Once, I attended a baby shower on a Saturday afternoon. The next day the grateful mother-to-be thanked my husband for looking after our children while I attended the event. I found her words interesting.

Now, I believe in saying thank you, and I’m all for not taking people for granted. And just so you know, my husband and I make a point of expressing gratitude whenever one of us holds the fort at home while the other one of us is out. However, in all my years of being a mother, nobody (other than my husband) has ever thanked me for taking care of my own offspring. I don’t crave accolades. I’m just giving voice to my musings on the archaic notion that attending to the children is “the woman’s job”, and thus when a man spends time alone with his children he is somehow doing something extraordinary.

Perhaps I can attribute my take on this matter to my own childhood. When I was growing up, my mother never hesitated to leave my siblings and me with my father while she was out. I guess she figured that if my Dad could simultaneously run two companies and successfully coordinate a team of hardheaded employees, then surely four lively children were no match for him. And sure enough, my Dad always rose to the occasion.

He would pick groceries up on his way home from work, he’d do our hair and send us out into the world looking presentable, and he’d make us sandwiches for our packed lunch. There was no cheerleading squad applauding his every move. He just got on and did what needed to be done, because that is what parents do.

Fast forward a few years, and my husband and I find ourselves in the same predicament that my parents were in— thousands of miles away from our extended family, and parenting as a team. Just like my Dad all those years ago, my husband continually demonstrates that working a full-time job does not mean one cannot be a hands-on father.

When my husband baths our children, takes them to the playground or puts them to bed at night, I am extremely grateful, but I am not in awe. While I appreciate the fact that he has been at work all day, I am also conscious that my children are his children too. And if they are his children too, then when he attends to their practical needs he is not performing some marvelous feat, he is simply doing what parenthood requires of him.

Photo: Pamela Djima

I began blogging over a decade ago, when my now-teen son Myles was a baby. It was mostly for fun, something that provided me a creative outlet as well as kept my scattered family and friends up to date on what we were doing. I never overshared, but I really enjoyed describing my awe with my infant son’s progress to toddlerdom.

My blog took on different forms over the years as my life took on different shapes: a mommy blog, a grief blog, a Pittsburgh sports fan blog, a pregnancy blog, a homeschooling blog, a travel blog. For the last several years, it has become the home of the “Only Catholic Expat Steelersfan Mommyblogger in Beijing.” Through all those iterations, the constant has been a focus on my kids. Myles and Brigid have always provided me ample material to post.

My blogging caught the attention of someone associated with beijingkids magazine in 2010, and shortly after I began my column Alternate Routes. As an extension of what I was already writing about online, I especially mined my kids’ experiences for material. In the pages of this magazine, I have given the readers a peek into some of my son’s personal milestones in Beijing—going out for soccer (August 2011), buying his first guitar at Rock Mei Mei (August 2012), and dancing on a table at a Beijing Oktoberfest party (October 2015).

Whenever he would find beijingkids in Shunyi or Sanlitun, he would pick up a copy and start flipping through it.

“Did you write in this month’s issue?” he would ask, then adding proudly, “Did you write about me?”

In October of last year, Myles turned thirteen. Suddenly, I was conscious of the absence of funny toddler and preschool moments in my days. Now there was a teenager in my home who might not be comfortable with anyone outside of our family circle reading details he would rather keep private.

It wasn’t that I exploited every moment of his life; I had my self-imposed limits, like no mentions of bodily fluids or private parts. Toddlers in particular say funny things about bodily fluids and private parts. My own kids were no different. However, I kept those to myself out of respect.

Since Myles’ birthday, I was beginning to wonder if maybe he would take issue with my broadcasting anything about his life, even to my relatively limited audience.

I asked him as I was writing this what he thought about his being the subject of my blog posts and the focus of this column specifically. Did he have any reservations, I wanted to know.

He shrugged, “Not really. You can write whatever you want.”

I attempted to press him further on the subject, but in response I received more variations of the same indifference.

I appreciated the faith he had in me, that I would not overstep the bounds. I reviewed some of my past columns and blog posts and realized why he held this trust. If anyone had cause to be embarrassed by anything I had divulged in print or online, it would be me. Usually in my vignettes, if Myles and Brigid played any part, they were cast as the heroes, while I was more often their less-than-capable sidekick.

I suppose my next challenge as a mommy blogger is not material drying up, but keeping the dialogue going with my new teenager to know when he wants privacy.

After Ryder and Bryson were born 27.5 months ago, my life was completely changed; sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the very much worse. Still, every time I met a parent of twins, they gave me a knowing look of sympathy and admiration. “Those first two years are hell,” they told me, “but then it gets easier and easier.”

Why easier? Because twins have naturally built in playmates. As the father of these two, I began to see glimmers of this behavior early on. Where other kids struggled to share with another toddler, my boys were conditioned to pass a toy along. They didn’t always want too, but they were much more likely to let a toy go or simply offer it up to their sibling. That’s a nice trait to see in my kids, but it pales in comparison to the sheer joy they take in each other’s company.

For a time, Ryder and Bryson would bite each other out of frustration, but lately this has giving way to delightful sessions of chasing, giggling, and imitation. They run back and forth through the home as they pretend to be kittens or fire trucks or hummingbirds or whatever. They explore together under the table. They look for each other at the break of day. And at bedtime they sing songs and babble together.

I’m certain their days of conflict and rivalry are not over, but I’m also certain that the affection they feel towards one another will continue to grow and develop. There is no need to coax them into giving each other hugs, they readily seek each other out for support and comfort. Sometimes the displays of affection are so intimate, I feel a bit embarrassed to watch. It like I’m intruding on them and I should simply give them a little more space.

Photo: Christopher Lay

Heads up: beijingkids is now on Pinterest, the social media site that allows you to organize pictures into themed "boards" or collections. We scoured our archives and brought together our greatest hits for family-friendly dining, day trips, weekend getaways, and more in a visually-appealing format.

Recently, Pinterest also introduced a Foursquare-powered map function that allows you to visualize the physical location of all the pins on a board. For example, readers can see the placement of each entry on our board for kid-friendly restaurants in Beijing.

In addition to pinning relevant content from others and our own website, we’ll be putting up seasonal boards for things like unique Christmas gifts with a Beijing dimension.

Start following us at www.pinterest.com/beijingkids.com and let us know if there’s a board you’d like to see.

Something magical happened when Reina (my six year-old) and I entered the Capital M lobby to attend a session of the Capital M Literary Festival. She marveled at the uncluttered décor before we entered the elevator and then, upon entering the carriage, she proclaimed, “Baba, it’s so beautiful.” There is no question that the management of Capital M pride themselves on their attention detail. Whether it is the tapestry that drapes the elevators, the hand-painted china cups, or the sensational deserts, nothing is left to chance and everything is planed to perfection. So it should come as no surprise that Michelle (the M in Capital M) and her team bring the same level of excellence to the M Literary Festival too.

I had the great fortune to attend several of the events in the first two weeks: a discussion with Kaz Cooke about her book Girl’s Stuff: Your Full-On Guide to the Teen Years, producer William Fay on Turning Comics into Film, the Women’s Day Literary Lunch, and Mark Moffett’s exceptional presentation on his Adventures Among the Ants. Honestly, if I lived closer to Capital M, I would attend every session my beloved wife would let me sneak out too. I’m still not sure how I managed to attend as much as I did.

Kaz Cooke’s discussion of Girl’s Stuff made it clear that we need a copy of her book for when Reina reaches 12 so that she has unfettered access to answers to questions about her body and her development that she may not even know she has. And it is served up with a great deal of humor. Kaz herself pointed out that she is not a parenting expert, but a reporter who wanted to understand what her own daughter was going through, so she surveyed over 4000 teens and interviewed a slew of experts in relevant fields to create a complete guide. And I do mean complete, as the book is massive.

William Fay’s talk on the process of transforming comics into film was truly eye opening for anyone who loves going to the movies or reading graphic novels and comics. He has produced such blockbusters as Independence Day, Superman Returns, and 300 to name just a fraction of the films he has worked on. During the 90 minute session where he fielded questions from the audience, he gave insight into the various roles a producer takes on from managing the day to day of a production to finding the financing of a film, and discussed how the industry is changing, and the future of 3D.

In honor of Women’s Day, the Festival held a Literary Lunch with authors Kaz Cooke, Linda Jaivin, and Deb Fallows who each discussed their perspective on the changing role of women in society and what women want/need. As one of the few men in the audience, I was humbled not only by the achievements of the authors, but by the caliber of the women in the audience and their own achievements abroad and in Beijing.

Finally, Reina and I attended Mark Moffett’s presentation on his research into the world of ants. He has written stories for National Geographic along with his own book, and his photos of his tiny subjects are unparalleled when it comes to documenting the life of these fascinating and often underappreciated insects. Attended by as many children as adults, at the end of his session, the kids eagerly asked questions (as did the adults) until there really was no time left. Mark’s unbridled enthusiasm for his subject was infectious, though no one seemed to want to join him on his next jungle adventure to carry out more research. Even the kids seemed content to simply read about his work and look at he pictures.

Although the Festival is already in it’s final days, there is still time to catch some great talks and learn about the work of some amazing authors before the festival closes on Sunday, 17 March. To find out more, see the schedule, or get directions to Capital M visit www.m-restaurantgroup.com. To order tickets visit www.mypiao.com or call 400-620-6006. Tickets can also be purchased at the restaurant in advance from 11am-7pm. All sessions are RMB75 and include a drink. Children/student tickets are RMB20.