As previously mentioned here is the second part of the Agony of Essay Mistakes. In that article, I mentioned 8 things to consider about writing your essay.  Hopefully by now you have started your essay and gotten well in to the story you are going to tell. With that in mind here are some of the common mistakes that kill an essay:

The number one killer from an admission officer’s perspective – Not answering the question!!!!! ‘Nough said. Well, read the question and answer it. It speaks to your intelligence.

Number two mistake – sports stories. “I single handedly pulled my team together when we were losing by twenty-five points, to rally AND score the final winning shot to win the game and the respect of all my peers!” There is a whole lot wrong with this, even if it is true. First – single handedly, yeah maybe but sports are usually team sports. Most teams have a coach and even if they don’t, really! Secondly, no one cares that you earned the respect of “all your peers”. The essay is not about winning, it’s not about accolades but it is about self-reflection. Sports stories are usually the number one go to topic (for boys) and perhaps the one most dead essay choice. By the way, respect does not come from winning the game – it comes from leadership and good choices, it comes from respecting others (as noted here, the student won the game all by himself), it comes from good communication skills and it comes from taking risks, to name a few important qualities.

Number three – vague references and off topic or grand statements. “I learned so much from my father, it changed my life” or “I spent two or three hours collecting all the materials that I needed”. What exactly did you learn? What materials? Be specific and provide great examples to support ideas. “I want to realize my dream” is so vague it causes my gag reflex. “I want to change the world” Wow, can’t wait! How will you change the world? Think instead of learning as a process that will lead to your goals (specifically used word), but again be specific.

Here is one from a student applying to a specific school answering the “why our school” question: “Simple Calculus including Differentiation was the obstacle to get the highest grade when I was in 10th grade. Before this, every topic was so easy that I could get the great grades. However, with my conviction, I continued solving past papers until I could understand them all. Eventually, I could pass through the crisis by getting the highest grade for the topic. And the course, Algebra and Calculus, seems to have so many hardships, but I believe enjoying the hardships is one way to conquer the mathematics.” Aside from being long winded, this last example has nothing to do with the essay, is so far off topic and provides information that is not necessary, in this context. Instead, I would want to read how he challenged not just the math curriculum but how his choice of courses relates to the programs at the school to which he is applying, even if he is applying undecided.

Number four – using vocabulary no normal native speaker would use or using big words in the wrong way or context. “Abnormal extraneous verbiage eradicates the oblique nature of my epistle only to confound the reader into rhapsodies of punishing tediousness.” I think you get the point – no one talks like this, especially teenagers or language learners.

The last example – getting lost in transition. Sometimes students focus so much on telling a story about an event, place, person, they forget to write about themselves until the end of the essay. They get sucked so deep trying to explain the example, they miss out on the real topic – themselves. Remember words are limited, use them all wisely.

As a reader, I want a clear simple story that tells about a genuine experience, or more than one experience. I want to leave knowing more about the student than when I started. I don’t want information repeated that I could find elsewhere in the application. I want the writer to explore and think deeply about their life experience and how they changed.

There is no question that writing this kind of essay is hard, even for adults. So – keep it simple, be clear about the qualities you want to reveal, tell a good story about you.

Photo: netdna-cdn.com

As an educational consultant and college advisor for the last twenty some odd years one of my main jobs is to read, edit and comment on student’s essays. This is perhaps one of the most interesting parts of my job but it can also be the most frustrating.

When I am working with a student on their essays our first task is to brainstorm ideas – find that one event or several tied events that bring light to a student; information that would otherwise not be found in an application. Once the topic has been decided I send the student off to get at the writing process.

Students come at the essay with a number of preconceived notions, usually in the form of “I really need to impress the admission officer with my treatise with a plethora of stupefying vocabulary and my ethereal perception.” Everything about this sentence is wrong – from the concept that the student has to be amazing to the use of words they would never, ever use except on an SAT Writing test.  What university admission folks really want is…. wait for it…. an honest 17 years olds, heartfelt essay. Yep, that’s it! Nothing fancy or outlandish. Just a plain old essay with the following caveats to be aware of.

When I read an essay I try to put my mind in the space of an admission officer and to think what do I want to read and learn from this student. I don’t expect students to have had life threatening, death defying experiences – they’re teenagers. Most students at this age have had relatively mundane existences – no offense. I know that students feel inadequate, insecure, trifled by life that is mostly made up of going to school, doing homework and eating. Their life is normal and that is okay. Now, some students have had amazing and frankly life changing experiences, but truly most have not.

In the second part of this article I will address some specific examples of things that go wrong. But for now let’s focus on some points that are imminently important.

1.    It’s application season, so get writing. If you haven’t started your essays, tick tock
2.    Don’t make the essay the Mount Everest of your application. Yes, it is a daunting task but the only way to get started is to start
3.    Be clear about what you want to write. List the most important personal characteristics you would like to detail in your essay e.g. leadership, responsibility, perseverance, communication skills, eager learner, and compassion, to name a few options.
4.    Think of a story, for your experiences, that encompasses these qualities so you can highlight them
5.    Remember personality is not just personal qualities, but also perspective, tone of voice and language that YOU would use.
6.    Choose how you will attack the essay:
a.    Choose one of the five questions and address your essay to that topic
b.    Just sit and write what I call the vomit essay. The VE is an essay where you just write about anything that comes to mind about you. Vomit the words onto the computer. Give the essay a few days to percolate and then come back – what stands out?
i.    Once you have figured out what you want to write, then tailor it one of the essay topics
7.    Do and do not get lost in the details – make sure that you are giving the reader enough background information about your theme, event or person but not so much that the information takes over the essay. This is the toilet bowl essay – everything just goes swirling down. Make sure there is balance.
8.    Finally, remember the essay is about you. Keep the focus on you!

Part 2 of this article will address specific potholes to avoid or be aware coming back to some of those listed above.

Until next time!

Photo: netdna-cdn.com

Summer is such an exciting time that the last thing on students’ minds is the the college application. And who would blame them? There are academic programs they’re attending, internships or summer camps engaging them, not to mention friends and the freedom from the day-to-day school push. I too have stopped short on my own inspiration. Summer is fun!

But the reality is that because there is more time, summer can also be a great  time to maintain focus on the important aspects of the college/boarding school admission process. While it may be the last thing on students’ minds, it should plague their conscience. Spending time to research schools, collecting and organizing items for the resume, and putting words down to complete the essays are hard work, but so necessary.

The most important factor is time management and organization. For effective time management, make sure you schedule time each day to do something college/boarding school application related. Whether it’s researching schools, sending emails to admissions representatives, or jotting down ideas for the essays, do something. It’s not only about allocating time, it is about actually doing something. Using your calendar application on your computer to set 30 minutes to an hour each day will help immensely. Remember to be realistic though, if the summer program is time consuming, don’t over book yourself. The important thing not to do is say, “well, I will do this tomorrow.” There are a lot of tomorrows and the next thing you know, you have none left and summer is over. So, schedule time!

Organization is also obviously important. Make a plan about how you will use the time you have just scheduled. Maybe one day is allocated to researching schools, the next is working on your resume, and the next is essay brainstorming/writing and so on. As you attack each task, you will, one hopes, start gaining moment and you will be able to check off these items as done. One thing that is important to keep in mind as you move along is this: the idea is not to get then just done. You want to put quality work into what you are doing. It makes no sense just to do them to get them over with but to really dedicate time and focus to really get them done. Of course, you can come back later to review them and you should. But like anything worthy, you have to put in the time, energy, and focus.

I was speaking with a college representative yesterday on the plane to Chicago. I asked her about college essays and what she thought about them. Her first complaint was that it was obvious when a student had waited until the last minute. Her second complaint was that students spend too much time trying to write what they think admission officers want to hear rather than bringing individual, personal perspective to the essays. Next came the ubiquitous complaint about using “impressive” words rather than using genuine wording the student would normally use.

I know that I have covered these items before but they are worth repeating. It is impossible to try to figure out what an admission committee wants to hear. So here is a clue – they want to hear your personal perspective, in your tone and language. Hence, the name, personal statement. Write about you using factual experiences to drive your essays and your resume.

My final comment is this – have fun with your essay. Of course it is drudgery if you are trying to be someone else as you approach this task. Be true to yourself is a motto I completely appreciate and, in this case, fits the bill. If you are true to yourself and focus your energy on the tasks at hand, you are going to feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment. So, get scheduling, get writing, and get researching.

Hamilton Gregg is the founder of International Educational Consulting and has worked in education since 1985. He helps students and their families understand their personal and educational needs and find the right school to meet their requirements. If you are a student or parent who would like to ask Gregg a question on our blog, please email hsgregg45@gmail.com

Pixababy (Flickr)