Catfishing isn’t a term reserved exclusively for trolls who pretend to be other people online. It’s also what you call places that take exceptionally beautiful photos and videos, bribe people for good reviews, but fail to deliver a pleasant experience.

A few months ago we wrote an article about what we thought was a hidden gem for Potterheads – a home just minutes away from Universal Studios that’s decorated like Hogwarts!

Videos and photos (all produced by the property’s owner) depicted a wizarding classroom, a dining room that resembles the iconic Great Hall, an indoor pool like that from Goblet of Fire, a two-story tall slide and ball pit that’s sanitized after each stay, and luxurious bedrooms that’ll let you live out your Harry Potter fantasy. Check out their photos here vs. what the place actually looked like below.

Boasting space for 11 people to sleep comfortably, the RMB 5,000 a night villa seemed like a Horcrux we were lucky enough to discover.

Unfortunately, however, this is a story about catfishing…

Pulling up to our magical weekend getaway, we were completely lost. The house is surrounded by other villas, some of which are half built, and the streets were pitch black with no street lights. After a bit of frustration we finally found it.

Walking in, we were momentarily enchanted by all the wands and Wanted posters with Sirius Black’s face printed on them. Then, I started noticing details and my heart sank.

Let’s start with the fact that, for RMB 5,000 per night, there wasn’t even a complimentary bottle of water in the kitchen. We ordered waimai and waited about an hour for a case of water to be delivered.

Then the slide and ballpit that I…ahem, I mean my child…had been looking forward to was tucked behind a broken door, and the ballpit itself was missing about half the balls but had a charming crumbled rug stuffed at the bottom.

I don’t have to remind you that we’re currently in the middle of winter, meaning that broken door by the slide let in a nice cold breeze all night long…

The Lego table in the kids play room had dust and hair all over it. The Goblet of Fire indoor pool turned out to be tiny and absolutely freezing. Only after we arrived were we told that it could be used between 10am and 7pm, and needed at least two hours to reach a nice luke warm temperature.

Wandering around the house we discovered four bedrooms and enough space to comfortably sleep six, not 11. I guess if you want to put 11 people in the house for a night everyone’s going to have to bunk up and one person will be sleeping on the couch.

We were already there and had talked a friend into spending the night with his family as well. There was no turning back.

Before going to bed we wiped down our nightstands and left a pile of dirt covered disinfectant wipes in the dustbin. If you’ve ready about my obsession with hotel sanitation you’ll know how much fun a night in this faux-Hogwarts was for me.

Simply put, there was no Universal Studios magic here. This was a Muggle house trying very hard to be part of the Wizarding world.

The following morning, under the bright morning sun I saw more things that I definitely didn’t need to see. Like the security tag still attached to the stuffed Crookshanks. Hello, Universal Studios security team, I think someone stole a toy.

The wands are all from Taobao as are the robes. The broomsticks are just brooms, you know, for actual sweeping…

There’s also a lovely abandoned toilet bowl out front, some bricks falling off the sides of the adjacent building, and a dirty mat in the backyard covering up who-knows-what. However, the most “huh” item I came across was found in one of the bathrooms – a communal loofa.

So take it from my brush with a catfish, when you’re looking for any recommendation, whether it be places to entertain your kids, restaurants, hotels, museums, etc., dig a bit deeper than those photos you see on Dianping, especially if they’re too-good-to-be-true beautiful.

There are plenty of WeChat groups in Beijing for all sorts of needs. Join one and ask your fellow expat neighbors for advice. It’s always great to get some real, authentic feedback rather than the fluffed up images you find online.

Here are a few family friendly groups to join. Add TBJ Butler by scanning the QR code and let him know which one you’d like to join.

Beijing FamFriendlyEats: Tips for where to dine with the kids
Beijing Dads Group: For Beijing dads (and their various concerns)
Kid & Family Events in Beijing: Family friendly events and places to go
Beijing Explorer: A group for those looking to get more out of exploring Beijing
Cheap Eats in Beijing: Recommendations for restaurants/eats that cost less than RMB 50 per person
New Restaurants in Beijing: Tips and reviews for places that opened some time over the last few months

KEEP READING: Outdoor Play Place + Petting Zoo + Snow!

Images: Mina Yan

There’s an aquarium in Gongti, did you know that? I love aquariums. I find them super fascinating and relaxing, and I can pretty much spend all day in any aquarium – except this one…

Reading about The Blue Zoo from past reviews written by Jingkids editors makes you ask yourself, “Why haven’t I discovered this hidden treasure in Beijing yet?” The last time our editors wrote about it was back in 2011 and we described it as, “There are a series of underwater shows throughout the day, beginning at both 9am and noon. If you can schedule it, weekday visits are recommended to avoid large crowds. Displays are in both Chinese and English, which will help English-speakers get the most out of their aquarium experience.

The first tanks are divided by specimen, with countless examples of each finned variety. Clownfish, lionfish, moorish idols and other tropical favorites are all at eye-level. Big-mouthed bottom feeders share a tank, and include the shark catfish and arapaima – a sturgeon-like living fossil.”

Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well, we went on a lovely weekend afternoon thinking it would be fun for the whole family all for as low as RMB 99 per person.

It wasn’t very promising when we pulled up. The signs were faded and there weren’t many people in sight. It looked run down and the signage leading to the entrance displayed questionable shows like underwater pole dancing.

When we arrived at the ticket counter, we were told that if we wanted the Dianping price of RMB 99 we needed to book a day in advance. The door price for an adult is RMB 138 for a ticket that doesn’t include shows or RMB 198 for one that does. Good news though, kids under 1 meter tall are free.

“Ok, we made the effort of coming all the way here, might as well go in, full price…”

Going down the escalator decorated with underwater marine life, my excitement level increased to a max 10. Then the escalator takes us to the B1 level and I couldn’t believe my senses. Not only was there no marine life, but my nostrils were filled with the scent of chemically-soaked sausages and the sounds of arcade machines assailed my ears. This was not quite what I was expecting for a serene aquarium. But then, we found another set of escalators that led to B2 level, and my hope for a chill but fun outing was renewed.

This hope was dashed by a strong whiff of the toilet as we entered the lower basement level.

We tried our best to ignore the pungent odor to make the best of our experience at Blue Zoo. The most interesting thing (and what gets photographed in all their promotional material) is their conveyor belt tour where you can see fish swim around you and overhead. While it sounds pretty cool, the drabby shape of the tank and the scant variety of fish within was less than impressive.

It’s not all bad. If your child is still young enough like my 10 month-old daughter, they’ll have a great time admiring fish. And since the rest of the aquarium is simply a few ill-kept tanks, we took about five trips around the conveyer belt – just to get our money’s worth. The rest of the aquarium is home to a little family of sea turtles, two sharks, two sea lions, and a decent array of aquatic life.

As long as your child is young enough and you’re not expecting grandiose shows or even clean tanks, an afternoon at Blue Zoo learning a bit about sea turtles and sharks isn’t too bad of an option. But then again, my 10 month-old daughter would have been just as entertained looking at the seafood tank at a restrauant.

KEEP READING: Zoos and Aquariums- Innocent Pleasures, or Sinister Prisons?

Images: Mina Yan

Both Aldith and Ettienne hail from the warm island of Malta in the Mediterranean.  They have two kids, Nina, 1 year old, and Elija, 2 and a half years old. Elija attends the Italian Embassy School of Beijing.  The family loves warm weather and spending time outside, so the summer can’t arrive fast enough. Ettienne works for an international organization for migration. Aldith works at home taking care of her children and is busy with her new venture, Our Little Library.