Do you believe in true love? We do! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and we’d like to share a few love stories from couples right here in Beijing. Forget the fairy tales of princesses being rescued from castles, here’s what love in the real world looks like.

We asked couples to share their stories and to give a piece of advice on how to keep relationships alive and thriving year after year. A few years ago I met an amazing couple whose love story warrants a Hallmark movie. Today, let’s meet Tom and Clare Starobynski, a couple who met as teens.

Can you tell us a bit about you and your partner?

We are from the USA and this is our fifth year in Beijing. We are both teachers and Tom is also a certified personal trainer.

How did you meet and who made the first move?

We met when we were 13 years old at an Irish Christmas party. Clare sent her younger brother over to say “my sister thinks your cute.” We dated for a little bit and then broke up. We met again the following year and have been together ever since. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

What do you love the most about your partner?

Tom: Clare is patient, loyal, and loves deeply.
Clare: Tom is loyal, supportive, and my #1 fan.

Is there something that you can’t stand about your partner? How do you handle it?

Clare: Not really – after all these years, we’ve learned to love one another’s “faults.” We can laugh now at the things that used to drive us crazy about each other. For example, Tom always said I have the worst fashion sense and it used to annoy him. Now he just laughs and says, “that’s quite an outfit.”

What’s the most valuable piece of relationship advice all couples should know?

Always have your partner’s back, always date your significant other, and learn to love the things you don’t like about your partner. As long as your partner has the most important quality to you, that is what matters most.

Images: Clare Starobynski

Do you believe in true love? We do! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and we’d like to share a few love stories from couples right here in Beijing. Forget the fairy tales of princesses being rescued from castles, here’s what love in the real world looks like.

We asked couples to share their stories and to give a piece of advice on how to keep relationships alive and thriving year after year. Here at jingkids, one of our absolute favorite places to eat is Larry the Bird. It’s been the place where we’ve had countless creative meetings, and it has become our unofficial tradition to bring any newbie on the team there to get to know them over the best roast chicken in Beijing. Why are we talking about food when this is a love story? Read on and you’ll see…

Today, we’re speaking to Ully and Shagi Defoe.

Can you tell us a bit about you and your partner?

Ully & Shagi: Hey, we are the DEFOES Both of us are islanders from opposite sides of the globe (Indonesia and Dominica, respectively) but we have lived and loved in Beijing for almost two decades, so technically we are also Beijingers! Ully is literally the best partner. Ully works at an international school and Shagi pushes creative and marketing for Larry the Bird.

How did you meet and who made the first move?

Shagi: We worked together in the Entertainment Industry at Club LA, a discotheque long gone. Well, technically Ully worked for me, haha. Her very easygoing personality made her very popular. She’s a social butterfly. Everyone knew her at the company but me, I guess. And one night, if I am not mistaken, it was the night Kardinal Offishall performed, she decided to poke me and say, “Do you not know who I am?” And me being professional as I don’t play while working, I said, “Do I need to?” Haha!
Ully: But later that night he asked for my number and asked me to have ice cream the next day, so I guess he was interested too! Haha. Long story short, almost 14 years later we are married with our beautiful daughter, Marley.

How did you know he/she was the one?

Ully: I feel like, for me, when my bf cheats and doesn’t try to apologize or make up for it, I would right away be done with him. But with Shagi, he went above and beyond to mend it so I gave him a real chance. And on top of it, I come from a big family. Him being able to handle my big, loud family and it [turning out]they loved him, that was a green light for me to move forward.
Shagi: Her spirit and generosity were an instant hit with me. She was someone I could def see myself kicking it [with]long-term.

What do you love the most about your partner?

Ully: The fact that I always come first .
Shagi: The fact that I always come first .

Is there something that you can’t stand about your partner? How do you handle it?

Ully: Shagi has always been or actually is still a very introverted person. He also likes to keep things to himself and thinks he can handle whatever bothers him himself. It took years for me to change that. I always ask him how his day went. And by doing it every day, it made him open up and now he tells me everything without me asking.
Shagi: My wife cares too much about everyone, so she puts everyone’s issues ahead of herself. She cares [so]deeply that it is actually a gift and a curse.

What’s the most valuable piece of relationship advice all couples should know?

Shagi: It’s a job. ROI is based on the investment put in. Not to sound too strict but you gotta work at it. Can’t get neglectful.
Ully: Just three things.
Communication is key! Always talk to each other no matter how bad things are.
Even with busy schedules, it is very important that you spend quality time [together].
Lastly, it is your relationship. Don’t let anybody else influence your decisions.

Images: Shagi Defoe

Do you believe in true love? We do! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and we’d like to share a few love stories from couples right here in Beijing. Forget the fairy tales of princesses being rescued from castles, here’s what love in the real world looks like.

We asked couples to share their stories and to give a piece of advice for how to keep relationships alive and thriving year after year. Today, let’s meet Camilla Kongshavn Jovanovic and Dimitrije Jovanovic.

Can you tell us a bit about you and your partner?

Camilla is from Norway/Thailand and Dimitrije is from Serbia. Camilla has been in China for the past 11 years and is a mother and an entrepreneur. Dimitrije has been in Beijing for nine years and is currently a PE teacher and developer at the Tsinghua International School.

How did you meet and who made the first move?

We met in a shared apartment. Camilla moved in with a friend of Dimitrije’s temporarily and Dimitrije was one of her roommates. He made the “first” move.

How did you know he/she was the one?

Dimitrije: She did not judge me for what I had, who I was, or where/how I lived at the time. I lived very simply in an old shared apartment, and that commonly put most women off of the thoughts of any serious relationship, or relationship at all for that matter, as it doesn’t scream wealth and success. After we connected it was just me she saw, nothing else, and that was unique to me, particularly because our backgrounds are so different. We didn’t have much growing up, and she had everything and more. She was very open and honest since day one and held nothing back. I also realized how easy it was to spend time with her, and how little it took to make each other happy and content. She truly just enjoyed my company and presence no matter what we did, which was mutual, and that made me realize she could make any day enjoyable.

Camilla: Combining what he mentioned, plus everything he gave away and did to simply be together with me was beyond anything I had ever experienced. He was willing and ready to give his whole life if he had to. He’s a man of his word, the most loving and dedicated.

What do you love the most about your partner?

For Dimitrije, it’s Camilla’s honest heart. For Camilla, it’s how much Dimitrije cares about his family.

Is there something that you can’t stand about your partner? How do you handle it?

There’s nothing that we can’t stand about each other. There are certain things of course we both need to work on to further strengthen our relationship, but we solve them through talk and by compromising.

What’s the most valuable piece of relationship advice all couples should know?

Trust each other unconditionally, speak up if something feels wrong, compromise – you’ve got to give a lot of yourself to reach a certain level of harmony, let go of the small stuff, support each other, show interest and love towards each other on a regular basis, speak to each other with respect and goodwill, and provide your partner with space if you see space is needed. Quality time is important – somehow get that into the hectic schedule.

Images: Camilla Kongshavn Jovanovic

Do you believe in true love? We do! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we’d like to share a few love stories from couples right here in Beijing. Forget the fairy tales of princesses being rescued from castles, here’s what love in the real world looks like.

We asked couples to share their stories and to shed a piece of advice for how to keep relationship alive and thriving year after year. Today, let’s meet Meng and Sidney Hardy.

Can you tell us a bit about you and your partner?

[Meng] have been here most of my life! I’m a hutong girl. My husband is from a small town in northern England and has been here for the past 1 1/2 years. He is the General Manager at the Conrad Beijing. I am the mother of our two children.

How did you meet and who made the first move?

We met via the classic friend of friends. Of course, I’m a shy traditional girl it was my man that made the first move. Lol.

How did you know he/she was the one?

I fell in love at once. Although I didn’t tell him straight away… It took him a while longer.

What do you love the most about your partner?

He is caring, responsible, and adaptable. My wife is the loveliest person I have ever met, he always says!

Is there something that you can’t stand about your partner? How do you handle it?

Having children with a person from a different culture is tough. We have a totally different mindset at times on how to approach things. But we take the best of both worlds and make the most of different points of view.

What’s the most valuable piece of relationship advice all couples should know?

Communicate, discuss then talk some more!

Images: Meng & Sidney Hardy

Are you still as head over heels in love with your partner as the day you first met? Share your love story with our readers and inspire our community as Valentine’s Day sneaks up around the corner again.

How did you meet? What was it about the other person that made you say “I’ve found my other half”? What’s your family’s advice for newlyweds on making it work in the long run?

Add Wilhelmina87 on WeChat to get in touch if you’d like to participate in this year’s Love is Forever series.

Images: Pexels

There’s an unofficial name for today – Twosday. It’s 2.22.2022 and it’s indeed a Tuesday. All around the world lovebirds are making today their wedding day, believing it to be the luckiest day of the year to tie the knot.

So, in the spirit of everlasting love, we’re dedicating all our posts to marriage today.

If you ever get invited to a Chinese wedding, you have to go! They’re super fun – at least for the guests! However, as our writer Nimo Wanjau explains, there are some essential things to know and expect before showing up on the big day.

Witness

In a Chinese wedding, there isn’t a signing of the marriage certificate after saying the vows, as this is done beforehand at the registrar’s office at the local government’s office. You will find that the ceremony is more of a presentation of the couple. Sometimes, the couple will have been legally married for weeks, sometimes years, before the wedding ceremony takes place.

Photographs

Well, you must have seen couples in the parks or famous landmarks in wedding attire getting photos taken. This is for the wedding album and/or banners at the wedding. The wedding album contains more romantic scenes than photos taken at the actual wedding. These photos are usually displayed at the wedding ceremony and at the couple’s home later on.

Gifts

Couples won’t have a registry of the things you can give for gifts but the custom is to give the couple money in red envelopes (or hongbao). The money shouldn’t be in multiples of four as this is considered a sign of bad luck. Additional note by editor: In these cases, the number 9 has a nice ring to it, as it sounds like “long-lasting” in Chinese, as in the phrase 长长久久 (Zhǎng cháng jiǔjiǔ).

Party favors

Most Chinese weddings will have a box filled with whatever the couple picks out. The favors are given or picked up at the end when the couple sees you off and gives thanks for attending, or leaves it at your seat when you arrive. Traditional party favors include candy and cigarettes, but nowadays they can include finer gifts like custom-designed toiletries, perfumes, or jewelry for guests to remember the special day.

Colors

Traditionally, wearing white was a big no-no as that’s reserved for funerals. However, now even the bride wears white. Dark colors such as black, dark blue, or gray should still be avoided as people don’t wear this. You can’t go wrong with anything red. Red is associated with success, prosperity, love, and loyalty – that’s why most of the decorations will also be red. Gold is also a good choice to pick as this is associated with wealth and fortune.

Couples will change attire twice, switching between Western and the Chinese qipao, depending on the preferences of what they want to wear and when.

Alcohol

Baijiu is serious business! At weddings, the newlywed will take a lap around the hall to toast with every table if not with every guest.

KEEP READING: Intriguing Pre-Marriage Rituals From Around The World

Images: BBC, Sourced from China Highlights

There’s an unofficial name for today – Twosday. It’s 2.22.2022 and it’s indeed a Tuesday. All around the world lovebirds are making today their wedding day, believing it to be the luckiest day of the year to tie the knot.

So, in the spirit of everlasting love, we’re dedicating all our posts to marriage today.

I don’t believe in love at first sight or relationships that are all sunshine and roses. Life isn’t a Disney movie. Relationships take work and it’s through trial, error, and plenty of mistakes along the way, that we learn about ourselves and our partners.

Deep inside the mountain of relationship advice piled on you by family and friends, chances are there’s at least one piece of good advice that you took to heart.

Today, on 2.22.2022, we’ve asked Beijing’s expat community to share with us some of the best relationship advice they’ve ever received.

“The hard times are the most important ones for the relationship. Value them.” – Carlos Ore

“After an argument, never go to bed without making peace (or love)!” – Alessia Chizzoniti

“Acknowledging all kinds of feelings instead of trying to fix them would really be the game-changer. Accepting the negative ones but not trying to fix them needs wisdom and bravery to practice. The value of all feelings in our relationship is all about being ‘felt’ but not being ‘fixed.'”  – Shu Qi

“Don’t talk about it with other people, talk about it with your partner. While your friends and family may have your best interest at heart, it’s not really their business.” – Yazmin Jamil

“[My husband] and I took PET (parent effectiveness training) when [our daughter]was about 1 year old. It actually helped us the most to communicate as a couple and business partners. 1) Active listening 2) How to send an ‘I’ message.” – Toni Ma

“Understand the Love Language of your partner.” – Angie Chan

While it’s undoubtedly important to give a relationship your all and to love your partner, there’s one piece of advice that came up multiple times, and it has nothing to do with another person.

“You have to love yourself first.”

What’s more, it’s important to recognize that when it comes to relationships, not every one of them works out. Some people come into your life only to teach you a valuable lesson and move on.

“If you have doubts whether if he loves you, then he probably doesn’t.” – Marlon Ma

KEEP READING: Love in the Time of Corona: Jim & Jen’s Expat Love Story

Images: Pexels

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and we want to celebrate the thing that makes us feel alive – Love; that many-splendored thing that’s better than ice cream; that comes in all shapes and sizes and forms not limited to the human race! We’re talking about… puppy love! Literally. We’re celebrating love in its pure, unadulterated form of tail wagging, wet kisses and furry cuddles. Check out the following “tails” of four-legged love from Beijing’s beloved animal rescue group Lost Puppies!

“And they called it puppy love…” ~ Paul Anka [Puppy Love]

Dakota and Loki: From the moment she first met him, she had an instant crush. He’s a bit stand-offish but I’ve noticed him being a bit protective when mean guys get close!

Murphy’s Law… of Love

Fur parent Jack says, “They have a gorgeous relationship. Murphy can’t be without Elsa ever, and Elsa can be quite cold towards other dogs but she always tries to look after Murphy. When he had the snip she was covering him up with a blanket whilst he was moping and cuddling up to him; always nibbling each other and playing and so on.” Follow Elsa and Murphy’s adventures on Instagram (elsa_and_murphy).

Poof! Thor In Love

Fur mom Bisera shares the love between lost puppy Poof and another lost puppy Thor, seen in their adorable dancing moves!

Grizzly and Reya – Sibling Love 

Furry Fun Fact: Did you know that dogs have the same hormones as humans such as oxytocin which is involved with feeling love and affection for others?

However, a dog does not experience the full range of emotions like humans do. …”we know that the assortment of emotions available to the dog will not exceed that which is available to a human who is two to two-and-a-half years old. This means that a dog will have all of the basic emotions: joy, fear, anger, disgust, and, yes, love, but the dog does not experience the more complex emotions like guilt, pride, and shame. [Modern Dog Magazine, “Which Emotions Do Dogs Actually Experience?”] 

Tails of Bromance

Nanook and Joey, 3 years and counting!

Iroh and Ginger

Lost Puppies is a non-profit team of volunteers focused on rescuing dogs across Beijing to give them a happy and healthy life. All Lost Puppies rescues are spayed / neutered to help minimize the stray dog population in Beijing from growing out of control. To foster a pup, make a donation or help in other ways, scan the QR code below!

KEEP READING: Hope and Love; Making a Difference at Age 11

Images: Courtesy of pet owners in The Lost Puppies Network WeChat group

Every year when Chinese Valentine’s – aka QiXi Festival – rolls around, English-language WeChat accounts publish long articles about the holiday’s origins using the same, boring graphics of a boy and a girl in front of a moon on a bridge of birds. Click here if you really want to learn the story behind QiXi.

This year, instead of retelling that myth, Jingkids is sharing some epic real-life love stories.

At the risk of sounding cynical or jaded, it takes a special type of romantic to believe in love at first sight. For most of us, such a perfect world only exists in fairy tales. And yet, even the most hardened skeptic has to admit that sometimes fairy tales come true, and today’s couple is living proof.

Svetlana is a Russian native who spent most of her life in Ukraine, while Carlos was born in Peru but grew up in France. In truly international fashion, the two met in Tianjin. They’ve been together for a decade and recently welcomed the arrival of their daughter Mia. Talk about a love story of global proportions!

One fateful night ten years ago, Svetlana and Carlos both decided to go dancing with their friends, not knowing it would be a night that would forever change their lives. The couple met while clubbing in Tianjin and they pretty much remember the night the same way. “Oh, it was a love at first sight,” says Svetlana. “I was hanging out with my friends when I felt someone looking at me. I turned and I saw him, and that’s it, I think it just clicked! That night we danced, we talked, and he gave me his scarf when I was leaving, as it was cold and he wanted to protect me. His scarf had his smell that still gives me goosebumps.”

The night they met

Likewise, Carlos remembers, “I was in a club with my friends, looking at the people dancing. Then I saw that gorgeous woman standing, she looked at me and I thought to myself, ‘She has to be mine.'” At that moment, they knew that they’d found the one, and that they forever belonged to each other.

Shortly thereafter, Carlos texted Svetlana and asked her out for what would be their first date. The two went to a Spanish restaurant close to Svetlana’s home. “I was so nervous, I talked so much…. And in one moment he kissed me, and it felt so romantic, so gentle,” she remembers.

We asked the couple about some of their most memorable romantic gestures, however, they were hardpressed to come up with a single moment. “He did so many romantic gestures,” says Svetlana, “like proposing to me in a most romantic way, with Mariachi song – he couldn’t find Mariachi band so he found a violinist and asked him to learn a Mariachi love song that I like so much; he kissed me on the top of the Eiffel tower, which was my dream since I was a little girl – to kiss my future husband there; he made my wedding dream come true – having a wedding in a French Renaissance castle, and on and on and on! He is the best (and most romantic) husband ever!”

The couple truly enjoys a fairytale relationship that they’ve carefully cultivated with plenty of unconditional love. And for them, the best part about their relationship is that they’re going through everything together. Now that baby Mia is in the picture, their love’s grown even deeper and each day is a blessing.

KEEP READING: Mandarin Monday: Sweet Things to Tell Your Loved Ones This Qixi Festival

Images: Svetlana Ore