it takes to run a home

I had no idea how much money went into keeping my parents’ household running, and so when asking for extra pocket money never considered what expenditure was attached to keeping family life functioning. Kids need to learn how much money you spend on basic things, like food, utilities and even desirables, like toys and candy. Giving an allowance shows how far money will go, and by sharing some of the costs for things like food you can demonstrate how many allowances it would take to feed the family, so that finance is not an intangible concept.

Shows them their effort in the family is appreciated

Again, if you require your kids to earn their allowances, using the method above, you are also showing your kids how much you appreciate their contribution. Kids, particularly when in their teens, can feel like their help around the house goes unnoticed and without thanks. It’s all about balance. Yes, we should all contribute to household tasks but nonetheless, praise, thanks, and/or an allowance goes a long way in acknowledging and reinforcing the positive behaviors you would like to see more of.

Do your kids get an allowance? What’s your philosophy? Comment below!

Photos: courtesy of Julia Zupko, Michael Lim, Pixabay

This week we reported about a hidden statistical nugget in a story from China Daily, claiming that Beijing men spend almost as much time (1 hour 50 minutes) on daily household tasks as women (1 hour and 58 minutes). To test this we conducted a little survey of our own.

Early polling of beijingkids readers show women doing almost 2.5x the amount of housework compared to men, despite this original report stating that men and women were just about equal. Our tally is currently at 117 minutes for women compared to 43 minutes from men.

The original study by the Beijing survey office of the National Bureau of Statistics was created to analyze the rise in working hours of Beijingers, and polled 4,238 people older than 15 in 1,700 households. It stated that while Beijing women averaged 58 minutes less in the workplace, they worked eight minutes more than men doing chores.

While our readers’ numbers might be skewed by their dependency on ayis or mother-in-laws pitching in, the skewed ratio still holds: women in our readership group are doing nearly three times the housework than men. We hope this isn’t the case as there is much that can still be done by men outside of cleaning and cooking to share the mental load. Help us to more accurately determine who’s doing the lion’s share by forwarding our survey to your friends and acquaintances so that we can conclude our ultimate treatise on the Beijing expat family chore wars.

While it might be the tendency to believe that men don’t do their share of housework, times are definitely changing and it is becoming the norm for the patriarch to shoulder more and more of these household responsibilities.

If you are a mother out there looking for more support from the old man, set aside some time to develop a plan or a chore wheel to support each other through equally divvying out these essential responsibilities. Also, check this list out for more ways dads can help share the mental/physical load of parenthood.

In a recent New York Times article titled, "Age Approriate Chores for Children and Why They’re Not Doing Them," written by Motherlode columnist KJ Dell’Antonia was sparked after the above photo was posted on Maria Montessori’s Facebook Page and the comments it had generated. The reason that the writer gave for why children were not doing their chores was drawn from her own personal experience:

We have a chore wheel, perused with dedication to determine who feeds which animals at which part of the day, but several of the chores on it (“clean kitchen” and “empty dishwasher” spring to mind) go undone. Even our older children feel lame about this. “You should make us do our chores,” my 9-year-old told me recently. “Or you shouldn’t give us, like, half of our allowance.” (Allowance isn’t tied to chores at our house, although we’ve gone through haphazard efforts at taking it away if things aren’t done.)

There were those who opposed and those who supported the implementation of the list. The reasons of having children do or not do the chores is purely based on the personal values of each household as the articles illustrated by publishing some of the comments.

The list was created by Jennifer Flaunder, an author and stay home mom, based on their family’s philosophy on children’s chores after being asked by other parents what type of chores did they let their kids do. She gives tips of her own about this list:

Of course, every child is different, and some will need more supervision than others, over a longer period of time, before they can complete the chore up to standard. But try to be an encourager rather than a drill sergeant while you are training your children to do their work and to do it well.

Also remember that working side-by-side — or at least in the same corner of the house or yard — is good for camaraderie and morale, as is putting on some lively music to work by.

The Flaunder Family’s has a printable version of the list.

Photo courtesy of the Flaunder Family website.

I’m the man of the house. Don’t believe me; just ask the six females in my household. There are a great many tasks that only the man can do around the home. For example, no one seems to be able to do the laundry quite as well as I do. Go figure. If a toy is broken, it ends up on my desk for repairs. It might take weeks, but I fix it (or throw it away once it has been forgotten). Not surprisingly, I’m also the only one who leans out to clean outside windows. That’s right; these are tough, arduous tasks that have long been the domain of manly men.

Now, I’m adding one more task to the man-pile: baby nail cutting. For reasons wholly unknown to me, no one is willing to cut the nails of our twin boys (now 9 months).

When our daughter was a tiny tot, we had a neighbor who could cut all ten of her fingernails in the time it took me to retrieve the nail clippers. It was so staggeringly quick that we took our daughter to her simply to marvel at her speed and accuracy. Alas, we moved and that solution is long gone.

These days, the task falls to me, and I have taken up the mantle of responsibility with the same urgency that I apply to broken toys. Of course I will cut their nails … eventually.

The only problem is that I’m sometimes so busy doing other manly things about the house that I neglect to cut the tiny nails on my boys’ fingers and toes. This can result in babies and adults being lacerated by their tiny, razor sharp claws. The reason this is my responsibilities at all is that the ladies of the house are a bit faint of heart when it comes to the prospect of accidentally nipping baby fingers or toes.

Frankly speaking, this is one responsibility that few talk about before the birth of a baby. I’ve seen couples being brought to tears fighting over who should cut a baby’s nails. The problem is that it takes a steady hand and keen eyesight. My hands are steady like a photographer’s, but I give thanks every day to the people who invented autofocus.

Consequently, every week (or two), you will find me pinning down an arm or a leg and trying to distract two squirmy babies while maintaining Zen-like calm as I attempt to pare down all 40 nails. It’s dangerous work, but when it’s over, the boys immediately show their appreciation and reach out for mama.

Photo by Christopher Lay