Countless people dream of becoming a star. What’s more, in the age of social media stardom and seemingly overnight viral fame, the dream of being “discovered” and making it onto the big screen is, for the first time, both infinitely far and just within reach.

For parents, this dream can be terrifying. The film and theater industries are notorious for breeding starving artists, and that’s if you break into the industry. To pursue stardom seems to mean a life of waiting tables while waiting on callbacks from the last audition. So the question stands: What does it really take to be a star?

Qin Hanlei is the embodiment of an aspiring actor’s dream realized. From movies to TV shows and internet dramas, the young actor who used to reenact scenes from Liu DeHua movies in his bedroom is now bringing his own characters to life on screen.

Some of the many films and shows Qin has acted in include《非正式爱情 Informal Love》，《爱情狂想曲》，《三十那年 Thirty Years Ago》，《假装不正经》，《民警的诺言》 ，《爱爱囧事 Love Story》，《雨城故事 To Rain City With Love》，《青春期1、2、3 The Age of Puberty 1,2,3 》(which got over 20 billion views)、《上位》、《女人公敌 Women’s Enemy》.

But the path to stardom never comes without its challenges. Qin says his mother cried when he told her he wanted to be an actor. She worried for him, and not without reason. But Qin wasn’t going to give up. With the unwavering support and encouragement of his father, Qin began taking acting classes and soon graduated from 中国传媒大学 (Communication University of China) and began his acting career. Today, he’s starred in dozens of films and TV shows, and his mother secretly watches all his performances.

Now, however, Qin has a young daughter of his own. I asked him if he’d support her if she one day decided to follow his path and also pursue a career in acting.

Much to my surprise, however, the answer was a resounding “no.” Qin says he’s seen firsthand how harsh the industry can be, and he’s not wrong.

In China, many people still regard acting as a career path chosen by those who don’t do well in school, and everyone knows how difficult the job market can be. Qin says the hardest thing about the acting industry is its 内眷 Nèijuàn, directly translated to “inside-turning.” Neijuan refers to the endless cycle in which, no matter how hard you work, there will always be people working harder, often without sleep or food, forcing you to also push yourself past the limit just for the slimmest possibility of an advantage. Qin and his colleagues say acting is an industry where it feels like there are more actors than viewers, with few available roles and a seemingly endless ocean of people wanting to make it.

Furthermore, acting is considered 青春饭, qīngchūnfàn, a phrase that literally translates to “youth food.” But Qin believes that acting isn’t necessarily a career that starts and ends in your youth. When you’re young, there are roles for young people. When you’re old, there will be roles for old people. Simply put, if you’re good enough, you can act your whole life. Having said that, Qin adds that aspiring actors should focus on studying and have something to fall back on in case acting doesn’t work out.

It’s important to acknowledge the difficulties that come with pursuing acting. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Qin has these tips for aspiring actors to help them do just that.

Passion, passion, passion

Qin’s number one key to success is passion. In a career as difficult as acting, it’s critical that aspirants are willing to push through any hardships along the way. Qin says there were many times in his career that he’d go hungry, but every time he chose to stay in the game, explaining “Acting was like a child to me. I just couldn’t give it up.”

Looking back, Qin realizes he truly loves acting. No matter how grim things look, he says, if you stick it out and truly love what you are doing, you’ll eventually start landing roles and realizing how much you’ve learned.

Patience

There’s a saying among those in the profession that actors spend most of their lives waiting. From waiting for auditions to callbacks to facing rejections, aspiring actors must have the patience and faith to wait and, perhaps more importantly, persevere. Even as a successful actor, Qin says he still spends half the day waiting on set for some big star to finish shooting before he even steps on stage.

Have an open mind towards self-improvement

Like any other career path, Qin says you must always be willing to learn more. The worst thing an aspiring actor can do is become lazy and adapt a mindset of how you “should” perform. Qin urges young actors to watch other performances and always push themselves to improve.

Qin tells me of a time when he was denied a role before he even auditioned. The reason? Not because he wasn’t good enough, but because he didn’t “look” the part. This is the sad truth about the industry. You can have all the patience and passion in the world and still be rejected for things beyond your control.

But Qin says that blow inspired him to push himself to learn more. He says he woke up at 6am every day and read the book《演员的自我修养》more than 20 times. Qin says he knew he may not be as experienced or as good looking as some people in the audition room, but his ability to learn and his constant thirst for knowledge gave him confidence. He took that confidence to the audition room, using it to land roles.

Behind the shiny facade of fame, acting is no walk in the park. Many spend their entire lives waiting to be discovered. But it’s not impossible. Qin is living proof that it can be done. And once you have these three things, you’re already halfway to success.

KEEP READING: What the Tutoring Ban Really Means for Kids, Parents, and Educators

Photo credits: Qin Hanlei 

When I embarked on the journey towards fatherhood in Beijing, I had no idea what to expect. Not only was there the anxiety of doing this in a place like Beijing, although I had already been here for three years, but also rearing a child in these uncertain times. While this pretty much ruled out the option of moving back stateside, my wife and I were content with our lives in China’s capital.

At the time, I was the Nightlife and Culture editor for the Beijinger, a DJ on the weekends, a moderately successful voice actor for films and TV, and I loved that I was able to mix all of these different careers and side-hustles and start saving some money. I was fairly certain I would be in Beijing for the rest of my life and that I could create a comfy environment for my family and myself in this city over time through continued learning and working my butt off.

After the birth of my son Victor, I became the Managing Editor of beijingkids. It was through my work here that I learned that Beijing is actually a great place to raise kids. It’s safe in comparison to many other cities around the world, and at-home childcare is relatively cheap. Moms are also given a generous maternity leave, while dads are also entitled to a paternity leave to help out during the week or sometimes weeks after the baby comes. This is miles ahead of what you would find in America, where we are usually immediately back to work following a birth, but still behind areas of Scandinavia where equality between the sexes is considered more comprehensively.

But, like most countries with a booming economy and a rising cost of living, work commitments can often take control. This ability for me to pile on work, while good in many respects as we needed the money, also became problematic. It meant longer working hours. It meant always being at the beck and call of the whims of multiple employers. But with the desire to send my child to an international school on the horizon, no opportunity could be ignored. All of these things result in a considerable amount of stress for many parents living in the capital.

A Beijing survey office of the National Bureau of Statistics revealed in March, 2019 that the average working day for Beijingers was about 8.6 hours, just above 42 hours per week. The average of China as a whole sits at around 44.7 hours per week according to the China Labour Dynamics Survey, published by Sun Yat Send University. That puts China at the top of a long list of countries based on data compiled from Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), just above Mexico, Costa Rica, and South Korea.

As an added note, and not to throw any shade, Germany ranked last on the OECD list with 26 hours per week, but for good reason. There are initiatives being created in the country to allow millions of Germans to have 28 hour work weeks to spend more time with their families.

This sort of work/parenting balance is something that has been troubling me considerably lately. I would often wake up around 5.30 am, do some work before breakfast, shower up and walk to work, do part-time gigs during lunch, and get home at 7pm. Tired and mangled by the stresses of the day, copy deadlines, and monotonous tasks, I would arrive home a zombie. I could only eat dinner and maybe entertain my son for a couple of hours before putting him to bed and usually passing out in the process. All the while, the weekends were normally spent voice acting or DJing at night, and only occasionally recuperating from the intense workload I had allowed myself to take on Monday through Friday.   

My wife was also working a full-time job with abnormal hours; sometimes during the day, sometimes at night, and almost always on the weekends. We were only completely together as a family a couple of waking hours every week. At some points I convinced myself that this was only temporary, and that I would one day find “one job” that would cover all of our needs. But we soon came to realize that this was a gamble and would likely never fully cover the growing costs that Beijing continues to demand.

Something that’s often unspoken but widely known among expats in Beijing is that unless you are a foreigner with some sort of relocation package, living a normal life with the same advantages you were given as a child is pretty difficult. However, it is by no means impossible. So we continued to hope for a change.

All the while, so much about my job with this magazine was learning about what it means to be an effective parent, but I constantly lacked the time to implement anything in my own home. I knew this wasn’t going to change, especially when my son started preschool with a monthly tuition of around RMB 11,000.

Some call it burnout. But it was also something more. I was feeling guilty about not being able to put into practice all of the parenting tools I had accumulated; guilty about relying so much on hired help to do a satisfactory job of watching over my child throughout these early years. Being on the phone replying to messages late into the night was not the example I wanted to set for my son.

I want to play an integral role in my son’s development into an empathetic, intelligent, and, most importantly, happy child. I want to help him understand the world we are living in and give him the tools necessary to thrive. This won’t happen if I’m unable to balance work with life, and while I’m well aware that I’m not the only father in Beijing or the rest of the world going through this at the moment, it was a major factor regarding why my wife and I decided to hit the restart button and leave Beijing for a place that is more affordable.

We all know the tired cliché that dads belong at work, but I can no longer neglect the fact that my son needs me. He needs me to help him navigate this complicated and sometimes scary world we are living in. How else is he going to learn about what it means to be a man, or, more importantly a decent human being? So many of the pitfalls regarding toxic masculinity seem to stem from these developmental years and a lack of positive guidance. Even as an adult, this is something I’m still learning about and trying to reprogram about myself. As dads we need to understand how essential we are to our children, and that no amount of money can buy back the time we lose by not maintaining a proper balance to prepare them for whatever the future might bring.

While this will be an emotional departure for me and my family, Beijing will forever be a part of our identity. This city and the experiences I’ve gained here have taught me that being a good dad isn’t about working yourself to death to provide. It’s more important to be present and a willing participant in overcoming all of the challenges that family life may bring.

This article appeared in the beijingkids November 2019 Beijing Baba issue

More than 85 million people in China identify themselves as living with disabilities, according to the 2010 National Sample Survey on Disability. Only 1 percent have received higher education, as opposed to 40 percent for non-disabled Chinese. As of 2017, there were 12.6 million visually impaired people in China. The majority of them become blind masseurs, fortune tellers, or performers to beg for money due to the limited education available or the acceptance of their “fate”.

However, there are still some who have broken the stereotype and fight for their dreams and Cai Cong is definitely one of the most famous in Beijing. From the idea that “Not every blind person should be a masseur”, he participated in a disabled video advertisement during the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games.

He started a new career an IT software tester two years after his Olympic appearance, and has shown no signs of stopping since. In 2013, Cai founded Someone Magazine under the One Plus One Group for Disability community and became one of the most acclaimed guests of the popular talk show in China, Qipa Show (qípā shuō, 奇葩说). Now, Cai helps other visually impaired people find more paths and opportunities in life.

His outstanding endeavors have been featured in mainstream media. This time, he shared his stories with beijingkids for some different angles on his career and his parenthood experiences.

Beijingkids: What motivated you to start Someone Magazine?
Cai Cong (CC): We hope to create a platform to let disabled people share their opinions, resolve misunderstandings,  and enlighten the consciousness of the rights of the disabled. We want to have a magazine that features stories from the perspective of disabled people. Before we focused more on the audio channel for the visual impaired, we still have it now. But it’s not enough, we also want to let people that aren’t disabled know how we live, in an in-depth idea instead of imagining it. Like many blind people, they don’t want to go out because society doesn’t really understand how we live, it’s still an invisible group here. Lack of confidence to go out for most visually impaired people is a big problem. But if people treat us normally, it will be better.

Former US First Lady Michelle Obama took a picture with Cai Cong and others during the visit to China

What’s the relationship between Someone Magazine and One Plus One (OPO) Group for Disability community? What do you provide on OPO?
CC: OPO gave birth to Someone Magazine. OPO tries to prove that disabled persons are not “good-for-nothing” but rather have creativity and value. In the past decade, OPO has blazed a pioneering path, created a precedent for development of Chinese DPOs, echoed with China’s alignment with the international community in terms of disability affairs, and propelled gradual change in the environment for disabled people in China. We offer several ways to help the disabled: a public education center, PWD service center, media production center, Disabled persons’ organizations (DPO) development support, and a social enterprise development center.

Disability and Sustainability Development Forum

Are there any specific stories about these centers that assist disabled people?
CC: Actually there are a lot of stories, especially those who have specific skills in IT, or even in law, they want to do more things. For example, in our group, we’ve supported a guy with a dream to be a lawyer. Jin Xi was the first blind person in China to undertake a law degree at a regular university, after which he obtained his Master’s degree in Law. Since graduating in 2016 he has interned and worked at a law firm, thus becoming the first fully qualified blind lawyer of China. He is currently pursuing his PhD in the Soo Chow University Taiwan. He has represented various people with disabilities and intends to promote rights for People with Disabilities. Another example is that we have suggested to the government to set related policies that will allow blind people to take the Gaokao (China’s college entrance examination). In addition, we collaborated with Renmin University Law School and Harvard Law School to further protect the rights and interests of the disabled. Some ways they did so was by establishing the first legal clinic for the disabled in China, and created a forum for disabled people’s rights and protection.

Cai Cong with his family

How have you addressed some of society’s questions regarding your ability to be a father?
CC: Before we planned to have children, my wife and I were questioned by the people around us. We are both visually impaired so people were worried that our children would inherit the disability from us. They felt that even if the child was born with normal vision, he or she would face considerable social prejudice. We discussed this topic extensively and reviewed the philosophical and psychological implications of either choice. In the end, we still decided to have a child. There are all kinds of problems in life, why should being visually impaired be the biggest problem? It all depends on one’s attitude. Children think they are normal until people keep telling them that they aren’t because they can’t see, they are pathetic. So, as a dad, I will just encourage my daughter to strive for her dream no matter what.

See more of our coverage on disability and inclusion here.

Photo: courtesy of Cai Cong, cover picture by qq.com

Tavey Lean and The Solid Gold Dream Machine have been churning out the infectious sounds of funk, soul, and Motown to the Beijing masses since 2012. Riding on good vibes, copious amounts of groove and bass, and a badass horn section, the eight-strong band, made up of Tavey Lin on the mic, Will K Bonnah on the drums, Daniel Rothwell on the trombone, Itay Kochva on the saxophone, Bruno Lucas on the keyboard, Sammy Boy on the guitar, Ryan Brown on Bass, and RC Granger on the trumpet, have a new EP coming out, included as part of a split cassette with the Rock ‘n’ Roll Beach Boys of Beijing, Boss Cuts, this Friday April 19 at DDC.

However, a brand new EP is not the only thing that’s about to drop. The band are made up of hedonistic singletons, cool dads and dads-to-be, negotiating their way through life, music, and fatherhood in the Jing. The Solid Gold Dream Machine will soon be welcoming in a new addition to their Kids of Golden Dads Club.

Beijingkids caught up with the dads and dads-to-be of the band to find out exactly how they keep the dream alive, the machine well oiled, and fully prepared for the launch of their new EP, with fatherhood and impending fatherhood a top priority for them and their families.

How long have you been a member of the band?

Itay: Since the beginning, in 2012. I’m one of only three band members who got to play with all 18 current and past band members we have had over the years.

Will: Just over a year now. I used to play in a jazz band back in the UK. Through a friend’s recommendation I was able to audition to play the drums for the band, when they were looking for a new drummer when their old one relocated to Shanghai. The guys saw my passion and the rest is history.

RC: I’ve been a member of the band since the beginning. I met Tavey in Lush in Wudaokou. It was mid-September 2012, I had just changed jobs, and he said he was looking for people for his band. I had brought my trumpet with me from the states, but hadn’t played in a long time. Felt like the right time to start again.

How do you (intend to) balance fatherhood with your music?

Itay: I have an amazing wife who supports my decision to keep making music with this band. I couldn’t have done it without her help. Every Monday night for the past seven plus years has been a Solid Gold practice night. Even when everyone was watching Game of Thrones on Monday, she’d wait to watch on Tuesday together. That’s true love right there. I also try to limit the amount of shows we play to two per month, so we can balance family activities and have enough opportunities to make plans for the entire weekend without me being too tired to play with the kids.

Will: I’m fortunate to have a very supportive and encouraging wife, who not only wrote this article but also encouraged me to follow my passion for music as a hobby. My schedule is pretty hectic but for the love of playing music and having a ball with this bunch of talented musicians, I find a way to make it work.

RC: Well, the good news is that out of all the things I do, music actually requires the least amount of time invested from me. Balancing fatherhood with my music hopefully won’t be too challenging to start. We’ll see how that has to change, as the kid gets older.

How would you describe the sound of your band? What/who is your inspiration?

Itay: If I had to choose two words to describe our sound, it would be Big and Fun. The band’s sound is a projection of our collective personality and feelings. We can play smooth and classy, we can go loud and dirty, but what we really want is to have fun on stage, and get the audience to participate in that fun feeling. The way we formed the band is at its core; we are just friends having fun together.

Will: I would describe it as a fusion of funk and soul; basically the type that forces you to shake a leg. I think music should move you – not just physically, but it’s also a heart thing. You should be able to feel the energy and good vibes.

RC: I’ve always found questions like this challenging. My training is in jazz, so some of our songs I hear for the first time as we work on them. Others are obviously more iconic, but my general lack of knowledge when it comes to soul music makes it challenging for me to have an inspiration outside the band. As for our sound – well, we play fun, danceable, funk ‘n’ soul.

How old is/are your kid(s)?

Itay: My son is almost 5, and my daughter is almost 2 years old. My son has been coming with me to Saturday afternoon sound checks for the past three years. He loves it!

Will: I’ve had nine months of joy with my new baby boy, Lux.

RC: My son is about a month from being born. 

How does your partner/wife feel about you being in the coolest band in town?

Itay: My wife is happy for me to have something like this. She’s super supportive. As I said before, I couldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for her.

Will: My wife is very proud. Especially when random strangers come up to me in Great Leap Brewery (GLB), our local, and say: “hey you’re from SG, saw you guys last night. You guys are amazing”. This has happened several times whiles out for a Sunday afternoon beer with my family – and milk for my baby!

RC: I don’t know that Nassau cares how cool we are, ha! She likes that I like it, and she likes that I can make money doing something I love, but she usually can’t make it out to our shows.

What are your hopes for the band and family life in the future?

Itay: Growth. Not the physical growth of kids or growth in number of band members of course, but the more mental type of growth. For the band, this EP release is an important step in our growth – we’ve defined our own voice over the years while covering other people’s music in our own way, and now we’re using this voice to tell our own stories. For my family, it’s kind of the same thing – we all want our kids to find their voice, define who they are, and use that voice to go into the world and use it.

Will: Continue spreading our good vibes to the city of Beijing and who knows where else. I want to be able to inspire my son to have the confidence to go after the things that he loves and have boldness to dream big. My family is everything and we are on this adventure of a journey together, we hope to travel more, laugh more, and discover more.

RC: Band hopes: more original work. The way we’ve developed a lot of these songs has been somewhat organic. Ideas brought in by band members that other members have added to. I’m looking forward to more sessions like that. As for family hopes, well, I hope for the usual – health and happiness, but I’m really looking forward to when my kid can walk and when my kid can talk. I love teaching, so hopefully this will be an experience that’s good for all of us.

Why have you guys decided to drop an EP now and can you tell us a little about your collaboration with Boss Cuts?

Itay: The idea for an EP or an album was brewing for a long while, but for many different reasons never materialized. I think that as a band, we got to a point where we feel good about how we sound and how we want to use that sound. During the summer of 2018 we heard that Boss Cuts are in a similar situation and were looking for an EP partner. We like Boss Cuts, and their music is different than ours, so it felt right to join forces. This couldn’t have happened without the continuous efforts of Daniel Rothwell, our trombone player.

Will: And because too many fans have been asking for it. It’s of course an obvious creative decision to take as a band I guess. We have new and awesome material to share with everyone and the time is always now.

RC: Why NOT an EP now? We’ve been sitting on a couple of these songs for years. Others have been created more recently. High time we get them out there.

You’ve been creating a lot of original music lately and one of your hits with fans has been “Actual Baby” – what was the inspiration behind the track?

Itay: Tavey, our singer, wrote the words for this song. He’s a great storyteller, and I think that he wanted to make a point about how the word Baby is over used in modern music.

Will: Our lead singer is a great songwriter and a great lyricist with an interesting sense of humor. Ha!

RC: You’d have to ask Tavey – it was his song idea originally. He brought it to us, and we adapted it to what we do.

Is this one for the parents out there? And seeing as this track features an actual baby, will all the fathers in the band look to have their baby’s voice sampled on other tracks in the future?

Itay: If there’s a toddler/kids sequel, I’ll get my kids involved, I’m sure they’d love it.

Will: Well, my baby is the one who features on “Actual Baby”, so I guess I’m done. Makes me so proud. The whole 2.5 seconds of it.

RC: I’d love to have my son feature on something somewhere ha! I think it’s something he’d be entertained by when he was older. But who knows?

What can audiences expect at the release show?

Itay: A really fun night with good music from two very different bands, in one of Beijing’s coolest spots. We’ll be there to play and hang out with everyone, so if you’re looking for a chance to have a drink and chat with us, that’d be it.

Will: You can expect to sweat on the night and have aching bones in the morning. Our music will make you move parts you didn’t even know you could move.

RC: The release show will have our signature sound and vibe, combined with Boss Cuts and their tunes. It’s going to be very fun, I think. Also bring a bit of extra cash, as there’ll be a few things for purchase that may not be around forever.

How can newbies and fans of Solid Gold follow you and keep up to date with where you will be performing?

Itay: We post regularly in our band’s WeChat account (search for SolidGold) about our gigs and other interesting events we want to support around town. If you’re one of those who still haven’t given up on Facebook, you can find us there as well. We also run a smaller, close-knit Solid Gold community WeChat group chat, where we share more “behind the scenes” videos and banter.

Will: Yeah, follow us on WeChat and of course buy the EP!

RC: We’ve got an official WeChat account, as well as a group chat for those who want to more directly interact with band members. That info will be readily available at the show.

Do you have any advice for dads out there who are also following a passion of theirs?

Itay: Guys, this is important so pay attention – Happy wife, happy life. It’s all about balance. If your partner supports you, you can go out there and follow your passion. It can’t survive if you’re forcing your family to adapt to something that you’re the only one who gets to have fun from at their expense. So go find that thing that you’re passionate about, and find a way to make it work for you and for your family.

Will: No better time than now. Go for it.

RC: I don’t have any advice yet, though I’ll take some if anyone has any, ha. I’ll have advice in about a year.

Do you have any closing comments?

Itay: Solid Gold is special to me. We work hard on making it the band what it is, putting in the time and effort, and we do it because we’re friends and want to have fun and create new things in this city. I’m sure this EP is the first of many great things to come.

Will: I’m truly blessed to be a part of this talented group of musicians and to have the opportunity to use my skills. Whatever talent you’re given, don’t bury it, use it and increase it.

RC: Just to pursue passions with love and integrity, and try not to forget why you love something in the first place.

Go check out Tavey Lean and The Solid Gold Dream Machine at their EP launch party. Scan the QR code below to check out their new single and request to follow them by adding we chat: WilliamBonnah, to keep up to date with gigs, events, and more. Adults. RMB 50 (advance tickets) RMB 60 (on the door). Dusk Dawn Club, 14 Shanlao Hutong, Dongcheng District. 东城区山老胡同14号

Photos: Courtesy of Tavey Lean and The Solid Gold Dream Machine