Moving to a new city is exciting, but let’s be real: It can also be pretty overwhelming. If you’ve just arrived in Beijing and aren’t quite sure where to start, we’ve got something special for you.

We’re giving away free tickets to our readers for INN’s Beijing Arrival Survival, which is designed to help fresh faces in Beijing settle in smoothly. Whether you’re struggling with the subway system, hunting for affordable apartments or just want to meet other newbies, this event is for you.

Want a free ticket? Here’s how to get one:
Just like this post and comment below with one thing you’ve found tricky since moving to Beijing. Maybe it’s ordering food, dealing with visa paperwork or just missing home. We’ll randomly pick six winners – no complicated rules, just a bit of luck!

Winners will be announced on Wed, Aug 13, so don’t wait! Even if you don’t snag a free ticket, we’d still love to see you there. Let’s make Beijing feel a little more like home.

Images: INN, Freepik

The Robinson family represents a typical expat family at YCIS Beijing (Yew Chung International School), a long-established international school for expatriate children.

In 2023, the Robinsons relocated to Beijing due to Mr. Robinson’s job transfer. They were originally supposed to move from the US earlier, but Covid disrupted their plans. However, Tara’s enthusiasm for cross-cultural life never waned. As a former college tennis player who earned a scholarship, her university years training alongside teammates from Sweden, Brazil, and Australia gave her a love for global exploration. “We were so excited we couldn’t sleep!” she recalled with a laugh. Her athlete’s adaptability fueled her anticipation for this transcontinental move.

Mr. Robinson arrived in Beijing four months ahead of the family to settle into his new job and secure housing. He then began an intensive school search for their son. The couple agreed on three core criteria: bilingual education, proximity to their Financial Street residence, and a moderate campus size to ease Brenden’s adjustment. After visiting schools like the International School of Beijing (ISB), Canadian International School, and Western Academy of Beijing (WAB), YCIS stood out. The school’s bilingual curriculum deeply resonated with the family, as they viewed language as a cultural bridge. “Learning Chinese was the top priority,” Tara explained. Upon arrival, she committed to twice-weekly online Chinese lessons. YCIS’s campus size also reassured them – Brenden’s previous private school in Louisiana was small, and they worried a sprawling campus might overwhelm him.

Brenden’s journey in learning Chinese became the heartwarming centerpiece of the family’s adaptation to Beijing. Before moving, the family had zero Chinese language foundation. Tara vividly remembers their initial anxiety, but her son’s progress now astonishes her.

At home, Brenden took charge of a critical task: ordering food delivery. “He’d mischievously snatch the phone from my hand!” Tara chuckled, describing how he insisted on communicating with delivery staff in Chinese. From stumbling beginnings to relatively fluent conversations, Brenden now independently confirms orders, provides addresses, and expresses thanks. “It’s a leap from zero to one,” Tara marveled, noting how his confidence has shattered earlier fears of making mistakes or causing offense.

This growth extends beyond home. During a winter ski trip in Chongli, Brenden fearlessly interacted with a Mandarin-speaking coach. When encountering unfamiliar terms, he’d pause to use translation apps but never shied away from communication. “He didn’t panic at all,” Tara emphasized, her voice brimming with pride. She believes these real-world challenges have honed his adaptability and deepened his understanding that “language bridges hearts.”

Tara credits this transformation to Brenden’s experience at YCIS. The tight-knit community ensures every child is noticed and encouraged, even for small achievements. “This environment,” she said, “fosters confidence and motivation.”

Academically, Brenden shines. He now studies Chinese Level 2 (equivalent to HSK Level 3), surpassing Tara’s own progress. “He’s already outpaced me!” she admitted. Brenden often shares classroom assignments with his mother – dictations, readings, even correcting her stroke order. Teachers praise his writing as “only occasionally missing a stroke,” and his recitation of Chinese poems at school events moved Tara to tears. Standing before audiences, he barely glances at notes – a testament to his linguistic mastery.

Living in the Financial Street area, the Robinsons navigate Beijing’s notorious traffic – a 35-minute morning commute stretches to over an hour by evening. Yet they’ve woven a vibrant life. On weekends, they find themselves exploring the Baita Temple Cultural Area and hutongs around Houhai, which Tara calls “the soul of old Beijing.” Food plays a starring role, with dumplings reigning as the family favorite. Brenden’s improving Chinese even enhances their culinary adventures – he confidently converses with shop staff, deepening the family’s immersion in the city’s rhythms.

Tara’s commitment extends beyond her son. She immerses herself in parent volunteering – from handing out ice cream at sports days to organizing multicultural events, blending British pancakes with Louisiana Mardi Gras traditions. Yet this journey wasn’t smooth. Early on, she attended a volunteer meeting conducted entirely in Mandarin. “I just listened quietly,” she said, recalling her nervous but determined demeanor. Persistence paid off – she’s now an active member of the parent committee. Inspired by her, more new families, especially post-pandemic expatriates from diverse nations, have joined school activities.

A former professional tennis player, Tara recently helped launch YCIS’s U16 tennis training program, coaching students in structured drills. Though Brenden prefers books to sports, this hasn’t dampened Tara’s passion for contributing. Her enthusiasm embodies the spirit of YCIS’s historic international community – parent involvement here transcends personal gain.

With two years remaining on her husband’s contract (extendable by one more year), Tara sees Chinese as a lifelong skill. “It will forever be part of us,” she said, vowing to continue learning even if they return to the US. Brenden, however, has no plans to leave. “I don’t want to go back to America at all!” he told his mother. Excelling academically, he’s been invited to YCIS’s STEM Plus program. Combined with his close-knit circle of friends from Vietnam, Pakistan, Korea, Australia, and China, he’s deeply attached to his life here.

For the Robinsons, Beijing is no longer just a corporate assignment – it’s a home filled with belonging, growth, and friendship. From bridging early language gaps to uniting a multicultural community, Tara’s advice to newcomers is succinct yet profound: “Step out of your comfort zone – it’s worth it.” Brenden’s journey vividly proves that seeds of confidence sprout in daily takeout calls, classroom dictations, and the courage to say, “Mom, I’ll handle it.”

YCIS Beijing, as Tara puts it, is the “cultural incubator” nurturing their courage, fostering cross-cultural curiosity, and helping these roots grow deep.

Images: YCIS

Beijing has been my home for the past seven years, and leaving it is daunting. Whenever I think deeply about what I have done here, how much I have grown, and all the unforgettable memories that I, my family, my friends, and my teachers have made here, I always end up crying. Leaving a school that I have been at for my entire primary and (almost) middle school career saddens me even more. Change is happening. And I have to face it no matter what. The funny thing is that I don’t even know which city in China I am even from, which is a very difficult thing to deal with because wherever I go, if people want to simply know a little bit more about me and ask, “你是哪里来的？” (which means “Where do you come from?” or “Where are you from?”), I always end up answering, “成都.” Technically, my household registration is in Chengdu, so it would make sense for me to say Chengdu. However, I have not lived in Chengdu for a long period of time, which also makes me wonder if I really should say that to people. I was born in Suzhou, and so, also technically, I am from Suzhou as well. This may seem irrelevant to talk about as the place that I am leaving from is Beijing, but a conversation I had with a friend from the summer program I participated in this year perhaps answered the question everyone was asking me. He said that because I have been in Beijing for the longest period of time of my life, I am from Beijing to him personally. I told him my entire moving journey from the day I was born – being born in Suzhou, then after 100 days moving to Zhenjiang for four years, then to Wuxi for two years, then to Hefei for two months, and finally moving to Beijing and staying here for the past seven years as I am about to move to Zhuhai to finish my middle and high school. Perhaps, I am a Beijinger now. Whenever I speak Mandarin, some people say that they hear a distinct Beijinger accent. Once, I tried to learn the Chengdu accent from my dad as he is from Chengdu, and he said that when I spoke in a Chengdu accent, it sounded like a Beijinger or someone from the Dongbei (northeastern) region trying to imitate the Chengdu accent. This really made me wonder what my identity truly is.

G4&5 compilation

When I first moved to Beijing, I felt like I was moving to a foreign region – the weather and climate were different, the streets had a completely different vibe compared to the southern cities of China, and the people seemed to be different from the people I had met before. However, now, when I step on the streets of Beijing, I have this weird feeling of belonging but also not belonging. I feel a sense of belonging because I have spent so much time of my life here and even though Beijing may never feel like a “hometown” for me, it definitely shaped who I am today.

G6 www trip

I still remember vividly what the first day of school was like – the yellow school bus pulled into the driveway in front of my compound, and I was astonished that I was actually going to the school that I liked, not even discussing it with my parents. Now here I am, leaving the school that I have been at for seven and a half years. Every single teacher that I have had at Beijing City International School (BCIS) has given me some extent of encouragement and inspiration that allowed me to move forward with my academic and extracurricular life with ease – my Grades 1 and 2 homeroom teachers opening me up to a variety of sustainability projects, allowing me to find my true passion; my Grade 3 homeroom teacher teaching me how to find my own principles and follow instructions; my Grades 4 and 5 teachers leading the way to let me have a smooth transition into middle school, and the countless teachers I have met in my middle school life giving me confidence and pride to let me tackle high school with a stronger heart.

G8 shorts theatre performance

Every teacher that I have met these few days in the hallways were always saying something along these lines: “I heard that you are leaving us… Why?… You can’t!” This makes me realize how much effort and hard work I have put into my entire time here at BCIS and I simply think that without the community’s encouragement and love, I would never have been able to accomplish so much. I conclude my seven years in Beijing by saying, “Whatever way our stories end, I know you’ll have rewritten mine by being my friend.” Images: Margaret Yang

Starting a new life in a new city is hard. Over a decade ago I moved from California via Switzerland and made Beijing my home. Thinking back to my first years in this city, there are so many things that I wish I had done differently. If only there had been someone to show me the ropes. It would have saved me so much time and effort and I would have had the chance to fall in love with Beijing that much sooner.

After years of Covid hiatus, the city that we love is starting to feel like its good old pre-Covid days again.  Travel is back and new families are moving into the city every day.

Well, Beijing newbies, don’t struggle blindly about the city. Make the most of your new adventure here by putting our 16 years of history as Beijing’s go-to source for everything family-related to good use.

We cover all your family essentials, including insights into the city’s international schools, one-on-ones with parents’ most trusted pediatricians, the latest news and regulations, summer camps, apps that make your life easier, WeChat groups to join and meet new friends, all the weekend activities that you could possibly want for your family, plus some lighthearted humor to add a touch of sunshine to your life.

Be sure to follow us on WeChat to stay up-to-date.

Images: Pexels, jingkids

One year ago we spent Mother’s Day at Jing-A in Longfusi, where our kids made crafts and we enjoyed some of our favorite beers (Flying Fist, anyone?). 

I came from another event and so met my husband and kids there, getting totally lost on the way. (If you know me, this is fairly normal.) My phone’s GPS was wonky and I ducked into cafes to use their WiFi, all the while attempting to stay in touch with my family so we knew where to meet.

On the way, I met theater students hanging outside of rehearsal, two lovely shop owners (plus one ornery one), and used Google Translate with my poor Mandarin to see if any residents knew where I should go. A few Elders later, a lovely pre-teen showed me the way to the hutong, at which point I saw my family tumble out of a DiDi and spot me.

I was a bit frustrated with myself, but my husband just teased me about my lack of direction. We made some educated guesses and found our way through the archway that led into a half outdoor, half indoor, breezy boozy lunch. On the way out our kids hopped over concrete circles in the street while we sidestepped street vendors and found our way home.

It was a blast. 

We moved back to the US last July, and everyone asks the same questions about living in Beijing. They want to know what it was like (wild), how we liked it (a lot), how the kids liked it (they loved it, it was their home), do they know any Mandarin (basics), and are you happy to be back (not at first).

How do you answer those questions with small talk? It’s nearly impossible and no one goes much deeper or tries to get to the heart of why we wanted to live abroad in the first place. It’s no one’s fault, but it does reduce our time in Beijing to mere anecdotes and a penchant for hot pot.

The real question for any travel or living outside your home country is “How did it change you?”

The truthful answer is “More than I could possibly know.”

What I do know is that living abroad and in Beijing specifically, reinforced my and Dan’s commitment to our family, and made me a better mother. 

Living in Beijing made me more adventurous and in the moment.

I spent our first morning in Beijing pulling out my guidebooks and Jingkids mags to find family-friendly places we should visit. By the time Dan woke up, I had narrowed it down to 8-10 choices. He stared at me, newly poured coffee in hand, and said I was stressing him out and we should start our adventure by living here.

I reflected on that statement often in our two years: just living here is the adventure. Every day brought new challenges and new words we had to learn just to get around. I didn’t rise to all of the occasions, but I do feel like we were more than passing visitors. And now I approach our daily life as a potential adventure every day.

Beijing also made me a braver mom and so a better example for our kids. Whether they saw me struggle to order my coffee in Mandarin or decided they wanted to try the zip line at Longqing Gorge, we had to be brave. (Full disclosure, our friend saw the blood drain from my face at the zip line so he took my youngest, but I was willing. That counts, right?). I’d conquered a fear of dangling from heights in order to visit The Great Wall a few times and get to that toboggan ride, didn’t I? I managed to do things that I’d never dreamt of before, and all because I wanted my kids to see that taking risks for fun and adventure was worth it. 

I learned to trust my kids more. 

As much as I felt like a laowai most days, my kids went through that in school, a place where social tensions are already quite high. Making such huge shifts at a young age really helped when we repatriated. They both make friends quite easily now and transitioned into new schools without any trouble; I attribute much of their character growth to the experiences we had in Beijing and how we as their parents had to allow them to experience their own struggles without immediately jumping in to help.

Watching them navigate a city that is larger than any they remember living in was eye-opening. They also got more experimental with the foods they would eat and outings they’d request.

I get who my real friends are. 

Making friends in middle age, and especially as a mother, is hard enough. Finding friendships that are built on more than just being expats together is even harder. When we first moved, I trusted someone I shouldn’t have, and my walls went up. I kept a glossy distance between other parents and potential friends, not trusting they were genuine because of that one bad experience. It took the knowledge that we had an end date – when I’d be moving back – for me to get vulnerable and prioritize those people who I honestly considered friends. Seeing who I chose as my confidantes helped me understand what real friendship can be and honestly made me sad that I didn’t make more of an effort to hang with them. I took that lesson into my true friendships here and make a bigger effort to keep my true friends close.

Beijing helped me learn the true value of a village while raising a family.

There are so many examples of this, but the one that stands out to me is when my kid came home from preschool with lice (nits) and I could not find the right chemical treatment. It took weeks of diligently combing until a friend of a friend offered up her extra hair treatment so we could finally end the cycle. I would have paid her in gold pieces by then. Whether we needed medical help or suggestions for parties or simply missed something unique to our home country, those WeChat groups were a lifeline. I aim to be as thoughtful and helpful to our neighbors here as I felt in those groups.

Dan and I made time for morning check-ins. 

Before we moved, Dan and I promised that we’d have regular check-ins to make sure we stayed on the same page. With me switching from a trailing spouse to a working mother while his job ate up the majority of his time, those 20 minutes we stole over coffee every day made a huge difference. We solved many family questions in the cafe, found some new ones, and stayed connected emotionally while managing the logistics of expat family life. We loved it so much that we make the space for that time before school drop-offs in the US too. It’s worth waking up a few minutes earlier (most days) to sustain a daily coffee connection with each other. 

Leaving my comfort zones made me grow as a writer, which made me a happier mom.

Ever since I got pregnant eight years ago, I either worked part-time from home with the kids or not at all. Then one day Mina accepted my pitch about quarantine for this publication and asked me to apply for an open position.. There’s no efficient way to get into how working at Jingkids affected me positively, so I’ll end with how my oldest son described my job, which I now carry into all the work I do:

“My Mommy writes things that help people.”

Knowing that he supports my work because he saw firsthand how it helped people and how much it helped me love myself again, well, that means everything. It doesn’t matter if Mother’s Day is at Jing-A in a hutong or a brunch spot in the United States. We carry our time in Beijing with us wherever we go.

KEEP READING: Forgot about Mother’s Day? These Local Businesses Have You Covered!

Images: Canva, Cindy & Dan Jenkins, a waiter at Hulu

When we announced our move to Beijing, the reactions were as vast as they were wide-eyed. You could tell who would never understand and who was jealous, who was inquisitive, and who was in denial (cough cough, my own mother).

No matter the reactions of family and friends, however, you and your family unit must understand what embarking on this adventure means for every single member. What are you giving up and what does everyone want out of it? Even when your kids are young, honing in on everyone’s perspective will go a long way towards maintaining open communication. And truth be told, that is the key to making any relocation run as smoothly as possible: communication. You and your spouse must talk to each other and listen to one another, even – and especially – if they are saying things you don’t want to hear. It’s one thing to jump into an adventure with an open mind and an open heart; it’s another to have completely different expectations of the journey than your spouse.

That goes double for your children. They have the least amount of say in these decisions. Continually check in with them and find out how they’re feeling. Let them know it’s okay to be scared and excited; it’s fine to feel grateful and resentful, sometimes simultaneously.

I know some families who barreled through without telling their kids anything, and others who made decisions specifically based on how it would affect their kids. I know employees who never involved their spouse in the relocation talks, such that they arrived in a new country without so much as an emergency contact in the company or the foggiest idea of how to pay for something.

Many of these questions will inevitably lead to other questions, but it’s a strong start. For the sake of ease, we’re going to assume that the two adults in question are married, and we’ll refer to one as “the employee” and the other as “the supportive spouse,” rather than using the sometimes insulting term “trailing spouse.”

• Why does the employee want the job?
◦ What will it do for their career?
◦ What will the employee have to give up to take the job (friends, extended family, favorite gym or brewery, etc.)
• What will the supportive spouse have to give up to take the job? (their own career, trusted babysitters, friends, social unit…)
• Are there ways to make up for that somehow?
• What will the supportive spouse do while they are here?
◦ Are there chances for them to work in China?
◦ Are there opportunities to work remotely?
◦ Is there a passion project they want to develop?
◦ Are there courses they want to take or higher education to pursue?
• What are the benefits of taking the job and moving that the supportive spouse can enjoy?
• What will the kids give up to move? (friends, a familiar school system, predictable social norms…)
• How do your children adjust to change?
• How can you help them through the process?
• Are you all up for an adventure or just want to “do your time” until the assignment is over?
• How invested are you in learning the language?
◦ How can the whole family stay involved and progress in language proficiency?
• What are the major historical sites you want to see?
• What are the cultural experiences you must take part in?
• Do you want to learn a traditional craft from the host country?
• Who is in charge of the visa processing, paperwork, etc. needed to make this happen? (Even with a company moving you, the paperwork for relocating to Beijing is dense.)
• What are the priorities in choosing a school?
◦ How does that affect where you want to live?
• What are your priorities in choosing a place to live? (location, amenities, services, proximity to the subway, or outdoor space…)
◦ Are your children small and not of school age?
◦ Will you hire an ayi? Full or part-time? Through an agency or referral? (read this article)
• Do you have savings goals from this assignment?
◦ How can you achieve them?
◦ Who is the responsible party in the household for ensuring those goals are met?
• How much travel will the employee need to do once you’re moved to the host country?
◦ Is the supportive spouse comfortable with that solo time?
• Do you own a house in your home country?
◦ Will you sell it or rent it while you are gone?
◦ What are your financial goals for either scenario?
◦ What renovations or repairs do you need to do before that happens?
◦ What does that mean for your return?
• What will you do with any cars you own?
• Do you need a storage unit in your home country?
◦ Who in the home country will have a spare key in the event that you need to get into it?
• Will you need a PO Box in your home country?
• Will your phones work in your host country?
• Does the company help facilitate getting a phone account and setting up other utilities?
• Who is the main contact for the company relocation guide?
◦ Can supportive spouse be cc’ed on communication when necessary?
◦ Can the supportive spouse be the main contact for some areas of the relocation?
• Does the company provide air filters and water filters?
• Does the company pay for international school at any age, or starting at a certain age?
• Who is in charge of the packing and interfacing with the shipment companies?
• Who is in charge of the reimbursements from, and during, relocation?
• Who is in charge of setting up the school tours?
• Are you able to have a look-see visit prior to moving?
◦ Who will watch the kids?
◦ Can the kids come with you?
◦ How much control do you have over the housing and schools that you tour?
• What vaccinations are needed to enter the host country?
• What medical checkups or procedures are needed or preferred before moving?
◦ Any dental checkups?
◦ Is all medical, dental, and vision paperwork in order?
◦ Do you need medical IDs translated?
• What is the repatriation plan?
• Can you repatriate to an area other than where you moved from?

Questions You Don’t Really Want to Ask But Should

• Is the employee or the spouse prone to drinking alcohol in stressful situations?
◦ If so, how will you, as a family, combat that?
• Do you have a support system in place for any medical or mental health emergencies?
• Do you have a Last Will and Testament? Do you need one?
• Does your company have a contingency plan if a close relative passes away during your assignment? Will you be able to return or are the borders still difficult to cross?
• Does your company have a contingency plan if someone in your immediate family falls ill?
• Are the employee and supportive spouse good at making new friends or is it difficult?
• What happens if someone in the family has trouble adjusting to your new city?

These questions are all just the tip of the proverbial iceberg that is relocating an entire family for the job of (most likely) one family member. Every single question here should lead you to other questions, and not all can be answered in one sitting. Moving is one of the most stressful situations any family can undertake together, but it is a journey to take together. It’s important that every family members’ perspective is taken into account and that an understanding is reached. Talk about it over coffee if the morning is the time when you have a clear head, or make a point to discuss one aspect of it at dinnertime for a month. However you go about it, take the time to communicate, and everyone in your family is much more likely to have a positive and realistic attitude towards relocation.

This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 May issue

Before we moved to Beijing, I set writing goals for myself. One of those goals was to write at least one article for beijngkids, now Jingkids International.

See, in the months and years leading up to the move, my husband’s company had given us copies of the magazine for research. Most of my thick relocation binder consisted of pages I’d torn out of their Home and Relocation Guide or School Choice Guide. Reading the issues on healthy eating and new trends in arts education prepared me for a much fuller, more vibrant family life in Beijing than any tourism website ever could’ve provided.

I saw alternatives to dairy yogurt, important for a family with various dietary needs. I found photos of green spaces surrounded by old murals or families playing sports, a sharp contrast to the more familiar skyscrapers often seen in travel brochures. The pages of the magazine and website reflected the kind of exciting life we wanted for our kids, where they would be challenged to learn a new language and find their way through another culture’s customs. We saw families from all over the world, living and working and learning and playing in the city we would soon call our own.

I got to know the different schools by feverishly studying the School Choice Guide, eliminating some schools by location, and marking others for future tours. When any question arose on the school process, my first stop was the Jingkids archives.

And when I returned to Beijing in July 2020 after being stranded, I had a story brewing about preparing for quarantine with kids. I looked up Managing Editor Mina Yan’s WeChat, pitched it to her, and within three weeks had a job offer as Deputy Managing Editor. (There were many steps in between, of course, but it felt like a whirlwind to me.)

I’m not sure I can properly describe the hole this job filled in my life, or how it caused my entire self to expand. I’d been working from home for over a decade, with stops and starts as my kids came into the picture and my husband’s job demanded more of his energy: The “Mom Gap,” I’ve heard it called. And here came a job that wasn’t scared of how I’d pieced together a freelance life, but embraced it, wanted it.

And wanted me to write about it.

Me and Mina Yan, Managing Editor and faithful believer in me.

From that moment on, every part of my life in Beijing became a mystery to solve. I thought back to how much I’d depended on Jingkids to steer me in the right direction when it came to events and schools. What aspects of daily life did people like me need help navigating? How could I turn my obsession with WeChat groups into useful, engaging stories that Beijing families would want to read and share? What do I wish I had known before I moved here and after? What aspects of parenting are magnified when you’re an expat, specifically here? Everything around me became a possible article.

And you, dear readers, joined me on this journey. Whether you saw me struggle through school WeChat groups, navigating a rare allergy in a different country, making a school choice checklist, finding new ways to connect with the school community over livestream, searching for the best Beijing birthday party, investigating whether to leave China this summer or celebrating kids who know no gender binaries – all of this has been for you.

My kids even got to be on our March/April 2021 cover and inside spread!

Most writers dread the comments section, and I’ve had my share of those days. But what made any day worth it was the private messages of support, or thanks for tackling a weird topic, or those of you who considered a subject differently because of something I wrote. Even, and especially, everyone who challenged me in some way or pointed out something I missed; everything I write is better thanks to you.

My family’s time in Beijing feels much too short. I still have so many stories and lessons and questions from our time here, and I hope this isn’t goodbye forever. Our family will repatriate this July, which means leaving my job in the capable hands of our new Deputy Managing Editor Vivienne Tseng-Rush. It will be hard to leave but easier knowing how our circle of friends and readers has grown during our time in Beijing.

Of course, there are so many things I didn’t get to do, yet I treasured every single moment here, even if it’s getting kicked off the grass at a park – because I got to share it with you.

KEEP READING: Super Size Me: Moving Abroad Gave Me Body Issues

Images: Uni You, the Grand Mercure Hotel

There are a ton of blogs and ideas for how to prepare your kids to relocate, but what do you do when they were so young during the initial move that they don’t remember your home country? Maybe they remember some people because you’ve done a great job at keeping up video calls with your family. Maybe they know the story of that photo from your home country because you’ve talked about it in front of them.

But maybe when someone asks your child where they’re from, they say, “Beijing.”

It makes sense. They might have moved here when they were so small that any details of their long-term memories from their home country were overwhelmed by the huge change of arrival in a different country.

So what can you do to help your child with the transition back to your home country?

• Treat it like another adventurous relocation. It’s still new to them, after all. You probably had maps and books and colorful guides to Beijing and China before you moved, so do the same thing for your next destination. Even if you know what to expect, acquaint your child with the good parts of their new home that you can travel to safely, the places you used to love, and the places you are interested in seeing again. It’s all bittersweet, so stick to the sweet for a bit.
• Stay connected to their friends in Beijing. I find the easiest way to do this is to have a weekly or monthly “drop-in” time when you connect to anyone they want to stay in touch with. Kids won’t usually need to talk for too long, so don’t worry if they’re done talking after 5 minutes. Online gaming (safely) is a great way to stay connected to friends as well, as is a weekly LEGO build club.
• Visit your nearest Chinatown or at least order from a nearby Chinese restaurant weekly. There’s nothing like the sense of taste to immediately bring back memories and feelings from your time in China. Have a regular dumpling night, or try some of the great recipes shared by Jingkids.
• Celebrate the holidays. You may not want to either completely drop every single Chinese holiday, or keep all the holidays from two cultures simultaneously as I did, but keep the New Year traditions, and use Golden Week as a great excuse to eat moon cakes, or to send your buddies in Beijing a little note.
• Keep up the language, if even the smallest bit. Numbers are an easy way, but just because you leave doesn’t mean you have to drop all your favorite phrases. I was talking with a mom who had repatriated from Shanghai about what it’s like to move back home, and she confessed that she had thought her girls had lost all their Mandarin. They then proceeded to chat with a nearby Chinese woman in the park, fully holding their own in the conversation. Young minds are amazing that way!
• Hang up precious moments and gifts from your time in Beijing. Maybe give your precious gifts their own corner, or choose a photo that captures a favorite memory and enlarge it, and frame it in their rooms. Keep that Year of the Rat stuffy, COVID-19 be damned, and have a special place where your child can hoard any spare change or RMB you find.
• Be honest about the different ways that different countries handled the coronavirus. We started this last winter/spring when we were stranded in Florida, and it really helped all of us to be open and honest. Some countries have not handled the pandemic well, and that is one major way in which your new life may be incredibly different in your home country compared to China. You might not want to dwell on it before you move back, but it’s certainly a conversation to consider having.
• Face your own fears. Moving doesn’t have to be an all-happy or all-miserable endgame. It’s okay to have your own feelings about it and to choose what to share with the kids. But let them know it is okay to have mixed feelings or to miss their old friends and old home, even if they enjoy this new one. Watch Pixar’s “Inside Out” if you need help with that. It’ll work a treat for opening up the conversation!
• Let them know that it feels different to you, too. Maybe a different parent is working in your home country. Maybe the hours are different, or everyone’s home at once. Maybe you miss the view from your apartment here but you appreciate the grassier areas at the place you are moving to. Maybe you’re grateful for milder weather, but would still just kill to be able to walk down your street and try something new from a vendor.

Whatever it is, you can stress how no matter where in the world you may roam, your family is together or working towards the best life for everyone. Your child’s friends will sometimes keep in touch and sometimes lose the thread, but memories will survive. Telling stories to new and old friends, sharing your knowledge of the Great Wall or a Chinese song with grandparents — these are all ways to keep a strong memory of your time in Beijing, while still building a new life together.

And isn’t that what home really means, anyway? For some, it’s a place, for others a feeling. For kids, it’s where their family is together and they are loved. Hold onto that and keep your WeChat account, and you’ll never be too far from your friends here.

KEEP READING: The Expat Parent: How to Clutter Clear When You’re Moving Away

Images: Cindy Marie Jenkins, Canva

We’re about to offer our readers a whole slew of updated information on relocating to and from Beijing, so thought we could start with an area of our lives that always causes stress: preparing to pack.

My family is moving soon, and even though we’re in the fortunate position of the company handling our relocation, the idea of packing is still stressful. What to take with us on the plane and what can we wait 4-10 weeks to receive — understanding that Covid-19 is still delaying nearly all shipments? What have the kids outgrown since we’ve moved here? Should I keep my winter clothes on the off chance we ever need them again or just start over?

Here are just a few of my tricks, having now moved cross country twice in my adult life and internationally twice.

 Start Clutter Clearing at least 3 months in advance of the move.

This is actually an emotional process, to review all your belongings and evaluate their usefulness or meaning in your life. It’s much better to do it one area of your space at a time, rather than think you can just do a full haul clearance while you’re also trying to pack. Start with the areas of less emotional attachment, like cables, cords, and electronics. Use the Rule of Five explained below, and just start.

Rule of Five

My sister needs this reminder a lot. Can’t determine how many stuffies to keep? How many spare charging cords, or empty notebooks? Use the rule of five. Only keep five of everything. If you have more than five, and it’s useful, that’s different. Or if it’s your kids’ collection of LEGO bricks and you have seven bins, well, Godspeed if you’re able to cut these down. But for most things in life, you do not need more than five of any one item.

Move the Cleared Items Out as Soon as Possible

Once you decide to get rid of something, get rid of it completely. I will sometimes call Roundabout to make a collection date before I clear things so that I have a deadline. The worst thing that can happen is you remove a toy they barely touched and put it into a closet, only to find your children dug it out one day when they were bored and now are playing with it again. Arggggggh!

Eat Your Way Through Your Pantry

At least three months before the move, you should also start eating your way through your pantry and freezer. Toss anything that’s expired. Remove items you are never going to use or open take a photo and see who wants those spices you just knew you’d start baking with but never touched. Stack pantry items all together so you understand that you actually have three unopened salsas and don’t need to buy anymore but should probably eat these first. Don’t leave this until the last minute or you’ll waste a lot of food.

Keep a “Don’t Care Bin”

Especially when travelling with children, you need a “don’t care” bin. These are Happy Meal toys, party favor crap, plastic shite you bribed them to stay quiet with one day but would rather not actually keep, etc. These are great for airplane and relocation trips when you don’t care if they break, don’t care if they get lost, you and your kids just don’t care.

Remove the Clothes That Don’t Fit

This one obviously assumes you have the money to replace them, but after two years in Beijing, a lot of my clothes shrunk in the wash. I can handle that tight waistline if I’m just standing at an event all day, but not on a regular basis. Be deliberate and ruthless: remove all items from your closet that simply don’t fit you anything. Take a photo and post it in your “buy nothing” sustainable group, then ship it off to the first person who says “yay”. This process includes the shoes that literally pain you to wear.

Gift Some Artwork

I adore all my kids’ artwork, I really do, but do I love it enough to unpack it in a few months? For some of their less sentimental pieces, I have them write a note on the back to give to their friends as a goodbye gift, along with a photo of them together. I always run these decisions by the kids themselves, of course, because I also don’t want them to ask me months later “Hey, where is that snowman I made at art class?”

Don’t Be Andy’s Mom

You know the mom from the first three Toy Story movies? She picks up the wrong bag for donation and sets into motion the entire escapade of saving all our favorite talking toys from the evil mafia at Sunnydale Day Care?

Don’t be Andy’s Mom. Sure, it was a mistake, but she and Andy could have had a reasonable discussion on which toys to keep and which toys to donate and saved everyone a whole lot of trouble and two hours of escapades. Of course, then we wouldn’t have a movie, but….

I know it feels like it would easier to just remove some items while they’re not looking, and I do totally do that sometimes. But when it comes to choosing their LEGO sets or favorite blankets or Funko toys, it’s best to discuss it with each child in advance. Because here’s the thing. I’d lightly discussed donating some toys with them last summer but they weren’t really interested. Then out of the blue, my son woke up one day after learning about children who didn’t have a lot of LEGO bricks and said he wanted to choose some to donate. We jumped on it and removed a whole bin from our home.

Remove all items from their shelves, containers, etc, then sort them in a neutral spot.

I find this very helpful with books especially. Take everything out of their spot and sort them into three piles: donate/trash, keep, and not sure. Keep the “not sure” items out and available, and if you don’t reach for them in the next month, out they go!

Everyone is going through such emotions during a move, don’t exacerbate them by trying to both get rid of items and also pack everything at once. Start as soon as you can, take it nice and slowly, and involve the whole family!

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Images: Canva