With the recent uptick in COVID-19 cases not only in Beijing, but in neighboring Hebei Province, and tighter restrictions concerning the movement of Beijing residents, there is a note of fear passing through Beijing’s parents that schools could potentially be shut down again as a safety precaution, as they did early last year. With such fear and uncertainty in mind, parents and students might be considering how to strategize how to make the best of the rest of the school year. Making education-related New Year’s resolutions could be the key to success for most students. But as Kindall Tyson, M.Ed. LPC, NCC; Licensed Professional Counselor, working as a Senior School Social-Emotional Counselor at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB), explained, it is not quite as cut and dry as blindly setting goals.

So what does it truly take to make winning education-related New Year’s resolutions? And do parents and students even need to make them? Beijingkids spoke to Alessia Chizzoniti, Beijing mom of three to give a parent’s perspective on setting these all-important education-related New Year’s resolutions. For those who know Chizzoniti, she is not one to hold back, so brace yourselves for the unvarnished truth.

Beijingkids: How important is it to set new year’s resolutions?

Alessia Chizzoniti: Absolutely overrated!

BJK: What are the psychological effects and benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Some people need to have a clear target in order to achieve their goals, while others will only accumulate stress. It is only up to you. I personally believe that the end of a year, in general, is a very delicate time of the year; cold, vacations, family time, social pressure, etc. Not the perfect time for the clarity we need when setting resolutions. Also, what if something unexpected comes up along the way – which is not considered in the original plan?

BJK: What are some negative or toxic education-related New Year’s resolutions that both parents and students set?

AC: Improve in this, get better grades is that… Nope. This is not how life works. This is not how we can help our children “improve”. Parents (and educators, I have to say) tend to focus on the performance, on the result. Not on the path.

BJK: How can setting such resolutions affect a student’s mentality and overall educational performance?

AC: If a plant is dying (and this is very common in my house), I move the plant, I question the environment (too much light? Not enough water? The cat is chewing on the leaves?), I bing “how to take care of a lemon tree”. If a child is not “performing”, we stress the child out, we put the blame on him/her but we almost never question the environment, the path, the emotional component. Fewer resolutions, more observation. Education should guide both students and their families, should foster the innate love of learning, should encourage children to discover their talent. It can be reduced to a number.

BJK: What are some useful ways to set attainable education-related New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Talk to your child. Ask your child if there is anything she/he did not enjoy or anything she/he is not feeling comfortable with. Ask your child what would she/he do in order to feel more confident. Set a sort of deadline (this may vary depending on your child’s age) and check on it and with her/him on a regular basis.

BJK: What are some words, phrases, or language that you would advise parents and students to refrain from using when it comes to setting or assessing these goals?

AC: Grade; performance; good job; poor job; better/worse than; lazy; smart… Basically, anything that enhances the sense of performance and competition and any sort of label. Give your child constructive comments, instead.

BJK: What are some tips to help students and parents to set attainable and helpful education-based New Year’s resolutions?

AC: Just connect and talk. Students need to connect to their inner self, understand where they are headed, and do not be afraid to ask for support. Parents should observe more, listen more. I would dare to say, research less. No Bing can help you better than a healthy talk with your child. Children of any age, as young as 6 months (and younger!) can make their feelings very clear to their parents. Connect, talk, and find a viable way to achieve healthy goals.

BJK: Any words of encouragement for Beijing families?

AC: “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it” – Maya Angelou.

Photos: Courtesy of Alessia Chizzoniti, Unsplash

Attention! Attention! This is a public service announcement!

This is the time of year when, like caterpillars transforming into butterflies, your friends and families will start drafting soliloquies titled ‘new year, new me’ and flooding your social media timeline. This is also the time of year when they might call you to account for the person you have been throughout this year and inquire on the grand changes you plan to make to your life to be a better person in the new year, no matter what shape or form that might come in. In other words ladies and gentlemen, this is New Year’s Resolution season! But the question is, despite our best intentions and efforts, do New Year’s resolutions actually work or do they best us each year?

Beijingkids posed this question to Mina Yan – Managing Editor of beijingkids and new mom of one,  He Siyu  – beijingkids head of HR and mom of adorable twins, Dave Hanssen – photographer and dad of two, and Hannah Northcott – Beijing mom and co-founder of WellWomen, middle school drama, dance teacher, and theater director at International School of Beijing (ISB), on what the good, the bad, and the ugly are when it comes to the infamous New Year’s Resolutions, and the answers were open, honest and quite amusing!

Mina Yan and daughter Aria

Beijingkids: What do you believe the secret to making and keeping realistic New Year’s resolutions is?

Mina Yan: In the past, my resolutions have always been something generic like losing weight and I’ve never been able to keep them for more than a few months. I think this year I’m going to set the same resolution but also give myself a target to reach like how many kilos to lose so that there’s a goal to work towards.

Dave Hanssen: I think the secret to keeping a New Years resolution is to not make one, why wait to make changes that you want to make on January 1st, why not start now?

He Siyu: My secret is making it step by step, lots of tiny New Year’s resolutions are easier to make and keep.

Hannah Northcott: 2021 is an extraordinary year. We’re still living through what feels like a never-ending cycle of COVID cases and waking-up to a new year unfortunately is not the magic wand that will make all of our problems go away.

So what do we do? Give yourself more time.

Bill Gates shared that “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”

Instead of making a new year’s resolution,  what if you dream of the truest, most beautiful version of yourself, your life, and your relationships that you can imagine in ten years?

Dream big and write it all down. You don’t have to share it with anyone. It’s for you.

What would the winter of 2031 look like? How would you start your day? Where do you live? Who do you live with? What do you do? How do the things look and smell like, around you?

Debbie Millman, one of the most influential designers of today teaches about the “Ten Year Plan for a Remarkable Life.” Check out the writing prompt that she uses in the Tim Ferris Podcast

Being honest about where you’re at and gaining clarity on where you want to go, will give you a compelling reason to stick with your goals or new year’s resolution.

He Siyu

Bjk: What are some good, bad, and outright crazy resolutions you made in 2019 rolling into 2020?

MY: Well… I wanted to be more social and go to the gym more but 2020 put a dent in those plans.

DH: For 2019 I didn’t make any resolutions

HSY: Moving into a bigger apartment. (Failed). Everything about my kids goes well. (Succeeded). Be rich. (Failed)

HN: I wanted to learn five new dishes and made three – mango salsa, mango refrigerated cake, and colored pancakes. I’m like the equivalent of a twelve-year-old in the kitchen but perhaps adding to my culinary repertoire can be a goal in 2021 (this is where my husband, Steve will insert a joke about my many adventures in the kitchen or the lack of it…)

On the flip side, one of the things that I journaled in 2019 was, “I will make mornings magical.”

My friend Rebecca and I, created and practiced a daily routine called Magical Morning early in 2020 to get us through our lowest point of COVID and since then have shared it with other women through blog posts and a virtual course.

Hannah Northcott with her adorable daughters

Bjk: What has 2020 taught you about New Year’s resolutions?

MY: 2020 made me realize that I don’t need to go big to keep to my resolutions. For example, if I want to work out more I don’t need to splurge on a super expensive gym membership. Youtube videos work just fine as long as I can set a clear goal to follow.

DH: 2020 has taught me that there is no time like the present to make a change, no need to wait till January 1st, 2021.

HSY: “Be rich” never comes true.

HN: I learned to be adaptable and flexible – to let go of control, especially on the things that I had no control over because the way we dealt with the uncertainty of the global pandemic affected our peace and joy.

Dave Hanssen, his sons, and their cat. Can’t forget the cat

Bjk: What is your biggest New Year’s resolution moving into the year 2021?

MY: To lose the pregnancy weight and to find a balance between my job and family life.

DH: My biggest New Years resolution for 2021 is to not make a New Years resolution

HSY: Same as 2020, moving into a bigger apartment with my family.

HN: From someone who used to be on the “go big or go home train,” I want to make subtle shifts to becoming an essentialist – to choose what matters and let go of the things that no longer align with my mind, body, heart, and soul.

KEEP READING: New Year’s Resolution: The Good, the Bad, and the Truly Hilarious! (Part 1)

Photos: Courtesy of Mina Yan, Dave Hansen, Hannah Northcott, He Siyu, Unsplash

Once Beijing families come back down from the wonderous cheerful high of the festive season, they will have to settle back into life. Parents, students, and schools alike will be entirely consumed by the second half of the year and what that might potentially mean for students’ results. It is normal for parents and students to set study-related New Year’s resolutions, be it increasing study time or employing the services of a competent tutor, or even kids being enrolled in extra-curricular classes. But are all of these resolutions helpful in the long run?

With traditional pedagogical ideas and practices upended thanks to COVID-19, this year has been a source of great anxiety for educators, students, and families alike. In a bid to try and reclaim ‘lost time’ spent on e-learning, parents stand the risk of putting their children under increasing pressure to excel in their studies. It is important for parents and educators to consider how best to assist students to set attainable study-related New Year’s resolutions. We spoke to Kindall Tyson, M.Ed. LPC, NCC; Licensed Professional Counselor, working as a Senior School Social-Emotional Counselor at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB). She is also the owner of  ‘Aspire Counseling & Wellness Center, PLLC‘. We asked Tyson how best to go about setting these all-important New Year’s resolutions.

Kindall Tyson

Beijingkids (BJK): How important is it to set new year’s resolutions?

Kindall Tyson (KT): New Year’s resolutions can be a source of inspiration for people to begin their year in a more productive, goal-oriented manner. They can provide hope for those who seek to better themselves and although some people that set resolutions do not follow through and complete them all, setting a resolution can demonstrate that you possess belief and hope in your ability to change your habits and work toward being the best version of yourself.

BJK: What are the psychological effects and benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions?

KT: Setting New Year’s resolutions gives people something to look forward to, something to work toward, and opportunities to make desired changes in their lives. Some benefits of resolutions are that they can give your life an added sense of purpose. Resolutions allow you to be more action-oriented toward your goals and realize the changes that you desire to bring forth into your life. Additionally, resolutions provide you the opportunity to prioritize your needs and practice self-care. The essence of setting resolutions is identifying what you need in order to be the best version of yourself and grow in specific areas; therefore, setting resolutions and implementing them can be viewed as an additional way of honoring yourself and prioritizing your needs. Lastly, when you follow through on your resolutions, there is a sense of accomplishment that you feel from enduring the process of setting the goal, identifying the action steps, and implementing the plan. While most resolutions aren’t completed, the ones that are can provide the impetus to keep setting goals and breaking them down into actionable steps in order for you to realize incremental success.

“It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths”

BJK: What are some negative education-related New Year’s resolutions that both parents and students set?

KT: Parents and students sometimes set unrealistic goals that can cause anxiety in students. It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths and areas of growth and provide opportunities for balance when educating their children. Furthermore, when setting goals, I believe it’s important that the goals are meant to enrich and improve the student’s holistic life instead of scheduling them in more activities to keep up with other students. Again, this is a prime opportunity for students to enhance their skill set and gifts in areas that they are interested in.

BJK: How can setting such resolutions affect a student’s mentality and overall educational performance?

KT: If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals that make academic life more challenging, students could begin to procrastinate, experience symptoms of anxiety, experience symptoms of depression, and potential feelings of inadequacy if the goals implemented are at too high of a threshold for the student to realize success. It’s imperative, again, for parents and students to engage in consistent, open, and honest dialogue about their academic and personal needs and wants and for them to be listened to and taken seriously.

“If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals, students could begin to procrastinate.”

BJK: What are some useful ways to set attainable education-related New Year’s resolutions?

KT: The new year offers opportunities for us to grow and develop in myriad ways. All goals related to learning do not have to be tied to scholastic achievement. Parents and students may consider setting family goals, such as doing a book reading challenge which will improve students’ vocabulary, foster their love of reading (hopefully), and allow the family to engage in healthy, growth-oriented competition. Additionally, parents and students can focus on getting involved in a new hobby or learning a new skill, such as drawing, writing poetry, ceramics, or skateboarding. The goal does not have to be tethered to an academic pursuit in order for learning to take place. Participating in these types of activities can bolster a student’s sense of accomplishment and enhance their self-esteem while, hopefully, strengthening the family dynamic.

BJK: What are some words, phrases, or language that you would advise parents and students to refrain from using when it comes to setting or assessing these goals?

KT: I believe that it’s important to praise incremental growth; it’s easier to work toward challenging goals when you celebrate small successes. Therefore, I would advise parents to minimize their comparison behaviors- comparing their child’s progress to that of other siblings or other students. Additionally, parents should be more encouraging when their children begin trying new things, so stating that they have to be perfect from the onset could be harmful. It’s imperative to recognize that the expert was once a novice, and that mastery takes time. Lastly, encourage your children through their failures. Failure is a hallmark of success, and those that fail successfully and are able to be resilient enough to get back up and keep trying will experience victory in the long run. So, it’s important for parents not to focus too much on failure as a finality, but to help their children reconceptualize failure as the building block to success.

“Try not to attempt too much at one time.”

BJK: What are some tips to help students and parents to set attainable and helpful education-based New Year’s resolutions?

KT: Instead of seeking to make New Year’s Resolutions that are academic in nature, I would encourage parents and students to relax and enjoy the process. If they notice that there are areas that they can grow in, set some realistic goals, and break those down into actionable steps. Try not to attempt too much at one time; that can be overwhelming. Take it one step at a time and make sure to include the students in the process. Additionally, if you are struggling with doing the aforementioned, work with your student’s counselor to help him or her figure out a more concrete and actionable plan of action. Enjoy the process of self-discovery.

BJK: Any words of encouragement for Beijing families?

KT: I would like families to remember that we are still living through a pandemic; therefore, our normal manner of functioning is different. While education is of the utmost importance, prioritizing their mental health and wellbeing is THE most important thing right now. Be supportive of them, pay attention to any changes in their mood or behaviors, spend more time together communing as a family, get outside and engage in nature more often, do family-oriented things that have nothing to do with school, set some new family traditions. Listen to them; have more conversations, eat more family dinners. All-in-all, spend more time together. Doing so will better inoculate them against the negative effects of trauma and help them along the path to healing and normalcy.

KEEP READING: Best Buddies with Zhichao: Harrow Students Learn from Children With Learning Differences

Photos: Courtesy of Kindall Tyson, Unsplash

Let’s be real, New Year’s resolutions are notoriously difficult to keep up. Maybe it’s because of the capricious and arbitrary nature by which we decide to take them seriously — do you really need the start of a new year to overhaul some part of yourself that you’re unhappy with? Or maybe it’s because implementing a lifestyle change sounds all well and good when we’re enjoying the freedom of a holiday break, but becomes increasingly difficult to stick to as the drudgery of everyday life swallows up our routines, leaving little to no room for self-care and wellness.

Either way, it’s safe to say that we begin each year with the best of intentions (New Year, New You!), and come February, we’ve slipped back into our old habits and ways of being.

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be that way.

And with plant-based diets ever on the rise, many of you may be considering vegan or vegetarian diets as your resolution this year. After all, 2020 marks the peak of a predicted 17 percent growth in China’s vegan market, and we’re but a scant ten years away from a goal laid out in China’s 2016 Health Ministry Dietary Guidelines, which calls for a 50 percent reduction in meat consumption, nationwide, by 2030.

Statistics and figures notwithstanding, if you’re flirting with the idea of making 2020 the year you cut animal products from your repertoire, or if you’ve already made this change, then Moka Bros’ Veganuary promotion is for you.

During January and February, customers can get a Veganuary Punch Card from any Moka Bros location. Every vegan or vegetarian meal ordered earns you a punch on the card, and once you’ve accumulated ten punches, you’ll get a vegan or vegetarian Power Bowl on the house. It’s a pretty sweet deal, and the requisite incentive some of us need to successfully conquer our seemingly lofty resolutions.

Spicy Cauliflower Quinoa

According to Rocky Liu, a marketing manager at Moka Bros, the reasons for doing a promotion like this are two-fold. For one, a plant-based diet is in line with Moka Bros’ mission and vision. As Liu explained to beijingkids, “A healthy lifestyle begins with great food. Fresh, wholesome goodness prepared with love! The result; balance, flavor, and guilt-free goodness.”

Buddha Bowl

Similarly, Moka Bros’ head chef Daniel Urdanata states that “Leading a healthier lifestyle means something different to everyone. We believe in variety and balance. To us it’s about using the freshest produce we can get our hands on, and preparing it with health in mind.”

The second tenet of Moka Bros’ Veganuary promotion is steeped in their strong connection to the community and love of cooking. “We have good connections with our guests and some of them are vegan or vegetarian,” says Liu. “We share ideas and we work together to make things happen.”

Perhaps most importantly though, as Liu proudly states, and as many of their customers will attest to, “We are good at cooking, and we make plant-based food tasty for everyone.”

Moka Bros has three locations across Beijing. To find one near you, click here.

Photos: YHouse.com, Moka Bros

One recurring theme in all of the challenges I have faced this year is mental strength. Living alone, the trap of being connected all the time, problems back home — all of them have tested my mental capacity to the point that I experienced “China Days” in midsummer.

Just recently when another series of challenges came to my way, I held back, meditated, and followed the advice of a very good friend: “Every morning when you wake up, you have a choice to be happy or otherwise.”  This mantra has helped me find my way out of those dark days. It isn’t easy, but what she said makes sense. It is always up to you whether you choose to live a happy and stress-free life.

Isn’t that something that we always want? For some who make new life goals to ring in another year, doing anything related to being happy and stress-free always top their New Year’s lists. But sadly, not everybody achieves those resolutions past the first week of the year, or even succeeds at all by the year-end.

New Year’s resolutions are special because the start of another year symbolizes another chance to renew ourselves or reach what we’ve always dreamed of. And as we begin to think about our goals for 2019, we also need to take time to reflect and focus on what’s important. Practicing mindfulness is definitely a start to a great journey ahead. But how can you do it?

Know your intentions

It’s easy to list down goals, but ask yourself why you want to achieve them. Even if your reasons might be anchored to your way of life or habits, go deeper and look further. It will take time and experience to know the “why” of your intentions, but that’s OK – we are all a work in progress!

Enjoy the journey, but don’t get distracted

Don’t let stumbling blocks on the way stop you from achieving your goal. There will be ways to get past these blocks. So if your goal is to lose weight, you have to identify the possible blocks – perhaps an exercise schedule, dietary changes, and the like – and try to focus on how you can achieve the same result without spending too much effort and instead enjoying the process even more.

Revisit your behaviors

It’s been said that doing something for 21 consecutive days make it a habit. Is it a good habit, though? Or perhaps we have set daily routines which may not be beneficial in the long run. Take a look at these apparently ingrained behaviors, because they affect the actions that you want to change or improve in the upcoming year.

Be kind to yourself

As stated above, we are a work in progress. Life is unpredictable and stress is a normal part of it. It’s OK if we don’t live up to our expectations. So always be kind to yourself, and slowly learn to be aware of yourself through mindfulness practices. When we bring our attention to our awareness, we let our minds wander and recognize our intentions or aspirations.

Photo: luizclas from Pexels 

Like most of us, your New Year’s resolutions are probably run-of-the-mill: be nicer to people, get in shape, and so on. Easier said than done. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Be it the health of body or soul, we’ll give you hints on where to start. Behold the guide to giving a serious try to your New Year resolutions in Beijing.

Health

Veganuary
China’s vegan population is growing, as can be seen from the vegan burgers, restaurants, and markets sprouting up around town. Thanks to that, going vegan seems less and less intense. And also, Veganuary is now here! Sign up here (English and Chinese) to get daily tips, emails, recipes, and whatever else the journey takes from the Veganuary team.

Guava Pass
Finding a place to work out that would not be boring torture or drain your wallet may prove hard, and the lack of bilingual options can also be a challenge for expats. That’s all the more reason to get a month-long membership with Guava Pass, which gives you full access to over a thousand classes in Beijing. Classes on offer include ballet, yoga, circuit training, HIIT (high-intensity interval training), Pilates, and Martial arts.

TRIBE Nutrition
Whether you need to slim down or want to try a vegetarian meal, TRIBE have it all, and bring it to your door every day. Everybody who signs up for a TRIBE Nutrition meal plan becomes a member of a very special club which means you’ll get invited to some events, activities, and giveaways organized by TRIBE and their partners, like fitness and wellness classes, TRIBE merchandise giveaways, and parties with a focus on organic fun.

Learning

Mandarin Courses
Don’t put it off any longer—2019 is the year to boost your Mandarin! The joy of finally being able to independently order food, buy tickets, or befriend your neighbors is the biggest payback for the hours bent over a book or rolling your tongue into new shapes. Purple Bamboo Chinese School has a special New Year’s gift which includes free classes whenever you purchase Chinese courses (add WeChat ID: PurpleBamboo-Laura for more information). Also, Culture Yard is offering discounted Mandarin courses this winter for a variety of learning levels. Starting January 7, the course will last four weeks, three hours per day. Meanwhile,

Read more
Finding the books you are looking for in Beijing is not always easy. Amazon and Taobao can be helpful, but even those sometimes fail. Then there are times when you simply want to read something you found while browsing the endless shelves of a nicely-decorated bookstore. Apart from The Bookworm, there are several popular bookstores around the city offering a good collection of English books. Our recommendation list: Page One, Sanlian Taofen Bookstore, Wangfujing Foreign Language Bookstore, and One Space.

Experiences

Animal Welfare
In need of some puppy love? Getting a pet is a bigger responsibility than expected, which leads to shelters filling up with abandoned dogs and cats. Beijing has quite a few animal aid organizations running. Get in touch with Little Adoption Shop and ask about volunteering possibilities there or at other rescue places if you want to donate your time rather than money.

Volunteering
After getting so much, a new year is a good time to give back. Check our blog for the volunteering opportunities around Beijing to donate your time and put a smile on a child’s face.

Minimize
The feeling of uneasiness at home is more common than we think. The place where we should feel safe and sound too often grows uncomfortable because of clutter. Donate what you don’t have room for through your WeChat second-hand groups, or join the Clothing Auction group (leave a comment if you’d like to join the group) which hosts clothing swaps regularly to get rid of clothes you haven’t worn for the last six months.

More by this author here.

Images: Fluentu, Veganuary, Acupuncture, Little Adoption Shop, courtesy of venues 

These works of art are courtesy of students from Migrant Children’s Foundation (MCF), a non-profit organization that works with migrant communities in Beijing. These young artists are taught by Korean International School of Beijing (KISB) students every Saturday morning as part of the MCF Kids’ Club Program, whose goal is to connect international school students with disadvantaged students in Beijing thus giving both sets of students learning opportunities through sharing their time, skills, and interests.

Na (11)

“I went to Lijiang in Yunnan with my parents this summer holiday. Surrounded by mountains and rivers, the city is like a paradise on earth.”

Jingzhe (11)

“The three things I really want to do next year have more time for playing, more time to gaze at the stars, and more time to read books. I especially want to read more books, because books make me smarter.”

Haiyang (11)

“I painted a book and a ping-pong table because reading books and playing ping pong are my favorite hobbies. I want to read more books and improve my ping-pong skills next year.”

Yuanyuan (11)

“My favorite activities during the New Year season are watching shining stars and beautiful fireworks. I am looking forward to seeing them next year and I am so excited!”

Aoyu (10)

“There are two things I really want to do next year, and they are swimming and reading books. I have wanted to learn how to swim for a long time, and I hope I can realize my dream in 2019.”

Tianmei (9)

“Next year, I am going to study very hard in order to get better grades on my exams. I hope I can see the number ‘100’ on my exam paper!”

This article first appeared in the beijingkids December 2018 Charity and Goodwill issue.
Photos: Courtesy of MCF