Boys don’t cry. It isn’t just a song by The Cure or a famous film with Hilary Swank. It’s a claim that unfortunately rings true for many of us. For some, it’s a statement we grew up hearing but didn’t think much about, for others maybe it’s something we’ve internalized and come to accept. Men (and boys) clearly do get sad and cry, but as a society we still seem to have trouble truly believing it.

Sadness is something that all humans experience, but when symptoms are extreme and last more than two weeks, this is known as depression. Men and women can both experience it, but the diagnosis occurs more frequently in women. It may be in part because men tend to dismiss symptoms and are less likely to seek medical treatment.

Interestingly, men also seem to experience depression a little differently than women. For them it may be expressed more as anger, irritability, or aggressiveness. Physical symptoms can also occur, things like changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, feeling extremely tired, as well as problems with sexual desire and performance. These could all be signs of depression. Some men may turn to alcohol and drugs to cope with their symptoms. Suddenly engaging in high risk behaviors could also be a sign.

There are different types of depression, and these can all be diagnosed by a physician. If you feel you may be depressed seek counsel from a trained professional. This is important because different types of depression are treated differently. If you feel your partner or your friend is exhibiting some symptoms of depression consider bringing up the subject in a delicate way. Take any comments about suicide very seriously. Though women attempt suicide more frequently, men are more often successful because they use more lethal methods.

There is a common form of depression aptly called SAD. That stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. It occurs during the winter months when the nights are longer and colder, and we’re exposed to less sunlight. Sun exposure on our skin helps our body make vitamin D. Vitamin D helps our body absorb calcium, supports healthy immune system function, and is involved in mood regulation. In more northern locations, such as Beijing, it’s important to supplement with Vitamin D during the winter months. A doctor can help you test your levels and see how much you need to supplement. Please note I’m not saying Vitamin D can cure depression. What I am saying is that Vitamin D deficiency may be a factor, since low levels can cause irritability, low mood and a feeling of being unwell.

Maybe we can all change our tune. Let’s say boys do cry and it’s okay. Let’s reach out to a male friend who seems down and out, talk to the boys in our lives about their emotions. Let them know it’s all right to feel sad sometimes, and if the feeling persists, then it’s okay to ask for help. Who knows, it may just be a simple case of needing more Vitamin D.

This article appeared in the beijingkids November 2019 Beijing Baba issue

Something moms struggle with is self care. It took me a long time to be convinced that self care is good, but we can’t pour out of an empty cup. Being a mother is an emotional rollercoaster and – newsflash – you will never feel like your old self again. This is the new you now. Moms are pretty amazing, and I am a big advocate of moms taking time for themselves, making sure they parent from a place that is filled with love not drained of energy.

Camila Betin is a new mother who has combined all her knowledge, and is ready to help mothers in Beijing get happy and healthy. Betin is a nutrition specialist and fitness trainer who had her first child in December; she has learned many valuable lessons in this short amount of time.

A few months ago I’ve learned that being a mom is the most amazing, yet overwhelming/ demanding thing that can happen to a woman.

Betin has been creating this program since her son was born, giving it time to develop while she dipped her toe into motherhood. I have seen her riding her bike around Lido, and it looks to me like she has the hang of it. Being fit and healthy is so important for everybody in the family. Betin explains:

Being a new mom is not easy. Especially in the first months, it feels like there is a new challenge every day and when life itself is a challenge, you don’t need to add more pressure on yourself. So the idea behind this project is not to put people on a diet, or make them to spend two hours at the gym. My goal is to help other moms to change their lifestyle, little by little, and bring more health and good nutrition for all their family.

What is included in the Mommy’s Me Time eight week program?

• A meal plan designed to boost your energy with the right amount of calories and nutrients
• Recipes that can be cooked in 30 minutes
• A home workout program with sessions that last less than 1/2 hour + workout kit – Bi-weekly one-to-one meetings
• Group training with other moms
• A cooking class
• An on-line support group

Get more information by scanning the QR code on the poster

Pictures: Camila Betin

In the triennial international survey conducted by the Organization of Economic Co-operation and Development under the Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA), test scores from 65 countries were matched up to discover the best but the city of Beijing did not feature.

Shanghai has the best test scores in the world but ranked fifth overall in the happy plus test score rank. Hong Kong and Macau also made the list. Singapore leads in having the world’s best schools and happiest kids according to Buzzfeed.com

How did they measure happiness? Children were asked the question,’Are you happy at School?’ Then the Happiness was ranked based on the percentage of students who agreed and disagreed. The test scores ranking were compiled on the combined individual rankings of math, reading and science scores.

Take a look at which other countries made the list from the best to the worst and from the happiest to the unhappiest.

Photos courtesy of acidcow.com