Every year when Chinese Valentine’s – aka QiXi Festival – rolls around, English-language WeChat accounts publish long articles about the holiday’s origins using the same, boring graphics of a boy and a girl in front of a moon on a bridge of birds. Click here if you really want to learn the story behind QiXi.

This year, instead of retelling that myth, Jingkids is sharing some epic real-life love stories.

A modern day love story that is testament to our digital age, Anna Hartley and Charles Pellegrin met on OkCupid. The couple recently welcomed their baby girl. This is their story.

Shu Qi was intrigued by Jacob Wang when she decided to buy some wine from his TMall store. After chatting online for 33 days and their first date, they knew they were meant for each other. This is their story.

Evelyn Figueroa and Oliver Rosenthal‘s family grew in Beijing when they welcomed their baby girl Eline. Here’s the story of the whirlwind romance that brought this couple to Beijing.

Elizabeth Tucker and Kelli Cochran’s story prove that love happens even when you’re not looking for it. The happy couple are now raising a baby girl together in Beijing. Here’s how they met and how their love blossomed.

Svetlana is a Russian native who spent most of her life in Ukraine, while Carlos is from France. From the moment they met, they knew they were meant for each other. This is a story of love at first sight.

Images: Courtesy of interviewees, pexels

There’s an unofficial name for today – Twosday. It’s 2.22.2022 and it’s indeed a Tuesday. All around the world lovebirds are making today their wedding day, believing it to be the luckiest day of the year to tie the knot.

So, in the spirit of everlasting love, we’re dedicating all our posts to marriage today.

I don’t believe in love at first sight or relationships that are all sunshine and roses. Life isn’t a Disney movie. Relationships take work and it’s through trial, error, and plenty of mistakes along the way, that we learn about ourselves and our partners.

Deep inside the mountain of relationship advice piled on you by family and friends, chances are there’s at least one piece of good advice that you took to heart.

Today, on 2.22.2022, we’ve asked Beijing’s expat community to share with us some of the best relationship advice they’ve ever received.

“The hard times are the most important ones for the relationship. Value them.” – Carlos Ore

“After an argument, never go to bed without making peace (or love)!” – Alessia Chizzoniti

“Acknowledging all kinds of feelings instead of trying to fix them would really be the game-changer. Accepting the negative ones but not trying to fix them needs wisdom and bravery to practice. The value of all feelings in our relationship is all about being ‘felt’ but not being ‘fixed.'”  – Shu Qi

“Don’t talk about it with other people, talk about it with your partner. While your friends and family may have your best interest at heart, it’s not really their business.” – Yazmin Jamil

“[My husband] and I took PET (parent effectiveness training) when [our daughter]was about 1 year old. It actually helped us the most to communicate as a couple and business partners. 1) Active listening 2) How to send an ‘I’ message.” – Toni Ma

“Understand the Love Language of your partner.” – Angie Chan

While it’s undoubtedly important to give a relationship your all and to love your partner, there’s one piece of advice that came up multiple times, and it has nothing to do with another person.

“You have to love yourself first.”

What’s more, it’s important to recognize that when it comes to relationships, not every one of them works out. Some people come into your life only to teach you a valuable lesson and move on.

“If you have doubts whether if he loves you, then he probably doesn’t.” – Marlon Ma

KEEP READING: Love in the Time of Corona: Jim & Jen’s Expat Love Story

Images: Pexels

You’ve got kids, you run the house, and you may also have a day job on top of all that. Plus, there’s play dates, school conferences, and you’ve got to make time for your friends too, so in the midst of such full schedules, when is there time to date the person you chose to start a family with? After all, don’t you see each other every night and share a bathroom? How much closer can we get than that?

But chances are, you probably know that being in the same room as your spouse can hardly mean quality time for your relationship. It takes a little more effort on both your parts, to keep cultivating your connection to each other to ensure you stay on the same page. That’s where the whole idea of Date Night with your spouse comes in.

Let me beat you to the punch before you protest by countering your point that as expats living overseas in a foreign city, we hardly have the luxury of in-laws, family, or neighbors as babysitters. It can even be challenging to find a trusted babysitter if you don’t have a regular ayi.

Here are a few solutions to help with that:

1. Organise a sleepover for the kids at their friends’ houses
2. Do a swap with family friends to see if they’ll watch your kids for one night, and you watch theirs in return!
3. Have your date during the day instead (Surprise them at work and bring them out for a walk outside on a beautiful afternoon)
4. As a final resort, you can also put together a simple date night at home after the kids are at school or asleep (just be sure you’re doing more than Netflix and chill, actually spend time talking or being with each other!)

Erin C, who has been married for a decade and has three daughters, squeezes time for a date with her husband Giuseppe at least once a month, which is “essential for sanity, marriage, and seeing the city from a different angle, literally” She elaborates, “I had no idea how different touring the Forbidden City would be without a stroller!”

She doesn’t put too much emphasis on planning these date nights, oftentimes just winging it without a reservation or advance notice. But she does stress that “It’s important both parents feel happy to be out that night. That’s why sometimes things can’t be planned in advance, and if there is a new baby involved, both need to be ready to [step away without being]stressed. But it’s also important for one partner to kind of nudge the other partner out the door sometimes, even just for a date walk (15 minutes) and then longer as you can.”

Their dates help Erin feel “Refreshed. Rekindled. Reconnected as something other than parents, which is ridiculously important.”

Some of Erin’s previous successful date nights include bowling at 东环保龄球馆 (Dōng huán bǎolíngqiú guǎn) and hanging out at their neighborhood jazz club. Whatever you choose to do, be present, keep devices to a minimum and try not to discuss any family logistical matters like groceries, or budgeting, or anything on your to-do lists.

Want to put the romance back in your relationship? We’ve put together some other non-dining Date Night Ideas –

Couples Spa 

There are so many spa places that offer a couples room, usually with advance booking. A personal recommendation if you’ve got the budget for it would be the Dragonfly at Kerry Center. You can do facials, body massages, and more! Or you can opt for a pair of masseuses to come to your place if you prefer to keep things intimate by using this home spa app.

Movies

Yes, there are international films in English (albeit with Chinese subtitles) at many of the bigger cinema chains. You can look up the nearest cinema to you and the films that are playing through the following steps on WeChat. The key here is to recognize the two words circled in the last photo 英语 which means the film is in English! Oh, and just for tonight, at Baby Boom Bar, they’re showing a triple feature of you guessed it, horror films.

Walking Tours

There’s no better way to get to know the city you live in than to walk around it and explore its nooks and crannies. Companies such as Beijing Postcards, Beijing By Foot, Our Beijing, The Hutong and many others regularly conduct walking tours of various historical sights in the capital. With Halloween coming up, you might even consider a Haunted Walking Tour with Bizarre Beijing, if you dare.

Arcades 

Remember Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja? Play them in person at VS Sports Park with their virtual reality games that pit you against your spouse, or get you to team up to work cooperatively. Check out editor Mina Yan’s blog and video of the place here.

KEEP READING: QiXi Love Stories: After 33 Days of Online Chatting and a First Date, the Rest is History

Images: Unsplash, Pexels, Vivienne Tseng-Rush

Every year when Chinese Valentine’s – aka QiXi Festival – rolls around, English-language WeChat accounts publish long articles about the holiday’s origins using the same, boring graphics of a boy and a girl in front of a moon on a bridge of birds. Click here if you really want to learn the story behind QiXi.

This year, instead of retelling that myth, Jingkids is sharing some epic real-life love stories.

Once upon a time, before there was Tinder, there was an online dating site called OkCupid. OkCupid believes that you deserve to find who you’re looking for. In the case of Anna Hartley and Charles Pellegrin, OkCupid delivered.

Anna and Charles were both living in Paris when OkCupid introduced them to each other. Anna had been in Paris for two years and was fed up with the dating scene, so she decided to try online dating for fun. Charles had been on OkCupid for two years at that time and was just about to give up hope when he came across Anna’s profile.

Charles: She looked really cool, and her independent spirit really came through. I thought to myself, “This person really knows who she is” and I found that very attractive.

So Anna and Charles went out for a drink at a bar in the Marais, where they talked for hours and hours…

Anna: …and I got no goodbye kiss! I remember walking home in a bit of a daze.

Charles: I knew I was definitely going to see her again so I didn’t kiss her that night. I called her a few days later to set up a second date.

Anna was instantly comfortable with Charles, knowing that their values and aspirations aligned. Plus, as Anna says, “He is so handsome and clever. I had no hope.”

While Charles knew that Anna was special from the get-go, it took him a few months before he realized that she would be the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. “The turning point was a weekend away in Reims where it really dawned on me how amazing she was. I love that she’s able to take in little details from everyday life and turn them into poetry. She’s a constant ray of sunshine.”

When Anna got all of Charles’ friends from around the world to send their well-wishes for his 30th birthday and made it into an amazing video, that was the most romantic gesture that she had ever done for him. For Anna, however, Charles isn’t one big romantic gesture, but “he tells me he loves me every day and shows it in a million little ways like making me breakfast. I am very lucky!”

Anna: “Charles is someone of great integrity. He keeps me grounded when I am worried or scared and is so kind and generous with everyone. He’s also very funny.”

Charles: “Anna is very creative and adventurous, which I love. I’ve learned skills that I would never have dared to on my own, thanks to her. She exudes beauty and kindness. Plus, she laughs at my jokes.”

Though anywhere with each other is the most romantic place they could be in, the outdoor tables at The Local where they went together in their early days in Beijing brought them a bit of familiarity in a strange country. Also, the Jiangxi noodle place across the street from where they used to live made them feel like they just might get the hang of living in Beijing. And they have indeed. We wish the wonderful couple good fortune and happy years ahead as they move to Paris for their next adventure, when their first baby arrives in January!

KEEP READING: QiXi Love Stories: The Whirlwind Romance That Brought This Couple To Beijing

Images: Courtesy of Anna Hartley

Every year when Chinese Valentine’s – aka QiXi Festival – rolls around, English-language WeChat accounts publish long articles about the holiday’s origins using the same, boring graphics of a boy and a girl in front of a moon on a bridge of birds. Click here if you really want to learn the story behind QiXi.

This year, instead of retelling that myth, Jingkids is sharing some epic real-life love stories.

Shenyang-born Shu Qi was intrigued by Jacob Wang from the moment she bought wine from a TMall store he and his friends owned. She said his unique sense of humor came through in their online banter. In fact, she was so intrigued that she hopped on a high-speed train to Beijing, Jacob’s hometown, to surprise him in person, a mere 33 days after they first exchanged words and began chatting online via QQ (this was a time before WeChat, if you can imagine it).

“The instant I saw him, I knew I would marry him,” Shu declared. A week later, she met his parents – they were shocked, to say the least – and within a year they were, as she had predicted, married.

That first conversation was so fundamental to their connection that Jacob even saved a screenshot of it and presented it to Shu in a homemade video message when he arrived at the airport in Detroit. He had uprooted his entire life in Beijing to move to Michigan where Shu had just launched her career in education. “If this is not love, I don’t know what is,” Jacob had posted on his WeChat Moments along with a photograph of dozens of suitcases at the Beijing airport before he embarked on the life-changing flight. In 2017, their son Valiant (they call him Val) was born in Oxford, Michigan.

When asked what was the most romantic thing that Shu has ever done for him, Jacob said, “She baked me a cake.” He is quick to explain that though it sounds simple, baking is anything but simple for Shu, as she tends to get distracted by the mess and get caught up cleaning while the meal is burning on the stove. So the fact that she even attempted, and rather successfully baked a cake for Jacob’s birthday, meant the world to him.

Shu’s cake to Jacob says, “I love you berry much”

The last time the family was in the US was before the pandemic swept across the globe. They had returned to China to visit Val’s grandparents when the virus hit, and after seeing how badly it was affecting the US, they made the decision to stay in Beijing. They enrolled Val in an international school, and have since remade their lives in the capital. Shu is currently the president of the Parent Teacher Association (PTA), where she leads a weekly book club (they are currently reading How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids) and Jacob has resumed management of his own TMall store.

“My life is richer because she’s in it. Wherever she is, is the most romantic place to me,” Jacob answers, when I ask him where the most romantic place is for them. Almost embarrassingly, Shu answered similarly in our separate interview, “This is a little bit lame but can I say, wherever he is.”

It gets even better. When I asked for the three things they love most about each other, Shu’s first unabashed response was “the sex.” Jacob’s was “She’s kind at heart.”

Their own respective sense of humor was another quality they appreciate about each other. For Shu, Jacob’s handiness around the house is also part of why she loves him.

Though the couple has made the most of their time here in the capital, they expect to return to the States soon, where they are also hoping to expand their family, as well as move to Connecticut for better school choices.

KEEP READING: Going “Tarps Off!” With Children’s Storybook Author Curtis Dracz

Images: Shu Qi

As if we need another ‘official holiday’ to feel the pressure of public displays of affection. In the West, there’s Valentine’s Day (Feb 14), the day when restaurants push heart and cupid filled set menus and the price for roses and chocolate suddenly double. In China, we have the Western Valentine’s Day, but there’s also May 20, more commonly known as 520 because in Chinese these three numbers are pronounced “wǔèrlíng”, which sounds similar to “wǒàinǐ” (我爱你, I love you.) Just don’t confuse it with Qixi, the ancient Chinese festival which is also sometimes referred to as ‘Chinese Valentine’s Day‘.

But back to 520… what started as an online slang term quickly caught on with the retail industry and *poof!* a new holiday was born! May 20 has since become a special day for couples in Chinese, as more and more young love-birds are choosing to get hitched, propose, or make their relationship status official on this day. And as someone who frequently forgets holidays and anniversaries, it’s a good chance for a re-do for the Valentine’s Day plan that may have been forgotten, as this year it fell on Chinese New Year during the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.

It’s also another excuse to call ayi to watch the kids for a couple of extra hours (or the whole night) and spend the time re-living your honeymoon days with your partner. Here are some of our favorite 520 dining deals in the city:

Eat, Drink & Love with Frasca at the Opposite House

Express your love, cherish every moment that you spend with your loved ones, and create unforgettable memories that last forever. Whether you choose the intimate indoor dining room or the breezy spring alfresco dining terrace, Chef Marino at Frasca has got you covered with a four-course menu that is sure to conjure romantic memories of Italy. RMB 520 per person, 5-9pm, Ph: 6410-5210

Michelin Star Crossed Lovers

Also at The Opposite House, experience romantic elegance with an evocative Michelin star tasting menu created especially for the evening by chef Li Dong at Jing Yaa Tang. RMB 1,314 for two people. 6410- 5230.

Great Love Affairs Start with Champagne

If a cheeky drink is more your speed on this romantic evening, you can sip Champagne in style in Union, where all Champagnes will be 50% off throughout the evening. 6410-5180

TRB Forbidden City

Celebrate 520 at one of Beijing’s iconic romantic restaurant. Enjoy a 6-course dinner menu and an unparalleled view of the Forbidden City. RMB 1,314 per person. Ph: 6401 6676.

Maison Flo

Maison Flo may seem a bit out of the way perched at the northeast end of Xiaoyun Lu, but their choice of location becomes clear when you see the extensive outside terrace and garden that’s simply stunning this time of the year. They have prepared two set menus for the evening. RMB 1,688 per person or RMB 1,988 per person. Ph: 6595 5135.

Xian

Enjoy the sun and breeze at Xian, EAST Hotel with a 3-course set menu with your choice of main along with free-flow sparkling wine, house wines, and craft beers.

Migas Mercado

Annie’s

KEEP READING: How to Post and Promote Your Event on beijingkids – For Free!

Photos: Courtesy of organizers, Remote Land

The Green Room 

 

My husband and I just returned from a two night/three day road trip down England’s south coast without our baby son, Kai. We left him with his grandparents and headed off together. It has been my experience that a couple should, if possible, get time away from their kids together, even if its just a few hours. Routines, especially breastfeeding, can make this hard, but I believe it’s important to try.

Why? Just hopping in the car like it was no big deal and driving off, literally into the sunset, felt amazing. We felt light and young again! It totally refreshed me – like I hit a “reset” button deep within me.

Hanging out with my gorgeous husband for three days straight was a priceless gift. We laughed so much. We were like teenagers again. We giggled. We kissed. Re-connecting with him felt so good, and has given me an unexpected boost in energy. I wasn’t expecting it to feel as nice as it did. Love is why we are together in the first place. Raising a young child, you go through a lot, and so it was good to reconnect and make time for love and laughter.

As much as we enjoyed couple time, our trip cemented in our heads how precious, beautiful, and special our little bundle of giggles is to us. We are a family now, and we missed him. Within the first few hours of our trip we stopped for a meal at a small bistro on the water as the sun set. Serendipitously, we were seated next to another young couple and their little baby. We couldn’t help starting up a conversation with them and telling them about Kai. The trend continued: that night we realized we had mentioned Kai to everyone we met that day. As much as we enjoyed the independence and freedom the trip gave us, it also brought a realization that baby Kai is so much a part of us now. We will never be individuals again; and it’s something we couldn’t be happier about.

Theresa Pauline is a yoga teacher, social entrepreneur, momma, wife, and beijingkids contributor. You can find out more about her at www.taozitreeyoga.com

Photos: Courtesy of Theresa Pauline

Photo by Christopher Lay