Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your partner’s name?

AJ Donnelly and Nicola Doering.

Where are you from? Where is your partner from?

I’m [AJ] from Bedford and Nic is from the Isle of Sheppey in Kent, both in the UK.

How long have you been together?

We’ve known each other since October 2009, and we’ve been together since April 2010. We got married in August (08.08!) 2017.

Where and how did you meet?

AJ: Funny you should ask! We actually met through theBeijinger classifieds section. It was coming up on the October holidays in 2009, and Nic had no plans, so put out a listing on the tbj website, looking for someone to just hang out with over the holiday. I was kind of single at the time, so figured it would be interesting to meet a foreigner from the classifieds, as opposed to the Chinese girls I’d met before.

Nic: To be honest I didn’t have any expectations at all of meeting anyone through classifieds in Beijing. I’d been on a couple of other dates, including one where the guy was already talking about marriage! So meeting AJ was a pleasant surprise. But although I liked him, he was very intense, and after three dates I’d actually decided not to see him again, at least not romantically. In the new year I wondered if I’d made the decision too hastily and asked him if he wanted to see a movie with me (it was Avatar and it was pretty bad!). But he was like a different person! From then on we started seeing each other regularly.

What was your first date?

AJ: I’m not sure I’d classify it as a date. We met up in Ritan Park, and spent around 3 hours walking around in a circle. We’d both been in China for a long time, so we had plenty of stories to share. It was certainly different from what I’d become used to over the years, and was a refreshing change. But after that, and seeing each other a couple of times, there really wasn’t a spark, so we didn’t see each other again for a while. A few months later though, Nic messaged me and asked if I’d like to see Avatar with her. I figured it was just a friends-hanging-out situation, so asked my mate to join. Fortunately he didn’t want to go, it turned into a real date, and we somehow saw a different side if each other. And now here we are!

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

AJ: Maybe it sounds cheesy, but I’m not sure if there was ever a time when I thought “I wonder how long this will last?” It was just so natural, so comfortable, so right from the start that I kind of just said to myself, “Yeah, this is where everything else was leading to.”

Nic: I knew right after Avatar! He was so funny and charming!

What do you love about each other?

AJ: Nic is the only person that really gets me, in every way. She just knows what I’m thinking, what I need, what my feelings are in any given situation. But more than that, she complements my existence. Not in an “opposites attract” kind of way, but in a literal yin and yang type of way, in that we bring balance to each other through our differences, while at the same time containing small characteristics of each other within us. When I’m teaching, I always describe taichi, and yin yang, as a dynamic balance, and that is exactly the kind of love Nic and I share, I believe.

Nic: AJ is sweet, thoughtful and loving. We can depend on each other and we complement each other in both our personalities and skills. He loves animals. He makes me question things that I take for granted and see the world in a different way. And he makes me laugh A LOT.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

AJ: Is it different to anywhere else? I’m not sure. I’ve only ever been in love here. I would say that the particular challenges that the life and culture of Beijing can bring can cause challenges for your relationship, and stress of the city can translate to pressure on your budding love. But dating, and eventually falling in love, in Beijing can also be a blessing; you and your partner can bond over your shared interest of the life and culture here, and your relationship grows and develops at the same time as your ties to the city. That’s certainly what happened between Nic and I, and our love grows stronger every day we are here.

Nic: I don’t think falling in love in Beijing is different to anywhere else, though that may not be true for everyone. But if I had advice for others, it would be, firstly, give people a chance. I met AJ during a bit of a stressful time for him (but I didn’t know that), and if I hadn’t given him a second chance I would have missed out on the love of my life. So give it several dates before you make a final decision! Secondly, running a company together (which seems quite common amongst couples here) can put a strain on a relationship without doubt. But communication and honesty are crucial and I think that’s one of our strengths. As is being willing to spend a lot of time together!

Photos: Courtesy of AJ Donnelly

Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your partner’s name?

My name is Lana and my husband’s name is Mohamed (very Arabic).

Where are you from? Where is your partner from?

I’m actually a mix of American and Russian, while Mohamed is a pure Yemeni.

How long have you been together?

Now that you ask, it’s been longer than I thought. We have been together since April 2013! Going into our 7^th year.

Where and how did you meet?

I was working in Guangzhou at this time and was looking for a place to travel for the holidays. My friend asked if I wanted to go to Dalian with him and I agreed. When at the airport, he had to immediately cancel the trip as he had a potential client arriving in the morning.

This lead to me going alone — god knows where Dalian was on the map of China. I hadn’t done any research and spoke zero Chinese. As my friend felt so guilty, he said he would find a good friend in Dalian to take me around the city so I don’t feel lonely. This friend was Mohamed, speaking zero English at that time, he only spoke Arabic and Chinese, both of which I didn’t!

What was your first date?

So the day after I arrived he invited me to a restaurant, Xinjiang local student place, and I didn’t know how to explain to him that I don’t eat meat. That was the funniest surprise to an Arab, how is that possible? The chef knew Mohamed and was very kind. We had a nice meal and then he took me to the mountain top on his motorcycle. It was really amazing and very romantic, riding through amazing scenery with the sea breeze, and then having a small picnic, which was not something I had thought of for a tour trip.

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

We were talking an hour daily on Skype. He didn’t understand what I was saying and I didn’t understand him. I found out his birthday was at the end of April and decided to surprise him with a visit. I could see how happy he was and at that time I realized, I finally found a person who is in love with me, he’s a keeper!

What do you love about each other?

I love the fact that we fulfill each other’s disadvantages. He loves cooking, I don’t. I love cleaning, he doesn’t. Mohamed is a man of his word and that really makes me feel safe no matter what. We love each other in all these different ways and have been through a lot for both family sides to accept our marriage. My parents in America weren’t thrilled, just like his weren’t keen on him marrying a foreigner, but in the end, love prevailed and we respect each other’s cultural traditions.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

At first, when you arrive here, everything feels more difficult. You feel there are many more regulations is some way. In another way, there are so many international places around and you feel much lighter knowing you can go to a Brazilian place today, Italian tomorrow, and have some nice cheesecake on the weekend. Besides, there are so many activities in the city, you never get bored!

Photos: Courtesy of Lana

Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your spouse’s name?

My name is Jennifer Hyde Sachs and my husband’s name is Li Wei (李委)

Where are you both from?

I am from Baltimore, MD in the U.S. and my husband is from Beijing.

How long have you been together?

We have known each other since the spring of 1992 and we have been married for almost 19 years.

Where and how did you meet?

We actually met the first time through his brother. I was working as a teacher at Beijing Polytechnic University, and Li Wei was helping his brother sell tickets to a rock show. They used to run a lot of shows together in the early 90s. It was an incredibly interesting time to be living in Beijing. When we first met, we were just acquaintances, so there weren’t really any sparks. And, since it was less than a year after I arrived in Beijing, I wasn’t exactly fluent in Mandarin, and he didn’t speak any English.

What was your first date?

I guess there were a few sparks that I hadn’t noticed when we first met because Li Wei found me after I had moved jobs and was working at the Kunlun hotel and asked me to dinner. I think I understood about 50 percent of what he was saying (and I am sure he was speaking VERY slowly), but somehow we managed to spend about 12 hours talking.

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

Actually it was that night when he quoted some lines from “Howl” by Allen Ginsberg (I was an English lit major in university). It took us a few twists and turns and ups and downs, but eventually we got married and now have three beautiful boys, so it was worth the wait!

What do you love about each other?

I am not sure what he still loves about me as I can be pretty annoying at times! But, we work together and one of the things I still love about him is his incredible, superhuman ability to remain calm regardless of what is going on. I still remember years ago when our apartment was flooded and I had to go to work. Li Wei just grabbed a mop, and started cleaning up the mess while he whistled.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

I often joke with my husband that I fell in love WITH Beijing before I fell in love with him, but really I do think the fact that I love living in Beijing made it easier to fall in love while in Beijing. If you feel awful about where you are it is going to be incredibly difficult to feel ‘in the mood’ for love.

Photos: courtesy of Jennifer Hyde Sachs

Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your spouse’s name?

Elisabetta Guarnero and Xiong Tao.

Where are you both from?

I’m from a small city near Milan in the northwest part of Italy and Xiong Tao is from Hubei province, China.

How long have you been together?

Seven years now. We met in 2012, dated for a year and a half, got legally married in October 2013, and had a traditional wedding celebration on Chinese New Year in February 2014.

Where and how did you meet?

We met on [Chinese social network] QQ. I was alone in Beijing, [having]came here to study and improve [my]Chinese language. I was living in a dorm in BLCU Wudaokou. Xiong Tao was also in Beijing by himself, working as a landscape designer in a Chinese company in Wudaokou. I started using QQ to try and find new friends, people to talk Chinese with, and QQ has a tool to “search for people around you.” Well, he was doing the same, looking for people around him, and found me! He added me and asked me in English: “Can you speak Chinese?” I said yes, and we started chatting. After 15 to 20 days we decided to meet!

What was your first date?

Our first date didn’t start well. It was a Saturday, he asked me out to finally meet after a couple of weeks of texting and phone calls. He told me to wait for him at the bus stop near Liudaokou. I waited, and then I was like “Where the hell is he?!?” So I started texting him, I thought it was a joke, he was almost 40 minutes late. I’m always super on time and I hate waiting! He apologized and said he was stuck in traffic on a bus. So I kept waiting. After one hour he gets off the bus and when I look at him I think, “Another joke! He lied about his age!” He looked soooo old wearing a suit, super elegant leather shoes, a jacket, and even a tie. He explained many months later that he didn’t know what to wear to meet with a foreign girl, he probably watched too many American TV shows and decided to wear a suit, his best outfit!

Our date after this little incident was super romantic and super good. We walked all the way to the shopping mall in Wudaokou, he invited me for a fresh orange juice, while we kept talking about our life, then he treated me to dinner, and even invited me to the movies. While watching the movie I decided to hold his hand (he was really super sweet) and after the movie he walked me all the way to the dorm because he didn’t want me to walk alone.

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

Now I don’t actually know how, but he became the most important thing in my life! I finished the Chinese language course, changed many different jobs, and I was always angry I couldn’t find the right place to work. I was underpaid, tired, angry, I couldn’t find the right company to give me a working visa, but he was always there supporting me, comforting me. Right when I decided to give up and go back to Italy for the summer, to give Italy a try and leave China forever, I told him I was coming back to pack all my stuff and move home. I even informed my landlord I was leaving. When I came back to Beijing, at the airport he picked me up and in a super anxious and goofy way he asked me to marry him! Well I didn’t even let him finish, I was so embarrassed everyone was staring at us, well at me, the only foreigner in the airport at that moment, with a Chinese guy holding a huge bunch of roses, going on one knee reaching for something in his pocket I knew he was going to do something stupid. So I just ran away saying let’s go home! Grab a taxi and go home. Well, there I knew he was the one!

What do you love about each other?

From day one I always loved his voice, the way he speaks in Chinese to me and to other people, his way of discussing business, to negotiate, to tell stories to our son now. His voice is like music to my ears. But of course I also love his passion about work, his mind, the way he is with my family and friends. He was more romantic before, now we are so focused on our son we forgot what it is to have a night out or a romantic day at the spa.

I also love his cooking skills! He loves to cook and I love to eat Chinese food, so he’s like my personal chef.

What does he love about me? When I asked him to reply to this question he said “I just love you!”

OK seriously, he loves my independence; from day one he knew I always wanted to be financially independent and not depend on him. He always says he loves my “big round eyes”, and the fact that I’ve never made him feel inferior or not good enough. Not even the times when his salary was very little or when the company didn’t pay him, we were and we still are on the same level. It doesn’t matter how much money we make or how much money we saved in our bank account.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

Falling in love is never easy, it’s even harder in a country where language, culture, and dating is all different from your own. So the best suggestion I can give is to follow your guts, your sixth sense. If you feel it’s right, go for it!

I never trusted social networks to find love or make friends, because sometimes it’s hard to tell what is real and what is not, but I’m thankful when I arrived in Beijing and followed this Chinese girl’s advice and opened a QQ account, because I met Tao, my husband, who gave me a super cute son, Leonardo, who is almost 15 months.

Beijing offers so many opportunities, there are so many different cultures and nationalities here, just be responsible and have lots of FUN!

Photos: Courtesy of Elisabetta Guarnero