Valentine’s Day is here again, and we want to celebrate the thing that makes us feel alive – love, that many-splendored thing that’s better than ice cream and comes in all shapes and sizes.

Today we celebrate a couple of newlyweds who weren’t about to let a little global pandemic stand in the way of their destiny.

Jim Tsai (36) and Jen Fornek (33) are picture-perfect modern expats. Highly educated, successful, open-minded, and adventurous. They had unknowingly been circling around each other for years, living in the same cities and working as engineers for the same company but somehow never actually meeting. That is until fate intervened one night in Ulsan, Korea. Jen was being transferred there and was on her go-see trip. According to their wedding website, what followed was destiny fueled by ice cream and soju.

“Jen took a one-week business trip to Ulsan in September 2015. As luck would have it, she came down with a nasty cold just days before the trip. Surviving on decongestants, Jen was meeting the team and learning about the new place she would soon call home. Part of that ‘learning’ meant an inaugural trip to Lighthouse, a local watering hole the expat crew frequented for happy hour. Jen wasn’t feeling great, but she also has serious FOMO, so she agreed to go for one drink…As Jen was about to leave, in strolled Jim with a soft-serve ice cream cone in hand. Who was this guy? … One drink turned into a group dinner where Jim conveniently sat next to Jen and showed off his Korean BBQ skills. The soju was flowing and so was the conversation. Brimming with liquid courage, the entire group decided there was only one thing left to do… karaoke!! After just one night, the chemistry was instant and undeniable, but Jen was still months away from actually moving to South Korea! Luckily that wasn’t going to stop Jim. Over the next three months, he made communication a priority, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night, while Jen bounced from timezone to timezone until she finally landed in Korea – Dec 31, 2015 – ready to kick start a new year and a new adventure with Jim by her side!”

Fast forward to 2019 and they were living together in Texas when Jim suggested they take a bike ride.

“I was a bit surprised because Jim isn’t big on physical activity that doesn’t involve golfing, but I was here for it!” says Jen. Unfortunately, the weather was not cooperating and it started to rain. Jen suggested turning back but Jim was insistent. Soaking wet and admittedly a little angry, Jen reached into her bag when they stopped at a secluded spot for a rest. As she looked up Jim was holding a ring box. “My initial reaction was a combination of ‘oh my gosh this happening!’ and ‘oh, now this whole bike ride in the rain is starting to make sense.’”

They began planning the wedding in Jen’s hometown of Chicago but by May 2020 Covid had been declared a national emergency, so they made the decision to err on the side of caution.

“Everything that couldn’t be refunded was rebooked for September 2021. Surely in a year and a half, we would be able to have our wedding as planned,” Jen says with a sarcastic laugh.

A few weeks later they found out they were being sent to a project in Beijing.

“We decided that even without the pomp and circumstance of a big wedding, it was important to us to be legally married before the move. So, on our original planned wedding date, we eloped…[with]just our immediate families and a few very close friends.  And to be honest, even though the day wasn’t what we had originally planned, it was still a dream.”

A year later with Covid still underway and the new wedding date approaching, the couple decided not to delay any further. With family support and an excellent wedding planner, they made arrangements for the big day from the other side of the world. They negotiated with work for the time off, got vaccinated, made sure all their guests were vaccinated, and flew home knowing that at the very least they would need to do a three-week quarantine upon return – if they were allowed to return at all.

Was it worth the risk? “That moment – Jim waiting at the end of the aisle, my father at my side, my extremely talented brother singing, surrounded by all of our family and friends who couldn’t be there in July 2020 and whom we hadn’t seen in well over a year – it was a moment, at times, we thought we might never experience. But now, it is a moment we will never forget.”

They returned to Beijing for quarantine. “It was not the honeymoon we had envisioned. Jokes aside, we were happy to be able to quarantine together in the same room. There were some logistical challenges. We were both back to work during the quarantine period, so we had to coordinate our calendars to avoid scheduling/joining Zoom meetings at the same time. There were also occasional phone calls taken from the bathroom, the only place to get any separation/privacy.”

Throughout the entire process, they have kept their sense of humor. When I asked what the biggest surprise about marriage was they explain, “I don’t think either of us expected to get married twice, to the same person, during a global pandemic.”

They now look forward to traveling as newlyweds once borders reopen and eventually starting a family together. As for other expat couples attempting to plan a wedding from across the ocean, Jen warns, “don’t do it… especially not during a pandemic! But if you can’t [avoid it], my biggest advice is to give yourself ample time and do not be afraid to ask for help.”

Happy Valentine’s day to all the newlyweds and soon-to-weds!

Keep Reading: Ayisha & Ben’s Teenage Romance Is Literally a Walk in the Park

Images: Jen Fonek

On a whim, I typed “Valentine’s gifts” into Taobao. And the algorithm dropped me down a, shall we say, interesting rabbit hole. Don’t worry, we’ll keep it PG here.

I love you so much I gave you crabs!

This board game – which looks hilariously fun by the way – may not send quite the right message.

Instead, consider upgrading to lobster at the Intercontinental’s Full Love @ Ying event. Message Ajit using the QR code below to ask about staycation deals and keep the romance going all weekend long.

You’re cute…but your breath

A range of amazing health and hygiene gifts appeared including rose decals for your man’s beard because he’s comfortable with his masculinity. A facial yoga set, because what says I love you more than “honey, you look old, go exercise.” And my favorite, his and her tongue scrapers for the couple who wants to make out but ate a bit too much garlic at their romantic Italian dinner.

Might I suggest opting for a couples massage or facial at one of Beijing’s many spas? Quality time and skincare all in one relaxing place. Alice Spa, Bohdi Spa, and Dragonfly Spa each have multiple locations throughout the city as well as options that fit a range of budgets including gift vouchers. QR codes are below.

You said to think about our future!

Yeah, but maybe not that far in advance. On the up side, these urns are reasonably priced. Instead….

…hone in on one of your favorite activities as an expat couple – traveling! These maps allow you to scratch off all the places you’ve been together and the scrapbook is a perfect place to compile some of your favorite pictures and ticket stubs into an evolving memento. At the back of the book leave several blank pages and write “I can’t wait to fill these pages with all our future adventures together.”

What’s with the mugs?

So. Many. Mugs. Most of which we can’t share here given the family-friendly nature of our mission. I get if it’s a cute inside joke between you and your beau, but really no one likes tea that much. And even if they do try this instead…

Nuo’s Romantic Valentine’s Tea. Spend the afternoon sipping and nibbling, followed by an evening exploring Universal Citywalk right next door.

It’s a pink skyscraper vase mom!

Yeah…everyone loves flowers but maybe not in this particular vase. Also, living flowers are preferable so…

Order an arrangement or attend this flower arranging workshop from Studio Flowers. It’s child-friendly so your little one can make mommy or daddy the perfect heart-shaped bouquet!

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

KEEP READING: Larry the Bird’s Leftover Makeover

Images: Taobao, Canva

The greatest love story of all time isn’t anything you read in books or watch in movies. The greatest love story is your own. For most of us, finding your soulmate isn’t like in the movies. There’s no romantic encounter where your eyes meet for the first time and you instantly know you’re destined for each other. In the real world, relationships take work and it doesn’t stop after you say “I do”.

Beijing locals call their spouse their laoban’r (老伴儿) which means old other half, a term I personally find adorable. We spoke with a few expat laoban’rs in Beijing who’ve been married for decades to ask them to share a bit of wisdom on the secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

Jenny and Deva Eveland have been married for 13 years.

What’s your secret for a long-lasting relationship?
Give each other time and space to be independent. Once you have a kid, make time for date nights.

Do you have a romantic story you’d like to share with our readers?
In our junior year of college, we both decided to study abroad. We ended up meeting at the same art college in Cardiff, Wales. He then moved back to Idaho and me to Virginia. It was difficult but we made it work. He moved to Virginia, then I moved to Illinois. Since then, we’ve lived in Guadalajara, Mexico, Phnom Penh (Cambodia), and now Beijing.

Jenny and Mikael Karlsson have been married for 22 years. The couple has four kids: Maria (27), Sara (25), Ulrik (20), and Sture (18).

What’s your secret for a long-lasting relationship?
Our secret for a long relationship is to commit fully to the relationship and make sure that, in things that matter, our goals and motivations are the same.

Do you have any advice for new couples?
Make sure that you both develop, and are doing, the life journey together. Share the responsibility as much as possible and continue to do things together outside of the home. Don’t forget what made your partner special when you first met.

Jack and Laura Kriss have been married for 27 years this June! The couple has two daughters (25 and 23). Their youngest daughter will be getting married on June 26.

What’s your secret for a long-lasting relationship?
We have so many, it’s hard to rank their value, but our top four are: friendship underlies our love, communication without expectations and judgment (be honest and open about what you need from the relationship, don’t assume your partner knows), no holding grudges, break routines and keep life exciting.

Blaming is not an answer to relationship problems. Digging deep and discovering how each is contributing to the relationship will bring both an equitable and loving solution.

Take care of yourself and your health. Your happiness directly impacts the relationship.

Do you have a romantic story you’d like to share with our readers?
My wife and I left college, I married and she went to work. My 1st marriage was short, less than 12 months and once I was divorced, I called around our college town to the places Laura worked looking for her. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find her, so gave up and started dating.

Unbeknownst to me, Laura had heard I was divorced and she had started looking for me, but she too was unsuccessful. So she made plans to move from our home state of Colorado back East with a girlfriend.

On her last night of work (a friend had asked her to swap shifts, otherwise she wouldn’t have been there) at a bar/restaurant in Denver, Colorado (she was waitressing to earn funds to leave) I happened to walk into her restaurant with a date (the date had picked our restaurant). It should be noted that I had driven over an hour that evening from where I was living in Colorado to go on this date, so the stars had definitely aligned for us. Anyway, when I walked into the restaurant, we both immediately saw each other and we literally ran at each other and she jumped into my arms. We swung around and kissed and well, I took my aghast date home early, then turned around and went back to the bar to pick up Laura. We haven’t been apart since!

No real-life love story is a fairy tale. We’ve all got out ups and downs and challenges that we must face. Like all Beijing-based families, we’re in this COVID-19 outbreak together and while quarantine is stressful, we’ll come out of this stronger together. Happy Valentine’s Day

Photos: courtesy of the interviewees, unsplash

Soon it will be the Lantern Festival (元宵节 yuán xiāo jié), the climax of the Chinese New Year holiday. It is the first full moon night, which is celebrated on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month.

Over 2000 years, the festival has developed many meanings. People usually celebrate it by moon gazing, lighting lanterns, watching the Lion dance, and eating rice balls (汤圆 tāng yuán) during family reunions. But did you know that, besides the lantern fairs and other traditions, back in ancient times, it was the “true” Chinese Valentine’s Day?

The origin

In ancient China, women usually weren’t allowed out the house. There was a curfew system to prevent criminal activities such as gambling and stealing. No one was allowed to travel from 7pm to 5am, except for funerals, medical treatment, and marriage. Violators would be flogged at least 20 times with a rattan cane as a punishment.

But on the night of the Lantern Festival, everyone could stroll freely. Through lighting lanterns, playing games, and other activities, women could interact with men. These romantic stories are why some say the Lantern Festival is the true Chinese Valentine’s Day, rather than the Qixi Festival, which celebrates the annual meeting of the cowherd and weaver girl in Chinese mythology.

Tales from the past

Princess Taiping, (太平公主Tàipíng Gōngzhǔ), which means “Princess of Great Peace“, was a princess of the Tang Dynasty. Her first accidental meeting with her future husband Xue Shao was during Lantern Festival. During the night, she snuck out of the palace. The princess fell in love with Xue Shao the moment he took off his mask, while she was strolling around during Lantern festival. As she said, she had never seen any man as beautiful as him.

In the Song Dynasty, the famous poet Ou Yangxiu wrote the poem “Fresh berries” to tell a romantic story of the Lantern Festival:

Last year at the Lantern Festival
The flower-market lights were bright as day;
When the moon mounted to the tops of the willows,
Two lovers kept their tryst after the yellow dusk.

This year at the Lantern Festival
The moon and the lights are the same as then;
Only I see not my lover of yesteryear,
And tears drench the sleeves of my blue gown.

(translated by Max)

From the same era, Li Song’s painting “View of the Lantern” depicted the event at that time.

In one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels Dream of the Red Chamber, there is a scene of guessing lantern riddles. After being confined in the boudoir with few free activities for a whole year, the women in the Red Chamber could finally go out and enjoy the Lantern Festival. They dressed up meticulously and tried their best to get attention from men.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy moon gazing, lantern shows and performances while eating a bowl of tāng yuán soon at Lantern Festival!

Photo: Sohu.com, Baidu.com

Reference: British Library, Fenghuang.com