With kids back to school, parents can breathe a sigh of relief. But school does come with its own set of challenges, for instance bullying. While the traditional image of bullying is probably one of a bigger-sized kid cornering a smaller kid and threatening physical violence, that image is much less relevant in our modern day and age. Bullying is so much more unseen these days that it can be hard to detect in our kids’ lives, so we must be highly tuned in to our children’s mental, emotional and physical state in order to discover it.

An earlier jingkids article identified different forms of bullying, which can be largely categorized into these 4:

Verbal Bullying
What It Is: Verbal bullying, or bullying with cruel spoken words, involves ongoing name-calling, threatening, and making disrespectful comments about someone’s attributes (appearance, religion, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, etc.).

Physical Bullying
What It Is: Physical bullying, or bullying with aggressive physical intimidation, involves repeated hitting, kicking, tripping, blocking, pushing, and touching in unwanted and inappropriate ways.

Relational Bullying
What It Is: Relational bullying, or bullying with exclusionary tactics, involves deliberately preventing someone from joining or being part of a group, whether it’s at a lunch table, game, sport, or social activity.

Cyberbullying
What It Is: Cyberbullying, or bullying in cyberspace, involves haranguing someone by spreading mean words, lies, and false rumors through e-mails, text messages, and social media posts. Sexist, racist, and homophobic messages create a hostile atmosphere, even when not directly targeting your child.

Cyber-bullying has been especially highlighted by the Chinese government in recent years, as the administration has implemented several new laws to counter the undesirable behavior. Another jingkids article back in 2020 wrote that all producers, users, and platforms of network information content services shall use the Internet in a civilized and healthy way, and shall not carry out illegal activities, such as Internet violence, human flesh search, deep forgery, fake web traffic, and account manipulation.

Those who violate these provisions shall be subject to disciplinary measures, such as online behavior restrictions, account closures, and industry bans.

Cases of cyber-bullying are many and range widely: In Taiwan, a group of young people physically assaulted a fourteen-year-old female, and the assault was filmed and posted on blogs. In Hong Kong, a young female argued with a store manager, filmed the argument, and uploaded it on a blog. She faced a backlash from netizens who began to abuse and berate her for her actions. Although she deleted the video and apologized, they continued to attack her and publicize her photographs, address, and other personal details. The young woman became afraid to leave her home and contemplated suicide.

One thing remains true in all cases: The consequences of cyber bullying were very real and its effects are lasting. This jingkids article in 2019 suggests strategies for preventing and handling bullying, as explained in Juliet Lythicot-Haims’ book “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success“.

Interestingly, the author points out that bullying rates have not gone up in recent years, but parent sensitivity has.

In light of this, perhaps especially in China – where many parents and grandparents are very protective – it is important to try to separate normal childhood struggles from true bullying. Experts suggest that allowing children to solve problems without interference is an important part of growing up and that intervening may do more harm than good.

However, in situations where true bullying behavior takes place, there are some key concepts we can become familiar with to help our children.

First, research has shown that the kindness approach is far more effective to stopping behavior than a punitive one. Schools who do not have a kindness program should be encouraged to install one and we as parents can talk with our children at home about strategies in kindness as a response to hurtful behavior.

Everyone hurts when bullying occurs, including the instigator(s). Therefore, to effectively address the issues, all parties need support. Children who bully have unmet needs that can be replaced with more positive support. Children who are victims deserve strategies to help them cope with and find positive ways to process emotions and reactions. As for bystanders – those who witness the interactions play a vital role in stopping these negative behaviors. For this reason, some anti–bullying programs focus heavily on helping bystanders evaluate the situation and be brave enough to say or do something to diffuse the situation. We can all support our children at home to be effective bystanders.

Finally, we need to understand that many bullying situations occur because of differences. As the saying goes, we are often afraid of what we do not understand. A child who dresses differently has unusual tastes, is of a different race, or who looks different may be bullied. Helping children to accept and celebrate differences can make a huge impact on how social interactions play out in the school halls and playgrounds. Let’s focus more on supporting all of the parties involved and restoring harmony by righting misdeeds rather than looking for apologies. When we support our children in acting responsibly with their peers we are supporting their future emotional lives as responsible adults.

Education is key to eradicating all types of bullying – Join the live Suicide Awareness Panel happening next Tuesday, Sep 6, at JinShang building. Scan the QR code below for more information.

KEEP READING: Kids Are Finally Back to School. It’s Time for a Spa Day

 Images: Pexels, vendor’s own

Unlike physical bullying, cyber bullying involves haranguing someone by spreading mean words, lies, and false rumors through e-mails, text messages, and social media posts. Since it’s largely done behind the screen using the protection of a pseudonym, cyber bullying could be worse and more hurtful than physical bullying.

On Dec 20 The Cyberspace Administration of China announced its new regulation on Ecological Management of Network Information Content to tackle cyber bullying, which will go into effect on March 1, 2020.

According to the new regulation, producers, users, and platforms of network information content services shall use the Internet in a civilized and healthy way, and shall not carry out illegal activities, such as Internet violence, human flesh search, deep forgery, fake web traffic, and account manipulation.

Those who violate these provisions shall be subject to disciplinary measures, such as online behavior restrictions, account closures, and industry bans.

In recent years, there have been several high-profile cases reported in the media of young people committing suicide as a direct result of being victims of cyber bullying. The topic drew further attention when three K-pop stars committed suicide due to constant cyber bullying earlier this year.

In 2018, a female doctor committed suicide in Deyang, Sichuan province due to an online outcry and rumors after she was attacked by two teenage boys in a swimming pool and got in a fight with the boys’ family. Later that year, a blogger identified by Sina Weibo as “writer Chen Lan” accused one girl’s parents of torturing their daughter to death and claimed that her parents created a fraudulent donation page on an online fundraising website, Shuidi Chou. The false accusations caused outrage amongst netizens who started to harass the girl’s parents.

In Oct 2014, some regulations were rolled out to tackle cyber bullying issues, including the network violence infringes on the right of name, reputation, and privacy issues. However, there is some insufficient legal applicability.

“The new regulation further refines some of the broad requirements for Internet content in the cyber security law,” professor Wang Sixin of the Political Science and Law Department of the Communication University of China, told Legal Daily. “The advantage of such an arrangement is, make Internet users have a clear direction. It makes it easier for content providers and consumers to produce, communicate, and distribute content according to these standards.”

Photo: pixabay.com

On October 26, the 14th session of the 13th National People’s Congress (NPC) standing committee held a group meeting to examine the revised draft of the law on the protection of minors and the law on the prevention of juvenile delinquency.

In recent years, even though cases of school violence have been declining year by year, there are still many new problems which have emerged in the field of minors’ protection, such as campus safety accidents, inadequate guardianship, sexual assault incidents of employees who have close contact with minors, and extreme cases of minors’ crimes.

Just last month, a 10-year-old girl was killed in Dalian, with authorities saying that the main suspect is a 13-year-old boy and not under the legal age of criminal responsibility. According to local investigation, at least three women in the vicinity said they had experienced varying degrees of harassment and stalking by the boy.

Nevertheless, campus bullying had been seen as a private moral issue to be addressed by one’s family. The coming-of-age Better Days has proven a surprise hit since its release in cinemas late last month, being lauded for its bold, unflinching portrayal of school bullying.

“The revision draft of the law on the prevention of juvenile delinquency is under consideration.” People’s Daily commented. “Early detection and early prevention must be carried out.”

To curbing bullying in schools, one of the highlights of the revised draft amendment to the law on the protection of minors is the requirement for schools (Visit here to get the full version):

• Establish a system for preventing and controlling bullying among students; Carry out training and education on preventing and controlling students’ bullying.
• The school shall promptly stop and deal with bullying, and notify the parents or other guardians of the minor students who are bullied or bullied.
• Relevant minor students shall be provided with timely psychological counseling and educational guidance; Parents or other guardians of the relevant minor students shall be given necessary family education guidance.
• Schools shall cooperate with the relevant departments. According to the nature and severity of the bullying, give correction or punishment to the minor students who carry out the bullying according to the law.

Photo: Pexels

China has launched a new campaign to tackle school bullying that will last until December 2016.  According to a notice issued by the education supervision committee under the State Council, the campaign will target elementary, middle, and secondary schools nationwide.  Here, bullying is defined as physical and verbal abuse, including cyber-bullying.

In the last five years, school bullying has increased dramatically, with an estimate of one in five students being bullied.  According to a survey of 5,000 students published by China Youth and Children Research Center performed earlier this year, 32.5 percent of students experienced “mild bullying” and 6 percent experienced “severe bullying”.  University students seem to be even worse off, with 49 percent admitting they’re bullies, and 87 percent reporting themselves as victims of bullying according to a report by Zhejiang University.

The news backs the data, as between 2014 and 2015 Chinese news had featured an estimated 43 cases of severe school bullying.  In 2015, a junior high school student committed suicide by jumping off a roof as a result of “being bullied everyday”. There was a girl who was stripped naked, beaten, and photographed by other girls.  In April this year, a video showing a female student being slapped and kicked over 30 times by senior classmates went viral on the internet, igniting a public discussion on campus violence.

After much pressure, the government has finally begun addressing the issue of school violence and announced its action plan. Previously, China had no laws against peer bullying, only against teachers abusing students.  Campus bullying had been seen as a private moral issue to be addressed by one’s family.

In China, teenagers 14 and above can be criminally responsible, but defendants under 16 can only be charged with eight major crimes, such as murder, rape, and drug trafficking. School bullying rarely falls under any of the eight major crimes, resulting in offenders receiving lenient sentences in court. The age loophole in the current legal system has resulted in children under the age of 14 escaping punishment completely, even for intentional homicide.  There is public concern that such light punishments do not deter violence and abuse, but school bullies go on to university and adulthood with more and more victims suffering along the bullies’ reckless paths.

Here’s how China plans on tackling school bullying:

• Assigned “inspectors” will monitor incidents in their districts.
• The inspectors will report incidents to the school officials, as well as the education inspection department.
• Schools are to create their own procedures for combating school bullying.
• School faculty should be trained in bullying prevention strategies.
• School faculty to be involved in responding to bullying cases with clear ideas of each of their roles in the process.
• School staff to cooperate with security personnel in filing appropriate charges if enough evidence of school bullying is found.
• Schools are to establish their own psychological consultation programs for bullied victims.
• Schools are to establish their own bullying hotline for students to call.
• School officials to educate students about the moral, psychological, and security effects of bullying on campus.
• Schools are responsible for inviting public security and justice departments to provide anti-bullying education.

How schools will respond to the notice and take on the tasks assigned to them remains to be seen.

Photo: Flickr

Bullying is one of those topics that is all too often swept under the rug. In last month’s issue, we delved into the sensitive subject hoping to provide parents with peace of mind about what international Beijing schools’ are doing to address the problem. We spoke to two schools about bullying: First we spoke with four high school students from the Canadian International School of Beijing (CIS) about the detrimental effects of cyber bullying and then spoke to International Montessori School of Beijing (MSB), who shared the details on their educational bullying program for students from Grade 1-6. Dr. Kristie Craigen, a Hong Kong based clinical psychologist, also spoke to us about what kids can do if they or a friend is experiencing some form of bullying. Read the interview with Dr. Craigen and find out more about MSB’s program here. In our interview with Dr. Craigen, she talks about what kids should do when encountering a bully but what can parents do if their child becomes a victim of bullying?

Flipthescriptnow.org  is a comprehensive resource for parents, students, and educators and provides valuable anti-bullying resources. The website also gives tips for parents to tell whether their child is the victim of bullying or if their child may be bullying themselves. Below are 10 suggestions on a parent’s role in children’s behavior.

“Teach Pro-Social Behavior– Parents can help their children learn ways to handle their anger, frustration, or other negative feelings. Some kids take these feelings out on other children because they don’t know better ways to cope. Model good behavior, and teach children how to resolve conflict in non-aggressive ways.
Promote Extracurricular Activities– Encourage children to pursue interests outside of school. This helps kids build their confidence, introduces them to like-minded peers and shows them that their experience in school does not set the stage for the rest of their life.
Assure Help Will Come– Concern over exacerbating the problem often prevents children from reporting bullying to adults. Assure your child he or she made the right choice by telling you, and then prove it to them by dealing with the situation in a responsible and confidential way.
Stand Strong for Safe Schools– Bullying is another term to describe youth violence. If you feel that your child’s school is not able to manage the bullying that is occurring, engage your local police department in helping raise awareness of the seriousnessof this issue an teaching schools ways to manage aggressive youth.
Set Boundaries with Technology– Educate your child on appropriate online behavior and supervise their activities online. Set up proper filters and place computers in public areas. Cell phones and the Intenet should be privileges that can be lost when not used properly.
Be Familiar with New Technology– Kids art often more savvy than adults today regarding technology. It’s important to familiarize yourself with the technology, social networking websites, and other online resources that are popular among youth today.
Stay Informed About Your Child’s Life– In addition to maintaining open lines of communication, keep up to date on your child’s friendship’s and where and with whom he or she spends time, both in and out of school.
Maintain Open Communication– Maintaining an open and honest dialogue between you and your child about their lives increases the likelihood they will turn to you when they need help. Try approaching your child in an interested and non-judgmental way.
Advocate Reporting Antisocial Behavior– Bullying is any sort of non acceptable behavior. Teach your child that telling on those who bully is not considered tattling. Even if your child is not being bullied, he or she can learn the value of helping others in trouble.
Build Empathy– The ability to put one self in someone else’s shoes can be a powerful ally against bullying. Talk with your children about how they think it feels to be pushed down the stairs, ridiculed in front of a group of kids, excluded from an activity, etc.”

Photo: daneeliz (Google Images)

In the strictest sense, cyber bullying is when someone is a virtual target of humiliation, harassment and/or embarrassment via the use of digital technologies. However, unlike physical bullying, which at least puts a face to the harasser, cyber bullying is largely done behind closed doors using the protection of a pseudonym. Even if the harasser and victim are known to each other, the Internet offers a shield behind which bullies can hide.   

Recently, there has been an incident of cyber bullying involving two juniors at one of the international schools. One of the young boys had been provoking and teasing his target over Facebook, making his taunts public for the entire junior class to see. The bully had been calling his victim names and publishing embarrassing stories about him. The teasing and taunting had been going on for months, but the victim chose not to speak up, as he felt like he had no one to turn to.

The online conflict escalated into a physical fight during class time, apparently “to settle things once and for all.” The fight resulted in a suspension for the bully who initiated the confrontation, as well as an unfortunate expulsion for the victim (it was his second fight of the academic year).

A group of fellow classmates rallied behind the victim and requested the school not expel him. The classmates explained the cyber bulling to their teachers and said that to expel the boy would be unfair.

The school plans on holding information sessions, urging them to take precautions when online. However, students say that holding information sessions would do little to stop online bullying.

The issue with cyber bullying is that it happens under the radar and often outside school hours. If students are harassing each other from the comfort of their homes, just how much are schools expected to do and when should they intervene?

While it’s up to parents to monitor their children’s online activity at home, unless your kids actually tell you they are being harassed, it’s difficult to detect that anything is wrong. Cyber bullying shows no physical signs – no bruises, no missing pocket money, no torn clothes.

Friends at school may not be all that supportive either, as they feel that it’s none of their business, or that they will incur the wrath of the bully themselves should they step forward.

Parents must maintain communication with their children and be supportive if they come to them with a problem. Remember: Even though there are some privacy settings on social networking sites, there are always ways for bullies to access and leak embarrassing and hurtful information. 

As for kids: If you are a victim of cyber bullying, you must tell an adult you trust whether it is your parents, a relative, a friend, or a teacher. Telling someone is important because they can help you.

Jodie is beijingkids’ student correspondent and is our eyes and ears on the ground. A junior student at Western Academy of Beijing, Jodie is also a contributor to the student-run magazine Unit-E. Check back for more of her blogs about student life.