I have no doubt that what occupies the mind of both new and seasoned parents is our child’s development. We want to be able to predict our child’s behavior and character with expert precision, but this, of course, is only a daydream. Instead, as I’ve come to realize through observation and of course extensive new-mom research, our kids will truly surprise us.

We should never underestimate our kids, and there are so many factors that go into behavior and learning that we should also never underestimate the positive impact we can have when we understand their neurological development and how we can better guide them towards positive developmental outcomes.

Use the following stages of neurological development to better support your child and understand the powerful role you have as a parent when it comes to your babies’ brain development.

Sensorimotor Stage

Between birth and 2 years old, a child is getting used to experiencing the world around them through their senses. Using objects and their sensations, a child will begin to understand and master each environment they interact with. It’s all trial and error for a while, and when they reach the age of 1 a child will learn object permanence (understanding that an object continues to exist outside the field of vision).

Babies are also developing socially and emotionally and will look to their parent for support. According to Sarah Lytle, Ph.D., from the Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences at the University of Washington in Seattle, this is called social referencing or social cognition; for example, when a child engages with someone they don’t know they usually look to the parent to gauge how to respond. Show them how to respond through your own interaction to build confidence and independence.

A child will usually utter their first word around the six-month mark. To help your child develop their language skills use your gaze, which they will follow when introducing them to a new word. Place emphasis on words with your eyes by moving them slowly. And lay off the baby talk (although we are encouraged to use a baby tone) and use words correctly, in full and in complete, grammatically correct sentences (which so happened to be an “I told you so” triumph in my household.)

Pre-operational Stage

Here is where a child’s language skills go up a few notches. Between the age of 2 and 7, a child will develop numerical understanding and learn the difference between past and future. During this stage, our kids will have a handle on concrete situations; however, more abstract concepts will take more time to grasp.

In an earlier post about toddlers, The Terrible Twos, I wrote about different phrases we can use to help manage and support a toddler, and it’s during this stage that these will become powerful tools. From the age of 2, a child will find it difficult to think outside of their own wants and needs. For now, ‘self’ can be an overriding factor when it comes to sharing or caring about others.

Parents can work at developing and building a child’s level of empathy by using the “Sally-Ann test” and reading stories where they will need to put themselves in a character’s shoes.

The last two stages of neurological development are the Concrete Stage and the Formal Operations Stage. Between the ages of 6 to 12, the former enters a child into the age of reason, where they grasp abstract concepts and empathy. However, a child at this stage still requires further development in regard to systematic reasoning. Lytle suggests that parents should be sensitive to a child’s emotional welfare during this stage, as marital spats or a parent who might be suffering from stress or depression could negatively impact their psychological development.

The latter concerns a child’s development from 12 throughout their teenage years. This is where you will see greater capacities for hypothetical thinking, complex reasoning, and a greater understanding of moral issues. However, our work is not done: teenagers often evaluate situations using their amygdala (emotional center) of their brains and our prefrontal cortex is actually not fully developed until we are around the age of 25. Give children during this stage the opportunity to express themselves, participate in active problem solving, and make judgment calls.

Who knew learning a little neuroscience could make a real difference to parenthood? Raising children is never easy but educating ourselves is half the battle.

Photos: Pixabay

When it comes to effective communication, good reading and writing skills are just as important as speaking and listening skills. Reading and writing skills are integral in our daily lives as we use it to express our ideas and to learn of others’ ideas. In schools, reading and writing are fundamental to our curricula and learning; in the workplace reading and writing are fundamental to conducting business. And they are a significant component of the application for schools overseas — crucial for the personal essays and the critical reading and writing section of the SAT.

Reading and writing can be quite difficult at times. You may have experienced those situations where you’ve spent days agonizing over a reading, then writing an analytical paper in response. Difficult as it can be, reading and writing cannot be ignored and rather than procrastinate, the best way to get better at reading and writing is simply to practice more. Yes, read and write more even if you don’t want to. Why are they important?

Reading is the foundation for writing. Effective reading skills help us to learn new information. We use it to read books and newspapers, to surf the web, and even to understand people when we read their body language. Reading enriches our vocabulary and refines our language and grammar. It can improve our empathy skills as we learn to understand how people think and feel differently. Reading opens our minds as we become exposed to more information; the more we read the better we train our brains to process and dissect information more efficiently and even to connect seemingly unrelated ideas. As a result reading is essential to critical thinking, a core skill that’s needed for learners and in the workplace.

Find out more here

This post first appeared on Prep Beijing! on September 23, 2013 and was written by Alicia Lui.

Alicia Lui is a co-founder at Prep Beijing!, a coaching company focusing on core soft skills such as effective communication, social and emotional skills, etiquette, critical thinking and leadership skills. Prior to founding Prep Beijing! She has worked in management consulting and in banking. She holds and MBA from INSEAD and Bachelor’s from University of Chicago

Photo courtesy of Abbe5 (Flickr)

Did you know that body language is the most important aspect of communication? Research has shown that in face-to-face interactions, about 55 percent of the meaning of the message is communicated via body language — indicating non-verbal communication is actually more important than verbal communication.

Only 38 percent and 7 percent of communication occurs via voice and words respectively. Whether you’re simply conversing, in an interview, discussion in a group or giving a presentation in front of an audience, body language is crucial to shaping the message you intend to deliver. As humans, we naturally and immediately develop a perception of others when we see them; body language builds, confirms and allays these impressions we form.

As we’ve mentioned before, communication skills are one of the most important skills you’ll need in life. You use it everyday regardless of whether you’re in school, at work or at home with friends, family, colleagues and teachers. In your contact with others, just as you may experience certain feelings watching their body language, others will react to yours.

Here are some helpful information to raise your understanding of the world around you and to increase the impact of your communication.

You look confident when …
…the other person feels your energy, your charisma, and sufficient eye contact. Open body language is of utmost importance. What does that mean? You’re standing in a welcoming posture so arms and legs are not crossed, you’re smiling naturally, you’re shoulders are relaxed, and of course, you’re facing the person that you’re talking to. You present an assertive handshake and are in control of your gestures and movements.

You look engaged when …
…you maintain strong eye contact, you nod on occasion in response to what the other person is saying and you lean your body forward  to acknowledge them. You listen attentively without interrupting, you smile naturally and gently and may on occasion mimic the body language of the other person.

You look nervous when …
… you frequently look away for short periods at a time and may use excessive movements such as fidgeting, playing with your hair, licking your lips or clamping your hands too tightly together. Your shoulders might be hunched as you try to draw attention away from yourself.

Find out more on Prep Beijing. This post first appeared on December 16 on Prep Beijing and was written by Alicia Lui.

Alicia Lui is a co-founder at Prep Beijing!, a coaching company focusing on core soft skills such as effective communication, social and emotional skills, etiquette, critical thinking and leadership skills. Prior to founding Prep Beijing! She has worked in management consulting and in banking. She holds and MBA from INSEAD and Bachelor’s from University of Chicago

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia commons