They made it – after 12 years of formal schooling; or 2,160 days at the modest approximation of 180 school days per annum – they graduated high school. The end of high school is a major milestone for kids. For one thing, they’re legally recognized as young adults now. And for most, it’s the first time that they will leave the protective nest of their parents’ home and venture out into the world on their own. 

So what can we gift to our children to celebrate this achievement and maybe also prepare them for what lies ahead? Before I set off to interview Beijing’s international student community and get answers, my guess would have been a car or a new tech device, but after speaking with graduating students and parents of former graduates, I discovered I was wrong. 

In addition to a poll conducted across our online readers, we distilled the following top five gifts that graduates these days would appreciate. 

Money

This comes as no surprise. Money is freedom. Money allows the user to spend it however they see fit. But how much money would be considered appropriate to gift to a newly independent fresh graduate out of high school? Most respondents indicated “Between RMB 3,000-RMB 5,000” if it was just a cash gift and nothing else. But 20% of respondents said that money was best as a supplement to another gift, and in that case, the appropriate amount would be “Between RMB 1,000-RMB 2,000” depending on the value of the other gift. 

Personalized gifts

This covers a broad range of gifts. One parent gave her son a white platinum necklace so that “he would always have something of me close to his heart,” while another consented to spend RMB 10,000 on a name-brand folding scooter that her son had requested. The idea is that it is something special only you and your child might know that they need/want. A great gift idea for travel would be monogrammed suitcases that would also signify to your child your eagerness for them to see the world and make their mark upon it.

A fully paid-for vacation

What better way to get away from school, exams, and all that, than to escape into a different world? Be it the tropical beach paradises of Thailand, or the ski slopes of Japan, a fully paid-for vacation is a great way to celebrate our children’s accomplishments and let them take a break before they have to hit the books again in college. However, hold off on buying your own ticket because the graduates we interviewed said they wanted this gift contingent on their parents not joining them, but having their friends instead. Whether this makes you sad or happy depends on you, but if that’s the vacation you’re paying for, be sure to remind them that additional charges on the hotel room mini bar are their own to bear! 

A big, celebratory meal

It’s just part of the human experience to celebrate important occasions with food, and this is no exception. As part of honoring their growth, let the fresh graduate decide on the restaurant and just go with it! Some popular recommendations we received were Iberico by TRB, Pebbles, and Jumbo Seafood Restaurant. For more Beijing recommendations, check out our interview with soon-to-be restaurateur and BCIS alumnus Michael Sun (p 45). 

No gifts necessary

Can not gifting be considered a gift? Apparently so! Some fresh graduates we spoke to said that they didn’t need anything from their parents because “they’ve already given me so much and I couldn’t have done it without them.” Ah, it looks like they’re finally growing up… 

Other gift ideas that didn’t make the cut to the top five included new tech devices like the latest mobile phones, tablets, or laptops and also a car. The reason these didn’t rank high enough is that the former items were too pragmatic and not special enough, while the latter was not feasible for most kids who were moving to another country to go to college. 

Images: Pexels

This article appeared in the jingkids 2023 Graduation Issue

Y’all had probably seen people visiting their loved ones in the hospital carrying a basket of fruits before. The basket probably has various fruits ranging from oranges to dragonfruits, but no pears are to be seen. What’s wrong with pears? They’re delicious! But, when it comes to gifting, China has certain boundaries that should never be crossed. Some items simply can’t be gifted according to ancient Chinese culture and tradition.

Here’s a quick guide to gifting no-no’s in China. Avoid these seven items!

These items are considered taboos in China for various reasons. Of the seven, four items are because their Chinese pronunciation is too similar of other words with opposing meanings and negative connotations as shown below in the graph – which pretty much explains why they don’t make a good present.

Items/action	In Chinese character form	Pronunciation	Character(s) with the same pronunciation	Meaning of the character(s) with the same pronunciation
Gifting a Clock	送钟	Song zhong	送终	Sending someone to their end.
Shoes	鞋	Xie	邪	Evil (often associated with bad fortune)
Umbrella	伞	San	散	Scatter, become loose, disperse
Pear fruit	梨	Li	离	Leave

The other three items on the list carry second meanings. If you choose to gift them, the receiver may get the wrong idea.

Item	Double meaning
Fishtank	“水即是财，水能生财“ (“shuǐ jí shì cái ， shuǐ néng shēng cái“). In China, water is associated with life and wealth, therefore, water and fishtanks resemble gaining wealth.
Wallet	In ancient China, wallets were given as a love token. Because of this, many people associate wallets with love.
Pillow	“同枕共眠“ (tóng zhěn gòng mián) Only people in a loving relationship will share the same pillow. At the same time, there’s the saying “高枕无忧“ (gāo zhěn wú yōu), the thicker your pillow, the smoother your emotions and life.

Okay! We should now be familiar with what items should not be gifted in china, but what will happen if you did? Do these rules still apply in the modern era? Do people in Beijing still care about them?

To answer the questions presented above, I interviewed different people.

Were you given any of the seven items as a gift throughout your time in China?

William Triska (Art director at JPED Academy) says: “Yes! when I signed up for my MBA program, my university in China gifted me a really nice pillow.”

Have you given any of the seven items to someone else in China?

Nina Wang (College Counselor at JPED Academy) says: “I’ve given people wallets and shoes before, and I’ve never heard about most items on the list being perceived as “rude“. However, I do believe that gifting clocks and pears will be considered to be offensive by most Chinese people”

Traditional rules about gifts can be confusing, but to most people in Beijing, it’s not a big deal. Even though most people had forgotten about these traditions as time moves on, we should still think twice before giving out these items as presents. Fishtanks and pillows would probably be fine, but you should never gift people clocks and pears in China since most people are aware of the offensive message they hold.

Images: Unsplash, Dino Liu