School’s in full swing and parents are allowed back on campus – that means PTA board meetings are coming in hard and fast as schools amp up for spring events and festivities. Oh yes, the Parent-Teacher Association. You’re either in it because you love it, someone “volunteered” you, or you refuse to go near it with a ten-foot pole, but either way, the PTA will find you… sooner or later.

“Have you read the school email from Harry yet?” Is the way you start your conversations with most other people, who are all parents from the school because that’s 90 percent of your social circle. Who’s Harry, you ask? That brings me to my next point…

You are on a first-name basis with the school staff, including teachers and the principal such as the aforementioned “Harry.”

Whenever you visit the school, which is at least once a week, you park in your favorite spot right by the flowers you suggested the school gardener plant near the gate. Or you walk because you live five minutes down the block.

You have all the school merchandise, and you actually paid for it.

“Veni, vidi, vici!” Well, not that one but you know the school motto (in the original Latin if it is) by heart, and you fully believe in it.

Half of your WeChat Moments are blogs from the school and the other half are photographs of you or your kids at school.

You have the school phone number along with the phone number extensions of key personnel at the school saved in your phone book.

You’re always baking/making/selling something to raise funds.

We jest, PTA board members! We love you for all the dedication and hard work you put into our kids’ schools. If only our kids would actually put that same amount of effort into their school work…

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Images: Unsplash, Pexels, Giphy

Parenting – everyone’s got an opinion on it; there’s plenty of ideologies and advice, warranted or otherwise, and after all, that’s said and done, nobody really knows for sure what they’re doing. This is why I, like almost 80 other parents at my kid’s school, were eager to join the parenting book club organized by the PTA. This weekly gathering has been put together and chaired by Shu Qi for almost two years running. Last year, they started with “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk”, which continues to be hailed as the parenting bible today, even though it was first published in 1980. This year, they are currently reading “How To Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids“.

Keen to gather some insights into local parenting behavior and trends, especially in comparison to American parenting techniques, I asked Shu to share her thoughts and observations from two years of book club.

Q: So Shu, you’re China-born but lived, worked and started a family in America for years, do you find that there’s a clear difference between American and Chinese parenting?

Shu: Oh yes, the focus on academics is still very ingrained in Chinese parents, even those who send their kids to IB schools which encourage a more holistic education. And Chinese parents tend to have more strict rules for the kids to follow. For example, Chinese parents are traditionally very disciplined when it comes to mealtimes. If they say they eat dinner at that time, the kids are expected to be there by then. But in America, I’ve seen kids come down to dinner 3 hours late. It’s pretty common.

Q: Is there any aspect of Chinese parenting that is actually more relaxed than American parenting?

Shu: Economics! Chinese families are super generous when it comes to economic support. American families tend to be more strict about their kids becoming financially independent, like getting them to work in the summer even when they’re young, and even booting them out of the house when they turn 18. Chinese families don’t do that – they never want the kids to work when they’re still in school. Chinese families can support you even after you get married! Maybe it’s the parents’ way of making up for all the strict rules! Like, here let me buy you some fancy things, but you have to be polite and greet everyone properly!

Q: Is there any aspect of American parenting that you don’t quite agree with and would rather side with the “Chinese” way instead?

Shu: What I would never want to see in my own home, that I see a lot with American families, is the distance that forms between the parent and child after they grow up. I appreciate the independence, but I want my child to call me regularly and keep me involved in his life. I see American families where the parents just let the children lead their own lives, even allowing them to make some very obviously bad choices that lead to further isolation. But because “it’s their life”, they don’t interfere. Then they end up not speaking and don’t stay in touch, physically and emotionally. I can’t bear that. I want my family to stay together, heart to heart.

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Images: Pexels, Vivienne Tseng-Rush

For our column, Ask an Educator, we turn to educators, whether teachers, tutors, or principals, to answer frequently asked questions from parents. To send in your question, email jessicasuotmaa@beijing-kids.com.

This week, our question is:

“How can my child be successful in school? How can I assist my child in reaching success?”

Answering for us is Perlita Pengson, Reading Teacher at R3 Discovery, previous preschool teacher at Ivy Education Group. Pengson is foremost a mother who has volunteered at Fang Cao Di Primary School, running the PTA Reading Program for elementary students. She is also a member of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

I am sure that there are thousands of ways that your child can be successful in school. As a teacher and mother, I also search for ways to ensure that my kids are successful in school. I have tried different methods, but many have not worked out for me and my kids. I’ve listed a select few that worked for us and might work for you and your family as well.

Schedule

At home, we have created a learning environment. My kids and I came up with their schedule from the time they get home from school until the time they have to sleep. I’ve learned that it is vital to include your children when creating rules or schedule for them for it means you are showing them the respect that they deserve.

Model Reading

I myself love to read, so I keep all types of reading materials at home. I encourage my kids to read books for at least 15 to 20 minutes per day. The best part is, I get to spend quality time with them during our reading time. Most kids get bored easily when they read a book. I don’t force my kids to read if they are not in the mood. I just let them watch me reading books, magazines, cook books, etc. Be a MODEL to them! I take them to bookstores and libraries to read books.

Quality Time

I encourage my children to work independently and be more responsible, but I always make myself available during such learning times.

As a full time working mom, I make sure that my kids are always my priority. Any free time I have, I spend it with my family. Like most parents, I also made a lot of sacrifices in regards to the needs of my children. More quality time with my children allows me to find out what their special interests are, from sports to music to art. I then support them in developing and enriching their special abilities.

School Presence

I connect with my children’s school by making quick phone calls to their homeroom teacher, even with my busy schedule. Not to check if my children are behaving but to ask if she or he needs help. I volunteer to visit their class and read books to the class, or just help the teacher decorate the room for a special occasion. I do it because as an educator, I appreciate it when parents come forward and assure me that they are supporting their kids in any way they can. I also appreciate parents who make time to volunteer in any activities we have in class or school.

When your children see that you are connected to their school and give your spare time to volunteer, it will encourage them to be more diligent in their studies and behave better in class. Your presence in the everyday lives of your children is what helps them to be a successful in everything they do.

Photo: courtesy of Perlita Pengson

The International School of Beijing (ISB) will host it’s annual Spring Fair on Saturday, May 7 from 10am-4pm that attracts over 5,000 people and is an great avenue to market your company. Currently, there are different sponsorship levels available such as platinum, diamond, gold, and others; the deadline to commit to become a sponsor is March 23. Click here to get the full breakdown on the sponsorship packages.

There are limited numbers of vendor booths available, please email springfair@isb.bj.edu.cn to book one as this is a first come, first served basis.

ISB’s Parent Teacher Association (ISB PTA) organizes this event in hopes of raising funds for their various charitable causes. The Spring Fair features child-friendly carnival games, shopping, grand prize raffle draws, international and local food specialities, and live entertainment.

Photo: ISB