We hear these questions all the time, “How much do you pay your ayi?” “Does your ayi do laundry?” and the most hotly debated, “Do you give your ayi an annual bonus?”

Part of life in Beijing involves finding yourself an ayi, someone to carry out those tedious household chores and help to look after your kids. For some, the concept can be difficult to adjust to; the idea of having a stranger doing all the tasks you are perfectly capable of performing yourself doesn’t always rest easy.  For others, the transition to paying a reasonable wage for a clean home is a straightforward financial transaction.

Now in its 11th year, the Beijing Ayi Survey was started by our colleague Tobal Loyola. After asking around about ayi salaries and getting a variety of responses, he realized there was a need for a community resource to provide a basis for comparison.

Once again, we’re conducting the Ayi Survey to collect some much-needed information on an essential part of your life in Beijing.

To take the survey, scan the QR code in the poster below. Help us help you get the most accurate and up-to-date information about ayis in Beijing.

Images: Pexels

School’s started and we’re settling back into our regular routine again. So as going down a rabbit hole looking at ways to organize my home, life, studies, work, health, etc., it seems like a good time to bring back bullet journaling and share some tips from our previous teen intern who swears by it.

Fei Fei Xu started her first bullet journal in the summer of 2018. It was a complete failure. But you learn from your mistakes and months later, her second attempt became the first journal ever filled. Here’s what she’s got to share for those looking to get into bullet journaling.

Bullet journaling is not just an Instagram-worthy hobby, but also an outlet for creativity, a chance to overcome perfectionist ideals, and a way to collaborate and meet other passionate journal-ists. But first, what is a bullet journal, and how is it different from a regular journal?

A bullet journal is a self-tailored planner that helps you keep track of your week, schedule, or habits, whereas a regular journal mostly documents your day in plain text on paper.

To start a bullet journal, you need to give yourself room to make mistakes. The first step to creating a successful bullet journal is to try an array of journals and notebooks to find one that fits your preference. A bullet journal is your own to customize and decorate. Try out a few different journals to find what you prefer – hardcover or spiral-bound, big or small. Give yourself time to experiment with your first journal.

A completely blank pristine book may seem like a welcoming challenge to some, but a disaster waiting to happen for others. To get over your fear of ruining an empty journal, you need to understand that mistakes are bound to happen and that letting yourself make these mistakes is going to help you overcome them.

When I first started my bullet journal, the blank pages were so daunting that the simplest of lines I drew were deemed unworthy. Slowly but surely, I gained more confidence in my journal and allowed the mishaps to breathe, sometimes even embracing random smears of ink.

Pro tip: Cover unwanted mistakes with scraps of paper or stickers and integrate them into the design! It brings more layers to the spread and fleshes out the page as well!

A bullet journal is part of your personal expression. Find washi tapes that you like, pens in the colors you prefer (not just black or blue!), and fill it with curly and bold handwriting as you wish. Use all the colors you want or challenge yourself by sticking to a few. Your journal can be filled to the brim with different spreads detailing your week and a complex log of your emotions, or it can have no rhyme or reason and simply burst with spontaneous color and ideas. Most importantly though, don’t feel intimidated by the impeccable journal spreads on Pinterest. Rather, use them as inspiration and motivation. Your journal is for you and you only, so adjust it to your liking!

I have bonded with many friends over bullet journaling, sharing stationery, and flipping through each other’s books. Which is to say, bullet journaling isn’t just about putting pen to paper, but also the social experience of shopping for journals and the requisite tools with friends (I recommend 南锣鼓巷 nánluógǔxiàng or any stationery store near you), letting go and journaling your thoughts, then sharing work that you’re proud of.

Find it:
西城区南锣鼓巷
NanLuoGuXiang, Xicheng District

So with the school year back in full swing and my days filling up with school, social, work, and family activities, I’ve recently gotten into them again. It helps keep me focused on my priorities as well and they’re such a fun way to stay organized with the exact calendar that fits your lifestyle and needs as well as a fun way to do some doodling with a purpose and play with stickers like a kid. 

For me, my latest bullet journal is none other than a super cheap, pastel-colored, flopped notebook with grid paper that I found on Taobao that reminds me of my subject notebooks from junior high.

Images: Mina Yan, Taobao, Pexels

Summer vacation is a time for exploration, fun, and creating memories that last a lifetime. As the sun sets on another summer, we want to hear about the amazing things you’ve experienced!

Did you travel to a far-off destination and discover new cultures or welcome a new member into your family? Did you attend a music festival and dance the night away under the stars or attend a life-changing summer camp? Or perhaps you learned a new skill or mastered a new language.

Perhaps you spent quality time with family and friends, having barbecues in the backyard. Maybe you volunteered for a worthy cause and made a difference in your community. Or you might have pursued a passion project, like writing a novel or painting a masterpiece.

We believe that every summer has its own unique stories and adventures. By sharing your experiences, you not only get to relive those precious moments but also inspire others to make the most of their summers.

Jingkids invites you to tell us about the coolest thing you did this summer.

Send your stories and photos to us via email at minayan@beijing-kids.com or via WeChat at Wilhelmina87.

Let’s celebrate the summer of 2024 together and keep the spirit of adventure alive!

Images: Pexels

Please read this article to learn ways you can help out and make sure to share it in order to spread awareness! 

Angel Baseball Base is a school in Beijing that teaches baseball to orphans and children in need of homes. By learning this sport they will have greater opportunities for their future, as they train very hard. The organization offers hotels and sells foods, for example: vegetables they planted. This is how they can obtain money for school. Sadly, they do not have enough support in some areas, so this is why spreading awareness is crucial.

Find It:
Qiangbang Angel Baseball Base
Mahuang Road, Tongzhou District
通州区马黄路

Follow their journey on WeChat

Donation QR code:

QR code to buy their vegetables:

Meet Coach M, the man in charge.

How many children and staff are there at the school?

Right now there are 88 children there and the staff there is roughly about 12.

What support does the school need more of? 

Money is always tight, even now with the new partnership. We still gotta buy food for the kids and we gotta pay for electricity and water to run a place like that and make repairs to some of the buildings that might be falling down. Money is definitely always needed, and before, you know, I would say books and school supplies and stuff, but with the partnership with the school that’s not really a necessity. jingkids was absolutely amazing over Christmas. They donated thousands of books, so we’re good with books now. 

We’re good with the school supplies, and when people visit they often bring bags of rice or big boxes of fruit which is very helpful. It definitely helps lower some of the food costs, so any donations of non-perishable food would be greatly appreciated. 

Anybody who wants to go help paint some walls, or do some farming or groundskeeping – we can always use manpower as well.

Does the school have enough staff?

Well, if you would have asked me this last year I would say it’s not enough, but ever since we formed a partnership with my previous school there’s been plenty of resources as far as teaching resources. We gave 42 scholarships to children.

How are the lives of the children there?

It is a lot better than where they are coming from. Every child has their own unique story, and 99 percent of the time it is sad. So their life now is a far cry from what they were born into.

They are happy, healthy, well fed and they study. I always see smiling faces and they are treated very well.

In your opinion what are the easiest ways to donate to the school?

One easy way is donating time. Showing up and asking if any help is needed. The second is spreading the word. Lastly, using the QR code for donations.

How can people volunteer?

You can contact me or the school and let us know how you would like to help, for example, what kinds of activity you’d like to do. Then I can arrange it with the orphanage.

What was the inspiration to start a baseball school?

It came from Coach Sun, who was the team captain of the Chinese national baseball team for the 2008 Olympics. When his career ended he didn’t know what to do, until he started doing some baseball programs. 

He had the idea to find a location, get kids from underprivileged areas, or who didn’t have parents, and bring them to his camp. With the kids, he made a team and took them to America to play games. They made a documentary about this and made a lot of money. With the money, he bought a huge place, which is now the school.

What is the next step for the school?

Now that we have full-time teachers and a full-time sustainable curriculum with textbooks and resources, the next step is just to teach [the children]for the next year, and get their skills for subjects up.  

When I came I realized these kids are really great at baseball. If I can teach them English, put together a high school course and make a transcript, then I can get them scholarships to universities in America. The oldest child there is currently 15, so it will be another few years before any of them are ready. My goal is to get them all to start ninth grade when they are around 16.

Pictures of the school:

Pictures: Zhirong Liu

Mar 8 was International Women’s Day. In honor of all the Queens who are crushing it and living their best lives, Jingkids will be profiling some of Beijing’s fiercest female entrepreneurs. Like Queen Beyonce says, “Who runs the world? Girls!”

If you know a Girl Boss you think we should profile, don’t hesitate to shoot us a message at editor@beijing-kids.com.

Yonina Chan is a bada$$. A no-nonsense, ridiculously funny, energetic powerhouse. As the general manager and founder of Warrior One and Krav Maga Global’s (KMG) China office, she is fueled by coffee and a deep sense of service to the community she and her husband Von Ng have built.

In her own words, “Warrior One is a community-centered martial arts school and strength training center. Our mission is to help ordinary people train body and mind, and build an unshakeable spirit, through self-defense, martial arts, and strength training.”

This is old-school. No treadmills, pink sparkly one-pound dumbbells, or peppy cheerleaders telling you to “visualize the life you want.” This is legitimate training aimed at building skills and strength. And its devoted community and following are supportive but tough.

But Chan didn’t seek out the fitness industry. In fact, she is a self-described “couch potato” who started her career in journalism. However, when she and her partner had the chance to helm a small KMG studio here in Beijing she took the business reigns while Ng handled the structure and content.

In an attempt to understand the business better and because it was free to train at her own center, she started taking classes. The structure and the challenge of the system got her hooked. “It took several years of physically and mentally demanding training, personal sacrifice, and a lot of much-needed maturity as a practitioner and as a person before I managed to go and thankfully pass a certification in Israel in 2015, and the rest is history,” Chan explains.

But her true purpose is what she refers to as behind-the-scenes work – keeping the school running, documenting and posting to social media, and keeping the books and clients healthy.

“It’s truly not the most glamorous or highest-paying gig, and it’s also immensely challenging to stay on mission given the onslaught of trends, gimmicks, and new social media demands that constantly bombard us.”

When asked what the best and worst thing about being an entrepreneur, her answer was the same for both. “That we are fully responsible for the success or failure of our business… It took Von and me a long time to learn and refine how to run a business. Our journey wasn’t a smooth one, and we didn’t have mentors to guide us. Coming from the technical side of things, we swung from being too precious about our martial arts to trying too hard to fit the market, and everything in between… until we are finally learning how to be business owners without selling our souls.”

So why do it? Why work so hard at an unglamorous, 24 hour a day, seven days a week gig that pays the bills but, by her own admission, might never make them rich?

“Well, because there’s something fundamentally satisfying about the nature of the work we do. It’s a selfish reason, to be honest, but it feels really great to know that the things we do have a real impact on people’s lives. Sure, we’re probably not making huge sweeping social statements or changing the world, but we’re doing what we can to focus on the people who are in front of us… I’ve seen people who’ve transformed so dramatically – built their confidence, improved their mindsets, and boosted their sense of self. We’ve seen people go from frail, uncertain, and fearful of injury, to strong, confident in their abilities, and more knowledgeable about their bodies. It’s a big thing for us to know that what we’re doing works, and that it matters to the people we serve.”

The upcoming International Woman’s Day is about equity and empowerment. And the truth is Warrior One is one of the few places where that is actually achieved. Men and women train side by side, the expectations are the same for both and no excuses or platitudes are allowed. In an industry that is about self-confidence and empowerment, I wanted to know how a truly confident and empowered business owner who happens to be a woman feels about the movement.

There is a lot of lip service paid to female empowerment. But what does that actually mean to you?
Even as I recognize that we need to use the term “empowerment” as a shorthand to communicate what we are trying to do, I’ve long struggled with using it because it’s been a complicated, co-opted term for a long time.

There’s an article from 2003 (almost two decades ago) by the satirical news website The Onion headlined: “Women Now Empowered by Everything a Woman Does” that makes the point rather bluntly:

“Whereas early feminists campaigned tirelessly for improved health care and safe, legal access to abortion, often against a backdrop of public indifference or hostility, today’s feminist asserts control over her biological destiny by wearing a baby-doll T-shirt with the word ‘Hoochie’ spelled in glitter.”

In the most literal sense of the word, empowerment means giving someone power to do something. Empowering women meant fighting against discrimination, fighting for equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunities. In the martial arts world, it should be about helping women build skills, knowledge, and the mindset so they have a realistic sense of their abilities and better understanding how they can navigate the world. But it’s become about a lot of pastel colors, wearing makeup to training, toothless platitudes and self-affirmations, and, worst of all, false confidence. Don’t get me wrong – grabbing a fashionable pair of leggings, finding a great pair of heels, or sharing a well-angled photo of myself gives me a genuine rush of endorphins – but I don’t think it should be confused with something that genuinely empowers women.

How do we achieve that as a society?
I don’t know that there’s a clear answer to this. We try to focus on genuinely trying to help the people in front of us… use our knowledge, resources, and skills to help one person and facilitate a real shift in their lives and their mindset, then at least we know for sure we’ve done something concrete for that one person, right?

Most combat sports are predominantly male-dominated but every time I walk into your gym it’s at least 50 percent women training. Why do you think Warrior One has had such success with women?
What we’re very happy with is the number of women that actually go up the ranks with us and go through the process of learning how to actually fight or defend themselves. It’s both about having a proper pedagogy and space for them to learn, as well as not babying them in training. Sure, you can have pink MMA gloves and a pink mouthguard, but you’ll be expected to learn how to do the strikes, blocks, grappling, etc.… And as a result, you will get better, you will get stronger, you will gain real skills and abilities, and you will reach your goals. I think that’s a more powerful reason people stay, be it women or men.

Women’s bodies carry a lot of cultural baggage tied to unrealistic standards. You work in an industry that deals with bodies and health. How do you balance the aspirational and the realistic in your marketing? How does that marketing differ from the culture you actually have at your training facility?
We’re not exactly a bodybuilding gym, so we’re a bit tangential to that part of the industry. We focus on making people stronger and building real skills. So most people who come to us are interested in our specific offerings and what they can get out of it – they take Krav Maga to learn how to defend themselves, Kali to fight with weapons, Capoeira to do amazing acrobatics, Kickboxing to be proficient in stand-up combat, and Powerlifting to become stronger and prevent injuries in sports and even as we age.

Perhaps the most inspiring thing about Chan is this. She truly strives for balance and integrity in her life. She makes the decisions that are right for her regardless of other people’s opinions or comments. When asked what she does when her definition of personal success and business success don’t align she says, “So far I’ve been lucky that they’ve been able to align. I really try to steer clear of things that don’t fit my values or the journey I see myself taking in life.”

Isn’t that real empowerment, regardless of gender?

KEEP READING: Defending the Day: the Importance of International Women’s Day

Images: Yonina Chan

It’s cold, it’s dark, the AQI is high at times, and there are no holidays or special events to look forward to in the next few weeks. It’s no wonder depression spikes in February. In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, late January and early February see serious rises in something called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It affects not only adults but kids and teens as well.

Some common symptoms to watch for in yourself and your kids include: lethargy or changes in sleeping patterns, a sudden disinterest in things you generally enjoy, irritability, inability to focus or concentrate, and changes in eating habits and patterns. Luckily, though, there are a few things you can do to hold the blues at bay while we wait for warmer weather and brighter days.

Get Outside: Part of the suspected reason for seasonal depression is the lack of Vitamin D from the sun. Vitamin D helps the brain produce a cocktail of feel-good chemicals, like serotonin and dopamine, which regulate our emotions and energy. But the cold weather and bad AQI in Beijing keep us indoors. Just five minutes a day spent outside on your lunch break could see a huge improvement in your mood!

Get Moving: In the immortal words of Legally Blonde’s Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people don’t shoot their husbands!” Shake up your workout routine and get your kids involved in physical activities. Try a silks class, or Krav Maga, or just bike to work or school. Harvard Medical School cited a study that shows mood-boosting effects from as little as 20 minutes of moderate exercise each day. A family walk could be all you need to see a dramatic change in happiness levels.

Get Creative: Art therapy has been shown to have a mood-boosting effect. Expats tend to be high achievers who deal with a lot of stress, and simply having an unstructured creative outlet like coloring, journaling, or dancing, where no one has any expectations of the work you produce, can be very freeing and great for your mental health. Especially for teens who are under immense pressure to constantly produce good grades, create innovative projects, and win competitions that will set them apart in the admissions process. Head to Taobao and get some modeling clay or coloring books and keep them on your desk or in your backpack for a five minute brain break once in a while.

Human Connection: Humans are physical beings who need touch and verbal affirmation. We all experienced the lack of that connection during lockdown, and now that socializing is possible again, we should make spending in-person time with people we love a priority. I know that sometimes all you want is Netflix and take-out, but if it’s been more than a week since you spent time with friends outside of work you need to reconnect for your mental health and theirs. This is especially important for teenagers. Social media is fine but developmentally they need social interaction at an even higher rate than adults do. Set up communal activities and encourage them to meet friends in person.

The good news? The days are getting longer and we are headed into warmer weather. Mild seasonal depression is normal and should subside on its own, but as always, if you think you or your child has a more prolonged or acute issue you should seek professional medical help. Take care of yourself, ask for help when you need it, and be ready to assist other Beijingers who might need an emotional boost to get through the next few weeks.

Images: Canva

KEEP READING: Can ‘One Night Stand’ Shake Up Your Date Night?

It’s a New Year and Chloe Janssen is starting it as a new mom in a new city. She is an expat, a software engineer, and prior to moving with her husband and new son to Beijing a month ago had lived in Hong Kong, Canada, England, The US, and the Netherlands. I asked Janssen to share her fresh perspectives on the Jing and her hopes for her new life and family here.

JKI: What has been the best thing about arriving in Beijing?

CJ: The big change and all the new things to do. I felt I had explored so much of New York and the US that I was getting restless, and we really wanted a change of scenery. We moved to the Netherlands, however, I was more excited than my husband. Now we have Beijing and the whole of China to explore. Also for me, the endless number of tea places!

JKI: What has been the biggest culture shock so far?

CJ: The physical proximity between people. I understand everything moves quickly in China, but there is no ‘collectively understood minimal distance between people rule’ here. I was surprised that people would come extremely close to you, or walk between me and whomever I was speaking with at the moment, or how they would approach my baby and touch him before I could react. Of course, there is also the neverending unsolicited advice of ‘your baby is cold’.

JKI: A new baby is a challenge all its own. What has been the most difficult part of having an infant in Beijing?

CJ: Little steps without a ramp alternative everywhere and a lack of baby changing tables in bathrooms. Public transport is hit or miss, as some stations only have stairs. As Beijing is now freezing, it’s no longer feasible to change my baby on top of a rock in a park. However, most toilets in malls or museums do not have changing tables. When I’m alone pushing my baby in a stroller, I find it difficult to venture too far or explore on foot.

JKI: The most rewarding part of having a baby here?

CJ: He is the best conversation starter!

JKI: How are you building a social network?

CJ: I’ve met other moms in the building I’m currently living in, through different expat groups, and fitness classes.

JKI: How are you taking care of yourself through this transition?

CJ: A nice bath every day, and a lot of self care. I also try to exercise 2-3 times a week.

JKI: What have been your best resources for places to go so far?

CJ: Dianping, and recommendations from friends.

JKI: What do you hope 2022 brings for you and your family?

CJ: Stability, and perhaps one more baby?

Welcome JanssenFamily, We are happy you are here

KEEP READING:22 Things That Beijing Expats Are Wishing for in 2022

Images: Chloe Janssen

My Beijing besties found out they are expecting their first child this year. The baby is due in January and like so many couples here in Beijing they are thrilled to welcome this new addition to their family, but also struggling with all the sadness that comes with experiencing this milestone away from parents and siblings.

At first, my friends didn’t want any fanfare. No announcements, no gifts, no baby shower. We all understood and respected that. But towards the end of her second trimester, mom timidly suggested “If you guys wanted to have a baby shower, I would be okay with that…” and the ladies in our group went into hyperdrive!

We had posters and stickers made, debated food options and balloon colors, and cooed over the tiniest onesies we could find. We whipped ourselves into a bubbly frenzy as we gathered our friend group to support and celebrate the new soon-to-be’s.

And the party was great! But as I sat watching my friends open tiny booties and electronic snot suckers – yup, that’s a thing! – I came to a realization: This party wasn’t just for the couple, it was for the entire community.

Roughly two years ago many of the people sitting in that room and snapping pictures didn’t even know each other. Then the crucible that was Covid hit, borders snapped shut, masks went on and we all leaned into each other. At first it was about making the best of it. But years spent separated from our families, missing major milestones like retirements, weddings, funerals, baptisms, and brises had turned a group of relative strangers into a close-knit family. As such, this first “Beijing Baby” for our group feels like a milestone all its own.

I have always loved the saying “Babies are a sign that the universe hasn’t given up on us yet.” That feels especially true right now. In some ways this baby feels like a sign that in the middle of everything we are still growing and thriving.

So to this expected little one and all the others who arrived this year and will arrive next…

Dear Baby Beijing,

Welcome! It’s a crazy, mixed-up, inside-out, backward thrill ride. There will be awful terrible no good rotten days and there will be amazing, “I can’t believe this is happening to me” adventures. And you are lucky because you were born into a community that will help you through the former and cheer you on during the latter. We throw too many parties, take too many pictures, and often complain about things that don’t matter but we have your back when it counts. You are wanted, loved, and supported by a group of people that are strong and resilient and so, so happy you came.

Make the most of every advantage that your location provides. You have access to some of the best schools in the world so study hard. Your friend group will be one of the most diverse on the planet, so have an open mind and heart as you learn about all the things that make us different and the ones that bind us together. Say yes to lots of different experiences so you can find your passion and then focus on gaining the skills to pursue it. Make big mistakes and learn from them because this world needs you to grow up strong, smart, and compassionate.

Welcome Baby Beijing. We are glad you came.

All of our love, hope, and support,

Your Beijing Family

KEEP READING: They Said What?! Holiday Party Edition

Images: Julie Wolf

According to a recent article in our sister publication, the Beijinger, a whopping 86.6 percent of Beijingers under the age of 35 are in debt. It’s easy to understand why. Beijing is a veritable garden of convenience platforms, from Meituan and Taobao to at-home health care services. Combine that with the rising cost of necessities like child care and rent, plus the keeping up with Joneses mentality that social media can incite, and your paycheck evaporates pretty quickly.

So how do we learn to save instead of spend? Are some people just born money smart or is it a skill taught in childhood? According to a 2021 CNBC article, not only can it be taught but children who receive financial literacy training either by parents or students are significantly less likely to carry credit card debt, as well as fewer college loans, and are more likely to save for retirement and achieve financial independence.

Last year, fellow Jingkids editor Cindy Marie Jenkins and I each wrote about our experiences with money growing up and how it shaped us as people, consumers, and parents or educators. Below are a few excerpts from those articles. To read the full text you can visit the original articles here and here.

My (abridged story):

“(As an expat kid my parents) wanted my siblings and I to make the most of the amazing experience that was on offer but they didn’t want us growing up thinking those experiences didn’t need to be earned.

So yes, we had an ayi and a cook but I was still expected to make my bed each morning and clear the table each night. My parents tied those chores directly to my allowance. Forgot to empty the trash cans or put my laundry away? My allowance would reflect that. From the very beginning, my money was tied directly to my work. This has served me well (so far) as an adult and I attribute a lot of my work ethic to those early lessons about the value of my effort.

How I was taught to use what I earned was a direct reflection of their experiences as well. They knew first-hand the value of a savings safety net and they firmly believed in community, service, and giving back. So, for every dollar of allowance I earned, one quarter had to go into my piggy bank for savings, one quarter had to go to the charity of my choice and 50 cents was mine to do with as I pleased. To this day I am still a saver and a low balance on that account makes me very, very nervous. The downside to this was that it took me a long time to realize it was ok to enjoy my money. That getting something I didn’t need but that made me feel good, like a facial or a piece of nice jewelry, didn’t make me irresponsible or selfish. Part of my financial journey has been realizing that you put that quarter into savings and towards community needs so that you can enjoy the other 50 cents without worrying…

The biggest monetary lesson being an expat kid taught me was this. Money is not a magical mystery cure-all. It will not automatically provide you with comfort, security, adventure, or happiness. Money is a tool and you can use it to help you build the life you want.”

Jenkins journey was different and it changed her parenting style:

“The first time I really recall talking to my father in-depth about money was when I got accepted to New York University (NYU) to study drama. We couldn’t afford it. I would have to take on tens of thousands of dollars in student loans in order to do it, and he would too. Accepting my position there meant my father would need to accept his political appointment to a government library position, leaving the public library he’d loved and grown into a bustling part of his community. I remember him telling me how I would be affected by student loans and interest for years to come (and I remember not caring because I’d be a famous director by then, so why worry – oh, the ignorant folly of youth), but I never remember my father telling me how my decision would affect his life and happiness…

In that respect, I parent quite differently. Ever since my kids could ask for things in the store or when LEGO so brilliantly marketed five more sets to them before we finished building the one we’d bought, I’ve explained the concept of money. It takes many years and much repeating, and we’re still teaching them. Especially in our current situation, when their mom is working outside of the home for the first time in their lifetimes, and we have a lot of privilege where we live. Every time they want something, we delve into how much they already have, and do they really need more LEGO bricks when we quite literally stack bins of unused bricks every day?

…A lot of our money discussions revolve around how much we already have versus what we need to save money for, honestly, in adult and child-related talks. When their ayi gifted them RMB 300 in hongbao last new year, we started them on the concept of “Spend 1/3, Save 1/3, and Donate 1/3.” I gave the boys a few options of how to spend their RMB 100, and they chose the LEGO Store (shocker). I remember their disappointment when I showed them where to look on the displays and how to calculate if they had enough for what they wanted.

…The hardest part, honestly, is explaining how working more hours doesn’t necessarily bring you more money in a salaried position, and the importance of weighing mental health, love of a job, and the ability to survive, into decisions made for and with the family when you’re lucky enough to have those choices. I have no doubt our feelings might be different if we were in more dire straits, and I appreciate that fact every day. Our decision to buy or not buy them a lollipop isn’t whether we can afford it, but how it will affect their teeth. That’s another huge privilege that allows us these conversations.

We have a lot of big decisions coming up that mostly revolve around money and happiness and the co-existence of the two, and as hard as the discussion is, we’re dedicated to talking openly about our struggles each step of the way.”

Ultimatly, we all learn different lessons about money growing up. How do you plan to teach your kids the value of a dollar or a yuan?

KEEP READING: Giving Children the Gift of a Gratitude Attitude

Images: Unsplash