Children are precious and oh-so-vulnerable. In a perfect world, we would stay with them 24/7 until they went off to college. But in our imperfect world, Daddy and Mommy may have to go to work, or they may just need a break from baby duties once in a while. In comes a hired caregiver to help you out! But leaving your kid with someone other than a trusted family member may leave you feeling understandably anxious. So what can you do to help alleviate some of that anxiety?

Our very own Beijing go-to group for all things baby–Bumps2Babies–was recently abuzz with discussion around nanny cameras. Many parents felt the need to have cameras installed inside the house when they leave their precious little ones with an ayi. Others reasoned that the fundamental trust that should exist between employer and caregiver is broken when you install cameras, and that installing cameras invades the caregiver’s privacy. But are you invading their privacy or are you simply taking no chances? Because, let’s face it, there are whackos out there dressed in caregiver attire!

A good nanny is a valuable one.

So, should we be spying on the nannies?

Let’s look at the yeas and nays of nanny cams, as well as find out what is allowed under Chinese law.

The Yeas:

• Terrible, unthinkable acts of abuse by caregivers have been caught on camera, including incidents where young children were kicked around like rag dolls in their own homes, or where elderly women and men were tortured in nursing homes. 
• Suspicions are simply that–suspicions. Doing anything rash, or firing your nanny because you suspect her of theft or mistreating the kids, may land you in employment tribunals being sued by the nanny. Nanny cams can help you resolve suspicions and get concrete evidence of abuse inside your home.
• Even if your nanny has the best intentions, mistakes or accidents can still happen, so in the event of a moment of simple negligence, or if your nanny herself faints or becomes otherwise incapacitated, you can keep up with what’s happening and potentially save a life.
• Nanny cams are a relatively inexpensive investment. 

The Nays:

The temptation for parents to install nanny cameras in their homes is perfectly logical. I probably would too if I had to leave my child with a nanny for more than three hours every single day, but I don’t because I am a stay-at-home mom. 

But while it is understandable that parents will install spy cameras to watch what goes on with the children and the nanny at home, have we also thought about how violating it is to the nannies’ privacy? 

Nannies working in households where cameras are installed have reported incidents where their employers micromanaged them, causing extreme unease. Many have said that employers would call them every minute or hour asking about the things they had observed via the camera. One nanny recalled her boss asking her things like “You were in the bathroom for so long, what were you doing? What is my son holding in his left hand? Why is that toy lying on the floor? Why did you sit down for so long?” The nanny could barely scratch an itch without the parent noticing it on the nanny cam.

Nanny cam use may also show a lack of trust in your children’s caregiver. If they feel you can’t trust them, they won’t feel too good coming to work. 

Not to mention, we’ve all heard of hacks in security systems. Imagine the nanny camera is somehow hacked into, and strangers with nefarious objectives are then able to watch your nanny and child’s every move! In China and many other parts of the world, the nanny CAN sue you if her privacy is breached in this way.

Those against the nanny cam argue that when you start getting suspicious about the nanny you can simply get rid of her. No need to install a camera. Better still, you could just pop in back home unannounced, the reasoning being that this can tell you a lot about how responsible your nanny is. These occasional, unexpected visits can keep your nanny from getting too complacent, and save you a buck or two with the nanny cameras.

Check if you have to act on that gut feeling.

Let’s Hear It From the Parents:

Kenneth, a father of four, says he would absolutely install a nanny cam: “ Trust or lack thereof isn’t so much the issue here. It is just to have the peace of mind that your children are being well taken care of. Like the Russians say, “Trust–but verify.”

Stella and her husband, Mark, both had highly demanding jobs in the banking sector. There was no other choice but to hire a nanny for their two children. They didn’t install nanny cameras in the house, something Stella says she regrets. “My son told us a few years ago, long after the nanny had left, that she [the nanny]used to pinch him to make him eat his meals up quicker. She would also serve the children baked beans and nothing else, days on end. To this day my son does not eat baked beans. Had I had a camera installed, I’d have found all this out a little earlier.” 

Having trust in your nanny is important but it may not be enough. “I installed nanny cameras in my house,” said Augusta, a mother of three, “because [my children]were younger than five and I felt they were so vulnerable I needed that camera for my peace of mind when I was away from home.”

If You Must Have a Camera:

What one can lawfully get away with when it comes to cameras and monitoring depends on which country you live in. You should check the local laws on surveillance and individual privacy before turning into Inspector Clouseau! We asked a Chinese litigation lawyer to clarify what the law here says when it comes to home surveillance:

• The camera needs to be set up in and around your own home, and not in the wider neighborhood, or on every road that the nanny may travel upon with your little precious one–that would be spying on the entire neighborhood (Hint: For tracking the nanny and baby outside your home, buy a GPS tracker and place it in the diaper bag area of the baby stroller).
• In China, there’s no law that requires you to inform the nanny about the presence of cameras. So, potentially, you could go real undercover detective and place those teeny-weeny little cameras in a flower vase, a stuffed animal, or in a clock. However, informing the ayi of the presence of the cameras is something you might wish to do out of courtesy. Let her know that you have no suspicions about her actions around the kids. Reassure her that you’re just taking extra steps to make sure you can feel certain about your children’s safety when you’re not around. 
• The law in most countries in the world, including China, is clear on where cameras should be placed–and the bathroom is not one of these places. You can’t install cameras where the nanny sleeps or changes clothes either.
• Never install any sort of surveillance software on the nanny’s phone. This is sneaky, wrong, psycho, and, most importantly, illegal.

With all this said, though, to a great extent our identities and privacy are no longer ours.

Smile! We are all on camera.

We live in a world where we are constantly being watched. On the streets or in our jobs there’s always closed-circuit television (CCTV) watching our every move. In our own homes we are (knowingly or unknowingly) watched too. If your home appliance connects to the Internet, chances are you are being watched. Your mobile phone, TV, remote controls, toaster, clocks, or coffee machine may all be “tracking” your words, thoughts, habits, and behavior.

So, given this, why shouldn’t we track nannies who are caring for our vulnerable children and elderly in our own homes?

KEEP READING: In Favor of Guasha Over the Knife, Plus Win a Jade Guasha From The Bulk House!

Images: Pexels

When I was pregnant with my son, one of the first items on my mom-to-be-list was a baby monitoring device. I was fortunate enough to be the recipient of a baby shower where guests gave generously, and I became the proud owner of what happened to be a state-of-the-art nanny cam. Now, when I was thinking baby monitor, I envisioned one of those traditional systems that resembled a plastic walkie-talkie and essentially just picked up static from the other room. I had no idea how this little item had evolved into a phenomenon that now has its very own large positioning in the mom and baby market.

Not only can you monitor your baby while at home, you can keep in digital proximity with your little one, wherever you are!

There are many reasons why parents may feel the need to purchase a baby monitor. Most families in Beijing consist of working parents who have been charged with trying their best to select a suitable candidate as an ayi to care for their little one. The stress associated with choosing right is often compounded by how we can ensure we have a handle on what’s going on behind our closed doors when we’re not home. The situation can be worse for single parent families who have no choice but to work full-time.

Leaving your precious little baby or child with a stranger for long periods can be stressful for both you and your partner. My ayi was hired three months after I gave birth, and this was one of the most frightening aspects of new motherhood for me. I wanted to go back to work, but with the certainty that my child would be cared for in the same way in which he would be if I were home.

Our priority is the health and safety of our child, so installing a baby monitor in the home can be one way of ensuring that you can keep on an eye on them and your ayi while at work. It’s important to note that a remote baby monitor is more of a preventative tool than a measure taken to show proof of undesirable behavior or at worst employee misconduct, and therefore the idea is not to hide the baby monitor or nanny cam, but for you to use it in partnership with an ayi or baby care provider who has full knowledge that you are aware of what’s going on.

There are a few good reasons to install a baby monitor in your home, which may not be as obvious as some. I’ll start with the ones we’re all familiar with, and hopefully the last few will have you thinking about other ways you can use a nanny cam:

• To protect your child and ensure that they are being treated with the love and care that they deserve when you’re not home.
• So you don’t miss out on precious moments. I spend ten hours outside of the home each day. I don’t want to miss out on baby’s first smile, hesitant steps, or any ad hoc moment that will fill you with joy.
• To soothe your baby if they’re upset. I can speak to my son any time and he will hear my voice (see review below). I can sing him a song, or have a quick mom and baby chat, so that he feels comforted by the sound of my voice.
• To interact with your child and the ayi. You can join in with family activities remotely, such as play time or homework time, depending on the age of your kids.
• So you can chat with your partner in the play area, from the office or hotel room, if you’re working on location. You can watch and interact as baby is feeding or settling down for the night.

There are many different cams on the market, so how to choose the right one for you and the family? My recommendation is the YI Dome, which has the following features:

• SD Card Slot
• 2-way Communication 1080p Resolution
• 112 degree wide angle lens
• Pan & Tilt (345 x 115 degrees)
• Digital zoom on app (x4)
• IR night time vision
• Cloud storage option
• Motion Detection
• Multiple mounting options

Pros

• Fairly easy to set up. You will need to connect the dome to your internet, and then the devices you wish to have access to its camera
• Well priced
• Nice design

Cons

• Sometimes there can be a sound delay

For me, this is one of the best options for a remote baby monitoring system that can also be used when you’re in the home but perhaps preparing dinner, or winding down in the evening and still want to keep an eye on baby. You can receive live feeds to all your devices, and as long as you have Wi-Fi you can be in constant contact with your child anywhere in the world. To top it off, you can share snaps from these live feeds with friends and family using your smart phone.

Final Score

9/10

Photos: Pixabay

Do you remember the times when you were a jet-set, unanchored, twentysomething, all bright-eyed and ready to experience the world? It probably seems like forever ago that you last took a speedy motor-scooter down a windy Thai jungle road, or went free-diving with whale sharks in the Philippines. Being a parent has that “remarkable” ability to put an end to your adventurous endeavors and firmly plant you down to a more survivalist plane of existence. How am I going to pay for preschool, when’s the next vaccine, or what’s this weird rash making my child’s young life hell?

With all of these things in mind, my wife and I decided it was nigh time to go on a late honeymoon. By late, I mean three years late and two years after our son was born. It was the trip of a lifetime, and a much-needed break from the rat race that we are currently experiencing. We went to Spain and Italy, and the best part of all was that it was just us. We decided to leave our son, whom we adore and cater to his every need, at home with our mother-in-law and cousin. A proper honeymoon it was!

We were ultimately apprehensive about going through with this at the beginning and had no idea how the little guy would react to our absence. Would we be subjecting these visiting family members to two and a half weeks of balling and screams for mama and baba? What sort of things should we prepare for them while we were gone? What’s our plan in case of an emergency? How much money should we leave for food and fun? We had tons of questions we were asking each other, and we effectively had to play it by ear like jazz musicians. But, what I’m getting at is that there is a lot that needs to be considered when you leave your daughter or son for the first time.

To help you be a little more prepared if you and your spouse are considering to attempt this feat of temporary child abandonment, we’ve compiled a small list of things you need to keep in mind before setting off on a not entirely family-friendly adventure abroad.

Leave some money and a credit card for emergencies

The money is, of course, for everything ranging from food to entertainment and to keep everyone happy. We left around RMB 4,000, which ended up being more than enough during our two-week vacation, but this number might be adjusted depending on what type of goods your caregiver prefers to provide for your child. The credit card is available in case the money runs out, or there are any other unforeseen emergencies that need to be handled in your absence.

Have an emergency plan

Speaking of emergencies, we had several plans in place, ready for a couple of scenarios. We listed the emergency numbers for both local and international hospitals, and told Grandma to use DiDi to this hospital if it was nothing serious, or call this number for the ambulance if anything should happen. It is better to leave nothing to chance, especially with our son, who is quickly transforming into a sort of hybrid between a lion, dinosaur, and possibly a pirate. Make sure to check out our guide for what to do when things go wrong here.

Make some extra food that can be frozen and used for a quick meal

What I usually do is make up a large pot of gumbo or chicken noodle soup, or our ayi will make a large batch of dumplings which we will then freeze. This will not only prevent everyone from eating out all the time and spending all of your money, but will also help your visiting caregivers to relax and not have to worry about planning and prepping each meal.

Establish times when you would like them to be available for a video chat

This can get complicated when in different time zones, so it’s best to establish a block of time when you can all be available to check in and to make sure everything is OK. Our two-year-old boy isn’t the best communicator primarily through video chatting, as he’s more interested in his LEGO than the video apparition of his parental units, but daily communication is excellent to make sure all is OK and for general peace of mind.

Get one of those nifty nanny cams

I’ll admit that my Big Brother fear was significant when my spouse ordered this little Wi-Fi operated camera from Taobao, and for good reasons that I won’t get into here. But the truth of the matter is that this also provides a lot of security when it comes to knowing that everything is OK with your little one, and entertainment in watching how they all interact together on a daily basis.

Bring back gifts for everyone who enabled you to experience absolute pleasure

Finally, if your gratitude isn’t expressed through the exchange of heartfelt gifts, then chances are slim that you and your spouse will ever be able to repeat this exercise in adult-oriented freedom ever again. Bring back enough trinkets, chocolates, and cosmetics to make everyone feel loved, and only once gratitude has been expressed all around, and everyone is happy, can you begin planning your next trip. Bon voyage!

Photo: Kipp Whittaker