Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your partner’s name?

AJ Donnelly and Nicola Doering.

Where are you from? Where is your partner from?

I’m [AJ] from Bedford and Nic is from the Isle of Sheppey in Kent, both in the UK.

How long have you been together?

We’ve known each other since October 2009, and we’ve been together since April 2010. We got married in August (08.08!) 2017.

Where and how did you meet?

AJ: Funny you should ask! We actually met through theBeijinger classifieds section. It was coming up on the October holidays in 2009, and Nic had no plans, so put out a listing on the tbj website, looking for someone to just hang out with over the holiday. I was kind of single at the time, so figured it would be interesting to meet a foreigner from the classifieds, as opposed to the Chinese girls I’d met before.

Nic: To be honest I didn’t have any expectations at all of meeting anyone through classifieds in Beijing. I’d been on a couple of other dates, including one where the guy was already talking about marriage! So meeting AJ was a pleasant surprise. But although I liked him, he was very intense, and after three dates I’d actually decided not to see him again, at least not romantically. In the new year I wondered if I’d made the decision too hastily and asked him if he wanted to see a movie with me (it was Avatar and it was pretty bad!). But he was like a different person! From then on we started seeing each other regularly.

What was your first date?

AJ: I’m not sure I’d classify it as a date. We met up in Ritan Park, and spent around 3 hours walking around in a circle. We’d both been in China for a long time, so we had plenty of stories to share. It was certainly different from what I’d become used to over the years, and was a refreshing change. But after that, and seeing each other a couple of times, there really wasn’t a spark, so we didn’t see each other again for a while. A few months later though, Nic messaged me and asked if I’d like to see Avatar with her. I figured it was just a friends-hanging-out situation, so asked my mate to join. Fortunately he didn’t want to go, it turned into a real date, and we somehow saw a different side if each other. And now here we are!

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

AJ: Maybe it sounds cheesy, but I’m not sure if there was ever a time when I thought “I wonder how long this will last?” It was just so natural, so comfortable, so right from the start that I kind of just said to myself, “Yeah, this is where everything else was leading to.”

Nic: I knew right after Avatar! He was so funny and charming!

What do you love about each other?

AJ: Nic is the only person that really gets me, in every way. She just knows what I’m thinking, what I need, what my feelings are in any given situation. But more than that, she complements my existence. Not in an “opposites attract” kind of way, but in a literal yin and yang type of way, in that we bring balance to each other through our differences, while at the same time containing small characteristics of each other within us. When I’m teaching, I always describe taichi, and yin yang, as a dynamic balance, and that is exactly the kind of love Nic and I share, I believe.

Nic: AJ is sweet, thoughtful and loving. We can depend on each other and we complement each other in both our personalities and skills. He loves animals. He makes me question things that I take for granted and see the world in a different way. And he makes me laugh A LOT.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

AJ: Is it different to anywhere else? I’m not sure. I’ve only ever been in love here. I would say that the particular challenges that the life and culture of Beijing can bring can cause challenges for your relationship, and stress of the city can translate to pressure on your budding love. But dating, and eventually falling in love, in Beijing can also be a blessing; you and your partner can bond over your shared interest of the life and culture here, and your relationship grows and develops at the same time as your ties to the city. That’s certainly what happened between Nic and I, and our love grows stronger every day we are here.

Nic: I don’t think falling in love in Beijing is different to anywhere else, though that may not be true for everyone. But if I had advice for others, it would be, firstly, give people a chance. I met AJ during a bit of a stressful time for him (but I didn’t know that), and if I hadn’t given him a second chance I would have missed out on the love of my life. So give it several dates before you make a final decision! Secondly, running a company together (which seems quite common amongst couples here) can put a strain on a relationship without doubt. But communication and honesty are crucial and I think that’s one of our strengths. As is being willing to spend a lot of time together!

Photos: Courtesy of AJ Donnelly

Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com

What is your name and your partner’s name?

My name is Lana and my husband’s name is Mohamed (very Arabic).

Where are you from? Where is your partner from?

I’m actually a mix of American and Russian, while Mohamed is a pure Yemeni.

How long have you been together?

Now that you ask, it’s been longer than I thought. We have been together since April 2013! Going into our 7^th year.

Where and how did you meet?

I was working in Guangzhou at this time and was looking for a place to travel for the holidays. My friend asked if I wanted to go to Dalian with him and I agreed. When at the airport, he had to immediately cancel the trip as he had a potential client arriving in the morning.

This lead to me going alone — god knows where Dalian was on the map of China. I hadn’t done any research and spoke zero Chinese. As my friend felt so guilty, he said he would find a good friend in Dalian to take me around the city so I don’t feel lonely. This friend was Mohamed, speaking zero English at that time, he only spoke Arabic and Chinese, both of which I didn’t!

What was your first date?

So the day after I arrived he invited me to a restaurant, Xinjiang local student place, and I didn’t know how to explain to him that I don’t eat meat. That was the funniest surprise to an Arab, how is that possible? The chef knew Mohamed and was very kind. We had a nice meal and then he took me to the mountain top on his motorcycle. It was really amazing and very romantic, riding through amazing scenery with the sea breeze, and then having a small picnic, which was not something I had thought of for a tour trip.

At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?

We were talking an hour daily on Skype. He didn’t understand what I was saying and I didn’t understand him. I found out his birthday was at the end of April and decided to surprise him with a visit. I could see how happy he was and at that time I realized, I finally found a person who is in love with me, he’s a keeper!

What do you love about each other?

I love the fact that we fulfill each other’s disadvantages. He loves cooking, I don’t. I love cleaning, he doesn’t. Mohamed is a man of his word and that really makes me feel safe no matter what. We love each other in all these different ways and have been through a lot for both family sides to accept our marriage. My parents in America weren’t thrilled, just like his weren’t keen on him marrying a foreigner, but in the end, love prevailed and we respect each other’s cultural traditions.

What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?

At first, when you arrive here, everything feels more difficult. You feel there are many more regulations is some way. In another way, there are so many international places around and you feel much lighter knowing you can go to a Brazilian place today, Italian tomorrow, and have some nice cheesecake on the weekend. Besides, there are so many activities in the city, you never get bored!

Photos: Courtesy of Lana