Forget oft criticized and debated parenting styles of the past like “tiger” and “helicopter,” the new term du jour for our anxiety rich world is “toxic parenting.”

John Marsden, one of Australia’s most esteemed educators and an internationally best-selling author of young adult fiction, is sounding the alarm on new parenting habits he’s defining as toxic for children’s mental health.

In his new book, “The Art of Growing Up,” Marsden writes, according to The Guardian, “of the problematic state of parents being in love with their children, rather than loving them.” He warns of overprotective, obstacle clearing parents who “cosset and fret over their offspring” rather than allow them to learn from their mistakes and experience inner, personal growth. In recent years, he’s observed panicked, antiseptic, risk adverse, “free range” parents who act like overprotective guardians, and less like parents who openly allow their children to have their own experiences and learn from them. And this can also take a serious toll on mental health.

Many educators, youth counselors, and parents worry about the rising levels of anxiety and depression in children and adolescents, and their fears are not unfounded. According to Psychology Today, our high school and college students of today are five to eight times more likely to meet the criteria for a diagnosis of major depression and/or anxiety disorder compared to fifty years ago.

Much of this anxiety is understandable for anyone and everyone glued to their device’s doomsday newsfeed on this rapidly warming planet. It almost feels at times that if you’re not nervous, you’re not paying attention. This pervasive anxiety makes us behave defensively, and, according to Marsden, festers a parenting style of overprotection, to the detriment of the child.

“It’s not that people are setting out to act destructively, but their common sense and instincts seem to have been overridden by other considerations,” writes Marsden. “The emotional damage (to children) is coming from an anxiety which often approaches panic.”

Expat parenting is an entirely different ballpark of anxiety, with cultural and language differences, a web of visa forms, school applications, and even the occasional embassy alert. Couple this with the specific challenges you face while living as an expat family in China. We’ve all juggled though VPNs to finish a project, or struggled to communicate needs in broken Chinese. It’s hard not to worry that all you’re not doing is never enough, especially with the avalanche of expectations we place on ourselves and families.

What’s the solution? A start could be as simple as play.

Marsden is also the founder and principal of two private schools in Victoria, both costly to attend and nestled in vast bushland campuses. In his schools, students explore the outdoors, cooperate, learn hands-on skills, exercise, avoid all that simulated reality on their screens, and most importantly, they play. They are allowed to explore the world with gentle encouragement, observe scientific principles occurring in nature and learn skills with real applications.

These principles can easily be engaged in our everyday parenting. For us as expat parents in Beijing, summer camps, science focused playdates, exploring parks around Beijing, team sports, cultural and art events can create kids with their own strong character. Just limit device use and encourage play. Children need some level of autonomy and a variety of experiences to grow. A highly researched, vouched for and controlled experience isn’t the same as one that’s more in the moment, creative and spontaneous. And living successfully in China requires a dynamic, observational, open-minded outlook anyway, so why not allow our kids to try it on their own —without our constant interference.

Photo: Adobe Stock

Four renowned Australian writers are set to speak at various bookshops, schools, and universities across Beijing, as part of the tenth anniversary of the Australian Writers Week in China.

“This tenth-anniversary edition will be the biggest yet,” Australia’s Ambassador to China HE Ms. Jan Adams AO PSM said in a press release.  “Over the past decade, Australian Writers Week in China has seen many of Australia’s most exciting authors travel to China, to share their stories with Chinese audiences and celebrate contemporary Australian writing.”

According to the Australian Embassy in China, the annual event “raises awareness of the quality and diversity of Australian literature with book lovers young and old.”

In this edition of The Weekend Ahead, we feature the four authors speaking at Beijing’s literary spaces from Friday to Sunday: Tom Keneally, Geraldine Brooks, John Marsden, and Bronwyn Bancroft.

Download the official Australian Writers Week schedule here.

Tom Keneally

Though Tom Keneally is best known as the Booker Man Booker Prize-winning author of Schindler’s Ark, which was adapted into the Academy Award-winning 1993 film Schindler’s List, he nearly made cinematic history a decade earlier in China. Back in the 1980s, the Sydney-born author was attempting to broker a deal between Australian directors and Shanghai studios as part of the two nations’ first cultural liaison. Keneally will speak at the Bookworm on Friday night.

Tom Keneally in Conversation, May 12
Adults. The talk will be in English. 7.30-9pm. RMB 50 entry fee (includes a drink) and an advanced booking is required. The Bookworm, Building 4, Nan Sanlitun Rd, Chaoyang District. 老书虫 ，朝阳区三里屯南街4号楼

Geraldine Brooks

Australian-American novelist Geraldine Brooks is the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of March and a former Wall Street Journal foreign correspondent known for, amongst other things, interviewing the Ayatollah Khomeini and covering crises in the Persian Gulf. Brooks will make two Beijing appearances this weekend.

Geraldine Brooks in Conversation with Lu Nei (路内), May 12
Adults. Conducted in English and Chinese. 6.30-8.30pm. Free. CITIC Bookstore, Parkview Green, B2, 9 Dongdaqiao Rd, Chaoyang District.中信书店侨福芳草地店, 朝阳区东大桥路9号侨福芳草地购物中心B2层

At Home in the World: From Journalist to Novelist, Geraldine Brooks, Zhou Yijun and Yuan Ling, May 13
Adults. Conducted in English and Chinese. 2-3.30pm. Free. One-Way Street Bookstore, Building D, Shang 8 Creative Art Zone, 1 Zhonghuan S. Rd, Wangjing. 单向空间·花家地店，朝阳区望京中环南路1号社科院研究生院尚8人文创意园 D座1层

John Marsden

“Australia’s king of young adult fiction,” John Marsden has written more than 40 books, including the critically acclaimed Tomorrow novel series, now a major motion picture. Marsden’s belt also includes another highly regarded young adult novels, So Much to Tell You and Letters from the Inside. Marsden has sold five million copies internationally and has also written books on the craft of writing, manhood, and parenting.

Marsden will speak at three different venues in Beijing this weekend.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Young Adult Literature: John Marsden in Conversation with Yi Ping (翌平), May 11
Adults. The session will be both in English and Chinese. 7-9pm. Free. Dongcheng No. 1 Library, 85 Jiaodaokou East St, Dongcheng District. 东城区第一图书馆，东城区交道口东大街85号

John Marsden: A Life in Books, May 13
Ages 12+. 11am-12.30pm. RMB 50 entry fee (includes a drink) and an advanced booking is required. The Bookworm, Building 4, Nan Sanlitun Rd, Chaoyang District. 老书虫 ，朝阳区三里屯南街4号楼

John Marsden: Take care, take risks, May 13
Adults. 2-3pm. RMB 50 entry fee (includes a drink) and an advanced booking is required. The Hutong, 1 Jiudaowan Zhongxiang, Beixinqiao, Dongcheng District. 北京融汇通文化传播有限公司，东城区北新桥九道湾中巷1号

Bronwyn Bancroft

Indigenous artist Bronwyn Bancroft is known for her designs that showcase the beauty of the Australian landscape. Her picture book artwork explores a unique “Australian-ness” feeling by showcasing a distinct feel of clear lines, accessible style, and color. Bancroft had also been the Australian Candidate for the UNICEF Ezra and Jack Keats International Award for Excellence in Children’s Book Illustration in 1994.

Bronwyn Bancroft: My Life, My Country, May 14
Adults. English & Chinese. 7-8pm. Free. BHG Changying Shopping Centre, 17 Chaoyang North Rd, Chaoyang District. 北京华联（常营购物中心）, 朝阳区朝阳北路17号

Photos: Australian Embassy China, Static, Forward

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Email: andypenafuerte@beijing-kids.com
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