Each month, we get to know a new Beijing family, asking them their favorite picks on a variety of different themes. This month, we quizzed the Dymling-Broberg family about their favorite films!

Mimmie Dymling and Jonas Broberg met in their native-Sweden, but have only called it home for four of the last 12 years. In fact, they lived in the US for three years, and have been in Beijing for almost four. The happy couple have two girls, Molly (10) and Clara (9), and one son, Dennis (7), all of whom attend the International School of Beijing (ISB). This family of five loves movies, traveling, and adventures, and have relished the opportunities they’ve had to move around and live in diverse countries.

Dennis: The Little Rascals – It’s a funny movie and they do sneaky things. The boys are my age, and I want to be in a gang like that too. My favorite part of the movie is when they compete in the race.

Jonas: Dumb and Dumber – Since my job is formal, it is a great escape to crazy laughs. The movie has great actors such as Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. The movie has some fun things to relate to and lots of fun quotes.

Molly: Nanny McPhee – A movie about a babysitter who does magic to make the kids behave. When she is needed she comes, but when the kids finally learn to behave she leaves. It’s a feel-good movie. My favorite part is when she turns beautiful and the kids don’t want her to leave. There are two movies in the series, and I like them both.

Clara: Moana – I like this movie because it is about a strong and brave girl. I love the music in the movie. It makes me want to dance and sing. It’s also a beautiful movie with lots of water and ocean. I love to swim, snorkel, and be in the water, just like Moana.

Mimmie: Happy Gilmore – I love Adam Sandler and most of his movies. I am a golfer and used to watch this movie before tournaments. It made me relax and mentally prepare for my event. Today it simply makes me laugh, and it’s a cute but silly story.

KEEP READING: The Johannessen-Stokke Family Share Their Beijing Favorites!

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 May issue

Initially, when I set out to write this blog, it was supposed to be about teary-eyed reunions with ayi. I had seen a few messages in WeChat groups from folks who, after spending upwards of two months stranded in far-flung corners of the globe, were over the moon when they were finally able to hug those honorary and integral members of their family.

One person who related a particularly emotional homecoming was UK-native, Tara Gillan, Head of the Early Years Center at Beijing International Bilingual Academy (BIBA). However, after speaking with Gillan about her experience, it became clear that it wasn’t necessarily her and ayi’s reunion in China that tug at the heartstrings, but rather an incident that occurred while they were apart.

The story starts in Zanzibar, where Gillan went for the Lunar New Year holiday with her two boys, 10-year-old Anu and 8-year-old Tobi. What began as a beautiful and relaxing vacation in paradise quickly devolved into confusion and anxiety as COVID-19 swept across China.

Gillan, her father, and two boys

As things continued to develop, and the grip of uncertainty tightened by the day, Gillan remained in constant contact with her ayi via WeChat.

“She is older and we were worried about her,” Gillan tells beijingkids. “She kept checking in with us, as she was worried about us too. Concerned for our safety, she thought it would be better for us to return to China at the end of February.”

Ayi helps Tobi with school work

This was all well and fine at first, however as it became increasingly clear that COVID-19 was here to stay, schools began reassessing the logistics of their Spring semester, and moved towards the ubiquitous online platforms we’re all too familiar with at this point. As the head of BIBA’s Early Years Center and the mother of two students, this meant that Gillan had to figure out how the family could best resume their daily responsibilities.

Unfortunately, seeing as how Beijing is five hours ahead of Zanzibar, this added another layer of complication that Gillan didn’t want to be saddled with as she navigated the dizzying labyrinth of Coronavirus updates. What’s more, the universe seemingly decided to add a proverbial insult to Gillan’s injury when her laptop irrevocably crashed.

So there was Gillan, stuck in Zanzibar with a broken computer, two boys who were about to begin online classes, and a department at BIBA that needed its leader.

Tobi and Anu enjoy a Zanzibar sunset

As she explained the situation to ayi one night, something must have gotten lost in translation, because what ayi understood was that Gillan wanted to return to the UK, but didn’t have the necessary funds to do so. Of course, this wasn’t the case, and Gillan was merely lamenting the fact that she had to get, at the very least, to an area in roughly the same time zone as Beijing, and somewhere that she could get her laptop fixed. After all, for what Zanzibar boasts in beauty and luxury, it all but lacks in computer repair shops.

Nevertheless, no matter the reality of the situation, what ayi heard was a call for help. And much to Gillan’s surprise, she answered that call to the tune of RMB 3,000.

“We were having a WeChat update and we told [ayi] that we would not return to our home country because the time difference for work made it inconvenient,” says Gillan. “She misinterpreted that, thought we were in a difficult situation, and sent me money on Alipay. I sent it back and explained we were fine, but the fact that she was willing to do it left a lump in my throat. That made me cry while I was away, that my ayi is willing to give me her money to help me out while I’m abroad, it’s just crazy!”

The boys anxiously await their return to Beijing

In the end, Gillan landed in Bali where she was able to purchase a new computer and arrange for her and her kids to get their necessary work done. Gillan has since returned to Beijing, and was actually able to coordinate her return with their ayi.

“We gave her notice we would return in the coming weeks, so she quarantined herself and got ready for our return,” explains Gillan. “The fact she could return, and was willing to be ready for our return was extremely humbling.”

As for the reunion itself, “We came home from the airport, the house was clean, food in the fridge, and she had cooked us dinner. We all shed a tear and hugged. She is part of our family, so it felt like a family being reunited.”

Photos: Courtesy of Tara Gillan

Quarantine is getting on our nerves. Being stuck at home 24/7 with the whole family can take a toll on the world’s best parents. A few of Beijing’s parents share their quarantine confessions with us.

Moms, Dads, you’re not alone! We’re all in this together.

My 17 year old son decided to start writing music with my husband to keep themselves entertained. I’ve been supportive, but to be honest, they’re not good. Their “music” makes it impossible to enjoy a bit of silence during quarantine.

I swear my 2-year-old is pooping in the bathtub on purpose just to entertain herself!

My sons are driving my mother and I crazy. Tutoring them is a nightmare. Their teachers ask for photos of the assignments when they’ve been completed, but the boys just want to play on their phones and take breaks. I didn’t think it would be so hard to get them to just sit down and do their schoolwork.

My kids know they’re only supposed to get an hour of iPad time a day. I pretend that I’ve lost track of time just so they can play on their iPads a bit longer and I can enjoy a few more moments of silence.

My daughter is 16-months-old and I am so happy to have this time with her. My husband and I are loving the extra time with her except that now she is picking up our “oops” words used when dropping things or stubbing toes. She intentionally hits her hands or legs on the door or walls and says Sh*t or F*ck!!

If you would like to share your anonymous quarantine confessions, please email your story to editor@beijing-kids.com.

Photo: studyfind.org

Great news for Shunyi families. Hulu by TRB has set up shop at Fella’s and will be cooking up their entire menu available for delivery starting today. Now they’ll be able to deliver all your favorite Hulu dishes to Lauguangying and its surrounding areas. With our without this Coronavirus self-quarantine, this is fantastic news for families in Shunyi who dread the idea of going all the way to Sanlitun just for a bit of culinary variety.

But don’t go looking up Hulu on your favorite food delivery app just yet. For now, you won’t find them on any of the apps. During the COVID-19 period, Hulu is taking extra precautions with your food to make sure that only their staff, whom they’ve been keeping a close eye on, are handling the orders. From preparations, cooking, packaging, and finally delivery, your order never leaves the hands of Hulu staff.

To order Hulu Delivery, contact them through WeChat by scanning the QR code below.

Photos: courtesy of Hulu by TRB

This past year, beijingkids covered all aspects of the expat family life in Beijing, from our School Choice Guide in January to our Giving Back issue in December. As 2019 comes to a close, let’s take a look back at a few of the hot topics from each month.

January

Give Your Teen the Entrepreneurship Edge Before It’s Too Late

Disgruntled School Janitor Injures 20 Pupils in Beijing’s Xicheng District

February

Where to See the Best Light Shows for Lantern Festival

Peppa Pig Live Comes to Beijing

MarchReported Arrests of School Staff Highlight Dangers of Flouting Chinese Law

Beijing Men Do Almost as Much Housework as Women, Study Says

April

Family-Friendly Excursions: 12 Short Hops to Escape the Beijing Hustle

Ranked First in China: Beijing Received a Total of 63 Ivy League Offers

May

Quick-Witted Ayi Saves Boy From Kidnappers in Dongcheng

Raising Third Culture Kids: Where Is Home?

June

Beijing Clamps Down on Profiteering Kindergartens

Put Your Baby in the Driver’s Seat: Luxury Bentley Motors Diapers

July

What I Wish I’d Known Before I Moved to Beijing, Part 1: “You Aren’t Supposed to Flush Toilet Paper!”

Top 9 Places to Buy Souvenirs in Beijing

August

A Weekend Getaway to Guyaju Ancient Cliff Dwellings

All We Need is Love: Messages of Hope for El Paso Teachers and Students

September

Autism Services for Children in China: A Therapist Responds

US Company Produces Brainwave-Monitoring Tech for Chinese Schools

October

啊! The Beijinger Launches Chinese Edition!

One Day Trip to Chengde’s Imperial Mountain Resort

November

YCIS Joins UNICEF for Project Going Blue, Shedding Light on Children’s Rights

“I’m Glad My Baby Died”: A Mom Says Her Miscarriage was a Blessing

December

A Fabulous Holiday Break Awaits Students at YCIS Beijing

Lean Mean Fitness Machine: Fitness Through Pregnancy

Photos: Pixabay, beijingkids

Extramarital affairs – some have them for love, others out of sheer curiosity. Many of us have heard that they are rampant in Beijing, and some have even been directly affected by one. Here’s one perspective you probably never heard before; the perspective of “the other woman”.

“I’m not going home for Christmas or Chinese New Year,” Annie* tells me. “I never do. They don’t care.” Annie is a girl I’ve known for years. She’s an average looking girl from Southern China. She works an average day job and if you see her walking around Sanlitun, you wouldn’t look at her twice, except maybe at her odd fashion choices. Even after numerous cosmetic surgeries, she still describes herself as “below-average looking with an oversized head”.

Annie has a regular day job, but her other “hobby” is that she’s a professional mistress.

Nobody forced her to do it. She enjoys sex and doesn’t care much about whether her boyfriends are married. “I’m not pretty enough to get the hot young guys so I sleep with the older ones.” Say what you will about her, at least she knows her demographics. These guys visit her on a regular basis and shower her with gifts. She dates multiple guys at the same time and none of them seem to care or bother to ask if they’re exclusive.

So why does a girl barely in her 30s choose to sleep with older, unavailable men? Annie admits that she comes from a dysfunctional family. Though she was never physically abused as a child, she grew up with a mom who constantly told her she was ugly and would never amount to anything. Her father passed away when she was young, and she watched her mother’s whirlwind dating life first-hand.

On multiple occasions, my girl friends and I have reminded her that she has no future with these guys. What’s the point? But she doesn’t see it the same way we do. “I’m only going to get older and uglier so why not enjoy it now? I don’t ask them for stuff, they just give them to me, and old guys are good in bed.” Annie’s boyfriends are all middle-aged guys with questionable style, some slightly overweight.

According to Annie, she’s not alone in thinking this way. According to her, there are plenty of young locals capitalizing on their youth through their “hobbies” and insatiable libido with no regards to the havoc they help cause.

Guo Mei Mei

Recently in Chinese social media, China’s most brazen “professional mistress” Guo Mei Mei made a public apology after being released from prison for her illegal gambling rings. “Guo Mei Mei is my idol. I wish I could be like her,” says Annie. At the height of her “career”, Guo charged no less than RMB 100,000 per night for sex. She gained national notoriety back in 2011 when she claimed she worked for The Red Cross on her social media platforms; platforms filled with her lavish vacations, luxury cars, and designer bags.

“Some girls want love, but I just want to capitalize on my youth as much as I can,” Annie tells me. “It’s not like I go out searching for them. Somehow they find me, and if it’s not with me, they’ll find someone else. It’s not my fault they want to cheat.”

While I don’t agree with her lifestyle, I do see her rationale. She has no plans of settling down in Beijing and has already come to terms with the fact that, in her hometown, marriage is still more old-fashioned and based on practicality rather than love, so when she’s ready to move home, she’ll be going back to a loveless marriage that she’s already mentally prepared for, along with a fat bank account.

Source: https://www.smh.com.au/world/guo-meimei-chinas-most-brazen-professional-mistress-confesses-on-tv-20140805-100fp2.html

Photos: unsplash, Shanghaist

Beijing’s international community is smart and cosmopolitan, and we often like to think of ourselves as being above prejudices and old-fashioned ideas about gender and ethnicity. But there’s one aspect in which we resemble a more traditional society: the realm of the “trailing spouse,” those of us who came to China because of our partner’s jobs or careers rather than our own. Almost without exception these are women accompanying their husbands, and the few men who do it are often given the derogatory label of “guy tai” (a play on taitai, the Chinese for wife). As one of those rare exceptions, I decided to find out just how rare I am.

Research turned up no reliable data on what percentage of trailing spouses might be male. One expat blog enthusiastically labeled it “a growing trend”, then produced a single lone example to interview. Another divided us, alarmingly, into “PIPs” and “POPs” (Previously Important People and Previously Ordinary People), but offered no data of any kind to justify its classifications. So I turned instead, as one does for everything in China, to WeChat.

Beijing Dads Group is one of the liveliest WeChat groups in the city, with nearly 400 dads sharing information, jokes, and thoughts on raising kids in the capital. However I was only able to find one other dad who would admit to being a trailing spouse. Based on this unscientific example, it looks like less than half of one percent of international dads came to China for their wife’s work.

“I knew it was for the best to move to Beijing, so I had absolutely no problems with it,” says Rob Hackett. “I’m pretty easy-going, while my wife can be quite intense, so we make a good pair in these kinds of decisions.”

It was not the first time he had moved for his wife’s career.

“I met my wife in 2000, when we were both working at a startup in San Diego,” Hackett tells me. “She was a data scientist and I was a sales engineer.  She had recently graduated with her PhD in Electrical Engineering, and I was studying for the GMAT to go to business school. My wife stuck with the company after its acquisition and was offered a promotion at another company in Orange County, CA. I had just finished business school, so it was a good time to move. I landed a job in the in-flight entertainment industry and have been pretty involved with that through to 2018. My wife left her company in 2014 and started her own business going back and forth to China. Eventually she received funding in 2015 and asked us all to move to Beijing.”

Modern technology means that moving with your partner doesn’t have to mean the end of your own career.

“I left my position in 2016,” Hackett says, “but was able to secure another with an American company to work remotely at home from 2016 to 2018.  They needed me to return to California every summer, so it was a win for everyone. My wife travels five days a week, so I was the primary caretaker from the beginning. My contract expired near the end of 2018, so I have been a full-time stay-at-home dad ever since.”

For me, on the other hand, the move meant giving up a business I had spent three years building from scratch. When I met my wife, she was working in skills development while I managed projects supporting homeless and vulnerable families. We both then made mid-life career changes: my wife retrained as a teacher, while the publication of my first novel allowed me to follow my lifelong dream of making a living as a writer.

I earned my money teaching creative writing in a variety of settings, mentoring aspiring writers and taking on roles such as “writer-in-residence” at an art gallery. It was fulfilling work, and I had finally built enough income streams to make a viable living from it. So why leave it all behind?

The reason was that I was working so hard at being a writer that I had no time for actually writing anything creative myself. So when my wife suggested she look for work in another country, so that our kids could have the experience of living in a different culture for a couple of years, I jumped at the chance.

“It’s like you’ve got a two-year writing retreat,” a novelist friend said enviously.

However, being a “guy tai” was not the easy life I had imagined. Having always worked, I found myself after a few months bored, broke, and seriously considering returning home to England. I was saved by a colleague of my wife’s who was on the Parent Board of beijingkids.

“Isn’t your husband a writer?” she said. “They’re always looking for freelancers.”

Four years later, we are still here, and I am still working for beijingkids.

Hackett too recognizes the important role work plays in maintaining our self-esteem and sanity.

“I really miss the social support structure that full-time work provides,” he tells me. “I belong to a few WeChat groups that really help out in this regard and have a couple of close friends in Beijing that I see regularly. I recently had surgery on my leg and was really nervous about having an operation done in China. The people I know in my WeChat groups really helped to alleviate my anxiety and made everything a whole lot better.”

I ask him how people react when he tells them he’s a stay-at-home dad.

“The responses I get from people vary quite a bit.,” he says. “My boys went to a Chinese bilingual school for the first two years, and I think I was the first dad that ever helped on field trips or in the classrooms. My school friends became the Chinese moms, and they venerated me as some kind of saint. They thought it was great that a dad took an active role, with one of them going so far as to shaming her husband in front of me. I had to come to the poor guy’s defense.”

Not everyone responds as positively though.

“The older (55 plus) Chinese men at the gym love giving me a hard time about it. ‘How’s the boss?’ and ‘Did you join my wife’s flower club yet?’ were some of my favorites. The younger Chinese (under 30) are similar to Americans and Europeans, who are completely indifferent about it. Even the ones who are super curious about American culture just assume it’s ‘what’s best for the family’.  I think it really exemplifies the growth and global understanding that the next generation of Chinese have about the world.”

But his choice is supported by the most important stakeholders of all.

“I asked my boys if they would rather have daddy or mommy at home and they both said ‘daddy’, but I’m pretty sure it’s simply because I have grown to be more patient with them (which wasn’t always the case). I remember asking them when they were younger and my mother-in-law spent a lot of time with them, and their answer was ‘Grandma’.”

I put the question to my kids, to be greeted with bewildered shrugs. They see nothing odd or exceptional about the situation at all.

“When you talk about it with your friends at school, what do they say?” I persisted.

“Dad, do you seriously think we sit around with our friends talking about you and mom and your jobs?” my 13-year-old responded, not unreasonably.

“Well, would you rather have Mom at home than me?” I asked, and this time received a definite “no!”

“At least we get to eat good food with you,” my 10-year-old said.

“Are you saying,” my wife asked with dangerous sweetness, “that I don’t make good food?”

“No, you make great food Mom!” he said, then added quietly, “as long as you like salad.”

Although there is little research into the needs of male trailing spouses, I found a 2010 doctoral thesis by Anne M. Braseby of Florida International University entitled, Adaptation of Trailing Spouses: Does Gender Matter?

“Adjustment is harder for male trailing spouses,” writes Dr. Braseby, “because psychologically they still feel the need to earn money and be a token breadwinner which inhibits them taking on new identities, but easier because they do not need such a strong support system, and they do not feel the guilt of leaving the responsibilities to their families back home.”

Men were less likely to get involved in voluntary work, she found. While women saw it as giving them identity and purpose, men tended to perceive it as “doing menial work for free”. Perhaps most importantly however, she found that men had always made the decision to become a trailing spouse by active choice, whereas women often felt pressured into it by social expectation. So men were better able to create the “new identity” required to survive and thrive as an expat, because they embraced it enthusiastically.

This insight gave me a new perspective on the “expat widow” of myth, often mocked and envied for their leisured lifestyle. I certainly found that idleness leads to frustration and unhappiness; how much worse this would be if you had given up your support networks reluctantly, out of a sense of obligation.

The traditional expat though is usually here for only a few years before returning to their home country; a pattern which is less and less common, as ever fewer foreigners come to Beijing on postings from big corporations. I asked Hackett what the future held for his family.

“We have had a few discussions about the future,” he said. “I definitely want to go back to work, as I am slowly exhausting the accomplishments of my hobbies and desires. The debate will be, do I work in China or do I work in the US? Mommy has a very important role with the kids, but at the same time her parents would like to see them more often, and the kids want to visit their friends in America. No matter where I work, someone is going to have to make some sacrifices.”

For my family, we have decided that this will be our last year in China. Having come for two years and stayed for five, we will be ready for a change by next summer. However we are not keen to return to Brexit Britain, a country racked by anxiety and division. Instead we’re going to look for a new adventure somewhere else in the world. I worry of course about what I’ll do when we get there; sitting around getting bored is not an option, and I may not be lucky enough to find an employer as good as beijingkids has been. Whatever the future holds though, I will be entering into it as a matter of choice not compulsion, ready to adapt and make the best of it… Not trailing, but striding.

This article appeared in the beijingkids November 2019 Beijing Baba issue

Families are funny things. Sometimes loving, sometimes raging… we spend more time with each other than with anyone else, but we don’t get to choose our family members. (As parents we might make the decision to have children, but we don’t get any say in their personalities.) All families have their own traditions and rituals. And for those who move to the other side of the world, away from extended family and forced closer together, exposed daily to a different language and culture, that private vocabulary can be richer and stranger. These are a few of the words which my family have invented or adopted during our time in China.

Clamoring (n.)

We are indebted for this word to the Citic Hotel Beijing Airport, or more specifically its fabulous swimming pool, where there is a sign solemnly forbidding “body rubbing” and “clamoring”. Fortunately my boys are still too young for body rubbing to be an issue, but clamoring is a daily problem: the pointless, needless shouting, squawking, and shrieking which comes from having more than one child around. And of course, the worst thing about clamoring is that it can lead to shenanigans.

Example: “If you don’t stop that clamoring, there’ll be no ice cream after dinner!”

Obsquacious (adj.)

This word derives from an enthusiastic but ill-aimed attempt to pronounce the word “obsequious”. However, it now refers to any obnoxious behavior caused by the outcome of a game; either crowing about a victory, or sulking about a defeat.

Example: “It’s only ping pong, stop being so obsquacious.”

Stwnco (interjection)

The “w” is pronounced as a sort of “u” sound like in Welsh. This is an acronym which I recommend to all parents with more than one child: Sometimes The Wrong Name Comes Out.

Example:
“Noah, stop doing that.”
“Why are you telling me off I didn’t do anything I wasn’t even in the room that’s so unfair – ”
“Stwnco! Stwnco! … Joseph, stop doing that.”

Not seeing the lunchbox (phrase)

This came from a friend of mine who went to Hollywood to pitch his children’s book as an animated movie, to baffled boardrooms of money men. One said “I’m not seeing the lunchbox”, meaning he couldn’t visualize the merchandise and Happy Meal toys which would make the movie profitable. For us it’s used when someone proposes something and you can’t see what’s in it for you. (See also “I’m good thanks.”

Example:
“This afternoon, shall we go to the Watermelon Museum?”
“I’m not seeing the lunchbox.”

Doof (n., vb.)

A doof is a mistake, or incorrect statement. This comes not from “doofus” but from the noise made on the BBC quiz show Pointless when a contestant gets a wrong answer. Can also be a verb.

Example:
“He said Sydney is the capital of Australia. That’s a doof.”

Seeing a man about a horse (phrase)

We picked this up in Mongolia, where it’s a wonderful euphemism for doing a number one. The equivalent for a number two is “killing a bear.”

Example:
“I’m going to the toilet.”
“Are you seeing a man about a horse, or killing a bear?”

Maozedonging (vb.)

We play a lot of board games, and this word is particularly useful in this context. It refers to those times when you form an alliance of convenience against a mutual enemy, but then let your ally do most of the work while you build up your forces for the moment when you turn on each other.

Example:

“Let’s gang up and beat Dad.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to go for him too. No maozedonging.”

Moochy

This marvellously flexible sound can mean almost anything, based on context and tone of voice. In this it is very much like Chinese.

Example:
“Did you moochy the moochy?”
“No.”
“Moooooochyyyyyy….”

Does your family have your own invented or adopted language? Tell us in the comments below!

Photo: Pixabay

I always think that fathers and their sons share a mysterious, almost psychic link. So when I noticed that Joseph was sitting at the restaurant table with his head buried in his hands, sobbing noisily, I immediately guessed something was wrong.

When I was able to get sense out of him, I learned that the cause of his distress was the fish and other sea creatures in tanks all around the restaurant, waiting to be eaten. Why this had suddenly become an issue for him after three years in China was less clear; one too many episodes of Blue Planet, perhaps.

He refused to touch the shrimp, picking instead at the peanuts, and eventually went and stood outside, staring thoughtfully into the distance. When he came back he announced:

“I’m going to be a vegetarian.”

In some ways this came as no surprise. Joseph has always loved animals, and is a young man of deep thoughts and strong emotions. So we talked a bit about why he’d come to this decision and what it would involve, and agreed to support him in his choice.

For me, as the family shopper and cook, it’s meant a major rethink of our diet. Like most people who cook for a family, I have a repertoire of mid-week meals, and nearly all of them contained meat. Having had to change up the menu when we first came to China, and again after moving cities, I have had to learn some new recipes, and use some new ingredients.

Bringing up a vegetarian in China is in some ways harder than in the west, and in some ways easier. There isn’t the range of meat substitutes you can pick off the shelves of supermarkets, but there is at least a long history of vegetarianism, thanks to Buddhism. (Traditional British views on vegetarianism are best summed up by the old granny in a comedy show who, when she was told that her granddaughter didn’t want ham because she was veggie, said “Couldn’t you just slice it really thin?”)

The plan nearly came off the rails the next time we visited a western restaurant, and he was disappointed at the range of meat-free options. I made it very clear that if he was expecting us all to change our lifestyles to accommodate him, then he needed to be consistent. It was fine if he’d changed his mind, but not to chop and change according to whim. He took it well, and ordered a cheese pizza.

Whether this will last remains to be seen. 9 years old is young to make such a big decision. But it’s changed our eating habits for good. Through experimentation, I’ve learned to make a range of beanburgers and nut roasts, and nobody is really missing meat, except as an occasional treat. We feel better for it, and the money that used to go on rubbery chicken is now spent on delicious cheeses. It turns out that meat in every meal was more of a habit than a need, or even a pleasure. So whatever happens, we’ve learned from the experience.