We are always saying that jingkids is all about readers, and so it gives us great pleasure to announce our first live event for 2023 – a special get-together for expectant mothers at the newly refurbished Bodhi Therapeutic Retreat on Gongti Road!

The tea time event is an opportunity for us to get in touch with expatriate soon-to-be parents who are currently residing in Beijing, as well as a chance for pregnant moms to meet other expecting moms. We want to hear firsthand how jingkids can better serve the needs of our readers, and we believe it best to create meaningful connections through intimate small-group events.

In collaboration with Bodhi Therapeutic Retreat expat owner Michelle Hemsin, the event offers a 30-minute neck-and-shoulders massage by highly trained masseuses, as well as light refreshments, in a private spa setting where we will be free to chat and mingle. With an 18-year history in the capital city, Bodhi is a popular spa sanctuary among both expats and locals here, with a reputation for its cleanliness and professionalism.

This event will be held on Tue, Feb 28, from 1.30pm onwards, at Bodhi Therapeutic Retreat on Gongti Road. This event is limited to a maximum of ten guests. The special ticket price is RMB 158 and includes a RMB 100 voucher for future use at the spa.

Date: Feb 28 1.30pm
Location: Bodhi Therapeutic Retreat 17 Gongti Bei Lu
Ticket: RMB 158 per pax

Scan the QR code in the poster to secure your spot!

Images: Unsplash, Pexels, True Run Media

Last week a young woman brought Beijing’s busiest subway line to a halt at peak time, because nobody would give up their seat to her, although she said she was pregnant.

The woman sat blocking the doors, preventing the Line 10 train from leaving for several minutes, while staff and police tried to reason with her. She was eventually persuaded to move, and no action was taken against her.

Reports of the incident say that she “claimed” to be pregnant. It’s not clear whether the other passengers disbelieved her claim, or whether they simply buried their heads in their phones and ignored her. The video footage posted appears to show her with a visible bump, but as it’s shot from behind it’s inconclusive.

Perhaps the passengers were right to be wary. In 2013, a woman who had bought a fake silicone “baby bump” so she could get a seat on the subway lodged a complaint with a consumer bureau. She claimed that when she tried to use the bump it fell off, exposing her scam, and that the quality of the goods was unsatisfactory. Her complaint was rejected on the grounds that she had not “used the commodities as a consumer should for daily use,” and she was roundly mocked on social media.

The woman in this case did not get a much more sympathetic response on Weibo. “Being pregnant may not be easy, but it’s nobody’s duty to give up their seat!” was one typical comment. Except it is. The priority seats in every carriage are clearly marked as being for “children, the sick, the elderly and pregnant women.” As with so many rules of the Beijing transport system, this system is not enforced and so is generally ignored.

Nonetheless my personal experience when traveling with my kids is that there is usually somebody prepared to give up their seat for a child. This was a culture shock when we first arrived, as in the UK the traditional expectation is that children stand for an adult (although as with much old-school British courtesy, it’s a convention that’s dying out in an increasingly selfish society). My sons rapidly adapted: the younger will go and stand by the seats with his best cute puppy dog eyes until someone takes pity on him, whereas the older, too big for sympathy, charges onto the carriage like a true Beijinger and would dive into a seat under the descending backside of a slower competitor, until we had a frank discussion about dignity and manners. Both though will give up their seat for a younger child, without prompting.

I’ve noticed too that elderly people will rarely be left standing. Perhaps, in most cases, people don’t give up their seats to expectant mothers because they are scared of the sort of experience which left a friend of mine emotionally scarred for life. Seeing a lady with a prominent bump standing on the London tube, he offered his seat with a smile and a cheery “congratulations, when are you due?”

Her response was, to say the least, frosty.

“I’m not pregnant…”

Photo:Michael Coghlan via Flickr

Nature. We are surrounded by it. We are comforted by products that have this printed on it. We long for it from our cubicles and offices. Yet we often circumvent its obvious “nature,” because we don’t trust or cannot hear what our bodies are saying.

Pregnancy is one of these natural amazing tasks our bodies perform. I’ve been walking around with this little person developing in my belly feeling quite chuffed, like my husband and I did something stupendous. We did, but it’s something that most can do.

The odds of a sperm getting through to an egg, for example (Google it!), but it happens often. Against the odds, we continue to propagate.

Recently, I took part in a prenatal yoga teacher training, and as the most pregnant participant (31 weeks), I was blown away by the physiology of pregnancy and what my body had been doing and will be expected to do when it’s time to give birth.

Often, the birthing process is over-complicated, depending on our cultural beliefs, when the most realistic, holistic approach is allowing the body to naturally do its thing. The myths of pregnancy and childbirth are many, and are regarded as truths, which is weird, considering how common birth is.

A nursing trainer from Fuchan Women’s Hospital in Beijing came to speak with us at the training. She explained the current C-section rate in China’s 46 percent (WHO quotes Beijing at 51 percent). Up significantly from 1970 when it was 5 percent. C-section (paofu chan) in China is considered modern and practical (ta shi). How convenient that the family can choose through careful calculations of fengshui the right day for their baobao to be born. How omniscient to be able to transcend fate.

Likewise, the expecting mother is frightened by everyone’s mention of how painful childbirth is. The family is desperate to help her avoid it. Understandable; we don’t want our loved ones to suffer unnecessarily … but ouch, the word “c-section” really doesn’t really implicate “pain,” but as far as I’m concerned, slicing thru layers of CORE muscles and fascia does not sound like a walk in the park (unless it’s emergent).

In the eyes of Chinese culture, the choice of C-section means everybody wins; the hospital makes more money (2x the price of a vaginal birth), the doctor can schedule a time for the baby to be “born,” the woman gets a “pain-free” birth and the parents get their grandchild on a fortunately chosen day.

By interfering with what’s natural, the baby doesn’t get the vaginal “squeeze” which stimulates the baby’s meridians, lungs, head. The mother is cut right below her core chakra or dantian, which in Chinese medicine messes with the meridians, as well as makes movement very painful (we use our core muscles for A LOT). Depending on the age of the mother, instead of 30-40 days recovery from a natural birth, it can take up to a year to fully heal. Yowch.

It’s not much less in the US at 32 percent (2010). It is sited that physician liability is a main reason (lawsuit culture).

The good news is that Beijing/China is working on cutting their C-section rates down (yes, pun intended) through educating the huge population.

I just wish I could have taken that nursing educator home to visit my in-laws. She didn’t just speak about C-section, but hashed into many Chinese myths.

For example:

• Myth 1: You’re eating for 2. Truth: You are nourishing yourself, and your baby. Eat nutritiously.
• Myth 2: A fatter, bigger baby is better. Truth: The birth canal accommodates to a certain size. Fatter baby = difficult birth.
• Myth 3: Don’t do anything while you’re pregnant. Stop moving. Truth: Appropriate exercise and movement for a pregnant woman is good. By not moving at all, muscle emaciates, and birthing is more difficult.

Myths exist in any culture. After finishing the prenatal yoga training, I know the most important learning for anyone is self-awareness. It’s good to trust that your body really can handle it. Now, we have capable healthcare that can assist in case of emergency. The more tuned into yourself, the easier it is to question recommendations of others. I’ve found that during pregnancy, this is extremely important, as it comes in high frequency and often without invitation!

Photo courtesy of Jess Meider